Class had just let out and Tenten walked beside her best friend as they made their way to the library. It had been a long day and Tenten was looking forward to heading back to the orphanage and sleeping until dinner, but she also didn't want to leave her friend all alone.
"Come on, Akari. I promise I'll be as quiet as a mouse. I don't want you staying at the library by yourself."
Akari laughed, hooking her arm through the brunette's. "I'll be fine, Tenten. I promise. I need to finish this assignment tonight and you know I can't concentrate at the orphanage. Besides, others are staying late at the library."
"Yeah, but I don't care about the others. It'll be dark by the time you leave. I don't want you to walk home by yourself."
"I'll be fine. Look, there's Temari and her brothers." She pointed to the three siblings walking towards them. "Go home with them. I'll be back later tonight."
Tenten hesitated. She didn't feel comfortable letting her friend walk home late at night by herself. "If you feel uncomfortable walking home by yourself, call me. Okay?"
"Okay, okay. Jeez, you worry too much." Akari gave her a quick hug. "I'll see you tonight."
.
The phone call came just before midnight. Tenten's phone lit up with Akari's name and her heart finally settled at seeing it. "Akari, do you know what time it is? Where are you? Are you okay?"
"Are you Tenten?" The voice wasn't Akari's and Tenten's heart dropped.
"Yes, who is this?"
"I'm afraid I have bad news. Akari is in the hospital right now. We cannot find her parents phone numbers to call, and you are in her phone as 'best friend', so we thought we would ask you."
Tenten didn't hear the lady's words after 'hospital'. Her head spun and she stumbled, legs giving out. She knew she should have stayed! "What happened?"
"She was attacked on her way home from school this evening."
Attacked. All because Tenten hadn't stayed with her. If she had, this wouldn't have happened. She choked out a sob but managed to stand, getting her shoes on as quickly as possible. "Tell me everything."
.
"Please," Tenten was standing on the roof of the hospital, hands out imploringly as rain battered against her. She sobbed and took a step forward, eyes desperate. "Please, Akari. Come down. Please don't do this."
Akari was a sobbing mess, her hospital gown soaked through as she stood on the edge of the building. "You don't understand, Tenten. I can't get the image of what they did to me out of my head." Her face was bruised, her arm was broken, but Tenten knew those things weren't nearly as bad as the damage they had done to her spirit.
Tenten's heart lurched at what she could only imagine her best friend had to go through. All because Tenten hadn't been there. "I know. And I am so, so sorry, Akari. But I promise it will get better. I can help you. Please, just get off the ledge." She took another step, hand outstretched.
"Don't come any closer!" Akari screamed. She shook her head, hands clutching at her hair. "I can't get it out of my head! I want to forget!"
"I know you do." Tenten tried to make her voice sound soft and placating, but she was shaking and sobbing so much she didn't think it worked. "If you come down, we can go see someone who will help you forget. Okay? Just take my hand, and we'll go see them."
"No. I'm never going to forget." She turned pleading eyes onto Tenten then, shaking her head sadly. "I can't do this."
Tenten's heart stopped at the look her friend was giving her. "Yes, yes you can do this. It's just overwhelming right now because it's still fresh in your mind. I promise it will get easier. Akari, please come down. I can help you."
"I'm sorry, Tenten." She turned back to look over the edge of the building and Tenten ran, feet pounding against the wet concrete, trying to reach her before—
.
Tenten woke with a scream, hand outstretched in front of her. Her head throbbed and tears were streaming down her cheeks as the remnants of the nightmare lingered in her mind. She pushed herself out of bed and stumbled to the toilet, heaving over the bowl until the last of the previous night's dinner was emptied. She made her way to the shower, turning it on so that only cold water poured out. She sat on the floor, fully clothed with her hands pressed to her face as great, heaving sobs racked her body, and allowed the cold water to wash over her.
