A/N- Big thanks to my editor BloodDrinker/ProfoundCranium, be sure to check out their work, they do good shit
"Remind me to never, under any circumstances, EVER bring you to my house again." Shogeki was gonna have to make an actual list of shit he couldn't let her do at this point. Frankly, it was beginning to get ridiculous.
"Is this because I tried to eat your grandpa's dog?" Toga asked, walking beside him.
"No, it's because you tried to throw an onigiri at my fath- yes it's because you tried to eat my grandfather's dog!"
"I'm sorry! He was just so small and cute! I couldn't help myself!"
"Joseph is a fucking mastiff, you blind bitch, he's bigger than you are! What the hell is this 'small and cute' bullshit?!"
"I'm sorry!" She apologized again, for what had to be the hundredth time. He ignored her, pushing open the door to the dorms and giving it a quick look to check that the only people around were the students. Totsu had texted him earlier once the last if the family members had left, but it never hurt to be careful.
"Yo!" He called out into the common room, "Who's home right n-"
"Stop yelling you insolent cur!" The shrill, angry yell from Rifuto cut him off, causing the two of them to flinch in surprise.
"Kaori-chan, let's not be rude, they've been out and about all morning." The gentlemanly voice of Tesuto admonished his partner, "It's just the two of us right now, Shogeki-san. It's safe for the two of you to enter." Taking that as good enough, the two hung up their coats on the small collection of coat racks by the door and walked into the common room, where the other couple had been spending some alone time together. A few drinks and a small plate of cookies sat on the table in front of them, and one of Ainsley's old english movies was playing on the television.
Shogeki raised an eyebrow at the television, "The fuck is this, White Christmas?"
Tesuto shook his head. "Well, it's certainly not Miracle on 34th Street my friend."
"What? Why would that matter?"
"Well, I noticed that your body temperature rose a tad when it lost the class vote last night. It was the only reaction you had to any of the movies, so I assumed it was your favorite."
Shogeki growled, "That quirk of yours really doesn't have a damn off switch does it, Tes?"
"Afraid not. Still, would you care to join us for a spell? Oh hush Kaori-chan, let me spend some quality time with my friend." At the scholar's words, Rifuto crossed her arms angrily, very purposely looking away from Shogeki.
"No, sorry, I'm pretty tired fro-"
"We'd love to!" Toga interrupted her boyfriend, sitting down on the couch opposite of the other couple and pulling Shogeki down to sit next to her. She grabbed the blanket that had been thrown over the back of the couch and wrapped it around herself, snuggling into Shogeki's side. "Thank you Tesuto-kun!"
The blue haired boy laughed, turning to the eyepatched man. "So, Shogeki-san, when do you return to your internship?" Tesuto asked, pouring a cup of hot chocolate and passing it to Toga. The scholar had used his quirk- A Sight-Based Logistics and Analysis Quirk, quite a mouthful- to make sure that every ingredient in the recipe was measured and prepared to perfection. A bit overkill, one might say, but it resulted in- what Diariseki had once called- a damn good cup of chocolate.
"Hard to say." Shogeki sighed, rubbing at his damaged eye, "I've only lost my eye a week ago- I still need to learn how to properly compensate for it. I'm sure I'll be back in top form after another week or two. Thing is, Miruko took my Provisional License, so I can't legally go on patrol."
"Wait a minute." Rifuto spoke up from her place snuggled into Tesuto's side, a blanket wrapped around them, "Miruko suspended your license? I wasn't aware the pros had the authority to do that."
"She didn't, and they don't."
Toga loudly slurped up some of her hot chocolate before saying, "I don't get it."
"She took my license- Like physically took it. She's keeping it locked in her desk at the Crescent Moon agency. If I'm not carrying around that license when I call in the cops to arrest a criminal, they're gonna haul me off with them."
"I guess you could say you've been grounded!" The chipper voice of Sakana cut in, her loud laugh quickly following her joke. Shogeki groaned as the clown girl sat on the recliner nearby, pinching the bridge of his nose angrily. "So, what are we talking about?"
