Happy Sunday!

Brace yourselves, angst is coming...

…..

Ty.

Ty was here.

Why the hell was Ty here?

Kit couldn't help it; his breath hitched at the sight of Ty in his Centurion uniform. He wasn't sure how it was possible for Ty to look so good. He was still slender, but the tight, flexible material hugged his frame, perfectly accentuating his toned shoulders and arms. A belt cinched the jacket in place around his waist in a way that made Kit's stomach turn over with the all too familiar, yet long-forgotten flutter he had grown so used to when he lived with the Blackthorns.

He was taller than Kit remembered, the uniform giving him an appearance of complete self-confidence that was at odds with the way his hands fluttered gently at his sides. His inky black hair rested lightly against the flipped up collar, curling slightly at the ends and complimenting the defined angle of his jaw line.

Kit noticed, with a surge of anxiety, that Ty's headphones were nowhere to be seen, and he found himself momentarily wondering whether Ty was forced to manage without them at the Scholomance.

Then those striking gray eyes, like cold steel, came to rest on Kit's for only a moment, and Kit was transported back in time to a dark basement, with a beautiful boy holding a dagger to his throat. But they were no longer teenagers, and Kit was still far too angry.

He slammed the door in Ty's face.

Dru came running into the entryway from the library. "Kit? Where's our pizza?"

"Not here," he snapped.

"But then...who—?" She didn't get to finish her question, because at that moment the door swung open again and Tiberius Blackthorn strode through the doors and straight past Kit, a raging look on his face. Dru sputtered, "Ty? What on earth are you doing here? It's late."

Kit noticed the expression on Ty's face shift when he saw his sister. "It seems I have been requested to help with the investigation of the dead Shadowhunters," he replied simply. "Congratulations, by the way," he added with a small smile.

The sound of his voice, low and clear, sent shivers along Kit's spine.

This is not happening, Kit thought. Kit could barely think past the roaring in his head; could barely comprehend the conversation taking place in front of him. His only real thought was that he needed to escape—to get far, far away from this. It was too much. Ty wasn't supposed to be here.

Dru caught his gaze across from him, full of concern and apprehension. Their earlier conversation replayed in his head; he could see the wheels turning in her blue-green eyes, reminding them both that he was not in any emotional headspace to deal with Ty's arrival.

Just then, the other three entered the hall—Jaime and Thais with shocked recognition on their faces and Dalton, shifting his gaze back and forth between Kit and the newcomer, confusion written all over it. Kit vaguely wondered what his face looked like at the moment. If he just looked angry, or if his expression betrayed the inner turmoil that raged like a hurricane in his head.

Kit registered somewhere in the back of his mind that Dalton had walked up to him, had gripped Kit's palm in his own. He saw Ty's eyes glance at their entwined hands for a brief moment before turning his attention back to Dru. Kit wanted to pull away, to runaway; from Dalton and Ty, but most of all, away from all the memories bubbling to the surface after almost three years of pushing them to the recesses of his mind.

Then he heard Jem's voice from somewhere in the room. "Welcome to the London Institute, Tiberius. Thank you for coming on such short notice from the Scholomance."

Kit's head was swimming. He felt like he was drowning in betrayal. Jem had invited Ty to London? Kit glared daggers at Jem, who didn't so much as glance in his direction. So much for trust.

Kit couldn't do it anymore. He turned on his heel, releasing Dalton's hand and striding swiftly from the entryway. He heard disembodied voices behind him, some calling after him, but he didn't turn back. And he didn't know or care where his feet carried him. He just needed to get away.

…..

Whatever reaction Ty had been expecting when he arrived at the London Institute, he was completely and utterly taken aback when Kit slammed the door in his face. Somehow, he was not expecting that.

It was as if he had portaled back in time. Just like that, all the hurt and loneliness he had fought so hard to escape over the last three years came crashing back down on him, and his hands began to flutter nervously at his sides. He mentally berated himself for even thinking he could do this; be here, in this place where Kit was.

I wish I'd never known you.

The words he had tried to bury deep inside himself resurfaced painfully. He almost left right then and there.

But Shadowhunters didn't run, and he was a Centurion now. It was just another mission, and being around Kit was just part of the investigation. Then it would be over, and he would return to the Scholomance.

