Hello! I hope everyone was blessed with a delightful holiday season! I realize that I have not updated since September, so I hope you are still sticking with this story. The truth is that I have been sitting on this chapter for a long time, mostly because I wasn't completely satisfied with it. But it meant I was able to get started on the next few chapters while I worked out the kinks. Ideally, the next updates should come much quicker!

With that said, I hope you enjoy!

…

Chapter 11: Misery Loves its Company

Kit gathered everyone in the dining room for a meeting following his talk with Ty in the infirmary. Part of him wished he could just let someone else run the meeting, but as acting head of the institute, it fell on him to push through his mental and physical fatigue, regardless of the fact that all he wanted was to go back to sleep for another eternity.

Not to mention that his stomach still fluttered uncomfortably each time he so much as glanced in Ty's direction, Ty's words from earlier repeating in his mind. "I'm afraid of losing you." He had been so astonished by the urgency in Ty's voice that he had been unable to respond—as if he had entirely forgotten how to speak tangible, proper words. He found that happened far too often in Ty's presence.

Anxiety clawed relentlessly at his insides, but he knew Ty was right about this. If he had any hope of controlling and utilizing his powers, he needed all the help he could get, and that meant coming clean. The only thing that helped was the idea of spending more time with Ty, building back the trust and kinship they once shared through training. It meant more than Kit could express that Ty was willing to set aside his discomfort with standard Shadowhunter training, just to keep him safe.

The meeting went remarkably well, all things considered. He hadn't been worried about Dru, or Thais. Dru had seemed to bounce in her seat with excitement, likely because she knew she had been the first to know, outside of Tessa, Jem and Magnus, and because she no longer needed to keep his secret.

Dalton, on the other hand, was visibly angry with him for keeping yet another secret, and had simply walked out of the room without a word after Kit finished explaining. Kit had let his head fall into his hands in frustration. Didn't Dalton understand that this was not a simple matter? Kit couldn't help but suspect that it also had to do with Ty's idea to oversee his training.He mentally reprimanded himself for his train of thoughts almost immediately. It was his own fault if Dalton felt betrayed by him. Dalton's feelings mattered and Kit had no right to expect him to understand everything when Kit was the one lying to him all this time.

He forced his attention back to the rest of the room. To his surprise, Jaime's reaction bordered on indignation. "Dios," he swore, only to be whacked on the arm by Dru. "You realize that the Rosales' are connected to the fey, right? We could have started looking into this a long time ago. Tú eres tonto!"

Ty snapped at him to shut up, much to Kit's surprise and delight. Not many people were able to knock Jaime off his pedestal. "Do you not understand the danger of knowing this, Jaime?"

"Do you think me incapable of keeping a secret? I did go on the run with the eternidad to keep it out of the Cohort's grimy hands, after all. Or did you forget that?"

"I didn't forget," Ty replied simply.

Kit could feel a headache forming behind his eyes, and he was still too preoccupied with thinking about how to make amends with Dalton this time around, that he barely registered Jaime's next comment.

He was still glaring at Ty, but spoke to Kit. "Why don't you show us some of these dangerous powers of yours then?"

Kit completely understood Dalton's anger. But for the life of him, he could not seem to grasp what Jaime was so worked up about. He was one stupid comment away from climbing across the table and punching Jaime in his stupid face.

"I can't," he seethed.

"How convenient," Jaime snapped. "Let me get this straight. You've known about your powers for three years—you have more enemies than any of us were aware of, and a claim to the entire land of faerie—and you didn't think for one second that maybe the rest of us could fucking help you? Unbelievable," he huffed and strode from the room in a rage.

Kit wanted to bolt out of the room after him. Instead, he seemed to just crumple in on himself, unable to make eye contact with anyone else in the room. He didn't want to know what everyone else thought.

Thankfully, he didn't have to find out.

"If anyone else has an issue with this, I suggest you save it for later," Magnus spoke sternly. "This is not a simple, or light, matter and Kit did what he felt was best to protect himself. Circumstances have changed, and now it is in everyone's best interest to know the truth."

