A/N: Oh, it's been a really long time since I updated. I sincerely apologize. Work has been an absolute madhouse because of Coronavirus and Covid-19. Sorry, all. It's still touch-and-go unfortunately at work for me, but whenever I get some free time, rest assured I'm working on this fic and if I'm not, it's because I'm de-stressing. That said, with everything going on in the world, I finally decided it was time to join Twitter. Yeah, I know. I'm waaaay late to the game on that, but I was late to SPN too and HP, so... yeah. My Twitter handle is at LadyLanera. I'll probably be posting snippets or teasers over there. You know, as proof I'm still around and working on this fic and others. :) And I'll be posting random thoughts, whatever else. I'm still new to the whole thing, so it's a work in progress. As always, I hope you enjoy.
Sibling Rivalries
For a brief moment, Sam felt weightless. Then came the tilt-a-whirl experience. And just when he thought it was finally over, it morphed into the feel of an aerotrim astronauts used sometimes. He spun every which way: up, down, backward, forward, left, right, under, over, this way, and that way. When it finally stopped and he found himself falling hard onto the unforgiving floor of the bunker's galley in front of Dean and their band of misfit angels, he couldn't stop himself. He knelt on all fours and groaned, desperately holding back the contents of his stomach.
"Uh, Sammy?" his brother murmured from the table where he sat beside Cas. "You good, man?"
Was he good? Did he look fucking good?! He groaned, though, inhaling shakily as he felt another threatening lurch from his stomach. No. For now, he'd concentrate solely on making sure not to vomit. He'd tell his brother how much of an idiot he was being later. It could wait.
"I don't know, Dean," a thick British voice stated somewhere off to his left. Oh but of course that asshole had to continue this idiocy. "He does not look well at all right now."
"Yeah. For once I agree with Balthazar on this," Gabe remarked quietly nearby. "Sam? Buddy? What happened?" His tone was light but held a concerned edge to it. "And, more importantly, how the hell did you just appear out of nowhere exactly? You're not an angel, remember, my dear moose?"
A soft, indescribable sound escaped the long-haired man's mouth then in response. Not quite a cry of pain but not a groan either.
"So, well, I guess what I'm asking here is who exactly did you piss off?" The lightness returned. "In other words, who do I need to beat up for this?" The easy smile was no doubt on Gabe's face.
"Roz," Sam moaned, drawing in yet another shaky breath. If the room could stop moving, that would be nice. Or tilting.
"Roz?" Gabe paused for a moment as if confused before he quickly knelt beside Sam, gently resting a hand on his back. The familiar warmth of his Grace seeped in soon after, pushing back the human's queasiness. "Who's Roz, Sam?"
Inhaling slowly, the tall Hunter turned his head fully to the sandy-haired man. Gabe's entire body radiated seriousness. "Your sister. She's the Cherub in charge of the Novak line." He caught the blank look in the amber eyes almost instantly, which caused his stomach to drop again. That was never good. How did Gabe not know her? Maybe he needed to explain more for it to come to the archangel. It did seem like Gabe was only close to a few angels after all. "She's now in charge of the Winchester lines too, and she wanted to speak with me."
"Oh." The man nodded slowly, still clearly not recognizing the name in the slightest.
Dean, however, miraculously was silent, Sam noticed out of the corner of his eye. What was that all about? His brother always was so overprotective in these instances but not this time for some reason.
"Oh come on!" Balthazar huffed then. "I'm a lover too. Why isn't she picking me to match?"
"Likely because you've already gone through half the population," Gabe remarked with a pointed look at the blond.
"Yes? Your point?" Balthazar replied.
"His point, idiot," spoke up a female from the doorway, "is that no Cherub in their right mind, least of all me, would match you. Ever."
All at once, the heavenly brothers' heads whipped towards the doorway.
"Roz?" they all exclaimed. "You're going by Roz?!"
"Hello, idiots." Her boots clicked against the floor near Sam as she approached. "And, yes, I am." She then sighed heavily. "Hello, Dean," she sighed heavily in a rather bored tone.
"Rozlyn," drawled his brother with a quiet chuckle. Wait. What? Dean knew her? Sam's head whipped to his older brother, noticing the relaxed, easygoing stance his older brother had adopted. What the hell? "You're looking particularly lovely today."
She snorted. "Oh, spare me your pathetic lines, Winchester. I've heard them all. Repeatedly."
Sam slowly lifted his eyes up to glance at her then. She was smiling down at Sam, looking rather proud of herself when their eyes met.
"You two have met?" asked the long-haired man through heavy breaths. Gabe's Grace had helped quite a bit, sure, but he still felt like he was on the tilt-awhirl every now and then.
"Yeah. We've met, Sammy," his brother remarked quietly. "She's been a pain in my ass for the past few years now."
Roz scoffed, glancing at her nails uninterested. "Is that all it was? Felt like a lifetime."