He was mostly running on autopilot. It was late, as Dru had pointed out. He wasn't in the mood to take part in the idle chit chat and introductions. Besides, he knew everyone except the brown haired man that took Kit's hand in his own, clearly trying to offer some kind of support.

Ty noticed the shift in Kit's demeanor when Jem entered, thanking him for coming on such short notice. It was apparent then; Kit had not known he was coming. And then Kit abruptly left the hall.

It occurred to him that Kit's anger was fully justified. At least Ty had known Kit would be here. He had chosen to take on the mission regardless of their personal history. He couldn't help but think Jem a little bit cruel for doing it to Kit without warning.

Ty almost wanted to follow Kit. Almost. Instead, he asked to be assigned a room.

Dru lead him from the hall, up the stairs and into the west wing. "All of our rooms are on this end. Thais and I have these two," she gestured to her right. "They are connected by a shared bathroom."

Ty dared ask, "Which one is Kit's?"

Dru glanced sideways at him. "At the very end. On the left."

"I'll take the one across from him, if it's open."

"It is," she said slowly. "Are—are you sure, Ty?"

He wasn't. But he nodded anyway.

"We ordered pizza before you arrived. I'm sure it will be here soon, if you are hungry."

"I already ate," he lied. The truth was he just wanted to be alone.

"Okay." She opened the door to his room. "Let me know if you need anything," she paused. "Where are your belongings?"

"Catarina will portal my stuff over, I just have to send her a fire message when I'm settled."

She studied him intently for a few moments. Ty suspected Dru wanted to say something. She had a strange look on her face. And she seemed tense. He knew she was close with Kit still. The thought sent a pang through his chest.

"Ty."

He waited.

"I want you to know that I'm always glad to see you. But I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"He didn't know I was coming."

"No."

Even though he had deduced that much for himself, he needed to know; needed to hear it. Now he was at a loss for what to do about it. He was struck with the desire to talk to him, but he knew he couldn't.

"Do you want company?" she offered.

He turned to look at her—directly at her. She smiled at him, and he could see her shoulders relax under his gaze; knew that it meant a lot to her. "No, that's okay. We can talk more tomorrow. I just need to settle in."

She reached out a hand to him, allowing him the choice to make contact.

He clasped her hand in his own, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"See you in the morning, Ty."

She left his room and he took a moment to take in his surroundings; the massive four post bed across from the fireplace, the large window looking out across the city. Like all the bedrooms in the London institute, it was ridiculously ornate and a little overwhelming in its intensity.

He scrawled a fire message to Catarina Loss, shucked his uniform jacket and sat on the bed to wait. Normally he would have liked to wander to the library or the roof, but running in to Kit again….

He felt a shift in the air beside him; didn't even have to turn his head to know that Livvy had joined him on the mattress.

"Well that went well, didn't it?"

He flopped backward, running his fingers through his hair in frustrated motions. "I don't know how to be around him."

"You literally just got here. Give him some time…." she trailed off wistfully.

He huffed a breath, "Yeah, time."

It didn't take long before he dozed off, with Livvy hovering just above the mattress in a curled up ball, watching him sleep.

…..

Dru spent half an hour searching the entire institute before she located Kit in some obscure corner of a room she hadn't even known existed. By the time she found him, the pizza she had brought with her had gone cold.

"Pizza?" she offered, slumping to sit against the wall with him.

"Not hungry."

"Suit yourself. More for me then." She was trying to lighten the mood, but one look at Kit's face told her it would not work. "What do you need?" She knew it didn't pay to ask if he was alright, it was clear he was not.

He laughed sharply, "I wish I knew."

She knew that statement had a double meaning. He wished Jem had warned him Ty was coming, and he wished he knew how to handle the fact that Ty was there. And in the bedroom across from his, not that she was about to tell him that.

"For what it's worth, Jem should not have done that to you. But you also can't hide from this."

He glanced up at her then, his blue eyes full of some emotion that she couldn't quite place. "I don't know how to be around him, Dru. Not after…." he trailed off.

"What aren't you telling me?" she dared to push.

He looked tortured. She could see the options warring in his mind, like he wanted to tell her but some invisible force held him back.