Kit looked at him with more gratitude than he could put into words before looking around the room. He realized everyone was waiting on him to say something. "We are done discussing this for now. Until...I don't know. Until we have more information, I guess." He ran a hand through his messy curls and rubbed the back of his neck. "Dismissed," he sighed, getting up from the table and setting out to find his boyfriend. Kit heard Ty ask to speak to Magnus privately on his way out, but filed it away to the back of his mind for later.

Dalton's favorite place to go when he needed space was the training room, which was exactly where Kit found him. Unlike most Shadowhunters, Dalton actually didn't have a specialty when it came to weapons-he was remarkably adept with almost anything he wielded. At the moment, he was practicing with the crossbow, releasing bolts into a sorry looking dummy across the room. One after another the bolts hit their mark in the center of the dummy's chest.

Dalton hadn't noticed his presence yet, so Kit took the moment to observe him, all sun-kissed skin and bronze waves. There was a silent strength about Dalton that had attracted Kit to him in the first place. He was easy to like. Easy to talk to. But lately, it was almost as if they kept taking single steps forward only to take three giant steps backward. Not for the first time, he wondered if it had been a mistake to put a label on their relationship. Things were messy and complicated now, just as he feared they would be. He didn't need to remind himself that it was his own doing.

Dalton turned away from the training dummy and caught him watching. He put the weapon away and Kit motioned for him to come with him, relieved that Dalton followed. He didn't take him to the roof—that was a sacred space, but there was a balcony overlooking the courtyard that Kit sometimes liked to disappear to.

"I know you're angry with me…" Kit began as they stepped into the morning air.

"Yep," came his curt reply.

"Dalton…"

"When the hell were you going to tell me about being part faerie? Or that you can do magic? For god's sake, I know your history with Ty is complicated, but to tell him before telling me? That's a low blow, Kit."

"I didn't plan on telling him! We went on patrol that night, and I got angry when the vampire attacked him, and my magic just…" he shrugged. "It has a mind of its own. I had to tell him after that."

"But you still didn't tell me, until today, because Ty wanted you to."

"No, Ty didn't want me to tell anyone. He let me decide what was best. I don't think you understand the danger."

"Then why do it?"

Dalton was yelling now and Kit was going on the defensive.

"Because of what happened last night!" Kit paced back and forth, fists clenched at his sides. "I passed out because of my own magic, Dalton. Because I can't control it and have no idea what my limits are! I made six ancient faerie horses just disappear. I don't know where they went, or if I even actually killed them. What if I lose control and hurt any of you? Do you think I could live with that? Not to mention the Seelie Queen probably wants my head served to her on a silver platter, or any of yours if it meant getting to me, regardless of whether I make a move as the rightful heir or not. Which, by the way, I don't want. But I may not have a goddamn choice." Kit's breathing had turned ragged, and all he wanted was to stop fighting.

Dalton was stunned into silence. "You still should have trusted me," he murmured quietly after some time.

"You think I don't know that?"

"I don't know, Kit. That's the problem!" Dalton turned away, tugging at his hair agitatedly.

"Then why bother with this at all?" He didn't have to explain what he meant, as he thought back to that night in the rain when Dalton said he loved him.

"You know why. What are you so afraid of that you keep pushing me away?"

He gazed down into the courtyard, not that there was much to look at other than some unkempt shrubs and paths. Why did he keep pushing Dalton away? Why did he hesitate to let Dalton truly know him?

"I don't know."

"Then for the love of God, figure it out or say it's over, because I can't handle the uncertainty."

There it was. Dalton's limit.

"I told you not to make me promise you anything."

"And you said you would give this a real chance. You gotta stop keeping secrets from me."

Kit knew that wasn't possible. There was still the very illegal bit of dark magic he and Ty had done and the unknown consequences of that night. No way could he tell Dalton about it. Dalton already regarded Ty with anger for rejecting him, he couldn't imagine what Dalton would think if he knew Kit had been dragged into necromancy at Ty's behest as well.

"I don't want to break up with you, Dalton."

Dalton snorted a small laugh. "Well, neither do I."

Kit turned to look at him. A small smile tugged at the corner of Dalton's lip, and Kit knew their fight was over. For the time being, at least.

