Hey everyone, So this chapter was really emotional for me. I had to dig deep into some of my own past heartache, it may not have been because I lost a lover but because of the things past lovers did to me and made me feel. Hope you all like the chapter. :-)

Chapter 28

Bella's P.O.V

In a Knee jerk reaction I shoved Sam away with as much force as I could muster. Unfortunately for me, that wasn't much force at all. Sam barely moved an inch, just enough for me to break out of his hold. I scrambled off his lap in a frenzy, just staring wide eyed down at him in disbelief.

Shock was my initial reaction, then utter disbelief, it rushed through my system like a tidal-wave through out my whole body to freeze like ice in the pit of my stomach. But that gave way quickly to a sizzling inferno of flames that only anger could create. My blood pressure and respiratory started to accelerate into overdrive, my chest felt like someone had shoved there fist inside it and was clench my heart and making my lungs feel like they couldn't expand even though they were clearly working.

The combination leaving me more confused and hurt than ever before. I stare at him with clear horror written all over my face. How dare he. How could he say that to me!? After everything we have been through, after I finally got him back….he wants me to leave!? No. That is not going to happen. I am the Luna of this Pack. I am met to stand by Sam's side through thick and thin. I may still be a little confused about everything Pack related but I know for sure that the number one main job of being a Luna is to always have their Alphas back! And that's exactly what I plan to do.

I took a deep breath, praying for it to help calm me down before I speak up.

"Leave?...Leave. You want us to Leave YOU!? HOW CAN YOU EVEN SAY THAT TO ME!" I yell out. Disbelief and anger lacing my voice as I start to pace the room back and forth, tangible evidence of my anxiety. Sam did say anything, he just sat on the end of the bed immobile from shock at my big outburst. The only part of him that moved was his head as he observed my jittery strides. I noticed out of the corner of my eye Sam runs his hand through his hair nervously, then rub it over his face and down his neck. God the man was so good looking.

"Kitten-" Sam mumbles but I ignore him. Sam huffs then slaps both his hands harsh against his knees. The loud sound makes me falter in my step but I keep pacing. As I make my sweep back towards Sam he suddenly shoots up and begins to walk in my direction cautiously as if I were a wounded animal back into a corner. He reaches out to grab me but I jerk away.

"Don't touch me!" I spit out as his arms extend out. A swift spurt of guilt goes through me as I watch his face morph into a hurt expression, but this is his fault. How dare he just up and decides to send me and Lucas away like we don't even matter to this pack- as if I mean nothing! Wait...why am I keep this silent when I could be telling him he's being a complete idiot.

"Sam. I've been the acting Luna/Alpha for the last week while you have been incapacitated and I've been doing a pretty damn great job so far! Also have you forgotten that you just woke up from a fucking week long coma and will need some time to get back on your feet! And how dare you, How dare you tell me to just up and leave you when this is the most crucial time for me to be WITH YOU AND SUPPORT YOU!" My voice steadily rising as I spoke to him. My fist balled up in my frustration and I was glaring at him.

Sam slowly nods then looks down and closes his eyes, he started taking deep breaths through his nose, exhaling out through his mouth. "Look, Kitten. I can't have you or the cub here, what if one of you...Spirits forbid, got hurt."

A very unladylike snort comes out of me. My hand interrupts him and I close my eyes in exasperation. "So what, you tell me to leave and I just spend my nights worrying about you and the pack. Making myself sick so that you don't have a distraction?"

"Please baby, you need to understand. I am doing this to protect not only you but our cub Lucas too. How would you feel if your stubbornness got yourself killed? How do you think Lucas would feel being left all alone, he's already lost his Mother and Father, Don't make him lose the only family he has left." God I hate that he was right.

I can't take the risk of leaving him all alone in this world. I'm all he has left. But still, why do I feel like I am being forced to choose between my own brother and my mate.

Because you are. My mind supplies. I role my eyes and give a small frustrated growl as I walk over to the balcony glass doors. Just standing silently next to them as I think.

"Kim and Leah will go with you. I will drop you four off at the Seattle Airport and my brother will pick you all up himself." Sam states matter-of-factly. My head snaps up to look over at him with wide eyes. "I can't change your mind on this, can I?" My voice was broken and a whisper as I turned to look out the window doors, my eyes start to sting, the tell-tale sign that tears were forming behind them.

My heart breaks a little more as I see his reflection in the balcony doors- shake his head in the negative. I know his reasoning is sound and makes sense; that with LuLu and I away safely Sam could focus on Killing James and his Pack of Rogues, But I can;t help but feel so heartbroken, unwanted and helpless to the pack and Sam.

