Chapter 13
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March 18th 1957
Ever since the mission to Ireland SHIELD has been busy with a wide variety of cases. After discovering that electronic detonators are being used Howard has studied the technology and based on several different designs he has come up with several explanations about how to disarm them, which he has taught to other SHIELD agents.
After five days in Washington DC, dealing with political issues, Peggy is arriving back home, walking into her house.
"Mrs Carter-Stark," Jarvis, who heard the car pull up, says, walking towards her. "Why didn't you call? I would have picked you up from the airport," Jarvis tells her.
"I was fine driving myself, Mr Jarvis," Peggy tells him.
"I know, I still would have driven you," Jarvis says, as Peggy hangs up her jacket. "I am very glad you are home," Jarvis admits and there is something about his tone which makes Peggy extremely concerned.
"Mr Jarvis, what is wrong?" Peggy asks as she turns to face him.
"It's Mr Carter-Stark," Jarvis answers. "He hasn't left the lab for three days. He hasn't eaten the food I brought him, but has been drinking," Jarvis explains. "I know what he is like when he is working, when he is focused on a problem, but this isn't that," Jarvis says, and Peggy can tell he is concerned.
"Is he here? In his home lab?" Peggy asks, knowing all too well that there are a lot of possible labs that Howard could be in.
"Yes," Jarvis answers, and once he does Peggy heads straight to the lab, knowing that things must be bad if Jarvis is concerned.
As she walks into the lab about a minute later Peggy realises that Jarvis had ever reason to be concerned as not only is the lab a mess, but Howard is too.
"Howard," Peggy says, closing the door behind her.
"Peg? You're home, when did you get home?" Howard asks, clearly not completely put together.
"Just now," Peggy answers, walking towards him. "Howard, what's going on?" Peggy asks concerned.
"Nothing, I'm fine," Howard says, and he turns back to what he was doing.
"And here I thought we promised to never lie to each other," Peggy comments, as she walks towards Howard.
"I'm not…" Howard starts to say.
"Don't even try it, Howard," Peggy tells him in a stern tone of voice. "I know you better than anyone and I know when you're not okay," Peggy explains. "And Mr Jarvis knows it to. We're both concerned, what's going on, Howard?" Peggy asks concerned. "Talk to me," Peggy requests as she puts her hand on Howard's back.
"Twenty-five years ago," Howard says, as he stops what he is tinkering with, but doesn't let go of the tools he is holing. Even though Peggy has a lot of questions she knows that the best way to have them be answered is for Howard to talk to her. "March sixteenth, ninety thirty-two," Howard says, and Peggy quickly does the math to realise Howard would have been fourteen. "My Father was packing up after a day of selling fruit, and a guy with a gun wanted his money; he handed it over," Howard says, his voice breaking so Peggy squeezes his shoulder as even though Howard has never told her the specifics of how his father died, she can guess where this is going. "Maybe it wasn't enough, or Father didn't hand it over quick enough, or maybe he just wanted to hurt someone; I don't know," Howard admits. "What I do know is that my father never came home again," Howard admits, as tears roll down his cheek.
"I'm so sorry," Peggy says, hugging him tightly as she places her head on his shoulder, wanting to give him as much comfort as possible. "Howard, come upstairs. Have some shower, get some sleep," Peggy tells him. "I know it's easier, and you feel safe, locked away in the lab, but you can't do that to yourself," Peggy tells him, as she takes the tool Howard is holding out of his hand, and puts it down. "Come on, Howard," Peggy says, in a gentle voice, and to her relief Howard allows Peggy to lead him upstairs.
June 19th 1957
Since Howard told her how his father died Peggy has been able to tell that it is weighing on him, but the fact that they have been so busy with work does seem to be distracting him.
It's the middle of the day and Peggy is in her office working on paperwork when her phone rings.
"Director Carter," Peggy answers.
"Shouldn't that be Carter-Stark?" A voice which Peggy unfortunately recognizes says.
"Mr Manfredi," Peggy says, already being able to feel the headache coming on. "What do you want?" Peggy asks, deciding not to ask how he go the number as she knows he has his way, one of those ways being her husband.
"I need to talk to you. We need to meet," Manfredi informs Peggy.
"I have no interest in that; goodbye Mr Manfredi," Peggy says.
"It's about Howard," Manfredi says, causing Peggy to stop what she is doing. "And if you love him as much as I hope you do you'll meet with me, listen to what I have to say," Manfredi informs Peggy.
"Where and when?" Peggy asks, and Manfredi gives her a time and location. "I'll be there," Peggy responds, before hanging up.