"Come here," Dalton sighed, pulling Kit into his arms and kissing him fiercely—desperately. Kit clawed at the fabric of Dalton's shirt, sliding his hands along the rippled muscles of his stomach, around his waist and along the taut column of muscles lining his spine, turning Dalton into a puddle under his touch. "You drive me crazy," he groaned, fisting a hand in Kit's hair, and Kit forgot all about magic and necromancy and the sheer exhaustion he felt minutes earlier.

"I'm sorry," Kit breathed against his mouth, finding himself pinned against the brick wall as Dalton hoisted his legs effortlessly around his waist, being anything but gentle as he ground out a rhythm with his hips. It wasn't long and Kit was panting with need as Dalton swiveled and slid to the floor with Kit straddling his lap. Their shirts had long since been discarded around them and Kit found himself tugging at the belt around Dalton's waist. "These need to come off," he mumbled breathlessly against Dalton's ear.

Dalton pushed Kit off of him, which earned him a grumble of dissent, and slid the remainder of his clothes off.

"Yours too," he demanded, and Kit obliged hastily, mouth going dry upon seeing just how badly Dalton wanted him. They were both completely exposed and naked under the late morning sky, the chilly, damp air leaving their skin peppered with goosebumps.

Kit returned to Dalton's lap, dropped a wad of saliva in his hand and began stroking Dalton with delicate and deliberate veracity, savoring the way Dalton's eyes fluttered shut at his touch. Dalton began to unravel beneath him, until Kit removed his hand and lifted himself to a hover over Dalton's length, easing himself down slowly, groaning as he adjusted and readjusted until Dalton was buried to the hilt inside him.

"God, Kit," Dalton moaned against his shoulder, giving Kit an immense feeling of satisfaction. "You are something else."

….

Kit had not intended on having make up sex on a balcony with Dalton, but he wasn't exactly complaining about it, either. He didn't know how long they were up there, nor did he care. He was just relieved that Dalton wasn't upset with him anymore and it had truthfully been a welcome distraction from everything else.

Dalton left to run some errands with Jaime after they had both showered and changed. Kit didn't ask any questions and had not confronted Jaime—he would calm down and talk to him when he was ready. Instead, he sought out Magnus. They had yet to talk about his findings on the amulet, and if it contained any clues to managing his powers, then the sooner they figured it out the better.

He checked the dining room first, where he had left Ty and Magnus when he went to find Dalton, but as expected, they weren't there. He passed by the kitchen to the library and heard hushed voices, one low and raspy, the other brighter and energetic. Considering Dalton and Jaime were gone, they could only belong to Ty and Magnus.

Kit knew he should have made his presence known but suddenly he was back in Victor Heights, creeping up the stairs from the basement in silence to eavesdrop on his father and his customers. He had always been good at sneaking around—if Johnny knew he was eavesdropping all those times, then he never said anything about it. He had learned much about the denizens of the shadow world that way—much more than his father ever taught him. And Kit had been careful to keep it to himself.

Kit crept around a corner, curiosity getting the best of him. He thought he detected the bittersweet scent of magic being performed, and as he peeked through a bookshelf, saw Magnus handing Ty a vial of dark liquid.

"This should help, Tiberius."

"Thank you," Ty said. Kit noticed the way he shifted his weight from one foot to the other nervously.

Kit wouldn't say he was suspicious of Magnus and Ty, but it was definitely odd. He hoped it was just something to help keep him calm, instead of Kit's worst fear—something to do with their attempt at raising Livvy from the dead. He took a few steps back before making a noise, alerting them to his presence as he came around the shelves as if he hadn't just been eavesdropping on them. The items that had previously been on the table disappeared with a wave of Magnus' bejeweled hand.

"What are you two doing?"

Magnus glanced at Ty, who averted his gaze and fumbled around in his pocket.

Whatever it was, Kit knew better than to press the issue. Everyone had their secrets. Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. He pushed it out of his mind. "Never mind. Magnus, did you get a chance to do some digging on the amulet?"