How dare Sam find me and make me fall in love with him. How dare Sam give me the family that I have been missing in the form of this Pack and all the people in it, only for him to take it all away from me.

I had always heard the saying 'it's better to have loved and lost than to never loved at all.' but whomever said that didn't know of such a love like I have for the man standing behind me or for the people that in this pack that Iv come to see as my own.

A love for a man so consuming that the mere thought of being away from the other was and is pure agony. This pain is consuming my mind and the state of grief that is taking over my body was literally causing it to crumple in on itself, it feels like I'm drowning in a pit of lava. Known of this would have happened had he just left me alone. I never would be feeling this heartache if he had just watched me dance and then walked away. It was selfish of him to allow me into his world and then force me away when his past comes back with a vengeance.

Looking out the balcony glass window doors but not really seeing anything I break the heavy silence that fell between up, not turning around to look at his face. "I wish you never came to the club, I wish you never found me and made me love you." The words came out monotone and tasted like vinegar on my tongue and although I thought it and said it, I'm not sure that I meant them. But I felt so betrayed and heartbroken. I wanted to lash out.

"You don't mean that, Bella." Sam's voice was deep, sounded like someone was strangling him by the way he gasped and sputtered through his words. I try with all my might to ignore the plea that laid thick underneath them.

I square my shoulders and take a deep breath. Well theirs nothing more I can do. And with that I turned around -bypassing Sam altogether- and march over to the two small duffel bags that Sam brought out and lane on the bed….our bed. Then roboticly went to the closet, filling it with my clothes then moved to the bathroom to grab my toiletries bag and finally over to my dresser. Wrenching the drawers opens and shoving my panties, bras, leggings and tanks in it. The whole time I fought against the tears, But I lost it when I moved to my vanity to grab my makeup, my eyes landing on the picture frame of Sam, Me and LuLu. It was one of my favorites, it was a candid picture of Sam and LuLu pushing me on the tire swing connected to the Tree-house LuLu loved to play in out in the backyard near the pretty creek.

The tears fell like waterfalls down my cheeks as I picked up the frame, tracing my fingers over the happy smiling faces. God my heart hurts so much. This feel worse then when I was told mom and dad had died. I through the picture into my bag and zip it up.

Sam says nothing as I continue to toss little mementos as well as LuLu's clothes and toys into the duffel, I say nothing in return.

The car ride to the airport was spent in silence, well except for Lucas, who constantly asked about Sam's brother and where he lived. Sam was driving, I chose to set in the back next to Lucas with Kim sitting on the other side of Lucas' car-seat and Leah setting upfront with Sam. He wasn't happy about it but I wouldn't budge on the subject. I needed space from him right now. Looking out the window I notice we drove up to a privet airstrip, It should't have surprised me that Sam would't let up fly commercial. Once Sam parks next to a little puddle jumper jet, I slowly get out of the car and walk to the back of the SUV to pull out our bags, Sam instantly right at my side trying to help me. "Please Kitten, I don't want you to leave like this, upset and hurting and us not speaking to each other," I wiggle out of his grasp and try to walk over to the aircraft. Tingles spread through me as he grabs my arms turning me in to his chest. "I don't want to say this and take the chance of jinxing it but….If this is our last moments together please don't let them be filled with Anger, heartache and sorrow. Lets make these moments the best we can and give each other kisses and hugs and promises of coming back to each other."

My eyes close involuntarily as the back of his fingers brush against my cheeks gently then leans down to leave hot wet kisses over my neck and trail them to my lips, giving me needy, hungry kisses.

The man wasn't playing fair. I needed to be indifferent towards him, it will keep me safe. I needed to become 'Z' again, She was strong, didn't have emotions and wouldn't cray.

Lucas calls out to Sam and just like that, our little needy, hungry, passionate kissing spell is broken. I step away with a heavy heart, pick up mine and Lucas's bags and walk to the front of the SUV.

"Sammy, dose your brother have a wolfy too?" Lucas asks excitedly. Sam looks down at him, the smile he gives my little brother only causes my heart to break even more. There was so much love shining in Sam's eyes towards my baby brother. Sam truly looked upon LuLu like he was his own cub..er...son. Sam squats down to Lucas's level and wraps his arms around his little torso, giving LuLu a long tight hug, burring his nose in Luke's hair taking deep gulps of his scent, imprinting it into him memory before he pulls back and replies to Luke's question.

"Yep, and wanna know something even cooler? Josh has children around your age." Sam tells Luke, smiling at the little guy. Luke's eyes light up at this and starts to jump excitedly.

