Sometimes, you just have to enjoy the simple things in life.

i. a territory war in the Okabe household

"Ah..." Aoi Minako looked up from her book to see her friend and classmate. A history buff, Aoi almost always had her nose buried between a textbook about Japan's warring states era. "Reading up on the Sengoku period again, Minacchi?"

Smiling, Aoi pushed up her glasses a little. With mousy brown hair and wide eyes, she was a smart little thing and the teachers' favorite. "You bet, Okayui-chan. How are you, by the way? Have a nice weekend?"

"Mm..." Okabe Yui smiled lazily. At just above five-and-a-half feet tall, she had a few inches on Aoi. But unlike her friend, Yui was blessed with no need for vision correction, and had hair a darker shade of brown. It barely reached past her shoulders, and she had part of her bangs clipped lazily aside. "It was pretty nice... but I think mom's going crazy."

Alarmed, Aoi sat up. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. She's totally convinced grandma's out to get her."

"Sorry?"

"Like, y'know... Replace her as head of the house. That stuff. Aren't you supposed to be a Sengoku era expert?"

Aoi deadpanned. "A Sengoku era expert is one thing, an Okabe family expert is another."

Yui laughed. "You're so funny, Minacchi."

"Thanks, I try. Now what's this about your grandma trying to 'get' your mom?"

"Right. So, like," Yui continued as the rest of the class poured inside and took their seats. Their teacher would be here soon for homeroom. "Grandma keeps walking around the house and farting."

"... What?"

"Yep. Farting."

"I... Okayui-chan..."

At that moment, Iwaizumi Hajime pulled out his seat. The vice-captain of the boy's volleyball team and plenty buff to boot, he sat behind Aoi, who sat behind Yui. "Good morning," he greeted politely. He was never one to hang out with them outside of class, but they considered him a friend anyway. They also considered him the manliest student in the school, but he didn't need to hear that from them. "How are you two?"

"Oh, pretty good, Iwaizumi-san," Yui said immediately. "I was just telling Minacchi about it. Wanna hear?"

Iwaizumi shrugged. "Sure."

"That was a mistake," Aoi sighed.

"Anyway, so, like, grandma keeps walking around the house farting, yeah?"

Iwaizumi blinked. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Basically, Okayui-chan's grandma is threatening her mom by walking around the house and farting," Aoi summarized. "I think," she tacked on uncertainly.

"Oh, no, no, you're correct, Minacchi." Yui beamed, pleased that her friend had been paying attention. She began to clap. "Very good."

Iwaizumi laughed then. "Okay, Okabe-san, keep going."

"Alright. By farting everywhere, mom thinks she's trying to, like, annex her territory. It's, like, a display of dominance. Especially because grandma's farts are super stinky. Mom's farts are pretty bad, too, but she's got nothing on grandma. But mom doesn't want to give up without a fight, so she bought lots of beans so she can fight back. Now the entire house just stinks. So, yeah. That was my weekend."

"I have no words," Iwaizumi admitted honestly, unable to fight off a grin.

"Neither," chimed Aoi.

It was then the bell rang, and class began.

"Iwa-chan." Oikawa stared at his best friend, eyebrows creased in a frown. "You're... smiling."

The team were changing in the club room, and the place was buzzing with chatter.

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. "You don't have to make it sound so weird."

"But you never smile!"

"Who says, huh?! Shitty bastard..."

"Not like this." Oikawa gasped. "Are you... thinking about a girl?!"

The memory of Okabe Yui recounting her smelly weekend yesterday morning was too much for him to handle. He snorted an ugly laugh, which he tried to disguise as a cough. "Yeah," he chuckled. "I guess you could say that. But don't get any weird ideas, Shittykawa, I can see the gears in your head turning."

To Iwaizumi's horror, Oikawa began to sniffle. "Iwa-chan... Iwa-chan is growing up!"

A vein popped in his cheek as he felt the stares of their teammates needling his back. "I'll sock you one, bastard!"