Days at school without Sarah were torture and I didn't feel like that was a dramatic statement. I liked learning, I really did. But I wasn't going to be using my high school degree for anything and I wasn't going to college so I really didn't have any reason to be in school. My only motivation for going to school was that I didn't want to be the girl in the trailer park that dropped out of high school. I know Sarah was likely just playing hooky but days at Forks High School without her seemed even longer than normal.
While I had been kind of lonely all day with my limited — friendly — interactions, it hadn't been until my Genetics class that things were actually bad. Normally Sarah was in this class and sat next to me but, without her, I was alone. And also subject to the snarky comments from her friends.
"Hey, Emma, I heard you're screwing both that Seth kid and Collin which is why Collin decided he wasn't interested in Veronica." I spin my head to give Veronica a hard glare even though it's Alyssa who has said the insult. Veronica flushes under my gaze but doesn't say anything. She knows Collin's not interested in her because of how she treated me but of course she would never tell her friends that. I turn back around and ignore both of them, trying to take notes and pay attention to Mr. Pennington.
"Do they know you're trailer trash? Have you told them?" Veronica asks when I don't retaliate on the first comment. Jason M. snickers quietly but pretends to be enthralled in the powerpoint slide when I look over at him. It really didn't matter how many times Sarah or Seth said that I wasn't trailer trash and that they didn't care where I lived, when someone else brought it up, it always felt like a punch to the gut.
"Collin doesn't like you because you're a bitch." I whisper back to her, "Nothing to do with me." I can see Jill three desks over, craning her head to look with a worried expression on her face. I don't have anyone to defend me on this side of the room. The only people who might defend me to Veronica are Jill and Lily. But Lily is in a different class and Jill can't even hear what they're saying.
"When will you be moving?" Alyssa asks. "And what do we have to do to get your landlord to kick you out of that trailer home so you can go back to whatever park you came from?" Bringing up the trailer always made me anxious and, from the expression on both their faces they know that. Jason A. glances over at the three of us uncomfortably then shifts his body to be angled away. He doesn't want to be involved.
I don't blame him.
"We graduate in six months." I shake my head at the two of them. "I really don't get what your problem is."
"You're our problem." Veronica hisses, leaning forward on her desk. "You came here and infiltrated Sarah's life and forced your way into everything."
And there it was.
All roads eventually lead back to Sarah.
"I didn't force my way into anything." I snap, "Just because Sarah chose me—"
"Ladies!" Mr. Pennington calls, making the three of us snap our heads back to him. "I'm sure you're discussing the fact that this will be on the test next week but perhaps you can finish the conversation after class."
I'm grateful for the interruption and, as soon as class is over, I rush out of the room.
"Emma—" I hear Jill call but I was not about to get trapped with Alyssa and Veronica. I make it all the way to my locker and am just spinning the combination when Veronica smacks my books out of my hand. Two of them fall right at my feet and one of them slides across the hallway.
"I wasn't done talking with you." Veronica says. "I just want to make sure you're aware that you're trash and no one likes you and—"
"Hey, Veronica." A voice says besides me. "Back the fuck off and get to English class." She jumps in surprise and narrows her eyes at me but walks off with Alyssa in tow. I finish spinning my locker combination and open the door, trying to give myself a few seconds to compose myself before turning to face Jason C. I hadn't even considered that he would be someone who would stand up to Veronica. He's giving me a small smile and holds out my three books. "You okay?" He asks. I nod my head and take the books from him, sliding them into my locker and shutting the door. I've already decided I'm skipping my next class. Alyssa is in that class and I don't think I can handle her saying anything else to me.
"Thanks, Jason." I whisper. He frowns and I can tell from the expression on his face that I must look like I'm about to cry. I blink my eyes quickly trying to get rid of the tears and turn to walk down the hall and outside the school. I don't even realize he's followed me until I am outside.
"She's just a bully, you know that, right?" He says. "You don't actually believe anything she says, right?" I lean against the side of the school and shrug.
"Thanks for saying something to her." I say, feeling the need to show my appreciation again. "No one ever does."
"Are you skipping last period?" He asks and I nod my head. "I have a free, I'll bring you home."
