Chapter 35

Sophie

I was learning to become a baker or least maybe an assistant. Maddie and I had a long talk about what I was going to do. I needed money if I was going to get my own place or even move on. I had barely seventy-eight dollars to my name and that was going to get me nowhere.

She already knew I was uncomfortable about going back to work at selling in the front of the store. I wanted the least contact with anyone in the MC as I could get. That's when she suggested she could teach me to bake.

And I wasn't half bad.

In the weeks since I moved to working in the back of the house, I had learned to make the oversized cookies we sold. That was now my job. I also baked the cake layers for her specialty cakes along with all of our cupcakes.

Icing them was another story. I certainly wasn't very artistic so I needed a lot of practice to get anywhere close to what she could do. I was trying, but I wasn't ready yet to have mine out front to sell.

A buzzer went off and I headed over to the convection oven to pull out my triple chocolate cookies. I moved four trays of them to a cooling rack before closing the oven door. The next batch, which was going to be snickerdoodles, should have been ready to go in, but it was taking me longer than usual to roll the round balls of dough into the cinnamon and sugar mixture.

My head was not here today.

"How are you doing over there?" Maddie called out from her side of the huge worktable.

It was just the two of us working. Jose and Eduardo were already gone. They arrived by three in the morning and were typically gone before noon.

"Good. Triple chocolate is cooling and I'm finishing up the snickerdoodles."

Maddie put down the frosting spatula and walked over by me. "That's not what I meant. I can see what you're doing. How are you doing? You seem off today."

Was it the flat of eggs I dropped on the floor? Or that I had to make the snickerdoodles cookie dough twice to get the recipe correct? Or could she see the tears that still threatened to fall?

"I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on today," I lied.

"And I think Trax…Daryl still has you mixed up in knots. It's been what a month?"

"Thirty-two days." I skipped adding the four hours and ten minutes. Damn, I was pitiful.

She smiled at me and placed a hand on my arm. "I think you need to talk to him. Work out your problems. Fix what went wrong. You're miserable without him and I bet he's the same".

The tears that had threatened to escape before started to flow. "He told me to get out and get gone, Maddie. Daryl was always the one that fought for us, but I guess I pushed him too far and he's done with me."

"Then you need to show him that you're willing to fight for you both now. It's your turn." Maddie looked at the clock. "Do you have anything in the oven?"

"Not yet, why?"

"We've got time for a cup of tea and some girl talk. Let's go to the office."

I wasn't sure I wanted to talk, but Maddie had turned into my best friend. Maybe she had an idea of what I should do. We headed to her office and within a couple of minutes, we each had a mug of hot tea in our hands.

"Do you forgive Daryl about Kat?" she asked.

I didn't want to, but I did. He didn't think I believed him but much to my own surprised I did. "Yes, I do. I did that day when we talked in his room, but he didn't give me a chance to say that. But that's not all."

Maddie blew on her hot tea before taking a sip. "I didn't realize that there was another problem. What is it?"

It was what Chrissy told me about the club. I shouldn't be telling anyone what she said, but I knew I could trust Maddie. "It's the club. They did something that has me really scared."

"What is it?"

I made the split-second decision to tell her. "You can't tell anyone this. Chrissy should never have told me as it is. But…The Road Devil's took out the other MC that ambushed them. Like wiped them off the map gone."

"Good for them. That's it though?"

"Good of them?" I asked. I felt my mouth drop open in shock. "They murdered an entire clubhouse of people and everyone that was in it! How can you say 'good for them'?"

"It was what they needed to do to protect the club. It's how they live, Soph. The police would have done nothing about the ambush since the shooters were already dead. There was no way to prove that the OK's were behind it, right?"

"I guess," answered her.

"They killed Cue and almost Daryl, not to mention all of the other guys that got hit. The only way they could protect everyone else would have been to hit the entire club. When I heard about the fire, I knew exactly what happened. Bear had to do what he did for the people he loves."