"Dalton is worried about you…" she said instead. "He asked me what happened. I told him it wasn't my place to tell. But that means you're going to have to talk about this, Kit. It's not something that will just go away."

"I know."

Silence fell between them again for a few minutes. She thought back to her earlier conversation with Kit; thought about what he said about falling into that nothing category. She didn't think it was true. She knew Kit, and she knew her brother, mostly. Ty had cared about Kit more than he openly cared about most people. And Kit had followed Ty around like a shadow. But it was clear that they both hurt each other, and now they had a chance to reconcile. She prayed that they would.

"I think you need a distraction."

He nodded, "What did you have in mind?"

"How about that horror movie you got for me?"

His eyes lit up. "That sounds like the best kind of distraction."

…..…..

Kit returned to his bedroom sometime near dawn, having stayed up most of the night with Dru. They had watched the movie he picked out for her: An American Werewolf in London and it was every bit as cringeworthy as he expected it to be. But it did its job for the time being; distracted him from the onslaught of his emotions, made him laugh, made him forget about the black haired boy now residing in the institute.

But now he was back in his own room. He was exhausted, yet sleep eluded him. He had been able to deal with his fallout with Ty as long as he could pretend that Ty was happy. As long as he didn't have to face him again or confront the past.

No matter how much he willed the thoughts away though, all those unbidden words came tumbling back to the forefront of his mind.

I love you, Ty. I love you.

I wish I'd never known you.

Fuck.

He wished he could take it all back; wished he'd never said those damning words.

If only it were that simple. It wasn't though; he was far angrier than he thought he was. He supposed suppressing those words and feelings for so long, convincing himself Ty was happy without him, had been the opposite of helpful. He knew he hadn't actually coped with any of it. The bad choices, his stupid confession, the rejection, the words he didn't and could never actually mean.

He was a fucking idiot.

And Ty could go fuck himself.

Kit gave up on sleep when the first rays of light shone through his window. He slipped on his training gear and opened his door to the hallway.

And froze.

The door across the hall from him had opened at the same time. Grey eyes locked on his for one brief second before glancing away and down at—

"What the hell is that?" Kit asked incredulously.

Beside Ty was an enormouscat, with equally enormous claws that could rip him to shreds in an instant, and gleaming teeth that peaked out from its mouth. Its golden eyes bored into him unsettlingly, like it was considering whether or not to make a meal out of him.

"A Carpathian Lynx," Ty responded matter of factly.

"A what?"

An annoyed look crossed Ty's face. "A Carpath—"

"No, no. I fucking heard you the first time. Why is it here?"

"She's my pet. Her name in Shadow."

"Your pet. Right." Kit scowled, then walked away, muttering to himself, "Fucking unbelievable."

Just what he needed, a carnivorous animal that would likely tear out his throat in the middle of the night for a snack.

And why the hell had Ty chosen the room directly across from him? Was he trying to torture Kit?

He was still muttering angrily to himself when he entered the training room. It was still too early for anyone else to be awake, other than Ty apparently, so he could let off some steam in peace. He grabbed some throwing knives from the table, took aim at various targets around the room, hitting each of his marks perfectly. Leaving them, he picked up a bow and sheath of arrows, slinging them over his back and notching an arrow.

He wasn't nearly as good with a bow as he was with his sword or daggers, but he wasn't abismal either. He flipped a lever on the far side of the wall, turning to ready himself for the targets. They were set on a randomized timer, activated when the lever was pulled. It was very useful technology for training.

A target came flying out at Kit from his right. He loosed his first arrow, then another, and another, until the targets stopped coming from left, right and above and he was sweating.

"Impressive," said a voice from the doorway. He ignored it, focusing on removing the arrows from where they were each lodged around the room. "We haven't trained together in awhile."

Kit turned to see Jem picking up two short swords. Kit removed his bow and arrows and caught the blade Jem tossed to him. Kit remained silent as they took their places in the center of the floor where a large image of the rune for Angelic Power decorated the tiles. Kit squared off across from Jem, ready to parry and dodge blows. He couldn't avoid talking forever, but he sure would make Jem suffer.

