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Claire sat in silence at 6am the next morning on the cliff watching the sky change colors from night to day. She watched the choppy waves below topple over each other and crash into the rocks. She listened for the birds beginning to wake up and she could smell the snow fall that was bound to happen soon in the air. After the blow out with her mother last night Claire went home and got trashed with Ben, for once she didn't care about practicing. They baked cookies which Claire ate half the tray, she could care less about her weight. They danced and sung their hearts out until she crashed on her dads bed at 2am and was up at 5:30am to get here to watch this. She then heard footsteps behind slowly approaching and she knew right away who it was.
"You're here again?" Claire took a deep breath catching his scent in the air. Earth and a hint of axe body spray from last night.
"So are you, I just want to say how amazing you were last night," Quil sat slowly next to her. He watched as her legs dangled off the cliff and knew if she was to try and just jump from there he'd have to move quick to grab her.
"I'm glad someone does. My mother showed up afterwards to tell me I could have done better," Claire was so numb to the advice now that there was no feeling in her words. For years she has listened to her mother tell her to be better and do better. It was nothing new but this time it got deep under her skin.
"Fuck her. She doesn't know what she's talking about, never has," Quil knew Claire was smart enough to catch on to what he had said but she didn't comment. Quil was always hearing about Mary and how controlling she was from Maxwell. That man always wish he did more for his daughter, Quil always wish he did more for his imprint. In the end only one would get to prove themselves to her.
"Well, jokes on her. This weekend is my last performance and that's only because I owe it to the crew. Although, I'm sure my understeady would love to take my part. I quit. I'm done. I'm done starving myself and exercising for half the day and practicing the other half of the day. I'm done being so alone in life because I have to focus on dance all the time. I'm done," Claire had got all her crying out last night on the way home with Ben so she no longer felt emotions towards quitting other then a sense of freedom.
"So...then now what?" Quil asked raising his eyebrows in wonder. He knew this girl could do anything she set her mind to but the question was what she wanted to do.
"I don't know. I do know that I have to be at Emily's in two hours for breakfast and I do know I want to dive so...let's go," Claire got up and threw her hoodie to the ground along with her shoes. Quil was only in cutoff jeans so all he did was follow behind and tried not to stare at her body. He could count her ribs if he wanted and it made his stomach turn, how dare her mother do this to her. Claire cracked her neck and stretched her arms above her head quickly before taking the stance of ready to go. Quil took note of the tiny daisy tattoo on the inside of her right middle finger, he'd ask about that later.
"On the count of three. And no funny stuff understood?" Quil cringed when he noticed that he was sounding like his old self with her, the babysitter. He knew she didn't need a babysitter anymore. She needed a friend and maybe one day a lover. He could only hope that she realized that it was suppose to be him. He could only hope that when he decided to tell her that she would accept. He had been without her seventeen years and he couldn't bare anymore time.
"Shut up. One, two, three," Claire took off with Quil following behind just like yesterday but this time Claire didn't leap gracefully. She just threw herself off as far as she could manage and took in the flying feeling, the gut turning feeling as she hurtled down into the water. Quil watched where she landed again but gave her time to push herself upwards. She once again didn't. He swam over to her and pulled her upwards.
"You doubt how long I can hold my breath for," Claire said as soon as she reached surface with Quil holding her arm tightly.
"I just don't want you to die. Is that a crime?" Quil rolled his eyes as they begun swimming back towards the shore.
"Such a worrier Quil," Claire laughed but stopped as she reached the shore when a memory worked its way through her wall.
"I can too jump out of this tree!" Claire was standing on a branch about six feet off the ground. Quil could easily grab her and set her on the ground but he knew better. She was too spirited when she was around him, bold even. Mainly because she knew that no harm would come to her when he was around.
"I know you can. But you shouldn't. So I'm going to get you down now," Quil reached up to get her by her waist to get her down. Her mother would kill him if anything would happen.
"Such a worrier Quil," Claire bent her knees to fling herself into the air but luckily Quil was able to grab her just as she leapt off.
