"Tell me what's going on, I know you're avoiding me. You're upset I get it, I am sorry but we have to talk about it. I won't lose you to your own thoughts." Fitz pleads.
She is even more ashamed of her actions. He knows her better than she knows herself. Of course he knows she is hung up on his past. She quietly states "Fitz, I got really upset because of what Russell said and the few details you told me made me feel insecure. I knew how many women you have been with, but I guess I just never thought about what that meant. Then once I started thinking about it, I also started picturing you with them. These faceless women. My heart just started breaking. I know I am not them. I guess I never thought about how differently we saw sex or how we handled our feelings for one another when we didn't know. I called my mom today, she said some things that made me realize, if I don't get over it we wont make it."
Fitz's heart instantly sinks, he fears she won't get over it and wants to break things off. "Livvie, just tell me what I need to do, please. I can't lose you. If I could go back and change it I would!" He is pleading with her.
She sets her hand on his arm, "Baby, I am not ending things. I need to grow up. I have to accept your past for what it is, your past. But as much as I will hate it, I need to know whatever else there is you haven't told me. I refuse to be caught off guard like I was the other day. You're the most important person in my life, I can't have strangers knowing things about you that I don't".
As much as he doesn't want to relive it all, he will do whatever she needs. He spends the next hour telling her about his past. The ugly details he is ashamed to admit but does for her. He leaves nothing out, from his first time to his relationship with Mellie. He told her about every hook up, names of those he remembered. He didn't want her to ever be blind sided.
She sat listening intently. As sad as it all made her, she feels more at ease knowing a random person can't come in and cause them problems. Well at least use his past against them. She cant help but think that there are so many people trying to get in their way and she hates it.
Once he finishes talking he watches her, silently trying to figure out what she is thinking. "Liv?" He finally asks after prolonged silence.
She nods once "okay. Now I know. I may not like it but I can live with it."
"Livvie, none of that, not even all of it combined compares to what we have. I have told you, and I will continue to tell you every day of my life if you will let me. You. Are. The. Love. Of. My. Life." He kisses her with each word. "One day, when you're ready, I am going to marry you, we are going to have babies, two babies I think". He gives her a sweet boyish grin.
It is in this moment she has a choice to make, let his past go or let him go. She cant let him go, so she takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry for my behavior Fitz. It was immature, this is all new to me. I love you so much and I know you love me too. It may take time, and there will be times I struggle but I want to get past this. I want to let it all stay in the past."
Pulling her into his lap, he kisses her cheek. "Livvie, you have nothing to worry about. I will make sure you never doubt what we have but you can't hide from me like you have the last few days. No more running, we are in this together." He kisses her forehead.
"We are in this together, do you forgive me?" She asks quietly.
"Love allows for forgiveness Livvie."
They spend the night eating take out, just talking. After a weekend of little contact, they both feel the need to focus on each other. She tells him about her conversation with her mom and how shocked she was by it. He encourages her to continue to reaching out to her mother. After years of distance and self reliance, Olivia could definitely benefit from repairing the rift with her parents.
This makes him think of his relationship with own father. His mom passed away when he was 13. His dad, Jerry, never remarried, instead he went through a revolving door of women. He distanced himself from his father after seeing his dad with a different woman every week. His dad gave him money and essential left him to his own devices.
Now sitting here facing his own past, he seems to understand his father a little better. Jerry had been madly in love with Elizabeth, Fitz's mother. He took her death extremely hard. She had been killed in a car accident after a day with her friends. She had been on her way to pick up Fitz. For a long time Fitz blamed himself, which made it easy when his dad took a step away from him. He figured if no one was trying to take care of him, he couldn't cause them harm. He was young and naive.
Both Grant men steered clear of one another due to their pain of losing Elizabeth. Fitz couldn't forgive his father for the women he moved on to, and Jerry only saw Elizabeth when he looked at Fitz. It wasn't until this moment that he realizes he had dealt with the pain of not having Olivia, the same way his father did not having Elizabeth. Granted Olivia was here but she wasn't with him. All of This anger he's held onto towards his father begins to melt away. A new understand taking its place. He makes a vow to himself that he will attempt to repair his broken relationship with Jerry.
In their own ways, Olivia and Fitz both come to understand that this broken path of pain and heartache has led them to each other. That life happens the way it is supposed to. Without the lows there wouldn't be highs. At the ends of they day they have each other, and that is a dream come true. It wouldn't be easy, because life isn't easy but it is worth the bumps and bruises along the way. They would have to fight whatever life throws at them, but they could do it together.
AN: I promise this is the last of the big talks. Things will progress, there will be lows and there will certain be highs as well.
As always, I would like to thank those who read and those who review. I greatly appreciate all constructive criticism. The few guest reviews bashing my story, I have simply deleted. I invite those readers to look else where for stories. This is something I am doing for me, and I want it to be a positive experience. I understand my story isn't in the same league as others but its something I have invested time in. I sincerely hope that those of you who enjoy Anima Gemella (soulmates) will continue to read. If not I am happy to continue writing for myself. With that said the vast majority of reviews and messages have been motivating and kind, I thank you for those! Happy Reading friends.