Hi. I don't know too much about BNHA, I only read a bit of it. But I have many mixed feelings about the story and the characters.
So I wrote this. Bakugou Katsuki will be somewhat different from canon. Also, I don't mean to villainize Mitsuki. She's a first time parent, who is bad at parenting and emotions, and rather ignorant of her child's state of being. Which isn't okay. But she tries. Keep that in mind when reading this, thanks. Also, I wrote this while sick, so I was kinda out of it. If you see any mistakes, confusing parts, etc, please feel free to message me.
My Hero Academia belongs to Kōhei Horikoshi. I am not profiting from this. Thanks for reading.
If I'm a Hero
It was a little known fact that Bakugou Katsuki cried more often than he would have liked. It wasn't his fault. It's not like he even tries to cry. In fact, he tries not to. But crying was his body's automatic response to stress and frustration.
And Bakugou Katsuki was, more often than not, stressed and frustrated.
As a young child, he was quiet. For the most part.
He'd stay quiet, observing everything around him with only a few muttered words, until someone came and pushed his buttons. Then he'd explode into a tiny ball of rage and screaming. Sometimes, he wouldn't even scream words. He'd just yell and scream, because that was the only way he could express the emotions within him.
Oh. That and crying (in secret). He wasn't a fan of how he reacted. No one was.
There was a new neighbor one day. The Midoriya family. It was a mother and her son. They came by the Bakugou residence to introduce themselves.
"Good morning! My name is Midoriya Inko. We just moved in yesterday," said the woman. She had green hair. So did her kid. The kid who was trying to disappear behind his mother's legs.
"Oh my! Hello, I'm Mitsuki, and this is my husband, Masaru. Is that your son?" the Bakugou matriarch replied with a beaming smile.
"Yes! Come say hello, Izuku," his mother encouraged with gentle smiles and even gentler nudges. The child (green eyes, very green) hesitantly peeked out from behind her legs.
With a shaky voice he said, "Hello. My name is Izuku."
"Aww, how adorable!" Mitsuki cooed down at the soft spoken child. She turned back toward the house and yelled, "KATSUKI! COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!"
To answer her shout, another shout came down, "SHUT UP, I'M COMING!"
Another young boy showed up at the gathering. This one was frowny and scowling, looking like he'd rather be anywhere but there.
"You little brat. Come and say hello to our new neighbors," Mitsuki scolded. Her son's face scrunched up in distaste. He didn't like talking, but he didn't like his mother yelling at him the most.
"...Hello," he mumbled out after a few seconds.
That was how they met. Izuku and Katsuki. They were… close. In a way.
Well. They were friends.
Kind of.
Izuku was Izuku. A kind, gentle, soft child.
Katsuki was not Izuku. He was violent, rough and brash, no filter on his mouth.
"Kacchan! Kacchan! Look! All Might is on the telly!" little Izuku exclaimed with pure joy, hoping to share his excitement with his best friend (only friend). Katsuki came over with some reluctance, wishing his companion was just a bit quieter in his enthusiasm.
All Might, the most famous and popular and the greatest Hero ever. The guy was on TV, smiling and laughing as usual. He always smiled. In Katsuki's mind, smiling meant happiness, which meant All Might was always happy.
He glanced over to his left, looking at Izuku's face. The boy was also always smiling. That must mean Izuku was always happy.
Which meant…
Katsuki was always unhappy.
He thought about that a lot.
Katsuki liked to play in the park or the woods. Anywhere with trees and no one else. Izuku tagged along sometimes, but Katsuki didn't mind as long as he kept quiet. Izuku mumbled under his breath a lot, which unsettled Katsuki a bit, not at least he was quiet.
He climbed trees, jumped in puddles, splashed in rivers, overturned rocks. All the typical activities to do in a wooded area. Izuku tried to follow without being as reckless.
Katsuki often came back home dirty.
Izuku was, more often than not, still clean and tidy.
"KATSUKI! You got all dirty again?! You little brat! Why can't you be more like Izuku?" his mother would tell him sometimes (a lot, she told him a lot).
He hated it when she yelled. When she yelled, she did not smile. When she yelled, he could not smile.
He wanted her to stop yelling and smile and be happy and love him like how Aunty Inko loved Izuku.
The next time Katsuki went to the forest, he went alone. He didn't scrape his hands against tree barks. He didn't jump in any puddles and rivers. He barely even poked at the rocks. He was all clean and tidy. He did pluck a few leaves to stick in his hair. So he could be green.
Just like Izuku.
She didn't like the leaves.
At school, Katsuki would observe Izuku. The kid was quiet, but so was Katsuki (mostly). He did his homework and listened in class, just as Katsuki did too. He didn't think they were so different he had to be like Izuku.
He couldn't understand.
