A/N: EDITED as of July 2020. This contains some scenes that were previously in chapter 9. Also some small references to episodes.

Chapter 10:

"-And, of course, the backyard is a big plus."

Reid shaded his eyes against the morning sunlight as he took in the sight. He was visiting a few houses today, and this was by far the most promising. The yard had a little terrace near the back door, where they could sit on sunny days, and there was plenty of room for Matthew to run around and play. It also had a tall, sturdy fence, which was a good thing, in Reid's opinion.

The realtor's phone rang, and she shot him an apologetic look. "I have to take this, but feel free to look around some more," she said, as she wandered off to answer the call.

Reid stepped back inside through the sliding door. The room beyond was a light, airy, open kitchen with a cozy breakfast nook and plenty of shelf space. An open doorway led to the living room. Reid found it hard to imagine it looking like the lived-in main room in Annabelle's apartment, but there was plenty of light, more than enough space for any furniture they wanted to keep, as well as a small desk, next to the built-in bookshelves. He was pretty sure Annabelle could turn it into a home.

With another 3 bedrooms and a garage, it was an ideal place to raise Matthew. Maybe Morgan could help put a play set in the yard. After all, the other man had selected this house - among a few others - as good options for Reid and Annabelle.

But now, faced with a place where he could picture them living, Reid felt inexplicably nervous.

The front door opened and Reid looked up to see Morgan walk in. They'd agreed to meet, but the other man had been running late.

"So? What do you think?" Morgan asked, grinning as he glanced around.

"I don't know," Reid said, running his hand through his hair. He'd have to get it cut again.

"What do you mean, you don't know? Reid, it's perfect," Morgan protested, now frowning. "It has enough bedrooms, a big backyard for the kid, built in bookshelves for your ridiculously large collection of books… What more do you need, exactly?"

"I don't know. Maybe- Maybe it would be better if Annabelle got the house on her own."

Morgan raised his eyebrows. "Reid, if this is about guilt… I don't think she blames you. And you were forced into that situation, same as her. She's indicated that this is what she wants," he said. "Either way, if this is how you feel, you need to talk to her about it."

Reid didn't reply. How could he? Morgan was trying to help, but he didn't know everything about the situation. He didn't know that Annabelle was still going to anonymous meetings to deal with what had happened to her, he didn't know that she still had nightmares. She had never seemed afraid of him, however counterintuitive that was, but…

"You're right," he said instead. "I'm just… nervous." It was a little more than that, but it wasn't like he could tell Morgan everything.

Morgan smiled sympathetically, and proceeded to look around the house. Reid knew the other man was right, of course; the house was perfect. It was located in a calm neighborhood, there was a playground and a park within walking distance, and it had all the specifications Reid had been looking for. But he was still hesitant.

"Look, kid, if you want it, you're going to have to make a bid pretty soon. A house like this isn't going to be on the market for long," Morgan said, just as the realtor stepped into the room.

She looked apologetic. "He's right, I just received a bid that's just below the asking price."

Reid bit his lip. The house wasn't cheap, of course, but with his own frugal lifestyle and Annabelle's savings, he was pretty sure they could afford it. "Then I guess I'll have to make a higher bid."

/*/

Packing up all her stuff again proved easier than the last time she'd had to do that. After all, she hadn't lived in her apartment long enough to accumulate a bunch of junk. Although, with all the baby clothes Matthew had already grown out of taking up their fair share, she definitely had more boxes this time around.

Spence had already moved his things into the house, and put whatever he wasn't using in storage. She and his team had helped him get everything situated last weekend. Annabelle had been in charge of getting everything in the right place, while Penelope and JJ took turns watching Matthew.

"Oh, please tell me you're throwing this away."

Annabelle looked up at the small matte glass statuette Lizzie was holding. Her sister had come over for a few days to help. How a workaholic like Lizzie had managed to take 3 days off still baffled Annabelle, but she wasn't about to complain. "Of course I'm keeping that, it was gran's. I'll just have to put it high enough that Mattie can't get at it."

