disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club.
Prompt 03 | Clarity
Kaoru had imagined this conversation hundreds of times.
When he was taking a long and extremely hot shower or the last to finish breakfast and left alone at the table. In the late hours of the night when he couldn't seem to fall asleep or the crack of dawn when the sun viciously shined through the blinds. When he was off in his own room doing homework because Hikaru wouldn't stop switching whatever song was playing on his playlist. Any time he had a solemn chance on his own, the possibilities of the conversation would arise in his mind.
Never had he expected it some go like this.
His toothbrush completely missed landing on the vanity of the sink when it fell from his mouth to the cold floor next to his feet.
Hikaru said something to him but Kaoru squeezed his eyes shut. It was a dream. Some horrible, sickly twisted dream he wasn't ready for.
"Say it again," Hikaru repeated.
His expression was unreadable, and Kaoru couldn't tell if it was because he couldn't get his thoughts together or because it felt like his breath had been ripped away from him the moment he heard his brother's voice.
Hikaru took a step towards him and Kaoru took a step back.
He wanted to hide. To run from this conversation before it could even start. But he couldn't run—no, his legs couldn't support his weight at the moment as they tried buckling beneath him. The only thing preventing him from collapsing right then and there was his hand bracing him up on the vanity of the sink.
"Because if you said what I think you said…"
Hikaru didn't need to finish. Kaoru already knew. He was a disgrace to the Hitachiin name for even having thoughts like that—let alone say them out loud for the world to hear. His eyes found the floor.
"I wanna know why I found out by accident."
Kaoru scratched at his neck, just below his ear. He looked up at Hikaru, but he couldn't force himself to look him in the eyes.
"I-I'm sorry…"
Hikaru only raised an eyebrow. "For what?"
He couldn't voice his words. He wanted to explain. He wanted to let Hikaru in. He wanted to scream it at the top of his lungs. To finally get it off his chest.
But he couldn't. He couldn't even meet his brother's confused gaze.
"Don't tell me you're apologizing because I found out," Hikaru said, and all Kaoru could hear was the venom lacing his words. "Because trust me, I'm pissed—but not about what you said. I'm pissed you felt the need to hide it from me."
He had every reason to be pissed.
"I'm pissed because you were afraid to tell me…" The tone in his voice changed. It was softer. And filled with hurt. "Like you don't trust me."
It's not that… He opened his mouth to say it, but no words formed. His knees finally buckled beneath him and hit the tile. Hard. His vision blurred as he blinked back the tears that were forming.
This wasn't how he wanted this conversation to go.
Arms wrapped around him and he leaned into them.
"I don't care if you're gay, Kao…" Hikaru said as he wrapped his arms tighter. "You're my brother. And you always will be."
And Kaoru cried.