"Kit," Jem began, but before he could even finish, Kit unleashed himself. Blades clashed and clanged, filling the air with the sharp echoing sound of metal on metal. Kit dodged the arc of Jem's blade as it slashed through the air, spinning out and away from the other man.

Kit rushed at him.

He had hoped training would rid him of some of his angry energy, but so far it wasn't working. He felt pressure building underneath the surface of his skin; knew what was coming. There was no way he was stopping it now. He knocked Jem off his feet with a swipe of his boot, and rested the tip of his sword victoriously on Jem's throat, letting his anger and betrayal manifest itself in his stupid, uncontrollable faerie powers.

Shock dawned on Jem's face, and he knew it was reflected on his own.

"Your sword is glowing," Jem stared in fascination. "You've never done that before."

Kit pulled the sword back and walked to the weapons rack, replacing it on its perch. It ceased glowing the moment he released it.

He took a few deep, grounding breaths, willing the simmering magic, now balled up in the palm of his hands, to dissipate. After a few moments, he felt it recede back into himself, like a force settling in the center of his chest. At the moment, he didn't care what it meant that he had transferred his magic into another object. All that mattered was that some of his rage had finally eased.

He heard Jem get up from from the floor; knew he could have walked out of the room, refusing to talk to Jem like an adult. But he remained in place, willing himself to calm down.

"You should have told me."

"I know," was all Jem said as he placed his own sword back upon its rack.

"Why?"

"We needed a Centurion."

"You know what I meant, Jem. Why him? Why bring Ty here?"

Jem sighed, placing a gentle hand on Kit's shoulder, turning him around to face him. "For the same reason you keep that copy of Sherlock Holmes and that sketch of Ty in your safe." Kit felt hot tears form in the back of his throat. Of course Jem knew about that.

Jem pulled him into a hug, which Kit did not return at first. But the rein on his emotions was wearing very thin and he soon found himself crying into Jem's shoulder.

"Kit," he rubbed soothing circles over Kit's back. "Do not let the past define who you are and who you want to be. Life is too short, especially for Shadowhunters. It's time that you reconcile your past mistakes. And Ty's. Before it's too late."

"It already is too late, Jem."

"Is it? I wouldn't be so sure."

…...

Ty spent the majority of his first day at the London Institute avoiding as much social interaction as he could. Kit had sent Dru to deliver the case files to him, much to his annoyance. They were adults. And Kit couldn't even deliver them himself.

If Kit had deigned to speak to him, he would have informed him that he had more knowledge pertinent to the case.

Ty had tucked himself away in a corner of the library with Shadow curled up next to him, purring steadily against his side. The low thrum of vibration and the warmth from her body were soothing, and he toyed absentmindedly with her spotted fur.

He thought back to the day Livvy had found the dying kitten and rushed to wake him from his room at the Scholomance. It was six months after Kit left Los Angeles, and it was the first time he had genuinely smiled again.

He had nursed the kitten back to health in secret for months, until Catarina caught him sneaking out at night to feed it. He had expected her to be angry with him; to tell him that the lynx belonged in the wild. But she had offered to help him, even went so far as to cast a powerful glamour over it to make it appear like a regular domestic house cat. He was allowed to keep her in his room after that.

He'd had Catarina remove the glamour upon sending her to London. He wasn't concerned with being kicked out of the institute, so he figured the glamour would have been pointless. Besides, Shadow rarely left his side, like his own personal guardian, but she also knew exactly when to make herself scarce.

Ty organized the files before him. He found himself wanting to present Kit the information he had gathered, like old times. He resisted that urge. This wasn't like old times, and they weren't Sherlock and Watson anymore. They never would be. As always, thinking of it made his heart ache for the easy friendship he had once found—and then lost, in Kit.

He heard Dru calling for him then and he alerted her to his presence in the farthest corner.

She rounded a set of books shelves, clearly in a rush. "Hey, the Silent Brothers are here. Were having a meeting in the dining hall."

"Give me a moment."

Dru nodded and waited patiently for him to shuffle together the documents laid out in front of him. She watched him with interest as he scratched Shadow gently behind the ears and whispered to her that he wouldn't be gone long. She stayed put when he got up, lifting her head momentarily to look at him, then putting her head back down on her enormous paws.

They walked together in silence, Dru shaking her head slightly. "You are amazing, you know that, right?"