"Sophie, this town is not blind to what the Devil's are, but we also know what they do for Angel Valley. They keep drugs out of this town and away from the kids. Those Outlaw Knight's dealt drugs to whoever they could. They were bringing them into our town and I know Bear wasn't going to put up with that. The Road Devil's aren't choir boys, but they don't deal in drugs."

I hadn't taken a sip of the tea yet as I listened to Maddie. Her blind support of what the club did surprised me. I put the cup down on the table next to me. "How can you be so supportive of them? I don't get it. They're murderers."

I could see the frustration in Maddie's eyes. "It's their way of life. The police weren't going to do anything, so they had to. Do you think they enjoy killing? They're not psychopaths, just an outlaw MC. Why did them killing Jacob Gentry not bother you? He could have been easily handed over to the police, but they made it easy for you. No police report. No trial. He was dead and gone with no connection to you. Did you forget about that?"

It wasn't something I forgot but instead tried not to think about. Knowing he was gone and could never hurt me was a relief I never would have had if he was in jail. "No, I didn't."

"Can't have it both ways, Sophie. I'm going to tell you something I never told another person. That weekend I spent with Bear all those years ago, he asked about my family. I told him how my parents had been killed by a drunk driver two years previous. The guy had been arrested three times before for DUI and had his license revoked, but he still drove. He didn't care. The judge only gave him two years for vehicular manslaughter and with good behavior, he could be out in eight months. Eight fucking months for killing the two most important people in my life, Sophie! I was in culinary school when he got out. The day after he got out he was found with a broken neck and his car smashed up against a tree. One of my friends called to let me know. The police could never figure out what caused the accident, but I knew."

"What happened?" I swear I was on the edge of my seat.

"Bear. He did it for me. He held me in his big arms as I cried after I told him. That weekend with him changed me, but I learned how much he would do for the people he cared about. Whether you agree with how they exact their justice is up to you to decide, but for me, Bear got the revenge I never would have been able to get. It was only a matter of time before that man drank and killed again. Someone would never have to go through what I did because of him again."

Maddie handed me my now warm cup of tea. "I'm going back to finish the Luther's Anniversary cake, but sit here for as long as you need. Soph, think about what I said. I don't think being a vigilante is always the right way to go, but the law's hands are tied too often. Would you want there to have been a chance of Jacob getting off on a technicality or Paul Durham killing someone else's family again? Think about it, okay?"

So I did.

Maddie had the uncanny ability to make me see things through a different set of eyes. Would I want to have gone to Jacob's trial and testified against him? No, but I would have. If he had gotten off because something went wrong with the arrest or investigation, I would have been afraid for the rest of my life. I didn't have to look over my shoulder in fear thinking Jacon was watching me.

Why was I okay with that and not what they did to that rival club? Wasn't it the same thing? This was the club that killed Cue, a man I didn't know well, but I knew the club was devastated over his loss.

They also tried to kill Daryl and almost did. I suppose I didn't give as much thought to this rival club as I should have. These Outlaw Knights had wanted the Road Devils gone because they couldn't sell their drugs in RD territory. Drugs that children could have access to. Drugs that could kill people.

The Road Devils took care of their town and the surrounding area. They also looked out for anyone associated with the club. The guys jumped to help Daryl find me when I was kidnapped. It didn't matter that no one knew me, Daryl...Trax needed their help and from what I was told, they did without any hesitation.

I don't think I understood their concept of being a family until now. Their loyalty to each other was commendable. That's when I realized I envied their bond. I was part of that but threw it away.

This world of theirs may not be conventional, but I finally got it.

And I wanted it back. Along with Daryl. I needed him more than I thought was humanly possible. It was time for me to go to him. And if he turned me down, I would try again and again.

For the first time in weeks, I had a smile on my face. I was going to do my best to get Daryl back, but first I had my job to finish.

