Let's Put It Back Where it Belong

by: AW

Part VIII

Rated: MA

Pairing: J/C, P/T

Summary: Re-write of everything after Equinox

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or episodes, but the story however twisted is mine.

Date: August 2004

Length: 782 words

Author's Note: This happens after Equinox, but assumes that the rest of the series didn't happen as it did.

Chakotay stared blankly at Kathryn. "Me and Ensign Jor?"

Kathryn felt tears coming to her eyes. The final blow to her ego and her life about to come. She silently wept for the child she would never have, the love that would never be and the happiness that would never be accomplished.

Chakotay got a look of stunned disbelief. He understood, she thought that was his baby she was carrying. That he had a baby on the way and had moved on with his life.

A life that was untrue. "Kathryn…that's not my baby."

Kathryn paled. What is going on? What does he mean it's not his baby? What about all the girls, the night visits…Why isn't he mad at me anymore? Kathryn looked to Chakotay.

"But what about all the girls? I saw them…"

Chakotay almost laughed. "I have to tell you about something. You're obviously aware that Ensign Jor is pregnant. Right?"

Kathryn took in a deep breath. "Yes, but if it's not your…"

He looked at Kathryn. "You know I love you right? You know that the reason I was so mad at you is that I love you so much it hurt me when you relieved me of duty. When you didn't trust me enough to listen to me and take my advice right?"

When Kathryn didn't answer he just continued. "That baby is B'Elanna and Tom's. The Doctor removed her uterus but left her tubes intact," he paused. "We were looking for a suitable place for the baby, and someone who would carry another woman's child voluntarily."

Kathryn felt relieved, she hadn't lost him yet. "Oh god Chakotay I'm so sorry." She looked at him intensely. "I just thought that…I mean I just wanted you to…God Chakotay I love you too."

Chakotay smiled. "I can tell you what happened if you'd like, if you want to know the reason I was chosen for this lovely job."

Kathryn laughed, "Chakotay I trust you. I just wanted so badly to make sure that you would still be there for me. Still want me, still want to love me and marry me and…" She stopped.

Chakotay wanted to know what else she was trying to say, he had to make her feel comfortable enough to do that. "And what Kathryn?"

She blushed, "Never mind Chakotay, it's really not important."

Chakotay shook his head. "Well when it does get important, make sure you tell me what it is."

She stepped forward and hugged him. She shyly looked up at him, "Okay, I'll remember that…" And Kathryn turned to leave. "I guess I'd better go and give B'Elanna my congratulations then."

Chakotay nodded and turned to her. "Well I'll come with you if you'd like. I haven't really had much of a chance to talk to them recently."

Janeway nodded and beckoned for him to follow her. "Sounds good Chakotay."

Kathryn shook her head as she slowly made her way out of her quarters. He followed her out, and watched her back as they made their way, together to Tom and B'Elanna's quarters. Something was different about the way she held herself though, it was as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She finally looked happy.

Did he mean that much to her?

Did she love him to that point, where her life would be ruined if he left?

What was the last question…and what? What was the 'and'?

Chakotay just followed her as she made her way to the chief engineer's quarters. Life might be okay after all. After the Equinox incident he wasn't sure that he could ever forgive her, but he had. He had looked past the behavior, he had looked past the blind rage.

After B'Elanna lost the baby, and life had been turned upside down at the expense of everyone, he wasn't sure he could forgive her, but after wrestling his demons he has.

After everything, Chakotay just wasn't sure that they could ever make it work, but maybe they could. Maybe this time apart and the fear of losing the one you love had helped her see that you only had one chance at love and she had almost lost it.

Maybe life would be okay…

Maybe…

END PART VIII

TBC in Part IX