From The Ashes
Nar Shaddaa
So yeah. Honestly I'm not even sure what this chapter is. All I know is that I love Merrin and I love the idea of Merrin as an empath of sorts. Because honestly that makes so much sense with the little bit we get of her in the game. And I love Nar Shaddaa as a location, the perfect embodiment of everything I love about the morally grey Star Wars that exists in the books and games. So yeah, this one kind of got away from me at a certain point but I hope it's still enjoyable. I was listening to Let It Happen by Jimmy Eat World while writing this.
Nar Shaddaa was exhausting. That much Merrin was definitely sure of. So many people. So many people with bad intentions. Even the ones with good intentions still reeked of lust, greed, and selfishness of all stripes. She held onto Cal and Trilla's energies like an anchor as they made their way through the crowds and towards the cantina that was their ultimate destination. As much as she tried to ignore it she knew that Cere didn't completely trust her, it hurt when she felt that distrust radiating off of her even while she put on a friendly smile. She was an outsider and her powers didn't fit into the Jedi's standard definition of what constituted The Force. She understood being suspicious of outsiders, she had protected Dathomir from people who sought to exploit it for years. She had thought that saving Trilla's life would help smooth things over, provide them all with a chance to heal together, but somehow that had only made the distrust grow. Maybe it had been the way she used her powers to heal her, she wasn't quite sure, but it was all very confusing. If she allowed herself to become overwhelmed before they even talked to their contact she was sure it would not go over well. She just needed to keep pushing forward.
Their contact supposedly had information on a former Jedi who was now taking up with one of the many local gangs in order to play out some sort of god complex. Cere wasn't about to just take the word of a random stranger so she was being sent in to get a gauge of their intentions. Apparently distrusting her didn't extend to her powers. It made her feel like a tool more than a person, but if it helped get rid of a bad person she would do what she could. The story reminded her a lot of Taron Malicos. Everyone had the capacity for succumbing to a path of darkness given the right circumstances. But some like Taron, and this former Jedi it seemed, needed only a whiff of power before giving in completely to ego and greed. These were the ones who after they started down their path of darkness it was almost impossible to bring back. She had made the mistake of trusting Taron, trusting him over herself even while the feelings she was getting from him made her skin crawl, and she didn't want to make that mistake again. That was the part about the feelings of distrust she was getting from Cere that scared her the most. What if she was just being manipulated and used by someone for their own goals again?
"We're on the right level right," Cal said as they stopped in the middle of a thoroughfare.
"Of course," came Trilla's reply.
"You know BD-1 can pull up a 3D map of the entire area," Cal said. "Maybe he could help."
"Are you implying I don't know where we're going," Trilla said in mock offense.
"Absolutely not," Cal said sheepishly.
"Good," Trilla said satisfied. "We go left here."
Their bickering was comforting. There was no real venom to it, just the playful needling of two people who felt completely comfortable with each other. She'd never really had friends before. She'd been only a small child when her Sisters were killed and then she'd been alone with nobody but Taron and the Nightbrothers for company. Cal and Trilla though, she felt confident saying that they were her friends now. They were both so genuine with their affection, unable to hide anything when they really cared about someone. And even if things with Cere were still a question mark she took comfort in knowing that when she felt how much Cal and Trilla cared about her, and how much they cared about each other for that matter, it was real.
"That's the place," Trilla said pointing at an unassuming doorway on the other side of the walkway.
"Doesn't look particularly inviting," Cal said.
"It isn't," she tried to keep the strain out of her voice.
"Merrin," Cal said, concern lacing his voice. "You're shaking."
"We don't have to go in there if you don't want to," there was Trilla laying a comforting hand on her shoulder.
She didn't want to, the dark feelings she was getting even from this far away were nauseating. Something truly awful was happening in that place.
"I will be fine," she said instead.
"Merrin," Cal repeated her name. "Really you don't have to, I know what it's like."
"No," she said through gritted teeth; the feeling came again, stronger this time. "They need us."
With that she disappeared in a cloud of green energy.
"Dammit," Cal said as he stood staring at where Merrin had just been.