As I passed by Maddie, I gave her a hug from behind. I whispered "thank you" before going back to my Snickerdoodles. It only took another forty-five minutes before I was pulling them out of the oven. They smelled awesome.

"Hey Maddie, that kid up front told me to come back and get the club's order myself. What type of help are you hiring these days?"

I almost dropped the hot tray of cookies I was holding. I'd know that deep raspy voice anywhere. I could be in Siberia and I would know that voice was his.

I quickly slid that last tray into the cooling racks. "Hey, Daryl," I said softly.

He turned around with his eyes widened in surprise. "Sophie. Didn't realize you were still working here. Maddie has you baking now?"

"Yes, I enjoy it. She's teaching me so much." God, I was so nervous. I needed to talk to him, but I was so unsure about what to say. It was awkward, to say the least.

"Umm...Bear had me pick up the order today. Is it ready?" His stroking of the hair on his chin let me know he was as nervous as I was.

"Yes, it is. The boxes are in their usual place," I said taking a few steps toward him. "Where's Brick? Isn't this his normal job?"

I saw a hint of a smile on his face. "The kid earned his patch, so he doesn't have to do this anymore."

"Tell him congratulations for me, but if he doesn't have to pick up here anymore, why are you here?" Shit, that sounded bad, so to try to get out of the hole I was digging I added, "Not that having you here is bad or anything, but I thought this was a prospect job?"

Now it was Daryl's turn to take a few steps toward me so we were right in front of each other. "We need another prospect or two in the club. Apparently, Bear said the two we got were too busy for this and since I've done it before he wanted me to go. So here I am. I was pissed he sent me. I was. Too many memories coming here and that bastard knew it, but he ordered me to go anyway. I ain't that pissed anymore," he said looking me directly in the eyes.

Was he talking about at Bear or me?

"It's good to see you again," I told him. "You look fully recovered."

"I am and back on my bike, too. Hey, listen...shit is that the time?"

I saw he was looking at the big clock Maddie had on the wall. "Yes, it is." I didn't want him to leave, but I knew what he was thinking. He was going to be late for Church. No one was ever allowed to be late.

"Fuck, I gotta go or Bear will wipe my ass with the floor. He reached in his pocket and pulled out some money, dropping it on the table. "This is for Maddie."

Sadly, I watched him head toward where we kept the club's big weekly order and pick the boxes up. He was almost out the door when he turned back to me. "Wanna go for a ride tonight?"

I couldn't help the huge smile quickly spread across my face. "I would love to."

"Pick you up where?"

"Maddie's house. I've been staying there."

Daryl chuckled as he shook his head slightly from side to side. "Should've known. Text me her address. Six o'clock okay?"

"That's fine and Daryl?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

He flashed me one of his rare smiles and left.

I did a big happy dance when I heard the jingle of the bells on the front door. I had a date! Well, maybe not an actual date date, but he was taking me out on his bike and I know what that meant. It meant that we weren't over yet and I was thrilled.

I cleaned up my workstation as fast as I could. The money was dropped off with Tami who had been working there front. I was curious about why she sent Daryl into the back and she told me, "Maddie said to send whoever came for the order into the back to get it themselves."

My boss was still trying to play matchmaker and I loved her for it.

Daryl was due any second and I couldn't believe how nervous I was. It was totally ridiculous. I knew him and he knew me, and we knew each other as intimately as two people can. There was so much riding on it that my butterflies had turned into giant bats.

Then I heard it. That distinctive sound of a Harley approaching in the distance. "Thank God," I thought to myself as he pulled into Maddie's driveway. There was a part of me that didn't think he'd actually come, but he did.

When I had gotten out of work, I flew home and immediately hit the shower. I blew dry my hair into the soft waves I knew he liked. I went light on the make-up, but my outfit was all biker babe. That's what he needed to remember was that I was his biker babe.

His ol' lady.