Sam noticed Cas's head tilt, wanting to state he seconded that confusion. Dean had been talking to this angel, Cas's sister, for a few years? And they were just now learning about her? His brother had hidden a lot of shitty things during their life, secrets compounded on top of more, but this took top prize. Why hadn't Dean said anything to anyone about this? Given Sam any kind of warning? Like a, 'Hey, Sammy. We have a Cherub assigned to us. Don't freak out. She's sort of cool, but definitely takes no shit from anyone.'
"Okay, that's it," Gabe announced suddenly. All eyes darted to him. "I have to ask." The sandy-haired archangel stared at his dark-haired sister. "Roz? Roz?! You're going by Roz now?! Where the hell did you get that name? And why did you even change it in the first place?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Brother." She clearly wasn't. "Did I need to ask permission before I changed my name? Was that in a memo or something?" she drawled back mockingly. "No? That's what I thought." She then scoffed, rolling her eyes hard. "But if you must know, I got it from Monsters, Inc, a film I'm sure you've never watched considering the filth you usually enjoy."
"Wait. Are you saying—but she's horrible!" the sandy-haired archangel declared. "She's a nasty monster. Why on earth would you want to—No!" Gabe stomped his foot down. "No! I forbid it!"
The dark-haired angel raised a brow, crossing her arms in response. "You forbid it?" she repeated slowly, staring at him as if he had suddenly grown five heads.
"Yes. I strictly forbid it!" the older angelic brother replied, holding his index finger up. "As your big brother and the only remaining archangel—"
"Michael," Balthazar coughed loudly nearby.
"As theONLY good and sane archangel left," Gabriel reiterated firmly, glaring at his blond brother, "I forbid it!"
"Awe. That's cute," she replied derisively. "You think you can tell me what to do." She pressed a mocking hand to her chest. "Awe! But, Gabriel, oh, big brother of mine, you're not Dad. So, you know what?" Her tone quickly drew cold as her eyes narrowed into slits. "You can take your forbidding crap and shove it up your ass. Because I don't need your permission. I don't need anyone's to change my name. And, you know what else?" She then shrugged. "I mean, hello, kettle. Do you still go by Gavriel?" She waited for half a moment before she continued. "Yeah, I didn't think so." She glanced around the room and then shrugged. "So, you know, screw you."
Sam caught Gabe's momentary stunned look and used that moment to push himself up off the floor slowly. Just when he thought this couldn't get more mind-blowing. She was certainly a fierce hurricane. He watched her a moment later walk towards the quiet, withdrawn former angel who was watching her closely from beside Dean at the table. Sam tensed in anticipation.
"Hello, Castiel," she murmured softly. She had spoken so tenderly, so lovingly to her blue-eyed brother. It was the complete opposite of how she had addressed Gabriel.
"Hello," the blue-eyed former angel responded just as gently as she had.
"You've been an idiot, I see. Almost reaching our dear brothers' levels of stupidity in fact." She tenderly pushed his chin back up when Cas glanced down remorsefully. "Though, I like the soul addition. It's a very pretty color on you. Reminds me of those gorgeous bluish-black wings of yours." She then turned to look at Dean for a moment before she smiled inwardly and glanced back at her brother. "So, let's keep that stunning dazzling soul of yours pure, yeah?"
"Not wanting to see paperwork on it come across your desk?" Cas replied with a sad chuckle.
"Exactly!" Her smile widened. "You always were smarter than these two."
"Hey!" Balthazar cried.
"Oh, hush over there, Tweedledee and Tweedledum," Roz drawled lazily, not bothering to look at either Gabe or Balthazar.
"Respect your elders, young lady," retorted the archangel with a huff.
"Know your place, old man!" she shot back with a scoff.
Gabe instantly bristled at that and stood rigid as if slapped. "Dad may have brought you into this world, but I can sure as hell snap you out of—"
She then pointed suddenly at Sam. "Oh, look! Sam's naked!"
Fully clothed, Sam blinked, catching Gabe's wide eyes quickly afterwards. Did he honestly—
"God, you're an idiot," Roz laughed.
"Don't take Dad's name in vain!" grumbled the sandy-haired older brother.
"Why? It's not like he's here, Gabriel!"
"Because I said so, Elizial!"
Oh. So that was her actual name. Wait . . . Sam had heard that name before. Hadn't he?
Two seconds later, the Hunter watched Balthazar shrink back suddenly while Cas instantly pulled Dean closer to him protectively. His eyes narrowed. He glanced at Gabe, finding nothing but annoyance in the angel's eyes. What was he missing? He then looked towards Roz and quickly understood why the others had moved back. He took a step back as well at the sight of the fierce look in the female angel's eyes. Oh, she was not happy!
"My name is Rozlyn now, Roz for short! Not that! Do you understand me, Brother?" Her Grace flared a deep fiery orange in her eyes as large silhouettes of tall powerful wings blanketed the room.
"Oh? We're going to play this game, are we?" huffed the archangel. He rolled his shoulders soon after, bringing his own silhouetted towering wings out to play. His eyes flashed with a deep glowing amber. "I'm more powerful than you are, Sister! Archangel, remember?"