"Yes...though I didn't come up with much. I would like to take another look at it, maybe take some pictures?"

"Of course."

The three of them entered Kit's office and he removed the amulet from the safe. He also reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out another item.

"Magnus, I was wondering…Would you be able to reverse the enchantment on this?"

He held out the Ring of Dispel and watched with smug satisfaction as Magnus and Ty both looked at him with wide eyes, not even trying to hide their shock.

"Kit, how on earth…" Magnus mumbled.

But it was Ty who composed himself first. "You pickpocketed Hypatia." Kit could almost see the wheels turning. "When you tackled her to the ground, you used it to swipe the ring from her again."

"You sneaky devil," Magnus said, impressed.

"Growing up with Johnny Rook was useful for some things," he muttered, more to himself than anything.

Magnus took the ring in his hands. "It will require some time, but yes, I think I am capable of reversing the spell. Why though, if you don't mind my asking?"

"You said that it was originally intended as a ring of protection against enchantment. I imagine that it might come in handy."

Ty looked at him with a strange expression that Kit couldn't quite decipher. "It would also be rendered entirely useless to whichever one of our enemies wants it. Good thinking, Kit."

Kit smiled inwardly at Ty's compliment. It almost felt like old times.

"Alright, let's have a look at this amulet again, shall we? You said that Catarina sent over some books?"

"Yes," Kit motioned towards the stack on his desk. "Either I was too tired when I looked through them, or they proved unhelpful."

"No matter, it was worth a shot."

Magnus lifted the necklace from the desk and pulled what looked like a magnifying glass out of an inner pocket.

"Magic magnifying glass?" Ty asked quizzically.

"No, just a normal magnifying glass." A contemplative expression came over Magnus' face as he squinted through the glass, turning the stone over, meticulously poring over every edge and fine detail.

"Anything?"

"Hmmm. There seems to be a small inscription on the bottom edge here," he pointed it out to them. "But it's been worn away with age and difficult to read."

"May I?" Ty inquired and Magnus handed it over with the magnifying glass.

Kit observed in silence as Ty tried to determine what it said. Kit was always fascinated by the intensity with which Ty focused when there was a mystery to solve. "I can only make out the last two letters—n and e."

Kit wrote it down. "A name, maybe?"

"Maybe." Ty handed it back to Kit, and the warmth settled into him like a presence he'd known his entire life. "Take off your pendant."

Kit gaped for a moment, then did as he was told, removing his mother's necklace from around his neck. "Why?"

"I have a theory. It's pretty clear that this stone is connected to your lineage—or at least your magic. Could you try to push your magic into it the way you did with the sword?"

"Ty, you know it doesn't work that way."

"We don't know exactly how it works, Kit."

Kit closed his eyes, trying to find the well of power he knew existed within him. Trying to find a thread of magic he could pull out, but he'd never done this. He had only been able to do it when he was distressed, and didn't even know how to begin using it at will.

He opened his eyes and set the amulet down. His energy was still far too drained to accomplish much. "I can't do it."

"Think of something that angers you."

There were many things that made Kit's blood boil, but channeling that energy on purpose and not in the heat of the moment—that was a different story.

"Tiberius, I don't think we should push him too much. He's still recovering from last night." Kit yawned suddenly and remembered that he had fully intended to take a nap.

Ty ran a hand through his hair, and Kit watched as it fell back into his eyes haphazardly. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay, Ty. You're just trying to help."

He nodded, but a haunted look seemed to linger in the depths of his gray eyes.

Kit pulled out his phone and checked the time, dismayed to find that it wasn't even late afternoon yet. Exhaustion weighed him down, making him feel sluggish and unfocused.

"Okay kids," Magnus proclaimed with a flourish of his hands. "I'm going to gather up what I need to start the reversing spell. If you need me, I'll be in the library."

They watched as Magnus left the room, his coat tails swishing dramatically behind him.

Kit flopped down into his chair and kicked his feet up onto the desk.

"Do you want to be left alone?"

Kit lifted his gaze to Ty's, lids heavy with sleep. "Not really."

