I could feel the blood from where I laid on the floor, where my brothers left me after they got bored with me and couldn't find it in me to move, but knew that I had to get out of this house or one day, they were going to kill me; I wasn't sure I could survive year another ten years, I will be dead long before then.

I was so glad and also dreading my parents not being home as while they were not here to take a turn with me, they will eventually be coming home soon and were going to want a chance at me; they weren't going to care what kind of shape I was in and it certainly wouldn't be the first time that I have been hospitalized by my family because my injuries were so bad, but nothing was never done.

I just wasn't sure where would I go if I even tried to leave, everyone in town knew what my family does to me, yet look the other and see nothing wrong with what they were doing because my family is popular in the football community because of my brothers and didn't want to lose their support and every time I try to go to someone for help, they turn their back on me like it was no big deal.

It wouldn't have mattered if I ran away from them anyway, someone would just bring me back to them for me to be abused as they couldn't have me making my family looking bad by running away, even if I was being abused both physically and mentally though I wasn't important enough to protect, it would only ruin my family socially and that was more important.

I just don't understand how just because my brothers were football stars, that it meant that them playing for the team meant more than me being abused by them everyday as no one wanted to risk losing them and wish someone could just take me away from them; my parents would only care how it would make them look socially than caring about someone taking her daughter away.

That was why I had to get out while I still had a chance, the abuse was going worse as each day goes by and the older I got, the longer the days will go by before I will be fed which is one of the reasons I get desperate enough to steal food and they don't care and could drop dead and will still not think twice about what they've done.

I hate that I was born into this horrid family with parents that didn't want me, making it clear to me from the moment I was born and siblings that take pleasure in causing me pain, with my only fault was for having been born a girl as there was only room for one daughter in this family, my perfect spoiled older sister who could do no wrong, wanting another boy to turn into a football star and I wonder if life would have been different if I had been born a boy, or would I have been like the rest of them?

I knew that if I was to run away in the next year or so as I planned, despite only going to be eight, I probably couldn't stay in Tulsa where I have lived my whole life and wouldn't be able to see my best friend, Piper anymore, but couldn't go to her after what happened when her mother reported my abuse to the police, they threatened to take Piper away as my mother had friends from the state that could do it.

I wasn't upset when she had withdrew her complaint, I understand that she was just wanting to protect her daughter and because they lived on the edge of the Greaser part of town, they had very little money and my parents were using that against her and could easily use that to have her daughter removed for apparently being in 'harms way', but yet I can't leave my abusive home.

My parents literally were well liked and had friends everywhere, so every time I told someone what was happened, they always found out about it before it was reported and it was like they had people watching my every move, feeling suffocated that always reported back to my so called parents who would beat me for doing something that they would disapprove of, like being on the Greaser side of town.

I was personally done caring what they thought of me or trying to get some kind of approval from them, something I learned early on that I was never going to get, even going as far to not dress so much as a girl in hopes that just maybe my father would have some kind of love for me instead of always being disgusted by the sight by me which is why he never turned the light on when he came into my room at night; he didn't want to have to look at me and hated when he came in at night.

It makes me miss my grandmother as she had been the one that used to take care of me when I was young, the only one in my family that had actually ever shown me any kind of love and had lived with her until I was three which was when she had died from cancer and was forced by the state to back back in my parents care, despite my pleas to put me anywhere else, they didn't care or listen and that is when the abuse started.

I loved my grandmother more than anything and if it wasn't for her, I probably wouldn't even know what love was as I have been shown was hate and abuse from the time I was three, and whenever I was forced to visit them while I was still living with my grandmother, they were never pleasant and were always traumatic experiences for me, and it kills me that I can hardly much about her and knew better than to ask my parents for help, they would say I deserve to forget about her.

I was just glad to be getting a break from all of time as they were all leaving for family vacation tomorrow for the next two weeks and couldn't be anymore excited about that and not because I was going as it only for the family and I was not considered actual family, but because I have two weeks of no abuse before school starts in about a month; that was like a vacation to me.

I was slightly bummed that Piper was still with her over strict grandmother that her mother wanted her to spend the summer with, but I was going to have to tell her all about my peace and quiet from my abusive family when she gets back from vacation and I already know she was going to tell me all about her summer and probably wasn't as ruined as she said it would be.

I would rather spend a summer with a strict grandmother, then spending it with my parents and siblings that don't give two cents about me and just get beat everyday, because they believe I deserve it for being worse and I was too young to even stand up to them, they frightened me and knew just how to get to me or I would have run away a long time ago.

