I wanted to knock this Christmas chapter out because it's turning into warmer weather where I live and want to stop writing in a snowy setting. So here we go. Enjoy. Favorite. Follow. I appreciate all the reviews. Please review. Thank you!

Claire sat in the passenger seat with her thoughts running wild while Ben sung along to the radio. Claire fliddled with her new bracelet as something to distract herself with. She was nervous to see her mother. She was nervous to see her sister and her perfect fiancé, Michael. She was dreading today especially because she drank too much last night and now felt sick. She could only hope she puked during Christmas dinner though and had an excuse to go home.

"Quil and you seem to be getting along well," Ben turned the radio down and knocked Claire out of her head. She turned to her brother and drank in his apperence for the first time of the day. His black hair was slicked back with one strand falling in his face. He wore no hint makeup, not even concealer. He wore a black button down and black slacks. He had no jewelry on, not even earrings or rings. He was trying to look normal, straight. Sarah and Michael were famous for making him feel shameful for liking boys. Claire patted his hand that was squeezing the steering wheel tight.

"Yeah, he keeps coming around," Claire shrugged it off like it was nothing but she knew something bigger was up. He was the only boy of that group who really took interest in her being back. Yes, everyone was nice and seemed happy she was back around but not like Quil. His eyes lit up everytime they saw her.

"Well, I suggest we not say anything about it to mom and deny anything if she brings him up. By the way, perfect outfit," Ben winked when he eyed her choice of clothing. Claire wore a long sleeve pale pink dress with pearl buttons going up the front with black knee high socks and white Mary Jane heels. She had a white sweater on top but brought her puffy winter coat too. Her hair fell into perfect waves that hid her daisy earrings. She looked perfect. Sarah and mother approved.

"I just need today to go as perfect and fast as possible," Claire sighed as she realized they were pulling into the lot. They both gulped and held out their pinkies.

"Brownies is the safe word," Ben looked his twin dead in the eye dreading what was about to come.

"And we get the hell out of here as soon as possible," Claire looked their fingers together. Neither one wanted to be there. They got out of the car and gathered the few gifts they had brought for them. Claire grabbed the portrait Ben had painted of Sarah and Michael when she noticed that he didn't grab it himself.

"It's beautiful and if they don't like it then just smash it on his perfect head," Claire rolled his eyes as they shut the trunk and headed up to their moms apartment. Ben knocked on the door before hearing heels approach. Sarah.

"There you two are! We started to think you got lost!" Sarah smiled tightly as she opened the door wider. Sarah wore a white pantsuits with black heels. Her black hair was pulled into a high slick ponytail. She wore simple makeup that involved red lipstick and no jewelry except for her engagement ring and studs that never left her ears. She was the look of perfection.

"Hello to you too Sarah," Claire simply said before moving around her and walking inside to the apartment. The placed smelled like beach and pine trees from the candle burning on the island in the kitchen. Their mother had a fake tree up in the living room with a perfect red and white theme.

"Oh look, my handsome son and Claire," Mary tried to force a smile when she looked at Claire but everyone could see through it. She was still mad.

"Hey mom, I'm just going to put these over here," Ben made his way to the tree where Claire followed. They both made eye contact that held I already want to go written in them. Sarah and Mary made their way back to the kitchen to empty out the Chinese containers into serving dishes. Mary didn't cook. She wasn't like Emily in many ways.

"Oh look! The double trouble are here. What's up Claire? Looking normal today. And Ben? Looking straight as you can be," Michael talked like a child when it came to them. He raised his voice and squinted with an ugly smile. They both wanted nothing more then to punch him.

"Merry Christmas to you too," the twins said it at the same time before walking away from the situation. Ben sat in a chair at the kitchen table while pulling his phone out and seeing where his latest shipment was. It was only in California still and it was suppose to go down all the way to Mexico. Claire just walked to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She sat on the edge of the bathtub and tugged at the ends of her hair. She wanted nothing more then to just rip it out in frustration.