My favorite skin tight worn jeans were tucked into a pair of knee-high black boots that had numerous silver buckles on them. Even though I stressed over what shirt to wear, I ended up with a simple white low cut tank. I was slipping on my black leather jacket when I heard him coming.

I quickly slid some cash and my ID into a back pocket. I took a deep breath before I opened the front door. Damn, he looked so good straddling his bike in the driveway. I quickly locked the door since Maddie wasn't home and dropped the keys into a zippered pocket in my jacket.

Daryl never took his eyes off of me, or at least I didn't think he did since he had his dark sunglasses on. I was anticipating some sort of smile as I walked over to him, but his expression didn't change. I hoped he wasn't regretting this.

I smiled nervously at him which only got me a chin lift in response.

No smile.

Not even a "Hey."

Shit.

But he was here and that was a good start. Right?

Daryl handed me my helmet and when that was securely on, I slid in behind him like I had a dozen times before. My arms wrapped around his waist and we took off…without a word.

I had my cheek pressed the warm leather of his cut as we headed out. Together with him again on his bike was nothing short of perfect. His deep passion for riding came out in how he handled the bike and road as one. I felt freedom sweep through me like I every time I sat behind him. I got why these guys road. There was nothing else like feeling the wind in your face as the miles quickly passed under you.

This ride going to end up one of two ways and I had no idea which way Daryl was headed. Was this the start of a reconciliation or was this the end of the road for us?

Daryl headed us out of town and took us down all of our favorite back roads. Even though summer had turned to early fall, the sun still stayed out to fairly late these days. We could be out for another hour or two easy before the sun even came close to setting.

I was disappointed when he pulled into a small park. The parking lot had only an older gray Toyota in it. I saw a dad throwing a large ball to his young son. Did Daryl ever want to have kids? It was something we had yet to talk about but probably should.

Daryl parked the bike at the end of the small lot. We hadn't said a word to each other the entire ride. I got the feeling he was finally ready to talk. I hated that I couldn't get a feel on him at all.

I got off the bike first and loosened my helmet. Daryl swung his jean-clad leg over the bike and hung his lid from the handlebars. He put mine there, too.

"Let's find a place to talk," he said softly as he grabbed my hand.

I wondered if he heard the frantic beating of my heart as he headed us toward an isolated picnic table. I was terrified that he wouldn't accept my apology for doubting him. Even though I had been the one to walk away first, if we were truly over I wasn't sure I'd survive it.

We sat next to each other on the top of the table, our boots resting on the worn bench below. There was a slight breeze in the air that had the leaves rustling. Unfortunately, it didn't blow away the awkwardness that surrounded us.

A minute passed.

Then two.

The longer we sat the more uncomfortable it became. This was stupid. I knew I had to say something…anything.

"I'm sorry," we both blurted out at the same time.

He looked at me and I looked back at him. I wanted to laugh with him, but Daryl looked so serious that I ended up with a nervous smile instead. When I let I grow to a full-fledged smile, I could see his broad shoulder drop as he started to relax.

"I gotta get this out while I can. You know I'm not good about opening up about shit. Okay?" he asked.

I put my hand on his arm for a moment. "Of course."

He lit a cigarette and took a long drag before he continued. "I should have told you about Kat. That was stupid of me. I wasn't trying to hide her, I just don't know why I didn't own up to it. We were good friends, but if I look back on it with my head instead of my dick, I did her wrong. I never thought I was using her, but I was. I'm fuckin' embarrassed that I did that."

"That's all on me. And…ah, fuck, I gotta admit I was with her once, but it was just fuckin' once since I met you. It was after I knew you were in town, but you had told me no. It was just that one time and I ain't touched her since. That was months ago, before she showed up that day uninvited. She kissed me and I never should have allowed it. That is also on me, but you shoulda given me a chance to explain. That you didn't trust me, hurt bad, Soph. It really did. I ain't never given you any reason to feel that way."

The whole time he talked he was looking straight ahead. I wanted him to look at me and know that I was sorry, instead he continued to smoke.