"Oh my fucking god, Tes, whatever underlying scheme you were planning on talking me into, please make it quick so I can get away from this hell creature." Shogeki weakly begged, gesturing towards Sakana.
Tesuto placed his mug down on the table and cleared his throat. "I had been hoping to be more subtle with my questioning, but allow me to make this quick," Tesuto began, "My family has recently been eyeing some property over in Honshu, specifically a rather lovely cottage in the forest. My secondary gift to my classmates this holiday season, separate to the gifts I have already given each of you, is to take them on a short vacation to this cottage during our one month break before we begin our third year."
"Hmm. Pass." Shogeki spoke up, quickly catching the ire of the few around him. He figured he'd clarify, "I appreciate the offer Tes, you know as much as I do that I need a proper break, but to me this just sounds like dealing with the same shit I always deal with, just in a different building. I'd rather you take everyone with you and leave me with the blonde bimbo I'm always stuck with." He ignored the slap on the shoulder he received from Toga.
Tesuto snapped his fingers, "Oh, of course, how could I forget. This offer is only for those of us who are in relationships- Think of it as more of a 'couple's retreat' than a normal vacation, if you will."
Shogeki thought on that for a second- The exclusion of a majority of his classmates suddenly made this a rather tempting offer in his mind. As he weighed his options, his eye fell upon a now-pouting Sakana.
A pouting, single, Sakana.
…
"Alright, you've got a deal." He reached out and shook Tesuto's hand, ignoring the look of disgust Rifuto was sending his way.
"Disgusting. Only willing to participate for your own gains, like some kind of mercenary." She spat at him, her arms crossed angrily.
"You know, if you're trying to take a shot at me, 'mercenary' is rather weak. You'd have more luck calling me a, I don't know," Toga leaned in and whispered something into his ear, "A sad, lonely clown girl!" The couple then burst into a fit of loud, mocking laughter, with Toga pointing a shameful finger to the rubber girl across from them.
"That's not fair! You only want to go because you know I don't have a boyfriend!" Sakana exclaimed, stamping her foot.
"Oh no, it's almost like I don't like you or something." Shogeki deadpanned, which only made her frown harder, before the clown suddenly had an idea.
Sakana's arms stretched out, one reaching into the kitchen and the other pushing through the door into the boy's dorms. She reeled them back in, dragging with them Diariseki, who was trying to hold onto the piece of gingerbread he had been eating, and Totsu, who appeared to have been on his way to take a shower if his lack of a shirt said anything. She pulled the two boys close, sandwiching herself between them, a bright smile on her face. "You guys can have or take whoever you want on that trip- I've got my two new boy toys to take care of me." She ended her claim with a catty growl and a foxy look in her eyes, causing the two boys to fall into a pair of babbling idiots, trying to snake their way out of her rubbery grasp.
"Ooooh, am I high, or do I smell Tesu-Cocoa?" Osore called out, walking into the room and lazily flopping over the back of the couch, ending up next to Toga. She gave her usual, absent minded laugh, her legs thrown over the back of the couch as she held out a hand for a cup.
Pouring her a cup, Tesuto handing it to the newcomer, saying "I was discussing with the others about a sort of 'couples retreat' Osore-san. Would you happen to be in a relationship at this time?"
"I dunno man, I slept with Ishi last night, does that count?" She responded, very carefully trying to drink her treat while upside down.
"Hmm. I don't think it does, I'm sorry."
Shogeki scoffed, "Oh c'mon man, don't be bringing Osore on this trip, that hippie sexpot is gonna wanna sleep with everyone. Between the two of us, we should be trustworthy enough to tell everyone here that you do not want the hangover that comes after you spend the night fucking her."
The stoner girl in question gave an airy laugh. "You just weren't man enough to handle me, Boss. Y'know we could always try ag-"
"Hard fuckin' pass." Shogeki said, shutting down any further discussion on the topic, "I don't think sleeping with you is worth the vivid, nightmarish hallucinations your quirk gives me." During this exchange, Toga was trying not to look too annoyed.