After Peggy hangs up she glances at the picture of her and Howard from their wedding that she keeps on her desk and can't help but wonder what could be going on with her husband that is so bad that a mobster would call her.
Half an hour later Peggy is walking into a café where she finds Manfredi waiting for her and so she walks straight over to him.
"I'm glad you came," Manfredi says.
'I'm here for Howard," Peggy says as she sits down. "You have two minutes," Peggy informs him as she crosses her arms.
"What has Howard told you about his old man? Specifically, about how he died?" Manfredi asks, because he needs to know where to start.
"Just that he was killed in a mugging, twenty-five years ago," Peggy answers, getting the impression that there is more to the story than what she knows. "What didn't Howard tell me?" Peggy asks.
"He's the one who found his father's body," Manfredi explains. "Howard was supposed to help his father pack up that day, help him carry everything that wasn't sold, but instead he was at a garage working on a car," Manfredi explains.
"He blames himself," Peggy realises, knowing that because she knows Howard.
"Howard and his Father didn't exactly have a good relationship, honestly the guy was a bastard, but he was still Howard's father; and Howard's always blamed himself for not being there when he was supposed to be," Manfredi explains.
"The anniversary was months ago, why did you call me now?" Peggy asks curious.
"The police caught the man who did it, Howard played a part in that, but because Howard's old man was a poor Germany-Jewish immigrant they didn't ask for the death penalty," Manfredi explains, and as he does Peggy realises she never knew where Howard's family came from, and she can't help but see moments she remembers Howard and Doctor Erskine having together differently. "He's being released from Sing-Sing today and Howard's going to be waiting for him, with a gun he got from one of my men," Manfredi explains. "Howard's a good man, I know you know that, If he does this he'll never come back from it," Manfredi tells Peggy, telling Peggy as he knows that she is the only person on the planet who has a chance at stopping Howard.
"Then why the hell did you allow one of your men to give him a gun?" Peggy asks angrily, and without waiting for an answer she gets up and hurries out of the café, being able to suspect why Howard went to Manfredi's men to get a gun rather than using one of her's, or SHIELD's.
As she speeds towards Sing-Sing Peggy desperately hopes that she makes it on time as she knows Manfredi is right, that if he goes through with this Howard will never come back from it. Due to the fact that she has a car which was altered by Howard there is a phone in it, which Peggy used to call Stark Industries, and discover that Howard has already left there, which caused her to drive even faster.
Not caring how many road rules she broke Peggy finally gets to Sing-Sing and as she stops she spots Howard, waiting and so she hurries out of the car, but she approaches Howard carefully, and cautiously.
"Don't do this Howard," Peggy says, once she is standing next to him.
"How'd you know?" Howard asks as after everything he was expecting Peggy coming to him wasn't on the list.
"Manfredi called me. He told me the parts of the story that you didn't," Peggy explains.
"Joey hates you," Howard says, both he and Peggy knowing that is mutual.
"Evidently he cares about you more than he hates me," Peggy tells him. "Howard, doing this won't bring your father back, you'll just lose yourself in the process," Peggy explains to him.
"I've killed people before," Howard says, as prisoners start to get released, so he pulls the gun out of his pocket.
"Not like this you haven't," Peggy tells him. "I know you're hurting, and you blame yourself, but what happened wasn't your fault," Peggy says, even though chances are Howard won't believe her. "You cannot avenge your fathers murder by becoming a murder yourself; I know your smart enough to know that," Peggy says, as she sticks out her hand. "Give me the gun Howard, and we'll go home," Peggy asks, as while she can easily take it, and will if she needs to, she would rather Howard hand it over.
"I can't let him down again," Howard tells Peggy, becoming upset, as he sees the man who killed his father get into the long line to exit sing-sing.
"You're not," Peggy says. "Howard by not giving into the darkness your honouring him; and your Mother. You once told me that your Mother told you that you'd be a great man one day, a better man than your father could ever be, do you really want to let her down?" Peggy asks, and Howard shakes his head. "Howard I love you for who you are at your core, and this isn't you. Give me the gun, and let's go home," Peggy asks, an undertone of begging to her voice, and to her relief Howard lowers the gun, which she takes.
As soon as Howard hands over the gun he starts to cry and so Peggy hugs him and kisses his cheek.
"Let's go home," Peggy says, as they break apart and she leads Howard over to the car, planning on getting rid of the gun Howard got from Manfredi's man as soon as possible.
August 19th 1957
Two months have passed since the man who killed Howard's father was released from jail and Peggy convinced him that killing the man won't help Howard has been doing better; and Peggy hasn't told anyone what Howard almost did.
