"Olivia?"
"Hi Mom, I'm sorry for showing up so late. I just needed a place to breath for a minute and talk." Olivia looks at her feet.
Maya steps aside "come on in baby, now what's going on?"
Settling onto the couch in the living room, Olivia huffs "you know the talk we had about Fitz?" Her mother nods in response "well tonight we were out and a girl he used to hook up with was there. Some of her friends were talking about it in the bathroom, they didn't know I was there. Well when I left the bathroom, I saw the girl hugging him and kissing his cheek. I know he would never cheat on me, I just didn't need to see that. Especially right after I heard her friends talking about things they used to do. I got upset and left. I didn't even tell him I was leaving." She looks at her hands ashamed.
"Olivia, what did we talk about? You can not hold that boy's past against him." Maya says in a stern tone.
"I know, I'm not trying to. I didn't want him to see me upset about his past so I left. I even turned off my phone once I got into the Uber. I don't want to say something stupid and hurt him"
"Baby, you don't think you did that leaving without speaking to him? I love you but you could be the most ignorant girl. That man loves you, you've told me yourself and you just left him. He doesn't deserve that"
Olivia hangs her head. She knows her mother is right, she wishes she had summoned the same courage at the bar as she had confronting Mellie. "Can I spend the night? I just want to sleep this alcohol off and go home to Fitz in the morning. I think I would only make things worse tonight."
"Sure baby."
They walk up the stairs and Olivia goes to her old room. She hasn't been here in a very long time. She pulls out some old shorts and one of Fitz's high school basketball shirts she stole years ago. As she lays in bed, she takes in her room. Still decorated like it was when she was in high school. She notices a photo of her with Fitz from sophomore year. Both scrawny with braces, but the smiles on their faces are huge. Her heart swells just seeing his face. She makes her way to the framed photo and brings it back to bed with her. She holds it close to her heart as she drifts off to sleep.
The next morning she shares an early breakfast with her mother. They spend some time catching up, something Olivia realizes should have happened a long time ago. Maya makes a plate and wraps it in foil for Fitz, "now take this to your man. I would really like it if you both came to dinner sometime next week. I want to spend more time with you Livvie. And I of course want to get to know the man you've fallen so hard for. He's a good man Olivia, you're very lucky. Make sure he knows that."
"Thank you mom." Maya kisses Olivia's head and walks her to the door. Olivia's Uber is there to take her home. The ride is long, giving her time to prepare for what could happen when she gets home.
She walks into the apartment to find Fitz asleep on the couch. His phone is still in his hand. Guilt washes over her. She walks over to him and kisses his forehead. Fitz's eyes flutter open, once he realizes Olivia is in front of him, his eye widen and he jumps up.
"Where the hell have you been?" He yells "I have been worried sick Liv! I had no idea where you were, who you were with, if you were okay! You could have been dead in a gutter somewhere! You left a club after midnight alone! If something were to happen to you what would I do?" He is angry for more than one reason.
Olivia hangs her head and whispers "I'm sorry"
"You're sorry? That's not going to cut it Olivia. What is going on? Where were you?"
"I was at my mom's. I left last night when I saw you with Lillian. I don't think you were going to cheat on me or anything. I was in the bathroom and I heard her friends talking about how she was going to get you in her bed and that you've screwed her in a bathroom before, they wouldn't be surprised if you did it again. Then when I went looking for you, you were with her. I guess I was embarrassed that it got to me, and I didn't want to cause a scene so I left. It was immature, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was leaving and not answering your calls" a tear falls down her cheek.
"What is the point of our talk, me telling you everything about me if you're still going to run? I love you, I want to marry you but I can't do this if you're going to run every time something happens that you I don't like. We are a team but you're not acting like it. Nothing I do is ever enough for you it seems. So I need to know right here, right now. Are we going to do this and you get over my past or is this it for us? I won't do this for the rest of my life."
Olivia is fully crying at this point. She's disappointed in herself for letting him down again. "I love you Fitz. I want forever too."
"Then start acting like it!" His voice still raised. She can't blame him, she once again has let his past come between them. "I love you but I have bent over backwards to show you how committed I am to you. If you want this, I think its time you earn it" with that he walks to their room, gently closing the door behind him.
She sits on the couch, giving him a few minutes to calm down. She looks at the framed photo of them she took from her mom's. It makes her think of the past and the future. She remembers the first time she met him, the way his curl hung over his face and the way his smile was always crooked. She starts to imagine a little boy with the same smile and curl, with mocha skin. She decides to make a grand gesture to show Fitz she is all in. Grabbing her keys she leaves to prepare.
A few hours later, Olivia returns. She drives her car over the curb outside Fitz's window. She grabs the poster board she made and her Bluetooth speaker. She climbs on top of her car and connects her phone to the speaker. Turning the volume up loud she plays a song she knows he will instantly recongnize
Love I get so lost, sometimesDays pass and this emptiness fills my heartWhen I want to run awayI drive off in my carBut whichever way I goI come back to the place you are
All my instincts, they returnAnd the grand facade, so soon will burnWithout a noise, without my prideI reach out from the inside
She holds the speaker over her head. Inside Fitz hears music coming from outside, he gets up from the bed to see what is going on. He opens the window to see Olivia standing on top of her car, holding a speaker above her head.
In your eyesThe light the heatIn your eyesI am completeIn your eyesI see the doorway to a thousand churchesIn your eyesThe resolution of all the fruitless searchesIn your eyesI see the light and the heatIn your eyesOh, I want to be that completeI want to touch the light
When she sees Fitz is watching, she puts down the speaker and holds up the poster, it reads:
"Fitzgerald Grant the Third, I love you more than life itself. Please forgive me"
Fitz laughs because he knows this is her way of showing him she cares. People are looking at her from everywhere, their windows, cars and the side walk. Only Olivia would know how much he secretly loves the movie Say Anything. He closes the window and makes his way to the door.
"You're ridiculous, get your ass in here!" he laughs. Olivia quickly jumps off the car and moves it to the parking lot before rushing into the apartment.
"Fitz, I truly am sorry. I wont ever run again. I can't lose you."
He smiles and hugs her to his chest, he softly kisses her head "I love you too"
Olivia steps back "I have one more surprise." She turns her hand so he can see her wrist. On the inside of her wrist he sees the Roman numeral three tattooed for everyone to see. "I'm yours forever Fitz. I am so, so, so sorry for being so awful. I promise to work every day to show you how much I love you and what a great man you are." She teared up, praying he would accept her olive branch.
"Promise me when you're upset we talk. NO. MORE. RUNNING."
He looks into her eyes, she nods "no more running". They seal it with a kiss. "Look what I found at my moms" she points to the framed photo.
Fitz chuckles "we were babies"
"We were, I loved you even then"
"Me too Sweet Baby, me too"
AN: I wasn't going to post this yet but I upset a lot of people with the last chapter lol. This is it for Olivia's insecurities I PROMISE! Please don't hate me!