Ding

Claire heard her phone go off in her purse. She pulled it out and saw she had a few missed texts. Emily and Sam sent her a photo of their tree with Merry Christmas. Claire wished she was there now. Claire wished Emily was her mother instead, she would have had a better life growing up. Another text was from Embry who texted Merry Christmas from the gang which she assumed was everyone from last night. Then a text from Quil which shocked her.

Merry Christmas Claire, if you need me just call.

Claire read the message a few times before putting her phone back in her purse. Quil was something different for her. He was kind. He was smart. He was funny and goofy. He was protective. He was handsome. He was keeping secrets. There was something he and everyone else wasn't telling her. She knew it involved her and him but her mind wasn't letting her remember that yet and he wasn't telling her.

"Claire?" Ben knocked on the door softly. He worried when everyone else sat down at the table to eat and Claire wasn't there. He knew she wouldn't have left without him. Their mother pretended not to care when she glared at the empty seat.

"I'm coming," Claire flushed the toilet and turned the sink on quickly to act like she was in there doing something and not just hiding. She dried her hands off and opened the door. Ben looked concerned but just gave a smile and led the way back to the kitchen table.

"So, Ben, how is the art business going?" Sarah asked when they both sat at the table. Claire already had a plate in front of her that she assumed Ben made before he came and found her. It had rice and some chicken along with an egg roll. She didn't have to pretend to eat this year because she wasn't dancing anymore so she took advantage of the food and began eating. She would run extra hard after her shift tomorrow to make her feel better.

"It's going great. I found new inspirations in La Push and I'm living for it," Ben smiles at Sarah genuinely. He loved talking about his art work, he was proud of it.

"Still think it's going to be a lifetime career though?" Michael asked while taking an egg roll out of the middle of the table and shoving it into his mouth loudly. Michael was good looking but he was as racist, sexist and as rude as they came.

"Ben has buyers all over the world. His work is amazing and people know that," Claire felt fire boiling in her veins but she told herself to calm down. They would leave soon enough.

"What about you? Sarah said you quit dancing," Michael asked while pointing the have eaten egg roll at her. She looked up from her plate and saw that Sarah looked apologetic. Sarah had a soft spot for Claire even if she wouldn't admit it or act like it. She felt bad. She watched for years. She watched the girl suffer while she did nothing. She watched her be ripped away from her dad and her weird babysitter. She watched her shine on stage and die inside. She watched her try to kill herself.

"I did but I am actually working at the local bakery now," Claire smiled as she put a big bite of rice and spicy chicken in her mouth. She felt guilty eating it but damn was it good.

"What bakery?" Mary finally asked with eyebrows raised. Claire opened her mouth to answer but Ben cut in.

"La Push has a knockoff Starbucks in town, Claire works there as a barista. She's actually really good. Any coffee drink you want she can make," Ben looked at Claire's eyes and silently told her mom can't know you work for Emily and Claire gave a nod before going back to her food. They ate dinner in silence before Mary stood up and clapped her hands announcing it was gift time. They all settled in on the stiff couches while Mary handed out the gifts. Three for everyone was the rule. Mary opened hers first and thanked Sarah and Michael for the new brand name purse. She opened up Bens and thanked him for the new oak jewelry box but when she opened up Claire's she just sat it aside. It was a pearl necklace she had been looking at for years in the jewelry store across the street.

"Our turn!" Sarah asked for all combined gifts this year so the twins tried their best. Mary gave them a new air fryer because she believed it was the best thing to cook in and the easiest. Claire gave them an already paid day for engagement photos which Sarah was over the moon about where Michael just gave a stone face. He was clearly excited about marrying her.

"Oh and this! It's from dad," Claire knew her mother was watching as she pulled out a necklace in a little baggie from her purse. It had a rose pendent on it like Sarah's middle name. Sarah smiled before blinking hard. She regretted so many things when it came to their father. Ben then handed them the painting of the day they got engaged on the Seattle needle.

"Oh, Benny, I love it. Thank you so much," Sarah got up and gave her brother a giant hug before kissing Claire's cheek. Both of them couldn't help but love Sarah as much as they hated her.

