From The Ashes

The Fall Of An Inquisitor

Well I just finished this game and I gotta say it really surprised me. I was not expecting a Star Wars story this good. It's got a lot of the more morally grey Star Wars that I love in the books and games even if it does go a little too movie morality at the end. This game wasn't perfect, but it was a lot of fun and it had a lot of amazing character moments. You can probably expect some Caltrilla in the future since I started shipping them the moment she took her mask off. Also probably some stuff with Merrin since she was super interesting and I think the game really underutilized her. First though, I had to get this alternate ending off my chest because the ending we got really left a sour taste in my mouth. I was listening to Vindicated by Dashboard Confessional while writing this. I hope you like it.

Defeat.

The Second Sister was undefeated in lightsaber combat. Sure, Trilla Suduri had tasted defeat many times. Sparring sessions with older Padawans who were more than a match for her tenaciousness with just pure skill. Her Master had thrown her on her ass several times too, to teach her a lesson as it went. Of course her Master's ultimate lesson had been to never trust anyone. The Empire came for her in numbers, probably because they knew exactly where to commit themselves. She had lost then too, and the consequences had been far more than just her pride. They killed the children right in front of her, children were of no use to the Empire. Rumors reached her later that Darth Vader himself had slaughtered an entire temple's worth of children at the very beginning of the Purge. No, children were too much trouble and didn't have a guaranteed reward built into keeping them alive. Her on the other hand, young though she was, offered them a great deal of a reward as long as they succeeded in breaking her. And break her they did.

The torture was endless and her torturers seemed to revel in finding new ways to inflict untold amounts of pain on her. Once she was Second Sister, an Inquisitor with Vader's ear, she made sure that they paid dearly for what they had done. No one batted an eye when a few low ranking grunts vanished never to be seen again, the Empire was full of sadists just waiting to take their place. But the thing that pushed her over the edge more than anything else had been when they told her how they knew where to find her. Of course they didn't just assume she'd take them at their word when they told her that her former Master had betrayed her. No, they had video evidence, and taunted her with it mercilessly. Cere betrayed her, treated her like nothing more than a pawn in a negotiation, to save her own skin. Everything the Jedi stood for, everything she had been taught, thrown away just like that. The blood of those children was on Cere's hands. Her suffering was on Cere's hands. After that the Dark Side felt like a comforting hug.

She retreated into the shell of the Second Sister and her mission. Jedi after Jedi met their end at the edge of her blade. The Dark Side had made her stronger than she had ever been as a Padawan. Defeat like she had suffered many times as Trilla Suduri was unknown to the Second Sister. But, that's what Cal Kestis had been doing to her ever since he entered her life as just another target for her to hunt down and eliminate, making her feel like Trilla Suduri again. Something about him made her drop the shell, take off the helmet that shielded her from the world, even taunt him hoping to illicit a reaction rather than just go in for the kill. And so here she was, on her knees utterly defeated and at his mercy, the facade of the Second Sister looking like nothing more than a cheap gimmick. All of her failures, all of her insecurities were on full display for his perusal. It was only fitting that the backdrop for all of this be the same torture chamber where she had been broken down the first time.

Fear.

She didn't fear Cal. She respected him as an opponent sure and she had no illusions that he wouldn't kill her if he had to. But, utterly defeated and broken as she was in that moment, she knew that his honor and moral code wouldn't let him strike her down while she was helpless. Cere, well she wasn't sure if she could ever trust anything involving Cere again, but as long as Cal was there she knew that Cere wouldn't try anything. In fact, they tried to talk her into coming with them rather than justifiably killing her as the monster that she was. Cere even apologized, the sincerity of which was difficult to gauge in Trilla's mind, but at least it was something. No, the biggest fear she had when it came to them was the fear of the unknown. The fear that she didn't actually know how to be "good" anymore. Then the breathing started and she felt a fear more intense than anything since the torture chamber.

As an Inquisitor you were granted a high rank in the Empire. Civilians feared you. Grunts stood at attention whenever they saw you. Even generals tugged at their collars in discomfort whenever you entered the room. It was an exhilarating feeling, being feared like that. But ultimately you were nothing more than a broken Jedi playing at being Sith and the moment you slipped up one man would make sure you regretted every second of it. Darth Vader was the Emperor's insurance policy when it came to the Inquisitors, to make sure that they never got too independent. Any sign of insubordination and he would squash you like the insignificant bug that you were in comparison. That labored breathing, that slow gait, the dark feeling in the Force; it all served to remind you of your place, but at that point it was usually too late. It was more than too late for her.