"Oh, you don't have to…" I say, trying to imagine him standing in front of my trailer and just feeling sick to my stomach.
"Or I can bring you somewhere else?" He suggests, raising he eyebrows at me. "I can bring you to La Push to see your boyfriend?" Going to see Seth is exactly what I want to do and, I know if I text him, he'll come get me. But I don't want to panic him and I don't want him to cut class because of me.
"You really don't have to." I shake my head. "I can just walk home."
"It's, like, twenty degrees out, Emma." Jason shakes his head at me. "I promise I'm not hitting on you, Jason Q. and I are two different Jason's."
"I know you're different." I grin at him, feeling a little bit better than I had a half hour ago. "You'd really bring me to La Push?"
"Of course." He rolls his eyes and leads me over to his car. He cranks the heat once we get in and I rub my hands in front of the heating vents.
"You can just bring me to the High School." I sigh, leaning back in the seat. "Thanks, really, I mean it."
"What happened to your hand?" He asks. I still had the large white bandage plastered on my left palm. It didn't hurt quite as much as it had a few days ago and now it was mostly just itchy. My arms were a different story...they ached painfully.
"Glass." I sigh in explanation.
"Like you cut yourself on glass or…?"
"Like my mom had friends over and it got out of hand." I explain quietly.
"It's really loud in that trailer park, huh?" He says suddenly. He's right but I give him a questioning look anyways. "I live in the neighborhood behind Marietta Courts and sometimes, in the Summer, when I have my windows open, I can hear the yelling and music and just….noise."
"Yeah, it's really loud and sometimes…well, sometimes there's glass." I murmur, playing with the bandaid. We're quiet for another few minutes. I know he clearly pities me. Poor, Emma, can't stand up for herself and lives in a loud trailer park.
"I know you have Sarah and Seth and Collin and Brady and probably all those other guys on the Rez that they're friends with but if you ever need someone else in Forks, you can always call me." He finally says. "I'd always help you out."
"Why are you being nice to me?" I ask, feeling suspicious. Or maybe I'm just paranoid.
"You're a nice person, Emma." He shakes his head. "And I don't consider myself that bad of a guy." When I don't say anything, he sighs then hesitantly continues. "You're the only person who calls me Jason. Just Jason. Even Angie's brother's, Issac and Josh, call me Jason C. now and they're only freshmen. I can't wait to go to college and just be Jason…or maybe I'll go by Jase, I haven't decided." I sigh and pick up Jason's phone from the cupholder, adding my number in then texting myself so I'll have his number.
"If you give my number to Jason Q., I'm gonna kill you." I warn.
"I wouldn't. And, besides, I think Seth scared him a little." Jason laughs. "You shoulda seen him after you and Seth disappeared at the party. He was asking everyone if they thought you guys were serious or in an open relationship or were going to break up. I really thought Collin was going to punch him."
"How embarrassing." I groan, "He doesn't even really like me, does he?"
"He's been in love with you since the day you walked into home room. You're the only one who hasn't seen that." He explains.
"He's not even that nice to me." I frown. Jason Q. had never been mean to me or agreed with anyone else who was being mean but he'd never been overly friendly either.
"Yeah, he's a idiot, I don't know what to tell you." Jason grins at me and signals to pull into the La Push High school parking lot. There aren't many cars in the lot and I figure most the students probably walk to and from the school or are dropped off by their parents. Seth's mom's sedan isn't there but I spot Collin's red SUV.
"You can drop me off there." I say, pointing to the car.
"I can wait until school gets out if you'd like." He offers.
"Nah, it's okay, he'll be out in about five minutes." I shake my head, looking at the time on my phone. "But thank you so much, I really appreciate it."
"Okay, Emma." Jason smiles then says what I am clearly thinking, "Hopefully Sarah's back tomorrow." I get out of the car and wave goodbye before leaning against the front of Collin's car. I could have texted Seth right away but I knew he would have freaked out and left school early to come get me. I only have to wait a few minutes before students start filing out of the building. Collin is the first one out of the school building that I know and he spots me immediately.
"Hey!" He calls, jogging towards me, "What are you doing here?"