It had been so long since Tenten had dreamed of that dark, horrific day seven years ago. She knew this nightmare was a reminder. She didn't deserve to be happy. She knew that. But lately, Tenten had become selfish. She enjoyed the time she spent with Neji. He made her laugh in a way that she hadn't been able to since Akari's death. With him, she had almost started to believe she could be happy. Properly, fully, completely happy. That nightmare had been a slap to the face, reminding her that she had no right to wish for that kind of pleasure.
After nearly an hour, Tenten managed to drag herself out of the shower. She crawled back into bed, unconcerned that her clothes were quickly soaking the sheets, and reached for her phone to check the time. It rang just as she picked it up, Neji's name flashing on the screen.
She stared at the name until it disappeared and continued staring until the screen turned black, her pale face and bloodshot eyes reflecting back at her. Tenten didn't want to talk to him, not now when she was a complete mess. And yet, at the same time, Neji was the only person Tenten wanted to confide in. She had never told anyone what had happened, but she wanted to risk everything and tell him about her dark past, despite knowing he would reject her for it. Why wouldn't he when she had, in essence, killed her friend?
Neji called again and the temptation to answer was almost too strong. Instead, Tenten turned her phone off and hid it in a drawer by her bed. She shivered, her wet clothes finally chilling her, and stood up to change. Images of that day flashed into her mind, made even more vivid with her recent dream, and Tenten broke down all over again. She crawled into bed, pulled the blankets over her head and wept.
She stayed there, crying in broken, uncontrolled sobs for the rest of the day.
.
.
.
The bar was crowded when Tenten arrived, eyes puffy and hair a mess from her day of crying. She hadn't told Neji she was coming. Part of her hoped he wouldn't show up tonight, while another part longed for him to hold her and take away the hurt.
"Hey there, sweetheart." Kakashi smiled at Tenten as she settled into a stool by the bar. He gave her a once-over, noting her exhaustion. "You look like you could use a drink."
Tenten didn't need to say anything; he poured her a scotch and handed it to her, giving her shoulder a quick pat before taking his hand away. "Thank you, Kakashi."
He frowned in concern as she downed the drink in one hit. Tenten indicated for him to fill it again and he obliged. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, his kind eyes watching her warily.
Tenten shook her head. "No."
"Has it got something to do with Neji? I heard he was trying to contact you today. Did you speak to him?"
She winced. "No, I didn't speak to him. And no, it has nothing to do with him." Tenten didn't want to talk. She just wanted to spend the evening drowning out the painful memories that wrapped her like a vice, suffocating her. She drained the glass again and held it out for Kakashi to refill.
Kakashi raised a brow at her. "You better take it easy, sweetheart, or you'll be passed out in no time."
Good. That was what she wanted. Tenten glared at the silver-haired man and shook the glass, impatient to have it filled again. Kakashi obliged with a sigh. He stood the bottle next to her and reluctantly moved away, needing to attend to other patrons.
.
.
.
Tenten had finished three-quarters of the bottle when she heard low murmurs above her. She had her head resting against her arms on the table, the scotch glass held protectively in her hand. Kakashi had tried to cut her off earlier but Tenten had yelled at him to leave her alone.
A hand rested on her shoulder and gave it a little shake. "Tenten, wake up."
Groaning, Tenten lifted her head and peered into Neji's beautiful lavender eyes. He was frowning at her and he moved forward to take the glass from her hand. Tenten ripped her arm away from him, spilling scotch onto the bench in the process, and lifted it to her lips. She gulped the liquid down before slamming the glass back onto the table, triumphant.
"Too ssslow," she slurred, lifting her hands to squish his face. She grinned when his features mushed together between her palms.
Neji patiently extracted her hands from his face and placed them on her lap, keeping a hold on them so they didn't wander again. He leaned in close to her, his frown deepening. "What are you doing, Tenten?"