The baby in question was sitting in his pen, stuffing his bunny into his mouth, while grabbing at the stuffed octopus Penelope had gotten him. At six months old, he'd only recently started sitting up, and he was absolutely fascinated by the world around him.

Lizzie rolled her eyes, but dutifully rolled the statuette up in newspaper wrapping and carefully placed it in a box. "I still can't believe you're moving in with that guy already. You barely know him."

"It's not like he's an axe murderer, Lizzie, he works for the FBI. And he's on a team of profilers, so it's not like he could hide that," she said pragmatically. She did know Spencer, he'd never hurt her. "He makes me feel safe," she whispered as an afterthought.

Lizzie put down the books she was taking off the shelf and looked at her. "Do you like him?" she asked bluntly.

This was so not a conversation to have while sitting on the ground, surrounded by stuff, so Annabelle got up, dusted herself off and headed for her kitchenette. She still had a handful of things in there, so she grabbed two mugs and set about making tea. "Honestly? I'm not sure," she said, avoiding her sister's gaze. "I think I do, but I'm… scared to put any kind of label on it. Matthew comes first, for both of us. If… if something were to happen between us, we have to make sure it's because of us, and not this weird situation we're in."

Lizzie took the seat next to her - on cushions on the ground, seeing as the table and chairs were already gone. "At least you're thinking about this logically and not jumping into things. Though I can't say I approve."

Annabelle rolled her eyes again. "He's a good man, and the father of my child, he's hardly a random guy I picked up off the street," she said. "Besides, like I said, Matthew comes first. I know I've had some whirlwind romances in the past, but that can't happen now." She couldn't afford to make any mistakes this time. And… Spencer was worth waiting for.

A sound at the front door distracted her for a moment. When she glanced over, she saw that someone had pushed a letter under the door.

Frowning, she went and picked it up. It wasn't a letter, but rather a postcard from D.C. with only one word on the back. "Zugzwang?" she muttered.

"What?" Lizzie asked.

"Nothing, just… a weird postcard," Annabelle said, even as she opened the door to peer into the hallway. The address hadn't been written on the postcard, though it was addressed to Spencer Reid, so it must have been hand delivered. She'd ask Spence when he came by that evening.

"Anyway," she said, turning back to the conversation, "nothing's happened yet, and I'm not even sure Spence feels the same way. Every time I try to take a step forward, he takes a step back. I'm pretty sure that's not the best sign."

"Hm… And what will you do if he meets someone? Or you do?" Lizzie asked.

Her sister, ever asking the difficult questions. "I guess… we'll deal with that if and when the time comes. But I'm not ready to start dating, so it won't be a problem from my end."

"You're not ready to start dating unless it's Spencer, you mean?" Lizzie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You know, it's really annoying to have a sister who's as relentless as you," she muttered. "It's different with Spence. There's no awkward telling him I have a son, and am living with his father. And… I already know Spence."

Her sister hummed again. "Just… be careful. And call me. I want updates, especially about that little bean," she said, grinning at her nephew. "You know, if you ever need the weekend or something, I could take him. I'd make sure I wouldn't be on call."

After their little tea break, Lizzie and Annabelle made good time getting the rest of Annabelle's stuff packed up and loaded into the moving truck parked outside. Annabelle had been moving stuff into boxes for weeks, ever since Spence had shown her the house he'd bought. It was gorgeous, and exactly the kind of place she could see herself raising her son.

Spencer and Derek joined them when they got off work that evening. There was some playful flirting going on between the latter and Lizzie, but Annabelle managed to keep them on task. And If Morgan offered Lizzie a ride to her hotel, Annabelle didn't comment on it, other than to raise an eyebrow at her sister.

And then, finally, finally, they were alone in their new home.

Morgan had helped her put her bed back together again, so she at least had a place to sleep. There were still boxes everywhere, but Annabelle thought they'd managed to get all the essentials out.

"I'm going to buy plants tomorrow," she announced as she munched on the last of the pizza they'd ordered.

Spence grinned at her. "Big plans?"

"I mean, I need to go drop off the keys to my apartment to my landlord anyway, so I might as well. Don't worry, I have a list," she said, glancing over at Matthew. He sat in the high chair he was finally big enough for, once again chewing on his bunny, with the octopus in his other hand. "Do you need anything? Other than groceries?" she asked, turning back to Spencer.