"I was in the area." I shrug. He grins and leans against the car next to me, throwing his arm around my shoulder and pulling me to his side.
"You know Seth's gonna freak when he sees you standing outside in the cold, right?" He says.
"No he's not." I respond, snuggling into his side. It really is cold and Collin, like Seth, is abnormally warm. Seth comes out of the school next and makes a beeline to me, a questioning look on his face. I struggle to pull myself from Collin's grasp so I can go over to him but Collin doesn't budge. Seth glares at Collin when he doesn't let me go.
"The imprints love me the most." Collin shrugs. "I don't make the rules, I just enforce them." For a split second I feel rattled at Collin using the word Seth had used to describe me so casually but neither one of them appears to notice. Collin had used it last night at the gas station when speaking to Edward but, here, in this setting, it feels more real.
"Actually, you don't have anything to do with the rules and most of them are in place because you've fucked up at something." Brady says, coming around from the other side of the car and hitting Collin in the head. He ducks and loosens his grip on me just enough that Seth is able to grab my hand and pull me to his chest. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his shirt.
"What's wrong?" He asks quietly, running his hands up and down my back. "What happened?" I shake my head, not even really wanting to tell him.
"Ah, shit," Collin sighs, "I didn't realize you were upset, I wasn't trying to be an asshole."
"I'm fine." I mumble against Seth's chest. And I do feel a lot better. Talking with Jason helped and now, just being wrapped in Seth's arms, I feel a thousand times better.
"Of course she's upset." Seth snaps at Collin. "She doesn't even have a car and somehow got to La Push."
"Jason dropped me off." I answer. "Jason C."
"Did you skip class?" Seth asks when I pull my head back from his chest. I nod my head.
"Just...one of those days..." I answer. "I'm sorry, I should have texted you first. Can you even hang out? It's okay if you can't."
"Yes, I can hang out. Of course I can." He tucks my hair behind my ears and kisses my forehead. "Do you want to walk back to my place or have Collin drop us off?"
"Can we walk?" I ask. I loved Collin and Brady but I really just wanted to be alone with Seth right now. We say our goodbyes and Seth wraps an arm around me.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks once we are finally alone and walking along the side of the road towards his house.
"Sarah was out today." I explain. "And some of her friends are just really nasty."
"Well we can always transfer you to the Rez school." Seth says hopefully, grinning down at me.
"You would love that, huh?" I ask, rolling my eyes.
"Mhm."
"Well, I'm not doing that." I respond. "I'm not running away from them...well, except today."
"You don't have to tell me what they said if you don't want to but I'll always listen to you if you do want to talk about it." He offers.
"I don't really want to talk about it but…one of the things they said…" I trail off. "You know nothing is going on between Collin and I, right? Like I know sometimes we're a little flirty but I'm not interested in him like that and I would never—"
"Of course I know that." Seth shakes his head. "Collin is like my brother and I like that you are close with him. I know you don't like Collin like that and Collin wouldn't do that to me."
"I really do like him and Brady." I say. "I mean, I like all of your friends, but I really like them."
"You're the closest imprint to their rank." Seth says hesitantly as we enter his home. He drops his bag by the door and we both kick off our sneakers. "It makes sense that they would gravitate towards you."
"Oh." I respond, not even really sure what to say to that. We head over to the couch while I think about that. I sit down on one side but Seth stretches out and rests his head in my lap. I smile down at him and begin playing with his hair, twisting the short pieces in my fingers. Thinking about vampires and imprints overwhelmed me but I didn't think it sounded like the worst thing. Seth was still Seth and we were still the same as we had been.
"Col told me about the gas station last night." Seth hesitantly says. "And I don't know if you actually are ready to talk about any of this stuff or not but if you are, it would probably help a lot of things make sense…" He trails off, giving me the option.
"Seth." I sigh. "I guess I don't really care because you're still the same person I know…but what are you?"
"I'm a shape shifting wolf." Seth explains. I'm not surprised and when he says the words it really all clicks into place. I'm pretty sure I knew all along too.