"You know, it is rather odd that you and Sakana-san are the only two in the class who have negative reactions to Osore-san's quirk." Tesuto mumbled, cupping his chin in his hand, "I wonder if there's something to that?"
The awkward silence that descended onto the group was enough to tell them that Tes question had kind of killed the mood of the conversation.
"Have you ever noticed that hot dogs taste 10,000% better when they're eaten at any place that isn't your home? Like, how do I get that 'Just throw it at me, man!' ballpark taste without leaving my house?" Osore said from her place on the couch, breaking through the silence that had fallen upon them.
"Oh my god, Osore, why are you here?" At this point, it was clear to everyone present that Shogeki wanted nothing more than to kill himself.
Tesuto coughed, breaking through the awkward lull in the conversation. "Thank you for that little piece of trivia, Osore-san. Um, perhaps we should go back to watching our movie, shall we?"
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"Oooh, Aki-chan, try the ham!" Toga hummed, chewing on the piece of roasted pork.
"I'd rather not." The electric student said, gazing upon a plate that was filled with an array of meats, vegetables, breads and potatoes. "Western recipes were never really a favorite in my family."
"Look man, would it really kill you to enjoy a meal for once?" Totsu asked his friend, who was staring at his plate like he was waiting for it to explode.
Shogeki poked at the slice of ham on his plate. "I don't understand why I'm being forced to eat this sl-"
"OI!" Ainsley interrupted the cyclops, jabbing a fork at him from across the table, "I'll 'ave yeh know thas me Gran's rec'pe! Dan be talkin' your shite within' freesin distance ya hoke!"
"Speak proper Japanese you Scottish fuck!" Shogeki yelled back, being held down in his seat by Totsu placing a strong hand on his shoulder, "I can't understand a word you fuckin' said!"
"Dude, relax. It's a holiday, and the food tastes great, just give it a try." Totsu tried calming him down, "Look, even Hone is enjoying himself, and that never happens. Just take a break for once, man."
"Yeah!" Toga added, using her fork to snag a piece of ham from his plate, "Here, the ham is super tasty! C'mon, say 'Aaaah'!"
Shogeki snatched the fork out of her hand, "What is with you and this fuckin' ham? All morning at my dad's place, you've been mouthing off about this fuckin' ham. You want me to eat the ham, fine, I'll eat the fuckin' ham." He roughly shoved a forkful into his mouth, hiding his mouth behind a hand so he could continue to talk without being rude. "It's just a fucking normal ham, now sto- That's a damn good ham, what the hell?." At his words, Toga began to almost glow. She brought her hands to her cheeks and began to blush wildly, a large smile on her face.
"Jesus Christ, what is with you today?" He asked, trying to figure out if he should be concerned or not.
"Wha? Yea dan kno'?" Ainsley asked him, "Toga helped as pr'pare the ham las' nigh'." The Scottish boy took a bite of the ham, humming to himself. "Did a damn good job, sae so m'self."
"Aki-chan likes my cooking…" Toga said softly, rocking side to side in her seat. He gave her the fork back and tried to ignore her soft sighs of joy. He decided to keep his mouth shut and just eat his dinner, lest it reveal that Toga had somehow touched any more of his food by proxy.
After an incredibly satisfying dinner- Not that Shogeki would ever admit it- Toga was pulled away by Hamada and, to his surprise, Rifuto. They took the blonde up to Hamada's room, giving Shogeki a chance to properly relax and do something that was actually worth his incredibly valuable time.
"Flush." Shogeki plainly said, putting his cards on the table.
"What?! Fuck you!" Hone exclaimed, throwing his cards down.
"Cry all night pussy, so long as you pay up." The electric student responded, pulling the small pile of money towards him. Chikara and Diariseki both groaned, throwing their own cards down onto the table in defeat. Tesuto took this chance to collect the cards and reshuffle the deck. Despite his love of poker, he realized that he could very easily cheat with his quirk, meaning that in his participation in the usual "Poker Night" their little group held, he would be relegated to act as the dealer. It also helped that he'd be able to catch anyone else who tried to cheat, so this set-up worked well for everyone.