Izuku didn't stand up for himself. If anyone had picked a fight with Katsuki, he'd retaliate fourfold with a vengeance. Izuku just took it. So Katsuki did too.
He'd come home with scuffs and rumpled clothes, cuts and scrapes across his skin from all the hits and shoves he took.
"Why didn't you stand up for yourself?! If anyone bothers you like this, you need to fight back!"
Izuku was perfect. And he was everything Katsuki was not.
Katsuki decided he could never be perfect.
It bothered him (much more than he let on).
He gave up eventually. Going back to his routine of tumbling in the forest and getting into scuffles. Sometimes, he'd join in the fight with the kids picking on Izuku. Because despite everything he felt, Izuku was his friend.
And then he got his quirk.
It was pretty. Sparking up in the palm of his hands. It was great. Everyone said so. Even Izuku. Even his mother said so. And she smiled and said she was proud of him.
Katsuki smiled. He was happy.
And then Izuku never got a quirk. He was very upset and despaired even with a smile plastered on his face. He smiled, but he was not happy.
Katsuki didn't understand. Even without a quirk, Izuku was Izuku.
He was kind, gentle, soft. He was still perfect.
Katsuki felt as though nothing had changed. (His unchanging attitude was something Izuku greatly appreciated. He never said so, so Katsuki never knew how much Izuku treasured their friendship.)
While wandering through the woods, dunking his hands in the cool river, a sudden thought popped into his mind. It was a shocking revelation.
Katsuki had a quirk. Izuku did not.
Izuku had a loving mother. Katsuki…
He decided that was why.
All because of a bunch of pretty little sparks in his hands. From that day on, they were no longer pretty. He hated them, and with teary eyes, decided not to use his quirk.
It was hard. Not using his quirk. It was involuntary. He couldn't help getting sweaty. The sparks were no longer little flickers. They began to grow into something more explosive. His days were full of smokey surprises and burns on his hands.
His teachers scolded him.
His classmates laughed at him.
His mother did not smile.
It eventually got to the point his explosive nature started getting comments from everyone. Classmates, teachers, strangers… They all muttered to each other, glancing with hard stares at Katsuki as he walked by.
"Quirk and personality fit for a villain."
(He ran away to the trees and cried.)
At least those comments forced him to use his quirk. To control it.
He hated the heat that burned his hands and raced up his arms.
He hated the smoke that choked his lungs and bit his eyes.
And especially, he hated the sound. The loudness. The ringing in his head. He hated it all.
But he had no choice.
Seeing Izuku made him feel uneasy. Perhaps unhappy. Which was weird, because seeing friends was supposed to make people feel happy.
Katsuki decided they were not friends. And besides, someone so perfect shouldn't hang around someone like him.
(Izuku noticed the growing distance between them. But he was too soft to do anything about it. He thought his friend just needed some space.)
By the time middle school came around, Katsuki went to another school and spent his days inside his home to study. Izuku hardly ever saw him anymore.
The days of rolling around in the grass and the river banks was now behind Katsuki. He left it all behind. Abandoned his childish behavior and took up excessive studying and training his quirk. He noticed being the best made his mother smile more. So he worked harder and harder to be the best.
Because he wanted her to smile at him and tell him nice things.
And he decided to become a hero. Just like All Might. Because if he was the best at being hero, then his mother would smile at him. Because everyone loved heroes.
And that's what he wanted.
Izuku was there. At UA High School. The school for heroes. That pretty much require a quirk. And Izuku was there.
When Katsuki saw the boy from his childhood demonstrate a quirk of phenomenal power (like All Might), he stood up without thinking and marched toward the boy, face blank from incomprehension. Or at least, he tried to. The teacher, Aizawa, stopped him, thinking Katsuki was going to pick a fight (because everyone said Katsuki was villainous and reckless and mean and horrible. At this point, Katsuki wasn't even sure where this reputation came from). He wasn't going to, but said nothing and sat back down.
Izuku said something. Explaining about how he got his quirk. And other things that Katsuki did not understand. Could not understand.
"Kacchan?" Izuku, hopeful of reconnecting with his friend, was concerned by his silence.
"Okay," Katsuki said after a beat.
"Okay?"
"Okay." And he walked away, leaving the other boy confused.
Katsuki walked away. And walked. And walked. He walked past the station. He walked all the way home. He didn't stop at his home. He walked to the forest and sat at the river bank, uncaring if he got wet. He sat and had a sudden thought.
Izuku had a quirk. He had always been perfect. Now everyone can see that.
It wasn't the lack of quirk that made his mother always compare them. It was because Izuku was perfect and Katsuki was not Izuku.
He dunked his head into the water and screamed and cried. He wanted to drown and disappear into the depths.
Something in him broke.
He decided Bakugou Katsuki was not destined for great things.
He decided Bakugou Katsuki could not be loved.