"Okay." I say slowly, processing. We stay quiet for a few more minutes. I try to picture Seth and Collin and the rest of them as anything other than the guys I have grown to love and fail.
"Okay?" Seth repeats and I glance back down at him from where he's laying against me. He looks very nervous.
"So I guess Edward really was right that you're a pack." I answer. I don't know why that's my first thought but it is. He blinks a few times in surprise and then cracks a smile.
"Do you wanna see…?"
"Umm…no…no thanks, I believe you but I don't think I need to see you…turn into…um…that." I stutter through the sentence but in the end Seth is just left grinning up at me. "Did you really think I was going to freak out?"
"Uh, yeah, one hundred percent." He admits.
"Well, I feel like I've had over a week to accept the fact that vampires exist and that I met a few of them." I explain. "And obviously you and Collin and Brady and everyone else are something so the wolf thing makes sense to me."
"You're amazing." He mumbles, lifting his head off my lap to be closer to me and reaching a hand up to cup my cheek. I slip my tongue into his mouth as soon as our lips touch. I had seen Seth everyday since the incident — even if for only a few minutes to say hello — but he had been more than careful with me and I hated it. Part of me was worried that he was no longer attracted to me or that the bruises on my arms were too much for him to handle. But the way he's kissing me now makes me put those fears aside. I am just trailing my hand down the front of his chest when he pulls back suddenly and sits up so he's next to me.
"Seth." I complain, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice but I know I fail.
"My mom just pulled up." He says quickly in explanation. "I want to continue, really, but…"
"Oh, fuck." I mutter, running my hand through my hair and hoping I don't look like we've been fooling around. I leap up from the couch on instinct, standing in front of him.
"What are you doing?" He asks, grinning at me and remaining seated on the couch.
"I don't know." I admit. "I don't want her to think we were…"
"We were what?" He asks, raising his eyebrows. I blush and he finally takes pity on me and laughs. "Oh, come here." He loops an arm around my waist and tugs me back down to the couch and against his side. "She knows you're my girlfriend, she doesn't expect us to be standing on opposite sides of the room."
"Right." I nod my head but I do feel better with the knowledge that she at least knows about me. I had thought Seth had probably told his mom about us but he hadn't brought up meeting her and I hadn't asked. I didn't want to just assume he had told her about me. The front door opens and a short woman with brown hair pulled into a twist comes into the room.
"Hi Seth." She says, tugging her arms out of her jacket while still balancing her purse. "How was school? How'd the math test— oh, hi!" Mrs. Clearwater seems to realize I'm there once her jacket is hung up. At least she looks happy to see me which makes me feel a little more comfortable.
Adults always made me nervous — probably because I didn't really consider my mother an adult so I didn't really have much practice with how to talk to them. I had mastered speaking with teachers regarding school work and I was pretty good at speaking with bosses. I had worked at a few restaurants in the past few years and a few convenience stores so I had to converse with adults in those situations, though not as often as I would have thought. I hadn't personally seen my boss at the gas station in months. As far as adults go, I was most comfortable around Linda Adams. But it was easier to just pretend that Sarah's mom was my own for the few minutes we would speak — or at least pretend she was the mom I always wanted. Speaking with the mom of a boyfriend though? I had no idea how I was supposed to act or what I was supposed to say. What if she didn't like me?
"Hey mom, this is—"
"Emma, of course!" Mrs. Clearwater says, finishing Seth's sentence and clasping her hands together in excitement.
"Nice to meet you, Mrs. Clearwater." I say shyly, standing up from the couch now that Seth has loosened his grip on me.
"Call me Sue." She insists coming over to me and surprising me by cupping my cheeks in her hands. "You are beautiful."
"Mom!" Seth whines, sounding embarrassed.
"What?" She asks, removing her hands from my face but wrapping an arm around me instead and leading me to the kitchen. "I have been asking to meet her for a month and you wouldn't bring her by." She gives Seth a disapproving look before turning back to me with a huge smile on her face. "Do you want to stay for dinner? You're staying for dinner."
"Okay." I agree, even though she's made my decision for me.
"I just want you to know, you are welcome here whenever you want." She says earnestly.
"Thank you, Sue." I smile at her.
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