"Yeah, thanks buddy but I don't have to pay you right?" Michael meant it as a joke but all he got was Bens fake laugh back. Next was Ben. Mary got him a set of new brushes and the expensive paints that he likes. Sarah and Michael got him a gift card for new canvas from the local art shop. Claire handed him a wooden box, like one Quil had given her the night before.

"It dads ring. Q...a friend from the funeral said he left it for you," Claire caught herself about to say Quil but stopped. Ben opened the box to see a silver metal ring with Maxwell written on the inside. Ben laughed and slid it on his finger, he tried not to cry when he realized they were the same size.

"Now, Claire we had already gotten your gift by the time we found out you quit dance," Sarah sounded uncomfortable when she handed Claire the box. Claire smiled anyways and opened it. Inside was a new pair of pink pointe shoes.

"I could actually use a new pair and keep up the exercise anyways. It would do me good," Claire winked at her sister and set them aside. She knew her sister meant well. Ben handed her his gift with a smile. She opened up the gift bag to see a pair of clippers.

"I know you've been wanting to cut it off," Ben shrugged with a smile. He knew that hair was weighing a part of her down and he knew shaving it all off would give her a freedom she needed.

"You aren't seriously going to do that," Mary stared in awe at the clippers.

"Why not? I don't need it anymore," Claire answered honestly as she still had the clippers. The anger was flaring up again and she felt her hands gripping the clippers hard.

"Because...because...you are a lady and ladies need hair!" Mary stood up and dropped the gifts that were on her lap. Her cheeks were turning red and the vein between her eyebrows were sticking out.

"She's right, girls with no hair are definitely a no go," Michael shook his head while Sarah gasped and smacked his leg. Claire sat for a moment before looking right in her mothers eyes and standing up. She marched past everyone and down the hallway and into the bathroom where she locked the door. She plugged in the clippers and took one last look at herself in the mirror before closing her eyes and pressing the clippers to her hair and letting them do their work. Mary banged on the door begging her to stop. Sarah told Michael that he was out of line where Ben begged his mother to back off. Once all her hair was on the floor and the sink around her she stared at her now buzz cut in the mirror. She rolled up the clippers and unlocked the door to stare her mother dead in the eyes with a stone cold face.

"Brownies," was the only thing Claire said before she walked into the living room and gathered their belongings and headed out the door where Ben gave apologies and followed. Claire would text Sarah sorry in the car but fuck everyone else.

"It's kind of badass looking," Ben finally said when they neared home. Claire had sent Sarah a lengthy message apologizing and offering a day to get coffee without anyone else in which Sarah agreed to. Claire pulled down the mirror and stared at herself again.

"It's not too bad," Claire wasn't sure how to feel yet. She felt weightless and light. She felt free. She just wasn't sure how she looked yet. She looked like a scared little girl who just lost her cover, her safety net.

"Well, I think it looks killer and I thought mom would explode which just polished everything off," Ben tried to joke but he knew that he was now in risk of their mother cutting off his money line. He knew he would be fine without her help but it made him feel better.

"I'm going to go for a run. When I get back we'll watch Elf on repeat and get trashed," Claire told him as they headed inside. She quickly changed into sweatpants and a hoodie along with a beanie to cover her head. Once outside in the woods she took off. She felt the Chinese in her stomach start to roll and soon she was throwing up on the side of the trail.

"You okay?" Quils voice came out of nowhere and made Claire jump. She held her chest as she tried to catch her breath from puking. She nodded before leaning over again until she was emptied out.

"Much better," she announced before wiping her mouth off and walking away from the throw up spot. Quil followed as he worried what was happening. She was suppose to be at her mothers not in the woods getting sick. Why was she wearing a beanie?

"What's up with the hat?" Quil asked pointing to it like she didn't understand the question.

"What's up with only shorts?" Claire asked pointing to them like he didn't understand the question. They stood still and watched each other before Claire sighed and rolled her eyes. She took the beanie off and revealed her self given buzzcut. They stayed silent for what felt like forever before Quil smiled, grinning ear to ear. The smile met his eyes which made them sparkle just enough to make her heart melt.

"You're so beautiful," he simply whispered and meant the phrase more then ever before.