My family never cared that I wouldn't come home at nights as long as my services weren't needed and could be gone for weeks sometimes before they would even notice, which was why knowing that my parents were going to be home soon, I knew that I needed to make myself scarce before they got here as I couldn't take another beating right now and after tonight, they will be gone until before school starts and won't have to put up with them as I forced myself to get off the floor.

I tried to ignore the pain as I didn't have much time as I snuck up to the attic where I slept to grab what few belongings I own, pulling my backpack out and stuffing my things in, making sure I grabbed my stuffed rabbit and only doll before heading downstairs towards the pantry and keeping watch for my brothers as getting caught would just earn me another beating and grabbing some canned food to last me for a few days and taking off out the back door and into the neighbors backyard.

It wasn't a moment too soon as I saw my mother's car coming down the street, from where she was coming home from work and waited until she was out of her car before taking off towards the other side of town where the Greasers lived as I knew that none of my family would ever dare try to follow me here, they wouldn't want to be seen socializing with the Greasers and heading towards that abandoned house where no one can come to look for me.

I doubt that they were going to notice me missing me for a while, especially with them busy packing for their trip, glad that they were leaving tomorrow and knew that while my mother said she was going to be giving me another beating when she got home, she would never do it without my father as she knew that he would want a turn with me and can't afford to give me three beatings, they only go so far as to not kill me.

I plan to stay gone from the house until they have long left for their trip and sneak back in after though doubt they were going to leave me with food because knowing my family, they will probably deliberately lock it up so that I can't get in it as punishment as they won't be able to punish me for the next two weeks while on vacation; it was times like these that I missed my grandmother.

As far as my parents were concerned, because I wasn't good at any sports that they used to try to force on me and showed no interest in doing cheerleading, like my older sister, I was worthless and never bothered to get to know me, but the only sports they cared about were football and baseball, the few sports that girls weren't allowed to play at though I was never meant to be a girl and made sure I knew that I wasn't wanted.

I may only be going on eight, but I gave up on caring what my family thought about about me a long time as I learned before I could even walk that they despised me for just existing and nothing I did was ever good enough for them, they only cared about what we could to help them raise in ranks in society, and didn't want some girl whose only skill was artistic.

They never cared about any of my art or what I would make for them when I just wanting to impress them and make them proud of me, they would just rip all my hard work into pieces, leaving me in tears as my art meant more to me than anything and for my own mother to rip up my artwork right in front of my eyes when she knew what all my art meant to me, laughing for being stupid to think that she would want some dumb drawing.

I learned art from my grandmother, having lived with her until she passed away and before she died, Grandma had been an art teacher as well as selling some of her paintings on the side that were popular at the yearly fair though was too young to remember for myself and since I was too young to attend school at the time and couldn't afford daycare, she always brought me with her, teaching me along with her students and learned to love art.

It was also a way to honor my grandmother and that was one thing that my no good family couldn't take away from me and doing art made me feel closer to her and that she was still with me; art was my passion and what was what I was real good at, not caring what they thought about how useless my art was to them, but who cares what they think, I didn't do art for them, it was what made me happy and one of few things that actually does.

I found myself back at that abandoned house on the Greasers side of town, wanting to get as far away from my parents as I could, just in case they decided to come out looking for me for one last beat down before going on vacation which was exactly what I was trying to avoid; I was in enough pain as it was without them helping out even more and just tired of being beat on.

I didn't deserve what I go through, despite them all telling me that I deserve what I go through every single day since I moved in with them and after they come back from vacation, I wasn't planning on coming back and would just stay here, deserving to feel safe for once without getting hit or my father coming at me at night, not being able to do nothing to stop it.

I was free and it wasn't like they actually took care of me anyway, I was just used as their personal servant and being their occasional punching bag when they needed someone to take their anger out on and can't remember the last time that I actually got a decent meal from them; last night with Steve Randle was the first decent meal I got in months, someone who cared that I ate and he wasn't even family or had any reason to help me, he chose to feed me and if he didn't already have an younger brother, I would gladly adopt him as my new older brother.

How much I wished to have an older brother that actually took care of me like my best friend had instead of being stuck with brothers that take pleasure in beating on me for fun, not caring when I am practically lying in a pool in my own blood because of them, when I just wanted my siblings to care for me like so many of friends have, but they would all just laugh in my face if I dared ask for them to do that, maybe even punch me.

It was obvious that I was not going to ever have someone that I can actually depend on and if I was going to fight to be free instead of being a prisoner to my parents, than I was going have to depend on myself to do it and while I may wish to have an older sibling that I could depend on, it was just never going to happen, besides who would want me anyway?

I was just some useless girl.