"Really!? Oh my gosh I so excited now! Let's go! Let's go!" LuLu yells out and starts to run towards the little privet jet. I smile sadly at the little ball of energy.

At least one of us was excited to go. My eyes slowly wonder to where the other two couples were saying there goodbyes. I watch as Leah and Kim cling to their mates. Even though Leah and Paul just met, they both looked utterly heartbroken in having to be separated so soon but clung to each other, Paul kissing every part of Leah he could reach and she burying her nose into any part of visible skin she put see. Kim and Jared were gazing into each other's eyes, arms wrapped around each other like it was the only thing keeping them from floating away.

I grimace, The Guilt floods through me, I forgot that I wasn't the only one being sent away for their protection. That I wasn't the only one whose mate was staying behind to take on some stupid scorned Alpha with sever control issues.

I must have been spacing out because when a warm hand encloses around my own it makes me jump. I look up at Sam, He gazes deeply into my eyes. Then something flashes through his eyes and he yanks me into his arms, burring his nose once more into my hair taking my scent deep into his lungs. A loud rumble started to sound from deep within his chest and he moves to lay his forehead against mine.

"This isn't easy for me, Kitten. I don't want you to go, IT's killing me to let you leave my side. I hate that I have to make my mate leave because I cant protect her and our cub like a proper Alpha should," Sam growls out, then sighs- "But I cant take the risk of James getting his disgusting hands on you or my cub. Josh keeping you both safe and then later get you back into my arms safely home once this is all over, will be my motivation to end this shit quickly." Sam tells me, voice soft with a tone that was only ever revered just for me. I stare up into his eyes. The look on his face gave me the impression he was waiting for a response from me.

"I don't know what you want me to say." I whisper. Memorizing his features and the way he felt wrapped up in my arms, so close to me. I lean into his embrace and breath in his scent. Also committing it to memory. Who knows how long it will be before we're reunited together again.

He frowns a little but I can feel his arms tighten around me. He tilts his head back -neck at a awkward angle- "Kiss me and tell me you love me and that I better not die or else YOU will kill me." He finishes wit ha somewhat humorous chuckle. His breath fans over my cheek and I can't help but miss and ache for him already.

"I love you Sam, more than anything you will ever know or feel and I hate you for making me leave." I then give him a chaste kiss on the lips.

It could have been a longer kiss, where we both feel it seared against our lip skin, But I'm terrified that I won't let him go if I let it get any more heated then that. He wants me to go, I know he is reasonable but the heartache till makes me angry and the hate for this whole situation to fester even more inside me.

"I'm sorry I'm being so bitter and upset. But you Promise me. You Promise me that you'll come back for me." I state as I pull away from his chest and out of his arms. Kim, Leah and I make our way to the plane where Lucas was happily running up and down the stairs.

"Lucas, go say goodbye to the guys." I say sternly. Giving him a look that says *calm down and behave yourself*

Luke rushes down the stairs and over towards Sam first, who catches him effortlessly and hugs the little guy to his muscular chest tightly. Sam whispers something in Lucas's ear before watching Sam walk over to his second in command and third. After the hugs and kisses, LuLu skips happily back over to me, slipping his small hand into mine. I smile down at him as I give his little hand a slight squeeze. We walk up the stairs and into the cabin. I get him settled into a seat near mine, buckling him in securely before buckling myself in.

I lean back into my plush leather airplane seat, leaning my head back and sighing with anguish. God I hate this feeling so much, my heart feels like isn't in my chest anymore -leaving a giant gaping chasm in its wake-

"Hey, Bell's. Sam says to tell you, Promise." My eye pop open -unknown to me that I had closed them or the fact I had begun to cry once again- I subtly whip the tear that slowly leaked out the corner of my eye. Not wanting LuLu to see me crying. I smile down to my little brother, Nodding to him "Thanks bug, so was that what he whispered to you?" I asked softly. Just then the plane comes to life and starts to taxi.

"Yepper, and that I'm the Alpha of our trip and I need to take care of you girls," He states absently while he colored in his super hero coloring book, then looks up with a serious expression. "Don't worry Bell's I wont let anything happen to you or Auntie Kim and Leah."

I lean over and kiss his soft curly hair. "I know baby, my little BIG Alpha." And with that I turned to look out the airplane window, seeing Sam smiling and waving back at me...only it didn't reach his eyes….those where stained with pain and anguish and were wet with tears.

I don't think I've ever seen him cry before. Why dose it feel like this was the last time I'd ever see his face again.