"Why do you say that?"

"Only you could befriend a lynx. Not exactly a normal household pet."

He considered that for a moment. "I'm not a normal person." He didn't mean it in a self deprecating way, it was merely an observation he had made and accepted about himself long ago. It was neither a good or a bad thing, and sometimes it was both.

They entered the dining hall to find everyone seated at the table already with the two Silent Brothers, Shadrach and Enoch, standing at the head. Ty took a seat as far from Kit as possible, noting that Kit didn't even turn to look at him. The brown haired man, who he'd since learned was Dalton, sat next to Kit again. Ty noticed that Dalton kept glancing curiously between Kit and Ty.

Interesting, Ty thought. Not for the first time, he found himself wondering what his relationship was to Kit. Not that it mattered.

Kit began addressing everyone assembled in the room, and for the first time, Ty detected a faint British accent in his pronunciation of certain vowels. He found that the slight intonations seemed natural, and it was rather pleasant to listen to. "Brother Shadrach and Brother Enoch have concluded their part of the investigation into the murder of Tristan Delacroix, and have further information regarding the heist that Jaime, Dru and Thais looked into the other night."

Ty's interest was piqued further. He made a mental note to cross reference the two investigations, in case of discovering a connection between the heist and the murders.

Brother Enoch's voice manifested in his head suddenly and unpleasantly.

In regards to the removal of the runes of Clairvoyant Sight and Angelic Power, it has been determined that they were removed ante-mortem by use of a dagger, resulting in the severe blood loss. However, blood loss was not the cause of death. This Shadowhunter was poisoned with Hemlock.

Ty let that sink in for a moment, mentally cross-referencing his notes.

"The murder in Rio was the same," Thais responded, echoing his thoughts. "This is hardly enough to go off of though."

"There have been three other murders," Ty volunteered. "Occurring over the last six months." He avoided Kit's gaze, though registered that he whipped his blond head in his direction when he spoke. "None of them were poisoned, however, which leads me to believe that either these are two different murderers, or the murderer changed his methods to remain undetected."

In total, it made five murders in five different cities thus far; Rio de Janeiro, Madrid, Rome, Mumbai, and now London.

"Okay," Kit breathed. "We know that the two most recent victims were academy ascendants. What about the first three?"

"Also ascendants," Ty confirmed. "Though what's even more interesting perhaps, is that none of the bodies were found at their home institute. The Rio victim went missing from Buenos Aires, and Tristan was from the Paris Institute. And all five victims went missing two days before turning up dead at another institute."

Dru piped up, "Why though? And who would be targeting them?"

"I guess that's what we need to find out."

"Onto other business, then. Brother Shadrach, were you able to get any information from the vampire prisoner?"

Only his name. Damian Youngblood. He's a fairly young vampire, but already quite powerful. He has not given up the name of whoever was behind the heist. As for the ring you found, it appears that we were given a fake. Jaime Rosales, would you care to explain why you handed over the wrong ring when we requested it from you?

"Ummmm," Jaime began. "You see—"

"I told him I wanted to see it first, Brother Shadrach . My apologies for misleading you. As it is, I haven't even had a chance to take a look with everything else that has happened."

Ty suspected that Kit was covering for Jaime. Though it offered an opportunity for Ty to make use of his Centurion training. "If I may, Brother Shadrach. With your permission, I would also like to take a look at this ring before you take it. There may be some connection that we are not yet aware of."

Permission granted, Tiberius. As it stands, we have other matters to attend to. We will be taking the body with us when we leave. He will be laid to rest in the Silent City.

Kit nodded, then recited the traditional Shadowhunter farewell, "Ave atque vale. Hail and farewell, Tristan Delacroix."

"Ave atque vale," echoed Ty and the others, followed by a moment of silence.

The meeting resumed and Ty watched curiously as Dru leaned over to whisper to Thais, who's face lit up happily with a vigorous nod. Ty had met Thais on occasion but it struck him at that moment how much more at ease Dru was in her presence. Like they were two halves of a whole. He had felt that way with Livvy and with Kit once upon a time, before—

"Thais and I have an announcement we would like to make to everyone, since the Silent Brothers are here," Dru proclaimed, cutting off his dark trailing thoughts.