He was so close; she wanted to kiss him. Tenten puckered her lips, extending her body forward to reach his. Neji shook his head and pulled back, denying her access. Tenten glared at him. "Neji, let me kiss you."
"Answer my question, Tenten. What are you doing?"
Tenten rolled her eyes dramatically and let out a loud groan. "What does it look like, silly Neji? I'm drinking."
"Why are you drinking so much?" he pressed, hands moving to her hips to still her sudden bouncing.
"Am I not allowed to drink, Neji?" Tenten loved the sound of his name on her lips. She hummed, repeating his name three more times before he put a finger to her lips to quieten her.
He sighed, removing his hand from her mouth to rub at his temple. "Of course you're allowed to drink. But you do not usually drink to this extent. Did something happen?"
Suddenly, Tenten felt the tears prick her eyes, blurring the features of the beautiful man before her. She reached out for him with a whimper, wanting nothing more than to be wrapped in his arms. Neji's eyes widened in alarm at seeing her tears and he moved forward, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck. Tenten buried her face in his chest and let out a loud, heart-wrenching sob.
.
.
.
Neji patted her back and whispered comforting words into her hair. He sent a glare towards Kakashi, angry that he had allowed Tenten to drink so much. His heart twisted in his chest at hearing her pained sobs. Neji didn't know what caused them or what he could do to help her, so he stayed there, bending over her awkwardly as he rubbed soothing circles on her back.
After she had cried herself to sleep, Neji lifted her into his arms, cradling her softly against his chest. "Thank you for calling me, Kakashi." He said to the older man with a nod.
"Of course. I'm sorry for not stopping her sooner—it just seemed as though she needed it tonight." Kakashi threw a concerned glance towards the sleeping woman before looking at Neji once more.
"Did she… did she tell you anything?" Neji didn't want to admit it, but the thought of Tenten confiding in another man made his heart constrict painfully.
Kakashi shook his head. "No. Whatever made her so upset, she didn't want to talk about it."
Relief flooded him and he scolded himself—now was not the time to be jealous. "Thank you, Kakashi. I'm going to take her to bed. I will fix up her tab tomorrow."
Neji weaved his way through the crowded bar and up the stairs, doing his best not to jostle her too much. He placed her onto the bed and untangled her arms from around his neck. Tenten moaned in her sleep, arms reaching out blindly to find him again.
"Soon, Angel," he murmured. Despite the situation, a small smile found its way onto his lips at her actions. This is what he wanted; for Tenten to depend on him. To need him. She was so used to being independent and she rarely asked him for help, so seeing her wanting him to comfort her made him happy.
Neji moved to her feet, untying her laces and slipping off her shoes. He found a clean shirt of his and started stripping off her sweat-soaked blouse. She groaned softly and tried to roll away, not appreciating being disturbed. "You will thank me in the morning," he promised her.
Off came her bra, then her pants, before Neji slipped his large shirt over her body. He left her there, snoring softly with her face squished into a pillow, and made quick work of his bedtime routine. After he was showered, Neji grabbed a packet of aspirin and a bottle of water from the fridge and placed them on the table beside Tenten's head. Then, he slipped into bed beside her, pulling her close to him so her head was resting against his chest.
Tenten stirred, feeling the warmth of his body against hers, holding her tight. "Neji."
He stroked her hair and planted a soft kiss to the top of her head. "Hm?"
"I'm sorry." Her voice was barely a whisper and he knew she would be asleep again soon.
"There is nothing for you to be sorry for, Angel." He pulled away to search her eyes, longing to express his feelings for her by his gaze alone.
She yawned, shooting hot air into his face and closed her eyes again. "I don't deserve to be happy," she breathed, so soft that Neji wondered if he had imagined it. He stilled, the words echoing in his mind as unease filled him. What the hell did that mean?
I have a lot I want to say about this chapter, but I don't know where to start, so I won't say anything at all. I just hope that you're all still with me and that you liked it, despite the angst.
Reviews are appreciated.