"Not off the top of my head," he replied. Taking another slice himself.

Annabelle leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes briefly. She was exhausted after hauling stuff around all day, but she also wasn't ready to go to sleep yet. Especially since Matthew finally seemed to be falling asleep. He'd be sleeping in her room until they had a chance to paint his nursery.

"I'll go put Matthew to bed, you want to pick out a movie?" she asked, getting up and carefully lifting the baby into her arms. "Anything in English, please. Or French," she added as an afterthought. He'd tried to get her to watch some 3 hour Russian movie once before.

Matthew, thankfully, went down easily, with only minimal fussing.

When she got back, she grinned at the tv screen. "I take it you liked the books?" she asked, curling up on the couch next to him.

Spence seemed a little sheepish. "I know it's a kid's movie, but I wanted to know if it was a good adaptation of the book," he explained.

"Well then, off to Narnia we go," she said with a grin, pulling one of the throw blankets over her lap.

She was exhausted though, so they'd barely made it to the Beavers' house when she fell asleep, her head leaning on Spence's shoulder.

/*/

Looking back, he couldn't remember what he dreamt about, but he had the feeling it had been pleasant, and that Matthew starred in it somehow.

As Reid slowly drifted back to wakefulness, he felt very warm and comfortable. Something tickled his nose, which was probably what woke him up in the first place. Distantly, he felt a little worried that he'd missed his alarm, but the thought didn't really stick in his morning haze.

Slowly cracking open an eye, he was presented with a view that he definitely hadn't expected. Annabelle was lying snuggled against his chest, her head on his shoulder, her hand fisted in his shirt. Their legs were tangled, and her hair was what had been tickling his nostrils. Sometime during the night they must've rearranged themselves in a more comfortable position.

Reid was fairly sure he was blushing, but he couldn't see an immediate escape from this situation. He couldn't move without waking Annabelle, but he also didn't want her to wake up to find herself nestled on top of him.

Though he was extremely comfortable, he was desperate to get out and started squirming, which is probably what woke Annabelle up.

"Spence?" she muttered sleepily, rubbing her eyes. She opened her eyes and looked into his. In his panicked state, he couldn't speak. She stared at him for a second, before realizing their position. She winced and sat up, moving away from him. A tiny part of Reid was a little hurt that she moved away, but he shoved that thought away quickly before he had time to examine it. He jumped off the couch and moved as far away from her as he could, without leaving the room.

"Spence?" Annabelle asked, confused. She got up from the couch and moved closer. "Are you okay?"

"No, I don't-" Reid started, but stopped himself. He needed to calm down and take a few deep breaths. Yes, that would return everything to normal.

"Spence," Annabelle said, stepping closer.

Reid held up his hands. "Stop! Just – just stay there!"

Annabelle held up her hands in surrender. "Okay. Spencer, just tell me what's wrong."

He ran a hand through his hair. He couldn't explain, she wouldn't understand. She'd think he was a monster. 'But that's what you are, isn't it?' a little voice asked in the back of his mind. "I – I'm not a monster," he managed to say, sounding out of breath, even to his own ears. His heart was racing, and he realized he might be having a panic attack.

"Of course you're not!" Annabelle protested vehemently. "Where did you get that idea?"

"I… What I did to you… it wasn't right." It was the first time since Matthew was born that they'd said anything about that night. And what a time to bring it up, on the first night they'd be spending in their new home.

"Spence, we went over this, I don't blame-" she started, but Reid interrupted her.

"You don't understand!" he shouted. "I – I had to do it, I know that, but…"

"But what?" she asked gently. Reid couldn't look her in the eye. How could she still be so calm? How could she even stand to be near him? "Spence, what is it?" she insisted.

"I enjoyed it!" he screamed.

A/N: Yup, we're getting real now.

Though, as you probably noticed, no Maeve in this fic. Wouldn't really make sense for Spencer to keep up a secret relationship with someone when he has a baby and Annabelle at home. So, consider her nonexistent in this fic.