"Looks like we're going in after her," Trilla said unsheathing her lightsaber.
Before he could even respond she was on her way towards the door.
"So much for keeping a low profile," he moved to follow her before she did something stupid.
He wasn't fast enough.
"Do you know what this is," she said sitting her lightsaber down on top of the bar.
"Is that supposed to scare me," the bartender continued wiping the glass he had been as if nothing had even happened. "I've killed Jedi before."
"Well, it's a good thing I'm not a Jedi then," she said. "Now, I don't know what you're hiding here, I honestly don't care, but you're going to take me to where you're hiding it right now."
"2,000 credits to whoever kills the Jedi," the bartender shouted over her shoulder. "And free drinks for a month."
Cal looked around. Yeah that was a lot of unsavory characters drawing weapons. And it looked like their contact was among them. That was just the icing on the cake at this point really.
A sinister laugh escaped Trilla in that moment and Cal was instantly transported back to their earliest encounters.
"This is going to be fun," in an instant her lightsaber was back in her hand, ignited, and slicing through the bartender's arm.
Cal drew his own weapon with a sigh and prepared to defend himself from the coming onslaught. He hoped Merrin was faring better, wherever she was.
Cold air, dripping water, musty smell; there was no doubt in Merrin's mind that she found herself in a basement. The dark feelings that she had been feeling outside were tenfold now and she struggled to maintain herself enough not to just collapse then and there. She could also feel who she had felt faintly outside very strongly now. Whoever it was they needed her and she wasn't about to just abandon them to their fate. This place was the perfect place to trap someone, so many indistinguishable passageways that even if someone managed to escape whatever horrors were being inflicted on them it would be almost impossible for them to find the way out. If she didn't have her powers she'd be just as hopeless. She latched onto those feelings that had drawn her here in the first place and made her way through the dark hallways and narrow corridors with a purpose.
The fight was over in a matter of minutes. A bar full of unsavory individuals bent on killing them, motivated as they were, stood no chance against two trained Force users. Their contact was among the dead and Cal supposed that that was all moot at this point. He just needed to stop Trilla from killing the bartender too so that they could actually find Merrin.
"Where is it," Trilla had her lightsaber pointed at his throat. "I swear if something happens to her because you stalled me you will wish I had just killed you right now."
"Show me," the look in her eyes was feral.
"Trilla," Cal said laying a hand on her shoulder. "That's enough."
She seemed to come back to herself a little bit then. A confused and scared look around the bar at the destruction they had wreaked told him that she was mentally berating herself though.
He put his arms around her waist and pulled her in close, not caring where they were.
"I know," he whispered in her ear.
"It was self defense," he continued. "They were trying to kill us."
"I started it," her voice was even smaller than his. "I lost control."
"Maybe a little bit," he said rubbing his hands up and down her midsection. "But we all get a little bit out of control when our friends are in danger."
A whimper escaped her lips at that, but he could feel her calming down.
"Now, put the lightsaber away and let me work this guy over," he kissed the nape of her neck.
A small nod and the familiar sound of a lightsaber being deactivated was her only response.
"You two make me sick," with his one good arm the bartender threw the rag he had been cleaning the glass with right at them.
Cal caught it but his cocky smirk was wiped away in an instant as an echo washed over him.
"100 credits and I can have something brought in special for you," that was the bartender's voice. "Or if you like I can just show you our selection right now."
"Show me," a dark voice he didn't recognize.
"Right this way," the bartender said. "We keep them in the basement to avoid any unpleasantness should someone get any illusions about playing hero."
"I know where to find Merrin," he said after finally coming out of it.
The door to the basement was unassuming and grey, a stark contrast to the horrors that it contained.
"This a labyrinth," Trilla said as soon as they got into the bowels of the place. "Merrin could be anywhere down here."
"The Force will guide us," he said. "I can feel her up ahead."
Trilla stopped for a moment, closing her eyes, as if she was trying to feel what he was feeling.
"She's in pain," Trilla said before shooting off down the corridor at a brisk pace.
Figuring that warning about potential traps would be fruitless at this point he followed after her.
