Dean blamed it on one thing and one thing only, that he wanted to know more of his brother and everything that he had gotten into and learned in the past seven years.

That being said, he could've phrased his question a hell of a lot better.

Sam was looking at him weirdly, the knife he had been sharpening had been forgotten for a moment.

"You want to know what?" he asked, finally breaking the somewhat tense silence that had fallen over them.

Dean shifted a bit uncomfortably but didn't look away, he had already said it so he wanted to know.

"You're the one who said that you've been with girls." he shot at him, defending himself. "I wanna know how many."

"Why is that important exactly?" Sam asked, putting his knife down and just staring at him. "We have a lot bigger things to be focused on here Dean."

"Yeah well, I'm not getting any better with this knife tossing thing." Dean said, case in point he arched back once more and threw the knife, flicking his wrist like Sam had told him. The side of the knife hit the tree trunk and fell to the ground. "So let's talk, its guy talk Sam, brother talk, catching up on everything we've done."

Sam let out a deep breath, glancing at the fallen knife. Slowly it rose into the air and made its way back into Sam's outstretched hand. Dean watched him move the knife with his mind, each time he did it it became less and less weird to see.

"Probably a lot less than you seem to be thinking." Sam finally told him, and Dean would never admit it but that made a knot loosened inside of his chest. "Not trying to keep track but if I put a number to it...maybe five?"

"You're not sure?" Dean asked, taking the knife back from him and trying to get into the right position again, moving his wrist up and down a few times to get used to the feeling.

Sam was quiet for a moment. "My first time, with a guy and a girl, was when I was possessed by the demon. I don't count either of them." he told him. "It wasn't...consensual, at least on my mental part."

Dean had been in the middle of throwing the knife but fumbled, choking and whirled around to face his brother. "What?" he managed to get out.

Sam shrugged. "I was...seventeen? Eighteen? When the demon possessed me." he said. "Demons don't give a damn about age and consent, the majority revel in debauchery and sin, and sex was one of it. It possessed me and it wanted sex and everything else and it did whatever it wanted to. I was awake and watching, trying to break free, but it was like...punching at a brick wall, only hurting yourself."

"Sammy." Dean whispered in a broken voice, he had no clue what to say to that, or even what to do.

Sam lifted the knife but into the air from the ground once more and took it. "After that I avoided sex for a while but eventually I kinda just...did it? I was with another hunter and we were drinking and he just leaned over and kissed me and-"

"Wait, he?" Dean injected, not sure why that was the part he was focusing on. He felt a rush of something like fire erupt in his chest, he couldn't really name it, and try as he might, he couldn't ignore it. "You mean you've been with guys? How many?"

"The five I mentioned included guys and girls." Sam said dryly, raising an eyebrow at him. "And yeah, he kissed me and we ended up having sex." he shrugged. "It was good, we didn't stay exclusive but if we met up we'd have drinks and then have sex again. Was kinda bummed out when he died on a hunt."

Dean nodded slowly, trying to wrap his mind around everything that Sam had just said in the last five minutes, especially the part when he had been possessed. Swallowing hard he crossed the distance and wrapped his arms around him tightly, just holding onto his brother.

Sam tensed for a moment before he relaxed, bringing his arms up as well and wrapping them around Dean. "Dean, I'm fine." he told him. "I can't say that I'm one hundred percent over it but I'm getting there."

"I just...I just wish..." Dean trailed off, moving to just press his forehead against Sam's shoulder and he hated how easily he could do it now. "I just wish you didn't have to go through that...or that I had been there with you."

Sam moved enough to rub at Deans back with one hand, breathing in deeply. "Kinda wish that you were with me too." he said quietly. They just held onto one another for a few more moments before Sam slowly pulled back. "Keep throwing."

Dean bit back whatever else he wanted to say, he wasn't even remotely close to finished talking about that trauma, but obediently took the knife from Sam once more, moving to get back into position again.

"You sleep with a lot of guys Sammy?" he asked, throwing the knife and moving his entire body this time. The sharp end did hit the tree but it didn't stick and he cursed at it as it fell to the ground again.

"Again Dean, five in total." Sam reminded him, leaning back against the table he had everything else on. "But if you want the demographics, three guys, two girls."

"Sounds like someone got a preference." Dean said, holding his hand out for another knife.

"More like a healthy fear of ensuring that no one gets pregnant." Sam said, rolling his eyes. "Not sure where I land but it's mainly guys. Does it matter?"

"Of course not Sammy." Dean said almost immediately, making a face at the thought of it even mattering. "I just want to know."

He wasn't even sure why he wanted to know, he could chalk it up to being the older brother and therefore protective over his little brother, wishing that he had been there to protect him and watch out for him like he should've been.

"You seeing anyone now?" the words slipped out before he could even think of stopping them.

Sam let out another breath. "There's no real dating in the hunting life." he told him. "But...I guess kinda? If we meet up it usually ends with sex."

"Guy or girl?"

"Girl." and for some reason that was a bit of a relief as well, that it was a girl currently touching Sam.

"Is it that Jo girl?" Dean asked, remembering the pictures from before.

Sam laughed at that. "No, hell no." he said, shaking his head. "We had sex once in the heat of a moment, literally because we were under a sex pollen spell from a witch, but that's it. Jo's..." he searched for the right words. "Jo's just not my type."

"So who is it, another hunter?" Dean asked, narrowing his eyes at his target on the tree, he wanted to get it right just once. "And what is your type?"

Sam hesitated. "Not really a hunter." he said slowly. "She's hard to explain." It wasn't clear if he was avoiding the second question or just didn't have an answer, Dean ignored it for now.

"Well what's her name?" he asked, shifting his body and bringing his arm back.

Sam sighed. "Ruby." he told him. "Her name's Ruby."

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