…

Ty stayed with Kit in the office well into the evening, though it didn't take much to convince him, and had taken the opportunity to pore over some of the books from Catarina. At some point, it dawned on him that neither of them had eaten since the previous night, so he left Kit to finish writing up the report from the night before, making sure to leave out anything relating to faerie magic, and returned with a plate of sandwiches and a bag of chips a little while later. Shadow found him, as she always did, on his way back to Kit's office, and followed him back, curling up on the rug in front of the fireplace.

Ty settled on the floor next to her, running one hand through her spotted fur as he munched on some chips. Kit plopped down alongside him, using his arm like a pillow and lazily taking a bite from his sandwich.

"Thanks," he mumbled through a mouthful, and Ty fought the urge to chuckle at the sight.

He pulled a piece of meat from his sandwich and tossed it at Shadow, who lifted her head to catch it out of midair. She rested her head back down contentedly on her paws, giving him a golden-eyed look of gratitude.

Ty glanced over at Kit, fidgeting with his hoodie strings, suddenly feeling awkward. "Kit...I'm sorry I pushed you to use your magic earlier, so soon after...last night." Kit's blue eyes shifted up to meet his, reflecting the fiery glow from the fireplace, and Ty wanted to look away instantly. Instead he pushed through his natural instinct, and continued, "I don't know why those things don't occur to me…"

Kit gazed back at him quietly for a few agonizing moments. "Ty, you don't have to worry about me."

"I do, though," he shrugged, feeling a heavy sadness settle over him like dense fog. "When we...when I wanted to bring Livvy back, that's all I could focus on. It's like this innate flaw within me. I get so stuck on these ideas...and I can never seem to see the bigger picture…"

"Ty, it's-"

"Let me finish, Kit," he said quietly. "I told you I'm afraid of losing you, but that's not the entire truth." He noticed the way Kit's face crumpled in disappointment, and wanted to kick himself for making him feel that way. "That's not—what I mean is...I'm afraid that I'm going to be the reason I lose you again."

Shadow crept closer, resting flush against Ty's side and nudging him gently with her head. Her ability to sense his distress always fascinated him and he found himself clutching at her fur comfortingly.

Kit sat up, scooting across the rug towards him. "Hey...I can't promise that nothing will ever happen to me, but none of this is your fault."

"The people I care about tend to get hurt around me. I might put you in more danger."

"I'm not sure that's even possible," Kit said, with a small laugh.

"I'm serious, Kit."

"So am I. Danger or not, I need you by my side through this."

Ty's breath caught for a moment, remembering a time so long ago when he needed Kit. The truth was, he had never stopped needing Kit. He just never thought that Kit ever actually needed him—or anyone, really.

"Okay," he said, trying to calm the storm of emotions within him. He knew it wasn't necessary to say anything else, but he found himself trying anyway. He gave up after a few moments, settling on a small smile.

Kit's answering grin transformed his face, the soft glow from the fire lighting up his hair in dazzling streaks of copper and gold. Not for the first time, Ty desperately wanted to run his fingers through it. He settled on gliding his hand along Shadow's side, letting the soft tufts of hair slide smoothly between his fingers.

…..

Hours later, Ty lay sprawled out in front of the fire with the books from Catarina spread out haphazardly around him. He held the amulet, wishing he could see what Kit saw—the way he described it, a stone of bright blues and greens surrounded by mixed metals—it sounded lovely. All Ty saw was a brown rock. He had found a section in a book on ancient gemstones and other mystical materials, but not even a hint as to what the amulet was made of or what it could be, and he closed the book in frustration.

It didn't take long before Kit dozed off next to him, lying on his back with one arm behind his head like a pillow and other rested across his stomach lazily. Ty smiled to himself, grateful he was finally getting some rest. Kit had looked dead on his feet all day. Now he looked peaceful, as if all the weight and stress of reality simply disappeared while he slept. Ty knew that wasn't exactly how it worked, but he hoped there was peace in his dreams anyway.

He'd barely even had time to think about anything other than keeping Kit safe, but he could now, just for a moment, admire the soft curls that swept across his forehead and the spatter of freckles that peppered his nose. He had noticed them long ago, but only in the way that he noticed everything about the people in his life. It was different now; the way he tried to memorize every tiny detail about Kit.