"I'm a worrier for reasons Claire. You are too spirited so one of us has to worry, right?" Quil gave a small smile as he set the child on the ground. Claire rolled her eyes and flung herself backwards until she was laying staring up at the clouds. Quil plopped down beside her and stared at her tiny face. She was already so beautiful for only being four, it made Quil fear the future.
"I'm a worrier for reasons Claire," Quil began to speak but Claire cut in and joined the last part of it. Making Quils eyes widen. "You are too spirited so one of us has to worry, right?" They both stopped and stared at each other. Quil has terror in his eyes and Claire had curiosity written in hers.
"Quil, why am I having memories of you?" Claire was confused about why all her memories of Quil that had appeared the last few days were of current Quil, not kid Quil.
"We were friends when you were a kid," Quil shrugged before starting the hike back up the hill towards the cliff to retrieve her belongings.
"No. I'm having memories of you looking like you now," Claire shook her head ringing out her hair a bit. Now that she quit dancing she couldn't wait to chop all of this off. She only kept it so long to dance but now what was the point.
"I don't know, you never saw me like this until the other day," Quil was digging a hole with her but he had to just keep lying for the time being. He wasn't sure what lies were put in her head by Mary and he wasn't sure what she actually remembered.
"No. No there is no way that can be a thing. If we were friends as children then my memories should be able to place you, right? I mean..." Claire was not convinced about his excuse and trailed behind him. Anger was bubbling to the surface now as she ran to catch up to him. She was dripping wet and goosebumps were now appearing on her skin.
"I don't know Claire. It's your memories! Why can you only remember me the way that I am?" Quil refused to look at the girl that was trying to cut him off. He just kept marching on. It was too soon to tell her, she just came back.
"You really aren't going to help me here? Fine! I need to get to Emily's but Quil this isn't over. I built this wall as a kid in my mind to block out things but sooner or later, it's gonna come down," Claire controlled her urge to yell at him and grabbed her hoodie and shoes before marching back through the woods to her house. Quil just shook his head, the fire in her still hasn't left. Quil stripped his shorts off and hid them in a bush by the cliffs for tomorrow mornings dive before phasing. He had patrol until 2pm then he would make sure to go see Claire dance again tonight. If she was quitting then he was going to soak in every moment she made doing the shows while he could.
"Wow, what's wrong with you?" Ben asked while rubbing his head on the couch, he cringed when Claire slammed the front door. A steaming cup of coffee in front of him on the coffee table and toast just popping out of the toaster.
"Quil, that's what's wrong with me! He's just infuriating," Claire slammed the coffee pot on the counter when she was done filling her mug. She took a giant sip of the black liquid letting it burn her insides on the way down.
"Oooo, boy problems already?" Ben giggled as he got up to grab his dry toast. He looked at the time before sighing knowing they both had to get ready to head to Emily's.
"Shut up. He's just...never mind. I'm going to shower," Claire rolled her eyes before taking her mug down the hall to the bathroom and starting the water. She stripped out of her clothes and got in just letting the water pelt her. She quickly scrubbed her body until it was raw before moving on to her hair. God, she could not wait to get rid of it all. Her mind kept trailing back to Quil, how the hot water reminded her of his touch. It was hot but comforting. Once she was done Ben was rushing in behind her to shower himself, he needed to get rid of the vodka smell.
Claire entered her room and found a pair of black jeans and a simple light pink sweater to wear. She pulled on a pair of light brown booties and just let her hair air dry. She grabbed her light brown jacket and her purse before walking back into the bathroom to grab her coffee mug.
"You know...I think I remember Quil hanging around when we were kids," Ben shouted overtop the shower. Claire froze just before shutting the bathroom door.
"Like kid Quil?" Claire asked before taking another drink of her coffee. Last night was the best sleep she got in a long time and she was still tired. She was counting down until Sunday night when she planned to just stay in bed a full week to catch up on years worth of sleep loss.
"No, like I only remember him being who he is now. Maybe he was an ugly child and my mind is protecting me from that horror," Ben laughed at his joke but Claire just slammed the door before leaning against the wall hyperventilating. Why couldn't anyone picture Quil as a child?