He slapped me and I couldn't stop the moan, as he did that. My brain had basically learned that when he did something that pleases him, it pleased me. Also, I was enjoying the sharp pain and humiliation that came with it.

"You like it, whore?" He slapped me again "Answer me." He pushed himself harder inside me.

"Yes! Yes, sir, I love it when you fuck me like that!" I screamed my lungs hurting from the screaming and the moaning.

Jasper had tied my hands behind my back and was fucking me furiously while I was on top of him. He used this to his advantage using and abusing me with his hands as he wished. He would slap me or pinch my nipples or choke me.

He had proved me very wrong when I had said that the dominant was on top. Very wrong. And I loved every second of it. Perhaps I needed to ask him silly questions more often? He made me squat on him, as he was moving his hips upwards mercilessly.

He pushed my hips down, making me slip up in my squat, landing on his cock, deeper than I had anticipated "Holy fuck." It made me cry out and him moan. He moved his hips upwards keeping up the rhythm.

I could feel the sweet tingly feeling in the pit of my stomach start to form and I knew what I had to do before it got too close "May I cum, sir?"

"No." he was breathless "Hold it."

I was confused, this being the first time he had told me no. If I didn't ask, then he's stop, but not this. He kept up the pace and it made me panic that I was going to cum without his permission. I could feel myself sweating a lot more making me concentrate on not doing what my body was screaming me to do, what my brain was screaming me to do - denying the only thing I truly wanted.

Jaspers pace was starting to become more erratic, and I knew he was close too.

"Cum for me, whore. Do it!" Jasper moaned louder than before, and I knew he was cumming as well. I let go of the stress and I joined him in the sweet and almost painful bliss. I was in seventh heaven if that place was real. Jasper made sure it was.

I was shaking as I was coming down, and Jasper let me just sit on him, as I did that "You were so great." I moaned, still enjoying him "And you were so right." I laughed.

Jasper helped me up and steadied me, my hands still behind my back. As he uncuffed me he kissed my back slowly as he undid the cuffs. Jasper usually kept more silent when he was coming out of his role, opposite of me – I became more talkative, so I didn't really pay attention that he wasn't answering me in full sentences.

"Let's head to my place." I said, not really feeling like I needed extra care, or for that care to be here. I knew he cared about me "I'd much rather relax and watch some Netflix or something."

"Let's do that." He said as he freed me and passed me my clothes.

"How's the apartment hunting?" I asked him as we were getting dressed.

His lip corner dropped in half a scowl "Still pretty bad." Jasper had been looking for apartments for couple of days but every time something was wrong with it. The floor was too high or low, it was too small, had a weird smell – you get the idea. Sometimes it even had ugly windows or a weird looking neighbor. I think he was just looking for an excuse because every time he had mentioned these obstacles of finding a new apartment he was comparing it to the apartment he was in.

"You know, you can always remodel it if you hate it."

I think Jasper knew that he didn't want a different apartment as well. What he wanted was Edward not to live there. But good luck to him, since I knew Edward loved the apartment as well. It was their first apartment they were living in, outside their family or a crappy dorm room. We ended up in my apartment like most of the nights; and it was a fine apartment of course. I definitely liked it! But I knew Jasper wasn't entirely loving it since he knew his apartment had more space, a better bed and more soundproof room than my place. But I had something he didn't – roommates.

It kind of made me look at things differently. When I was with Edward, I hardly ever saw Jasper at their place, always thinking that Jasper was just busy. Now I knew he made himself busy.

We did this most evenings – fucked, went to my place, slept, went our separate ways, met again, fucked… And so on. I was feeling the questions were bubbling inside of me. I wanted to ask him or intend that we do something else for a change but I just didn't know how to bring it up.

Turns out, I didn't have to. When we entered my place, he said "So the party is happening at the café tomorrow night. Do you want to go?" He asked me, hugging me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder.

I smiled to myself as I answered "I'd love to go, if you want to go. I miss Rosalie and Emmett." I had forgotten about them for almost a month now being in a fucking haze. Had a month already passed?

I think he had forgotten about them as well as he said "Yeah, I haven't seen them for a while. I'd love to catch up more than a text or two." He snaked his hands around my body, tickling me softly "You've kept me busy."

I squealed and I tried to get away from him but he had me "Only this time you'll need your own clothes not Rosalie's, since I'm going to rip them off of you!" He pulled my t-shirt off me before he could finish his sentence.

How this man couldn't get enough, was beyond me.

To my surprise I woke up alone. Jasper wasn't in the apartment – I didn't have to look long for him since it was so small. I was a little confused as to where he was or where he went, since every time I woke up, he was there, or he would wake us up or vise versa. When I checked my phone, I had a message from Rosalie

A month goes by fast doesn't it? Jasper said something about shopping. Call me.

-Rosalie

And a message from Jasper

I'm sorry I had to go; I didn't want to wake you. There was an apartment opening in the building. Text me later.

-Jasper

Well… That was the end of that mystery. I hopped in the shower and scrubbed, shaved and polished every part of me. I had an idea where this day was going to lead to, and I wanted to feel as fresh as possible.

I ended calling Rosalie after the shower, and she mentioned that she could pick me up as soon as possible seeing as they wanted to get some dinner before we went there. I realized that I hadn't met anyone for anything outside my Jasper bubble. I was hungry for human contact and I didn't even realize that I was until now. I agreed with Rosalie, picking a much earlier time for her to come pick me up rather than a later one.