As Tesuto began to deal out their next hands, Diariseki suddenly sat up a bit straighter. "Shit, almost forgot. Uh, Shogeki-" The man in question looked up from his cards, frown on his face, "I need to ask you a favor."
"I'm not modelling for you, for the last time. You've got Sakana trying to suck your dick these days, go ask her to do it."
"What? Dude, be serious for a minute, help a brother out."
"Fine, but it depends on what it is."
"Alright, it's really easy man, I just need you to sit down with my sister for like, 30 minutes and do a little interview with he-"
"Pass." Shogeki cut him off, throwing down a rather weak hand. Luckily for him, everyone else decided to fold, meaning the meager pot they'd bet for this round was all his to take.
"Aww, c'mon man!" Diariseki tried to plea.
"No. That's final."
"Look man, you'd be doing the both of us a huge favor here. She was an executive at her old publishing company but they were destroyed along with everything else in Deika City the other month. Now she needs a story to put on her resume, just do her a favor."
"I swear, what is with everyone not understanding that I'm supposed to be an underground hero?! I don't want to deal with this type of shit!"
"Yeah, you're an underground hero, but you're also a student who managed to snag an internship with Miruko, and you've fought a known member of the league of villains. Do you know how many journalists would kill to have the chance to interview you?"
"I don't care how hard their dicks get when they think about interviewing me, it's not happening." He threw his cards down, folding for their current round. "I fold, got nothin' this round."
That same sentiment was shared around the table, letting the pot grow as their bets were increased with the next round.
"C'mon man, it'd be easy, just sit down, answer a few questions, and you'd both be on your way."
"That sounds like an actual nightmare."
"Don't you want to get some good publicity for Miruko?"
"What? No," Shogeki snorted, tossing a card back to Tesuto and throwing a few more bills into the growing pot, "Why the hell would I get that harpy any good publicity? Any time any of her workers make the agency look good, she'll say something stupid during an interview that fucks the whole thing up. I swear, I really need to send like a gift basket or something to her poor, overworked secretary."
"No, no, come on! It would be super easy, dude!" Diariseki pushed, "I mean, she just wanted to ask you the usual questions, 'What inspired you to be a hero?', 'Which hero would you say you relate to the most?', you know that kind of stuff."
Shogeki made a series of groans that sounded like tired, utter nonsense, running a hand along his face before saying, "Where would we even do an interview, we can't do it here for obvious reasons, she'd have to set up the meeting at like, a coffee shop or something. What's this bitch's name again?"
"Well she's my sister, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't call her a bitch." Oh, look at Diariseki standing up for himself, that's rather admirable.
"And I'd appreciate it if you answered my god damn question." Shogeki snapped, losing his patience, as well as the current hand. Chikara gave a loud, rumbling laugh as her giant muscled arm slid the pile of bills toward her.
Diariseki grumbled at his continued loss, picking up his newest hand. "Kizuki Chitose." He answered sourly, not looking away from his cards.
Shogeki raised an eyebrow, "… Wait, why does she have a different name than you do?"
"She's my half sister, we share the same mother."
"Full house pussies!" Hone yelled out, slamming his cards on the table. The others groaned out, throwing curses as the thuggish boy as he cackled, pulling in his winnings. Another round was dealt, and another pool of cash was thrown into the center of the table, with Tesuto keeping a careful eye on everyone playing.
"…Urgh, you know what, fine, I'll do the fuckin interview." Shogeki sighed, throwing away two cards and trying to get a better hand, "But, I ain't doin this shit for free. I'm gonna need to borrow your talents."
"God damnit, what is with you people wanting to get free commissions out of me? How the hell am I supposed to make any money as an artist this way?" The blue bomber complained. His whines only grew louder as Shogeki won the next set with a three-of-a-kind, forcing them to reset the pot once again.
"Shut the fuck up, that's not what I meant." Shogeki glanced over at Tesuto, "Yo, Tes, did you ever hear back from Pockets about my costume?"
"Afraid not my friend." The scholar shook his head, "It would appear that our business department friend is being… erm, well, difficult again."