It's a Monday morning and as Peggy and Howard arrive at SHIELD they find Michael and Rose waiting outside, clearly waiting for something, and so they exchange looks as they get out of the car.
"Michael? Rose? Is everything okay?" Peggy asks concerned.
"Everything's beyond okay," Rose answers, with a smile. "Last night Michael asked me to marry him," Rose says, as she shows Peggy and Howard the ring that is on her finger.
"Congratulations," Peggy says, before hugging them both, clearly beyond thrilled for her brother.
"Congratulations," Howard says, hugging Rose and shaking Michael's home.
"Thank you," Michael says as he looks between his sister and brother in law, who are exchanging looks themselves.
"This weekend, Peggy and I are going to throw you an engagement party," Howard says.
"You don't have to do that," Rose objects, though she is touched.
"We want too," Peggy assures them.
"Okay, that would be great, thank you," Michael says.
"Howard and I have a meeting, but we'll talk details at lunch," Peggy says.
"That would be great," Rose says, with a smile, as Peggy and Howard head into SHIELD.
Five days later it is Saturday night and a rare Saturday night where Peggy and Howard don't have to work. Because of that fact the two of them have spent a couple of hours working with Jarvis and Ana to turn their back garden, by the pool, to an area for Michael and Rose's engagement party.
"Wow, this looks incredible," Michael says, as he and Rose walk into the backyard.
"I'm glad you like it," Peggy says, walking over to her brother and future sister in law.
"I love it," Rose says. "Thank you," she says, before hugging her.
"It was my pleasure," Peggy admits, as she and Rose break apart. "Everyone should start arriving soon. The bar is stocked up, so make yourselves at home," Peggy explains.
"Thank you, Peggy," Michael comments, and over the next few hours Rose and Michael's engagement is celebrated by those who they are closes too.
October 26th 1957
Ever since Rose and Michael got engaged the two of them have been going full steam ahead with planning their wedding, which seems like it is going to be quiet the event. Just like has become common for them Peggy and Howard are spending their Saturday night at SHIELD, having dinner in Peggy's office.
"How long do you think it will take them to get them functional?" Peggy asks Howard.
"Depends on how good their scientists are," Howard admits, as he flicks through a file.
"How long would it take you?" Peggy asks curious, as she looks up from what she is reading.
"Few days," Howard admits.
"Then we've got at least a week," Peggy comments. "We've got to make these days count, send a team," Peggy explains.
"Yeah," Howard confirms "I read the report on the latest nuclear tests," Howard explains.
"And? Is it as bad as I think?" Peggy asks concerned.
"Yep," Howard confirms. "Things are possibly going to get very bad, very quickly," Howard tells Peggy.
"That's my fear," Peggy admits, as Howard reaches over and takes her hand. "We're going to have to work extremely hard to stay one step ahead," Peggy comments, as she and Howard drift into silence.
February 14th 1958
Just like Peggy suspected SHIELD, not to mention all intelligence agencies have needed to work even harder over the past few months to stay ahead of other world powers. It is that need which has caused Peggy to spend all day, and evening, at SHIELD, while Howard going between SHIELD and Stark Industries.
As she has a few minutes between meetings Peggy is returning to her office. As she walks in she finds a paper bag with a note taped too it, and a bottle of whiskey on her desk. Walking over to it Peggy pulls of the note and sees Howard's familiar handwriting.
'Peg,
Hope you find this while it's still warm. I was hoping to wait for you, but I got called to Stark; something about a situation in main lab. I know it's not much, but I know how you barely have time to sit, let alone eat, so I thought I would leave you your favourite.
Happy Valentines Day,
I love you
Howard'
Once she reads the note Peggy can't help but smile and think about how even if he hides it from most of the word Howard can be incredibly sweet, which is one of the reasons why she loves him.
May 18th 1958
Since Valentine's day Peggy and Howard have celebrated their third anniversary, a day which they were actually able to have a celebration instead of being at SHIELD, and time has come for them to celebrate another special occasion.
It is a lovely Sunday and Michael is in a dressing room of a church. As he struggles with his bowtie he hears a knock on the door.
"Come in," Michael says, and he isn't at all surprised when Peggy walks in.
"Need a hand?" Peggy asks her brother as she sees what he is struggling with.
"Please," Michael requests, and Peggy walks over to her big brother.
"How are you feeling?" Peggy asks, as she starts to tie her brother's bowtie.
"Nervous, excited, thrilled," Michael admits. "After Leviathan I never thought I could fall in love," Michael admits. "I didn't think I deserved it," Michael admits.