Thais took Dru's hand with an excited squeeze and announced, "We have decided to become parabatai."

Ty's heart filled with a feeling of regret so abrupt and intense that it was all he could do to stay seated. He wished he had his headphones, or Shadow beside him to ease the pain in his chest. He would escape to the roof as soon as he could; he would not break down here, in the middle of this meeting. He would not let Dru see or feel anything but happiness from him, because this was an important moment and he couldn't project his own regret onto his sister.

He didn't register anything else that was addressed in the meeting, and luckily none of it was directed at him. When everyone started to get up, Ty rose swiftly from his seat and made it halfway back to the library when a voice drew him out of his thoughts.

"Hey!"

Not now, he thought with dread.

Ty turned around to see Kit standing with his arms crossed over his chest, a scowl etched on his face. Ty said nothing, but crossed his arms in response. He was in no mood to be civil.

"When were you planning on telling me about the other murders? Or did you think that because you're a Centurion now, it makes you better than the rest of us?"

Was he serious?

Ty struggled to understand what could possibly make Kit think that way. It served as a cruel reminder that neither of them were who they used to be. Ty didn't bother answering; it would do no good to argue if that was what Kit truly believed. He turned on his heel and continued walking.

A hand gripped his shoulder and yanked him around. "I was talking to you."

Ty's reflexes kicked in immediately and he whipped his arm up and out, wrapping his hand around Kit's wrist and wrenching it backwards into an unnatural and painful angle, until Kit gave a small cry of pain. Ty released him. "Don't touch me."

Kit straightened up with an almost murderous look on his face, followed by realization of what he just did: touching Ty without warning or permission. But he didn't apologize, and Ty's nerves felt like a tightly drawn bow, ready to snap at any moment.

Kit appeared to be struggling with words. In the end, he settled on, "If you're going to be working this investigation you need to be forthcoming with your information."

Ty bristled at the comment, "I don't need to do anything. And you don't get to avoid me, insult me, and demand things of me at the same time. It doesn't work that way."

The murderous look returned to Kit's blue eyes, flashing like lightning in the witchlight as he glared at Ty, but he managed to keep his mouth shut.

Ty knew he could have left, but he found himself saying, "I accepted Jem's request to work this mission because I thought...I hoped things would be different after all this time."

Ty almost thought Kit wasn't going to respond, but then he did and Ty desperately wished he would have walked away when he had the chance.

"Yeah, well you thought wrong. I don't want you here."

The words settled in his mind amid all the other unresolved thoughts and feelings and his hands began their nervous flutter at his sides again. Ty's eyes flitted to Kit's for a brief moment, narrowing in defiant stubbornness. Two could play this game. "So that's how this is going to be."

"I guess so."

"Well that's too bad, because I'm not leaving."

Abruptly, Ty felt Shadow creep up alongside him, nudging his palm lightly with the top of her head. She somehow always knew when he needed her. He ran his fingers through her thick fur for comfort, and watched triumphantly as Kit backed away warily and quickly walked away.

When Kit disappeared around the far corner, Ty finally let his shoulders slump and made his way to the roof where he could be alone and remain undisturbed in his thoughts.

The night air was cool and damp on his exposed skin, but he didn't care. He just needed to be anywhere but inside the Institute, away from the sensory overload, away from the source of his suffering.

He took a deep, shaky breath and sank to the shingled surface of the roof with Shadow curled up at his side. He leaned into her, letting her warmth wash over him, comforting him. One hand gripped and loosened anxiously in her fur; she never seemed to mind when he did that. His other hand pushed aggravatedly through his own hair and he felt unshed tears from in the back of his throat, hot and burning.

I wish I'd never known you.

I don't want you here.

Livvy.

He should have been her parabatai. Maybe the bond would have saved her.

Her spirit appeared in front of him at that moment, and for the first time, her presence was not a comfort. She couldn't touch him, couldn't rub his hands between her own the way she used to.

He trembled with the sobs that spilled from within him, cracking open the wide chasm in his chest that never seemed to fully heal. But it had been months since his last meltdown. He had thought it meant he could handle this.

It was now abundantly clear that he could not, in fact, handle it.

Because he was broken.