The next layer was even worse.
He could still remember, in the beginning, how he'd looked forward to everything related to the gems. At that point, he hadn't really realized what they'd meant, when they talked about protecting the earth.
( At that point, he hadn't even realized that the monster they were fighting were actually other gems, just like them, even though, in hindsight, it should've been obvious from the gems that were embedded in all of them-)
He remembered the first time they'd warped to the strawberry battlefields. The brightly shining fruit growing everywhere had made the place seem warm and inviting, an interesting and cool part of Gem history, of his legacy.
It didn't look like that anything like that place now. He was clearly in the past again, probably not long after the battle ended. The gem weapons weapons were all lying on the ground like he remembered, but there were no strawberry patches to cover them up, and the sky was dark and nearly blood red.
( Garnet's words came to him, delivered the second time they'd visited the fields. Countless gems were broken here. It was a maelstrom of destruction and death. At the time, he'd hardly listened, had certainly not understood, because he was only a stupid kid -)
He shuddered, trying not to look to closely at his surrounding anymore, especially not at the ground, where there were countless broken gems buried. There was nothing he could do to help them, because it was already too late. Warily, Steven pressed on, and he wasn't sure how long he'd been walking through the battlefield, until he came across another Pearl, who didn't even turn around.
"Is this really about your phone?" Frustration and fear made him snap, his helplessness and confusion gnawing away at him.
This couldn't possibly just be about her phone, but he had no idea what it was supposed to be about. Why did Pearl want him to come here? Why was she showing him all this? She'd never liked to talk about the war, at least, not like this. The few stories she'd told him were like something out of a storybook, glorious battles where the Crystal Gems emerged victorious despite the odds against them.
The story she was telling now was nothing like those, and the tone of her voice was chilling. Somehow, it was worse than hearing her cry.
"What do you mean? Just tell me!"
But she didn't say anything. She just shook her head and held out her hand.
-o-
In the next layer, it was even darker, in more ways than one. He could barely see anything around him, except the ground before him-where there were pink shards.
Realization hit him then. This was the moment Pink Diamond was shattered.
There was the sound of battle nearby, but he was hardly paying attention to that, too focused on the figure standing before him, in front of a palanquin (a pink palanquin). It was… his mom? But what was she doing here? He moved closer, cradling the pink shards in his he did he realized he was wrong. Or rather, he was right, all along.
It wasn't his mother standing before him, with pink shards on the ground, but Pearl.
"I knew it, it was you who shattered her." As terrible as it was to have it confirmed, part of him was relieved, because at least he knew the truth, knew he was right, even if he didn't understand the why behind it yet.
But then, she was showing him her hand, a Pink Diamond gem, perfectly safe and unshattered.
And he didn't know anything at all.
"I don't understand."
-o-
He was in another layer, though it didn't seem that way, because he wasn't far away from the last one. He was inside the palanquin. What was he doing here? He got off the giant chair, drawn to the back of it by the sound of voices.
It was Pearl, and his mom?
Confused, he could only watch as the two talked, unaware of his presence. It was another memory, he realized immediately. Steven recalled the other time Pearl had shown him a memory of her and his mother speaking to each other, her holograms flashing to recreate the moment.
This was on a whole other level, and he hardly knew what to think as he watched. His mother was acting strange. So was Pearl. He wondered if this was really going to answer all his questions.
And then:
I can't exactly shatter myself.
Wait, what? Steven thought numbly, the pieces of the puzzle slowly starting to form in his mind as he realized what the words meant.
He hardly had time to wonder if he was right, because in the next moment, he was watching, with mouth agape in shock, as Rose Quartz transform into Pink Diamond before his very eyes.
He backed away instinctively, previous experience with the Diamonds, everything he'd thought he'd known about them going through his mind. He watched, as Pink Diamond-his mother -blew into some dirt and created the fake pink shards he'd held in his hands in the last layer. So that's what happened, he thought, as she swallowed the fake shards. It was all starting to make sense, even if, at the same time, it seemed to make no sense at all.
Let's never speak of this again. Pearl's hands were placed over her mouth. No one can ever know.
The final piece of the puzzle slid into place then. I can't tell you. Pearl had meant it literally, it turned out. All this time, he had thought it was him, that she wouldn't tell him because she thought he wasn't ready, that he couldn't handle it.
Pearl turned to him then, startling him when she spoke, "Sorry to make you come all this way."
She held out the cell phone he'd been looking for, he took it on instinct. Steven didn't know what to say. What could he say?
This Pearl didn't seem to expect a reply anyway. Without another word, she shapeshifted into the form of Rose Quartz, just as he'd seen her in the previous layer. The flower in her hair fluttered to the ground, and he realized it was the same flower from the text.
Heart heavy, he watched her draw the curtain and leave, knowing what she was about to do.
The sounds of the battle outside seemed to grow louder then, and his gaze fell back to the cellphone. Remembering Pearl's words to him, before this all began, he typed out. Found it.
-o-
For so long, all he'd wanted to know was the truth . He wasn't a little kid anymore, and he didn't need to be protected from the pain.
Now that he was here though, now that he knew, he wasn't sure he could handle it all after all.
Because his mom was Pink Diamond.
Instinctively, his hand flew to the gem on his belly, the one that he'd thought was a Rose Quartz all this time. But it wasn't. It was some weird, twisted up Pink Diamond- and his mom was some weird twisted up Diamond, after too!
Steven wasn't sure if he wanted to scream or cry or laugh. It was so hard to believe, that all this time, the answer was inside of himself all along. Literally .
-o-
For most of his life, pretty much as long as he could remember, he had never been sure quite how to feel about his mother. He had never had a chance to meet her, beyond the pictures and the stories that had come from his father and the Crystal Gems.
For the longest time, all he knew about his mom was that she was the best, kindest, most incredible gem ever. She was the fearless leader of the Crystal Gems, powerful and strong.
But more than anything though, all that he knew about her was that everyone was sad she was gone.
Everyone except him, because he had never met her. All Steven could conjure up was a hollow sort of wistfulness, where he imagined what she might've been like, where he missed the possibility of having a mother.
-o-
Slowly, over time, he started to see a different side to her. A darker side.
She kept secrets, even from her closest friends. She didn't tell them about lion, or her apparent ability to raise the dead and turn them into pink zombies with a magical dimension in their hair, because that was what lion actually, was, wasn't he?
She bubbled Bismuth, without ever saying a word about it to any of the other Crystal Gems. They'd fought over the Breaking Point, over shattering enemy gems, which she'd refused to to.
Until she shattered Pink Diamond.
Except she didn't, because she was Pink Diamond , and as she herself pointed out, she couldn't exactly shatter herself, could she?
Steven could still hardly believe it, even though he'd seen it with his own eyes.
-o-
He fell to the floor with a thud, colliding painfully with the wooden floors of the house. But he hardly felt it.
" I've wanted to tell you for so long, " Pearl was crying out, the moment he was back from her gem.
There were tears flowing freely from her eyes, and though part of Steven sought to comfort her, though he wanted to say something, give a reply, his mind was still reeling from the revelation.
The words fell from his mouth before he could stop them. His gaze was faraway, and his tone was weary, when he spoke, the weight of the secret he'd learned clearly heard in every word.
"Mom was Pink Diamond."