The memory of Kit's lips on his skin came back and tugged at a feeling within him that he struggled to understand. He had to remind himself that there was nothing more to Kit's actions that night than getting Ty out of an uncomfortable situation. Yet his brain continued to be a jumbled mess when it came to whatever he felt for Kit, especially after he realized that Kit had told him how he felt three years ago and Ty didn't even realize it was romantic.

He felt a little foolish for it, but also uncertain if it would have changed anything that night at Lake Lyn. He had only been focused on bringing Livvy back—even if he'd understood, he wasn't sure he could have brought himself to do anything about it. Even now, it was still just as confusing, and Kit had given no indication that he had thought about it since.

He shook his head of the thoughts and rose from the floor quietly, padding across the room to the safe. He intended to simply put the amulet away, but his attention was snagged by the book sitting alone in the center of the box. Curiosity got the best of him and he reached inside to pull it out, flipping it over in his hand. It was a first edition of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes.

He had never forgotten.

"Ty."

Kit's voice broke through his thoughts and he dropped the book to the floor with a thud and a piece of paper slid out face down.

He bent to pick it up, when a hand clenched his wrist. Kit had jumped to his feet faster than Ty thought possible. "Don't. Please."

He looked from the hand around his wrist to Kit's blue eyes, swimming with an emotion Ty could only describe as desperation. He didn't try to pull away from Kit's touch though, unwarranted as it was.

He shouldn't have done it, but he turned the paper over anyway. Kit released him and turned away with a frustrated groan and Ty looked down at the drawing of himself, eyes wide and surprised. He remembered the day Julian had drawn it, and had just assumed it remained in his room with the rest of his collection.

The irony of Kit keeping it locked away with the Sherlock Holmes book was not lost on him, but he found himself asking anyway. "Why do you have this?"

Kit turned back to face him. He had one hand in his jeans pocket as the other pushed through his hair, rubbing at the nape of his neck—one of Kit's nervous gestures. Another detail Ty had committed to memory. Ty looked back down at the drawing, wondering what it was that Kit saw in it.

"It's how I wanted to remember you...after I left," Kit whispered. A blush spread across his cheeks, and he had a hard time looking at Ty, which was perfectly alright, as Ty found himself unable to look at him anyway.

Oh.

Oh.

Words, Ty. Use your words.

But they wouldn't come. He was overwhelmed with an emotion he couldn't describe—something between happiness and regret and hope, or everything at once. A matching blush had certainly graced his own cheeks in response. If he had any remaining doubts about where he and Kit stood since Ty came to London, they were gone now.

"I know. I know it's stupid," he heard Kit say.

"No, it's not," he said, finally finding his voice. It wasn't stupid at all. He gently returned the book and drawing to the safe, almost hesitant to let go. "If anything is stupid, it's that it took us almost three years to come back to each other." He didn't look directly at Kit as he said it—not out of embarrassment or anxiety. He just wasn't used to speaking so candidly about that time apart. And if he was honest with himself, it still hurt to think about it.

Kit's eyes lifted to his then, the desperation previously on his face gone, and he cracked a grin.

And then Kit was laughing—happily, without any shred of reservation.

Ty found himself suddenly laughing along with him and it felt so good that Ty pulled Kit into his arms impulsively, hugging him with an intensity that startled him, as if Kit would vanish if Ty let go for even the briefest of moments. Holding Kit in his arms, he was almost able to pretend that the pain wasn't still there, buried deep in his chest where even the immense joy he felt in this moment couldn't reach.

Kit's strong arms wrapped around him, curling up behind his shoulder blades, fists buried in his sweater. It struck Ty then, just how much taller he was than Kit. They were no longer laughing as Kit rested his forehead against Ty's shoulder, seeming to let go of some unseen burden, and Ty thought he felt a small fragment of that pain slip away with it.

"I missed you," Ty breathed, not knowing the last time he had hugged someone this way. He was still getting used to expressing his thoughts or feelings so freely, but it left him feeling just a little bit lighter than he had since before Livvy's death.