"You have failed me Inquisitor," he said it with such finality that she had no doubt what was coming next.

Pain.

She was used to pain. Whether it was as a child at the hands of her parents, while training to become a Jedi, or strapped to an Imperial torture chair. Pain was a near constant in her life. As an Inquisitor she had been taught to use that pain as a weapon. Any injury you suffered in battle was just more emotion to draw strength from. Memories of past pain were the same. You didn't run from pain, you embraced it. The pain that ripped through her body as Vader's lightsaber cut through muscle and bone with reckless abandon was something else entirely. She felt as if her entire body had almost been cut in two, which had likely been his intention, and the searing pain everywhere the lightsaber had touched was excruciating. The blow hadn't killed her, though it was unlikely she would survive the blood loss either way, and that fact seemed to perplex Vader. Almost as an afterthought he moved to kick her off the platform. He wasn't known for leaving things to chance and Cal was now advancing on him. Despite the resolve on the young Jedi's face she knew that he would inevitably meet a similar fate.

Falling.

Falling, falling, falling. The air rushed by as she plummeted into the nothingness. The pain from her injuries was still ripping through her body at an almost constant rate and she found herself praying to whatever higher power would hear her to hit something and have it all be over with. Her mind drifted to Cal and Cere. Cere well, a part of her wanted Vader to kill her. Even after the apology and heart to heart that they had had, it hadn't been enough to erase the memory of what happened. She didn't think anything ever would. The part of her that still longed for revenge wanted her to suffer just as she had. The fact that those thoughts were still racing through her mind meant that a final embrace by the Light Side upon death was probably not forthcoming. Cal though, she hoped he got out of there. A painful death at the hands of Vader was exactly what she deserved after all she had done. He was better, better than she'd ever been if she was being honest with herself. He didn't deserve that. The force of her body hitting the platform, enough to break her back, would have overwhelmed her with pain if her body wasn't already swimming in sensation. The blow did knock her unconscious. She welcomed the inky blackness. Maybe it was finally over.

Confusion.

Logic dictates that she should have died there. A broken former Jedi, a broken former Inquisitor, a failure utterly and completely abandoned to rot on a platform in the bowels of the fortress that had made and unmade her in equal measure. She wasn't the hero of anyone's story, least of all her own. Her name did not deserve to be remembered by anyone. Cal was a hero, Cal was the one that deserved to survive and have his story be remembered for generations to come. She was nothing more than a footnote in his journey to discovering who he was. That platform was a fitting final resting place for someone as unwanted and unloved as she. Instead she found herself waking up in a medical bed on a ship she had never been on before with a strange woman looking at her inquisitively.

"You are a curious one Trilla Suduri," the woman said. "So much darkness and rage inside of you, such a lust for revenge, and yet it hasn't consumed you."

"How do you know my name," she asked confused.

"I know a lot of things," the woman said cryptically. "I was once in the same place you are."

"Somehow I doubt that," a monster like her didn't come along very often.

"You think yourself a monster," the woman said as if reading her mind. "You've done unspeakable things in your quest for revenge against those who wronged you."

"Yes," there was no point in lying especially to this woman.

"We are the same," the woman said.

"If you knew who I really was you wouldn't be so quick to say that," she countered.

"You are Trilla Suduri are you not," the woman said. "We already established that I know your name."

"Or do you think of yourself only as the Second Sister," the woman continued.

"Not," she stuttered. "Not anymore."

"Good," the woman smiled. "I would hate to have saved your life for nothing."

"Cal and Cere's emotional states both seem to be tied a significant amount to your wellbeing," the woman continued. "And even if they won't tell me why I could feel you too and I couldn't just leave someone so much like me to that fate."

"I'm Merrin by the way," she finally introduced herself.

"Your injuries were significant and Greez didn't want me to treat you at first," Merrin said standing up and checking the monitors that were hooked to the medical bed. "Cal and Cere stepped in, but I would have done it anyways, it has been too long since I've been able to heal a Sister."

"Thank you," it was all she could say.

"Rest now Trilla Suduri," Merrin said. "You are safe."

She was on the Mantis, the ship she had hunted from one end of the galaxy to the other for over a year. A pilot that didn't trust her, the Master that had betrayed her, and the former Jedi that she had sworn to kill if it was the last thing she ever did were all within walking distance of her room. And yet somehow Merrin's words rang the truest of any spoken to her in a long long time.