Now it was my turn. Even though he had admitted having sex with her recently, it was before we were together and I can't fault him for that. If anyone was to be blame then that would be me.

"And I was so wrong not to trust you. It looked bad to me, Daryl. It really did, but I should have given you a chance to explain. I let me past insecurities interfere with us. And I agree that you've never given me any reason to doubt you, but I did anyway. I'm ashamed that I did. You're a good, honest man and I forgot that. I'm so sorry, Daryl. This is all my fault." I was barely able to choke out the words. I was crying…again. This could have all been prevented if I simply asked him what was going on.

"We both fucked up. It wasn't just you or me," he stated. That's when he finally turned to look at me. My big bad, handsome biker had tears in his eyes too.

I slipped my hand into his and squeezed. His fingers held onto me and didn't let go.

"Can we move past this? Is that possible, Daryl?"

He took a final inhale from the cigarette before flicking into the sand around us. "Can you forgive me for being such a dick to you that day?"

"I deserved it. You've fought for us for so long and I ran at the first sign of anything wrong. I didn't trust us and I should have. I know I made a huge mistake, but I've learned from it. I need to trust you…trust us."

"We'll trust each other, cause anything is fuckin' bullshit."

Now I could laugh. "Yes, it is. You know if you hadn't come by today, I was going to go to the garage tomorrow to look for you. I couldn't let another miserable day go by. Maddie got me thinking straight on everything and I didn't want to waste any more time."

Daryl chuckled and rolled his eyes. "You won't believe who I talked to that woke my ass up?"

If I had to make a guess I would have said Bear. Somehow he and Maddie were involved in this.

"Bear?"

Daryl shook his head no. "Merle. That dumbass fuckin' brother of mine likes you. Told me I was being a stupid fuck and I would regret letting you go for the rest of my life. And he would've been right."

Merle Dixon a.k.a Sugar was one of the crassest men I had ever met. He didn't have a sensitive bone in his body or so I thought. The man that called most women "Sugar Tits" so he didn't have to remember their name, gave Daryl advice on his love life. Good advice at that.

Craziest thing I ever heard.

Guess I owe him a great big thank you.

"So, are we good again?" I asked. I had to hear it from him that we were back together.

"I am as long as you are. I can't go through this shit again."

"Yes!" I shouted startling the squirrels on the trees around us. The world was right again.

Daryl jumped off the table and held out his hand to me. When I put my hand into his, he pulled me toward him and into his strong arms. It took less than a second to feel his lips possess mine.

I had so missed this. I loved his kisses from day one. From the very first second his lips touched mine that afternoon we met he excited me like no other. I will totally admit that I was nothing but a slut for him that day. My need for him overruled everything that day and it was still that bad now.

He held me tightly to him as our mouths explored each other's for the first time in over a month. It was like we were starting over again, but without the awkwardness of new lovers. It was perfect.

I was disappointed when he broke the kiss. Then again we were in a public park and that wasn't the best place for what I hoped he had in mind.

"I love you," he whispered looking into my eyes.

I wasn't expecting that. At least not right now. I had been the one that said "I love you" all the time. Daryl didn't say it as much, but that didn't mean he hadn't felt as strongly as I had. This was big for him.

And me.

"I love you, too. Daryl. I always will." He needed my love as bad as I needed his.

"Come on let's go," he said after popping a quick kiss on my swollen lips.

"Where to?" I was hoping he was going to say the clubhouse so we could finish our reunion naked in his bed.

"It's a surprise," he said gifting me with one of his rare big smiles. "I think you're gonna like it or at least I sure as fuck hope you do."

"Ok, let's go then." Daryl wasn't one for surprises so I had no idea where this was headed.

We ran back to the bike holding hands like teenagers. Seconds later, I was wrapped around him as his bike sped back toward town.

I had no idea where we were going, but as long as we were together, I didn't care. The only place I wanted to be was by his side.

No matter what.