"Great," Shogeki absentmindedly rubbed at his damaged eye again, "I guess that means my suit is fucked beyond repair. Damn fire asshole, can't wait until I run into his emo ass again." He turned back to Diariseki, "There, that's the situation. I'll do this fucking interview for you and your sister, and you'll design me a new costume."
The artist nodded, throwing his cards down in defeat at their current round and pulling out a small notepad, "What are you looking for here?"
He leaned his head back. "Ah, shit, forgot to think about that. Uh, fuck it, let's go 'Traditional samurai meets modern military', how's that sound?"
"Yeah, that sounds doable." Diariseki jotted a few lines down before he put the notepad away, "I'll have a concept sketch to you around, eh, end of the week?"
"Sounds good."
"Yeah! Once more bitches, let's go!" Hone cheered, winning the game once again.
"Fuck this, I'm out." Shogeki threw his cards in, standing up from the table and stretching his legs.
"Yeah, that's right bitch, fuckin run while you're still even!" The skinny student mocked him, "Run off, boy, go and cry to that shitty little girlfriend of yours!"
"I mean, I was planning to just take a nap or something, but if you want me to go and throw myself at women like you do, I'd probably still get farther than you."
"Oh look at you, get fuckin' assigned your very own bitch and suddenly you think you're a king, huh?"
"Well, if you're looking to fill in as my own personal jester, I'd probably-" Shogeki was interrupted when he felt a tap on his shoulder, turning to see Kaisha standing behind him. After he raised an eyebrow, the studious girl held out a shaking hand, a small list held between trembling fingers. Shogeki snatched it from her, taking a quick look at what was written.
"'Whipped cream, butter, chocolate bars'. What the shit Kaisha, this is just a normal shopping list!" He turned on the shorter girl, whose big glasses were almost slipping down her nose with how hard she was trembling.
"…" She held up another piece of paper, this one also getting snatched by the cyclops.
"'Kaisha, please run to the convenience store down the street for these ingredients. They are needed in order to finish preparing the desert - Chisana'. What, that little pixie fuck couldn't float his tiny ass to the store himself? Why ya gotta bother ME about it?!" Shogeki could feel himself getting angrier with every development, but he had to deal with both his family, and Toga all day, so he felt he deserved a fuckin' break by now.
"…" Big, fat tears began to make their way down Kaisha's face, and a quick look at her posture told him that she was just about to- Yeah, he wasn't gonna finish that thought.
He sighed deeply, feeling his shoulders sag as the weight of the day weighed down upon him. "… Y'know what, fuck it, it's Christmas. TOGA!" He yelled out, making the magnetic girl beside him flinch once again, "Get your coat girl, we're running to the corner store!" He heard an excited cheer in response, leaving him to nod to the shorter girl beside him, only to realize that she had already ran off to hide away in her room.
"That fuckin' girl, second in academics my ass." He grumbled, moving towards the door to grab his boots and jacket. Toga had seemingly beat him there, standing by the door with his jacket ready for them to leave. He very quickly and roughly snatched it out of her hands, his usual "Be careful with that!" sounding out through the common room.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
The both walked out of the gas station, a strong gust of winter air hitting them and making them shiver. Shogeki was carrying the small bag of ingredients he was sent out to get, his hands shoved into his coat pockets as he tried to keep them warm. Toga was walking ahead of him, swaying her body left and right. Occasionally she'd throw a look over her shoulder, trying to catch him staring at her behind, but either he wasn't looking, or he was using his quirk to move his head super fast, because she couldn't catch him in the act.
Without a warning, Shogeki suddenly smacked himself in the face, dragging his hand across his skin, before he said, "Oh, goddamnit. Hey, uh, Toga."
She looked back at him, seeing as he had opened his jacket and was searching one of the inside pockets. "Hmm?"
He pulled something out, what looked to be a plastic bag. He held it out to her, "Here." He said, passing it off to her, "Don't say I never got you anything."