The scene before them when they eventually reached their destination was a dark one. It confirmed everything that he had been fearing they would find. There was a row of cells, all occupied, along one wall. The occupants of those cells were all in various states of neglect. There were bloody tables in the middle with plenty of nasty looking instruments on top of them. Several bodies, most likely previous occupants of the cells, were hung on chains throughout the room too. And of course there was Merrin, in the center of it all curled up in the fetal position shaking. Trilla was already at her side before he had even taken in the whole scene.
"Merrin, Merrin," there was no response.
"It's okay," Trilla picked her up bridal style. "You did good."
"You take care of them," she motioned to the cages. "I'm getting her out of here."
"Of course," he said.
With that they made an unceremonious exit.
He moved to the cells and made short work of their locks with the Force. Their occupants stared up at him wide-eyed. They were still scared, probably assuming he was there to continue whatever deviousness had already been perpetrated against them. He tried to make himself appear as unthreatening as possible.
"Um, hi," yeah this was awkward. "I'm Cal."
"You're safe," he continued. "If you follow me I can show you how to get out of here."
That seemed to be the wrong thing to say as they slinked back further into their prisons.
"Um right, that probably sounds like a trick," he said rubbing the back of his neck. "Well how about this, I leave now and leave you a trail to follow then you can leave when you're ready."
"And here," he threw a couple of credit chips on the floor. "That's about 1,000 credits, it's not much but it should be enough for you all to get cleaned up and book passage out of here."
"I hope your future days are better than your past ones," he said as he turned to leave. "May the force be with you."
He ignited his lightsaber, pointed it towards the ground, and prepared to make the trail for them to follow. He was more than ready to get out of this place. Even without touching anything the dark energy radiating off of everything was enough to make him lightheaded. He could only imagine what Merrin was going through.
Unfortunately, things back on the Mantis were not the reprieve he was looking for.
"You can't go gallivanting off on your own every time you think someone might need your help," Cere was directing this critique at Merrin, who still didn't look fully recovered from the ordeal.
"People did need her help," Trilla countered.
"Don't even start with me," Cere shut her down. "Charging in half cocked, starting a bar fight, leaving a trail of bodies a mile long including that of our contact."
"Should I have just left her to die then," Trilla's tone was biting. "That's what you would have done isn't it."
"You should have thought," she took a moment to collect herself. "All of you."
"They were taken from their homes; starved, tortured, and raped," Merrin spoke up. "And when a client came along looking for something a little more they were released into that maze of a basement and hunted mercilessly."
"Then, once their suffering was finally over, their bodies were hung from the ceiling so that their fellow prisoners would know what awaited them and be even easier to break down," she continued. "And I felt every ounce of their fear and pain like hammer blow after hammer blow against my mind before we even walked in the door."
"Now maybe you could have ignored that and went about your day like nothing happened," she stood up now. "You did throw your young Padawan and her even younger charges to the Empire's wolves just so you could save your own skin so maybe this would have been just another walk in the park for you."
"But I couldn't leave them," she was inches away from Cere's face at this point. "And I know that you don't trust me, even after I brought said Padawan back to you and gave you a chance to right your wrongs, but don't you dare tell me I should have left those people to their fate just so we could chase yet another former member of your godsforsaken order who decided greed and power were more attractive than justice and mercy."
"Because it seems to me like former Jedi are the ones undeserving of trust not me," and with that she turned and walked to her quarters, shutting the door forcefully.
Trilla was close behind her.
Another sigh escaped Cal at that moment.
"What a day," he said mostly to himself.
The look on Cere's face when she turned to acknowledge him was one of shock, confusion, sadness, and fear. Not a trace of anger to be found.
He needed to meditate.
I just gotta say that writing Merrin's blow up at the end there was very therapeutic for me. Like I don't hate Cere or anything, Merrin kind of does right now but that's beside the point. Just the act itself though, getting all those bottled up emotions out really felt good. And Merrin feels good getting that off her chest too so all around it was just a good time for everyone. Well except for Cere. And Cal. Probably Greez too since he most likely has no clue where all of this conflict came from and just wants to water his plants. Anyways I hope you liked it, even if things were a little bit more contentious than they are in the game.