When I finally met Rosalie, I felt kind of ashamed remembering that she had to see the mess tat I had been the last time with the event. The memories I had pushed to the side were suddenly very much come back to life. I felt like I should apologize but I had a feeling she would tell me to shut up if I did, so instead I just greeted her and chatted aimlessly.

That is, until she asked me about Jasper "So, how about you guys, he's your dom now?"

Truthfully I didn't know if he was "I think so, yeah. We made it pretty clear to one another that we wanted this."

She nodded, smiling "Good. He hasn't had a sub for a while now. He's much calmer and focused when he has one." Was Jasper ever not calm? I couldn't remember. But then again, I didn't know him as long as Rosalie did. What I took away from Rosalie was that I was meeting his needs and that made me happy enough. I still had time to get to know him.

"What happened to the last sub?" I had to ask, my curiosity getting the best of me.

Rosalie diverted her eyes from mine, pretending to look at something "Well… You met her. Maria. Do you remember her?"

I picked my brain, but it all came out too blurry for me to say yes "Not really, no."

"Well, Maria was his sub for a while. They were a good duo and everything, but they ended their thing since Maria wanted more than a submissive-dominant relationship. I think it was like, almost half a year ago or something."

My stomach dropped.

I tried not to show her my ever-growing stress and played along "Oh? What did she want more? Like to move in or something?"

This time she looked at me, with a tad bit of concern for me "No, not exactly. She wanted a romantic relationship. Because the relationship they had, the submissive-dominant, was just that. He was her dominant and he fucked her in the dungeon. Outside that – nothing. That's it."

I could feel sweat on my back, while I nodded. The dungeon. Did he choose the same room? Was Jasper and I just that? Were we just a sub and a dom?

But… Wasn't that what I wanted initially?

Since when had it turned out that I wanted something more?

Before Rosalie could notice something and tell Jasper, hint him that perhaps I was feeling the same thing as Maria, and make him stop I said "She probably should have voiced her feelings earlier, so they could avoid anything painful. I hope she's doing good."

"Hm." She shrugged "I never cared much for her."

Rosalie and I changed the subject, talking about movies and books, something that made me forget why I had just bought a crotchless lace body, and a dark blue mini dress I would wear over it. And the anxiety that came with it. God, I had to calm down if I didn't want drink myself silly from stress again like the last time!

We didn't stay there for long and just headed to Rosalie's. She had mentioned that her favorite thing was when she had all day to slowly get ready. And I didn't mind it as well.

"You know, I actually very rarely get ready with girls." Rosalie mused as we got together this time, unlike the other one where she was making me up. I didn't want her to and I had a feeling she didn't want to as well. Which was fine – she showed me, she made me feel comfortable and the rest was on me.

I smiled at her, enjoying her company "How come?"

She shrugged her shoulders as she was slowly putting on her clothes "I didn't really have any girlfriends when I was growing up." I could see that play out. Rosalie was blunt and said what was on her mind. That must have been hard on people. But what must've made it harder was that she looked so gorgeous and beautiful. Truthfully, I could see Rosalie not needing anyone. Want – being something different.

Since we were doing our thing, Jasper was away and Emmett was finishing up work, we decided to meet at the restaurant. I felt kind of lost, not really knowing the plans, like where we were going exactly and how much time or money we were going to spend. But I tried to loosen up, and just trying to enjoy everything that was happening. My mind took too much space with too much planning and much less enjoyment of the process. And wasn't bdsm about the enjoyment of it? I was not only learning a lot about sex life but life in general. It could be beautiful, fun and sexy if you played your cards right.

Rosalie called us an uber and it didn't take much time at all from her place. I even almost regretted not walking there. I was surprised that it was a cute, little Mexican restaurant, not something fancy. It was full of flowers, which I adored. I had to stop thinking ahead of these things and making assumptions.

What did help me stop thinking and maybe even drool a little was Jasper, sitting there, waiting for us, wearing a suit. A goddamn grey English style suit. How dare he look this good?

When he stood up to greet us, he got up and kissed both of my cheeks, whispering to me "I hope you're not too fond of that dress." He smelt too good to answer. Like fresh spring flowers. My brain had stopped working.

He smirked at me and moved to kiss Rosalie's cheek "You look dashing as ever Rosalie." Which made her slap his hand away from her shoulder and laugh.

Rosalie did look fantastic, wearing a skintight dark red dress. And I knew that she was wearing a full red set under the dress as well. When Emmett showed up, shortly after us, wearing dress pants and a dress shirt, also matching our theme of intellectual sexy chic, he couldn't keep his hands to himself! He was touching Rosalie one way or another and she let him. I think it was a privilege to earn. I didn't neither of them how their relationship worked and where the lines blurred and how Rosalie dominated, but sometimes it was more interesting just watching them interact than asking and putting my nose up in their business.

The food was fantastic! It didn't matter the place was small or wasn't a fancy one, it delivered one of the best I've ever had. I think I had come accustomed to the fancy places because of Edward. I always felt like I didn't belong. But now, eating a not so spicy taco, I felt perfectly at ease.

"Are you guys ready to go?" Jasper was asking for the third time.

Emmet rolled his eyes "We know you can't wait to get your hands on young Bella here Jasper, but all in good time."

I had to laugh at that. Jasper was truly fidgeting every time he was asking this. Jasper scowled at Emmett but didn't say anything.

"Let's just go, I don't want to get kicked out of the restaurant because Jasper decides to fuck Bella in the bathroom. It's too nice of a place." Rosalie laughed herself helping move things along, making us go. I was enjoying the nice light mood but there was a shitty feeling in the back of my mind that made me think – has this happened before?

"Are you ready?" Jasper asked me, taking my hand.

Was I ready?