She opened the bag, pulling out a- "Oh it's so cute!" She squealed, holding out a fluffy winter hat. It was a grey color, with yellow trimmings, and two puffy baubles that hung from the sides. She pushed her face into the fabric, breathing in his scent. It was strong enough to tell her that he'd been keeping it in his jacket for at least a few days now, meaning he'd been waiting for the best time to give it to her. She looked up at him, smiling softly at him.
"What?" He said, raising an eyebrow at her staring. "You're being a bit creepier than usual, what gives?"
"Hmm. You love me." She said, pushing her face into his chest.
"The doctor told me that your new medication is a bit experimental, I'll tell him that you're experiencing delusions on our next visit."
"Don't be so grumpy!" She smacked his arm, before suddenly pushing away from him. "Ah, wait! I have to give you your present!"
"I swear to god, if you tear off your clothes and reveal that you've been wearing ribbons as underwear, I am going to m-"
"Tada~!" She cut him off by shoving a small rectangular box into his face. "Open it!"
He took hold of it, "Wait, you don't have any kind of bag with you, where were you keeping thi-"
"There's no time, hurry!" She rushed him, bouncing up and down in excitement, wrapping herself around his arm and hugging herself to him. "Open it open it open it open it op-"
"Alright! I get it!" He tried and failed to push her away, trying to open the box without dropping it. He finally managed to get it open, pulling out a long, red scarf. He held it, feeling the soft material it was made of in contrast to his own rough hands.
"Well? Well? Do you like it?" Toga asked, eager to hear his thoughts. "I know you're like an old man when it comes to traditions, and I thought, 'What's the cutest traditional thing I can get for my grumpy boyfriend?' and then I remembered that girlfriends are supposed to make their boyfriends warm red scarves! So I asked Rifuto-chan if she could help me make you a scarf!"
"Please get to the point." He said, sounding like he was trying not to cry. She glanced up at his face, but she only saw the same annoyed look he always had, so she continued with her story.
"Rifuto-chan said 'I'm not going to help you make some pathetic little ribbon for your jailer, you scum-sucking pig-sow!' and then I got upset, so I asked Tesuto-kun if he could help me, and he said something like, 'Oh scarves, oh that's so lovely! I wish I had one myself, it's getting awfully chilly outside these days!' And then suddenly, Rifuto-chan was hounding Hamada-chan to come with us to the mall for supplies!"
"Jesus Christ, these voice impressions are something." He joked, making her giggle. She looked up at him, shaking him softly.
"C'mooooon. Put it ooooooon!" She whined, "I wanna see how cute you look!"
"Well, I never look cute, so I doubt adding a fuckin' scarf is gonna change that. Second, I can't put it on, that's your job." He held it out to her, "You're supposed to wrap it around me, that's the other half of the tradition." She let go of his arm and took the scarf, standing on her tiptoes and slowly wrapping the scarf around his neck. He wouldn't look at her, instead his face was turned to the side and away from her. She could see his good eye, and she smiled wider when she saw him watching her, before he quickly looked away again.
"There! All wrapped up and so cute!" She bounced on her feet, backing up to take a look, "How is it?"
"Stop calling me cute." He pulled his phone out, trying not to look at the girl. "C'mon, we need to get back to the dorms before curfew, I don't feel like having to short out the entire security system just to get back in."
"Oh, don't worry, you could always just fly up and carry me over the wall."
"That implies I want to carry your fat ass over the w- grk!" His comment was cut off as he quickly doubled over, Toga's sharp fingers digging into his ribs.
"Say what you want, we both know that you just love to look." She sang, pulling her hand out of his ribs and grabbing onto his arm again, "Come on! I want to show the girls how cute we look!"
"Stop fucking calling me cute!" He yelled, leading her back to the school. A strong gust of cold, icy wind hit them head on, and despite his words and his jokes, Shogeki would admit that the scarf wrapped around his neck was definitely warm.
A/N- I apologize for such a long break between chapters. Between struggling to figure out what I wanted to do with this chapter, 3 different rewrites, entire scenes being cut, and me coming down with the flu the other week, this was the hardest chapter I've written so far. On the plus side, it's also my favorite chapter so far, and I hope you liked it too. Hope you have a good day.