"You do," Peggy tells him. "Michael you're a good man, and you're going to be a good husband," Peggy assures him. "I'm so happy for you, and Rose," Peggy tells him, as she is thrilled to have Rose as a sister-in-law. "Done," Peggy says, as she finishes the tie.
"Thank you, Peggy," Michael says to his sister.
"I'm so proud of the man you've become over the past few years, and Mum and Dad would be too," Peggy tells her brother.
Feeling amazed, and having no idea what to say Michael just hugs his little sister, for a few minutes. While he is sad about neither of his parents being alive to see him get married he is beyond thrilled that Peggy is there.
"Come on, it's time for you to get married," Peggy tells her brother with a smile, the two of them head out of the dressing room, and within an hour Michael and Rose are married.
September 27th 1958
Four months have passed since Michael and Rose got married and ever since they have been enjoying marital life. It is a Saturday night and Rose and Michael have invited Peggy, Howard, Ana, Jarvis, Daniel, Jack, Lian and William over to their house.
"What do you think this is about?" Daniel asks Peggy curious as usually when they all get together they are at Peggy and Howard's place.
"I'm not sure," Peggy admits, though she is interested in finding out.
"Peg and I will keep it hidden for you two. No one else will have access," Howard promises Jack, as Jack and Daniel have moved in together, so their personal files had to be changed to reflect that, and they are worried about someone who isn't as accepted as Peggy and Howard finding out.
"Thank you," Jack says sincerely as Rose and Michael walk into the room.
"Everyone," Rose says, and everyone tuns to look at her and Michael, as Peggy and Daniel walk over to Jack and Howard. "Michael and I have some news we would like to share with you," Rose says, causing Peggy and Howard to exchange looks as they wonder what it is.
"We're having a baby!" Michael says, with a huge grin on his face.
For a second after Michael's announcement Peggy and Howard both feel a jolt of pain, but then they both put smiles on their faces.
"Congratulations. I'm so happy for you," Peggy says, hurrying over to her brother and sister-in-law where she hugs them both once she is close enough.
"Thanks Peggy," Rose says, as she, Peggy and Howard break apart.
"Peggy, Howard, as well as being our child aunt and uncle Rose and I want you to be godparents as well," Michael explains.
"Of course, we'd be honoured," Peggy answers, without even needing to think about it.
"Definitely," Howard says. "I would like to propose a toast, to Michael and Rose, and their growing family," Howard says, and everyone toasts.
Over the next couple of hours, the group celebrate Rose and Michael's news together. While it is difficult for not just Peggy and Howard, but Ana and Jarvis too, the four of them do their best to focus on the their friends, and how excited they are.
A couple of hours after Michael revealed that he and Rose are expecting Peggy, Howard, Jarvis and Ana are arriving home.
"Goodnight Mr Carter-Stark, Mrs Carter-Stark," Jarvis says as they walk into the main hall.
"Goodnight Mr Jarvis, Ana,' Peggy says.
"Night Jarvis, Ana," Howard says, and while Jarvis and Ana head to their 'house' which is connected to the main hours Peggy and Howard head into the front room. Where they sit down on the couch together.
"I can't believe it, Michael and Rose are going to be parents," Peggy says, as Howard puts his arm around her, and she moves closer to him.
"I know," Howard admits. "They're going to be great parents," Howard reveals, as he has a feeling about that.
"They really are," Peggy confirms.
"We haven't talked about the implications of the serum, the side effects, since Wakanda," Howard comments.
"It's not possible for us, is it?" Peggy asks, there being no question what she is asking about.
"I don't know for sure," Howard admits. "I have a theory, that it may be possible, but extremely difficult and dependent on having very specific timing," Howard reveals. "I couldn't test my hypothesis with the technology available here, so we can't know for sure," Howard explains.
"So I guess it's never going to happen," Peggy says, a level of sadness to her voice.
"Never say never, Peg," Howard says, after kissing Peggy's head. "We've got a very long life together ahead of us," Howard reminds her.
"True," Peggy admits. "Maybe one day there will be a child that is the best of us," Peggy comments.
"That would be nice," Howard says, and the two of them drift into silence.
For a while Peggy and Howard sit together as they sadly think about what may never be. After a long while Howard, to Peggy's confusion, removes his arm from around her and gets up.
"What are you doing?" Peggy asks confused, as Howard puts a record on.
"Right now there is nothing we can do about what may never be," Howard admits, as a rather upbeat song starts to play. "But what we can do is distract ourselves from it, at least for a little while" Howard says, walking back over to Peggy. "Dance with me?" He asks, sticking out his hand for Peggy.
For a few moments Peggy hesitates before she takes Howard's hand and the two of them dance together, through more than a few songs; some upbeat, and others not.
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