And I said: "M-ma'am I don't think wearing a plastic bag over your head is going to stop the virus, it might definitely stop your breathing though."
My name is mike. I work in retail, I've always loved working in retail. It's honest easy work. I've been doing this job for 18 years. I've seen some shit. But this virus is making people crazy. It's really not that bad. I've had at least six people come in with some kinda contraption attached to their head tryna keep the virus out. The world's going mad! Lemme tell you what happened last week. I was stocking aisle 4 and some guy came in and only bought carbonara for pasta, no pasta, ONLY carbonara. I mean those are some extreme lengths just to acquire the sauce. And then this other time this lady bought the entire toilet paper line, I shit you not she bought every single roll of goddamn paper in the store, it was 3 seconds after opening, we had people queuing around the block like it was a fuckin iphone release. As crazy as this job gets, it's still the most fun I've ever had. You know for sure there'll be more crazy in the coming weeks and i'll be here the whole way through.
"Wow that's really interesting, thanks mike, back to the studio for news at 6"