"It's not the size of the wings that matter, Brother, but what you do with them," she replied dryly. "Or didn't Daddy dearest teach you that before he left?"
"You are really trying my patience right now, young lady!"
"What are you gonna do? Punish me?" she mocked. "Snap me into detention?"
Sam's eyes snapped to his brother's. This was not going to be good. Dean was motioning towards him, though, which made his eyes narrow. What the hell was Dean trying to say? He then gasped when Balthazar grabbed a hold of him and yanked him back suddenly.
"You know that volcanic paradise called Hawaii you humans are so fond of?" Balthazar remarked quietly. "With the daily eruptions and destruction that never ceases? Where lava eats and eats and eats more of it all the time?" The blond released him and took a step back. He then motioned at the glaring siblings. "Roz and Gabe."
Rearing back in shock, Sam stared at the angel. What? They did that?!
"Yeah." He sighed heavily.
"What about Death Valley?"
"Oh, that was—" Balthazar cleared his throat suddenly, realizing what he was about to reveal. "No one. That was no one, Sam," the blond answered, avoiding the hunter's eyes pointedly. "At least no one you can prove."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Why don't I believe you?"
"No idea. Deep seeded trust issues maybe?" Amused gray eyes returned his way. "You are a Winchester, after all."
Sam forced a laugh, ducking when something unexpectedly went sailing through the air at them. He was grateful that the blond was able to deflect whatever it was from them. Wait! Was that a fork? He watched it tumble to the ground with a clink. Shaking his head, he glanced back at Gabe and Roz who were glaring murderously at one another. He looked beyond them then to Cas and Dean, noting Cas's pained look. This was likely the last thing the sullen angel needed right now.
"Look," Gabe stated a moment later, regaining Sam's attention. "I don't know where you got this sudden attitude from exactly, Little Sis, but I suggest you drop it! Now! It doesn't make you look cute or any garbage like that! It just makes you—"
"What? Like you?" she remarked with a self-satisfied smirk.
"Excuse you?" the archangel scoffed, taking a step back from as if offended by her words. "I am nothing like this! I am—"
"Posturing for your boyfriend? Acting all tough and protective for him? Shaking those sexy golden feathers for him?"
The bunker suddenly shook violently. She had struck the right nerve it seemed.
"I am an archangel!" Gabriel snarled, full of fury. "You will damn well show me—"
"Yeah?" Her Grace flashed vibrantly back as her wings outstretched ominously. "How about you do your fucking job once in a while then and lead, Gabriel?" she threw back snidely. "You know? Instead of playing House down here with the humans all the time?"
"You don't—"
Stepping into his space almost immediately afterwards with not an ounce of fear registering, she stared down at her sandy-haired older brother. She was at least two inches taller than him by Sam's estimate. The raw power coming off both angels was startling.
"No," she stated coldly. "It's you who doesn't know a damn thing." She scoffed, shaking her head exasperatedly. "Do you know why I'm a Cherub now? Why I gave up being a Seraph?"
Sam's head immediately snapped to Cas. His sister had been the same class of angel as him?
"I don't know. Because you have issues with management maybe?" Gabe tossed back snottily.
"No. It's because there are so few left, smartass." She pushed on when the archangel scoffed. "And someone I love once said to me, 'Why should the humans suffer and not experience love and happiness because of our superiority complexes and egos?"
Gabe took another step back, his smile faltering slightly as his winged silhouettes lowered a bit before he announced, "So, I was right. You do have issues with—"
"You know what? Fine." She threw her hands up into the air. "I don't even know why I try with you. You always have to be right. Always."
Sam watched Gabe's eyes narrow briefly as some emotion briefly flickered across his face before it vanished again and was replaced with a more forced smile.
"Ha! I win again!" The angel clapped. But Sam noticed something he couldn't quite explain. He just knew that Gabe wasn't as happy about this as he was projecting.
"Goody for you."
Roz turned towards the tall Hunter and sighed. She paused for a moment as if wanting to say something to the human, but instead she turned away and headed for the door, her boots quietly clicking against the cement floor.
Sam turned towards the sandy-haired man and watched Gabe fight with himself for a moment. The closer she got to the door, the more Gabe's jaw clenched, as if he was desperately holding back his words. He considered helping the man out, but he ultimately decided against it. Gabriel had to do this on his own. She had just stepped into the hallway when the archangel finally gave in.
"Wait!" Gabe called out, glancing upwards at the ceiling and shaking his head. "Don't go."
"We have nothing more to say to one another, Brother," she replied, stopped in the entryway with her back to them.
"Oh, I can think of plenty of things we can still say to one another, Sister," he retorted glumly. "But . . . I'll be the bigger angel here and say sorry first. I'm sorry, Roz."
She slowly turned back, her eyes flicking over to Sam before returning to her brother. "I'm afraid I didn't catch that. What was that now?"
"I said I'm sorry."
She cupped a hand to her ear. "You're what?"
"Oh, really? Just take the damn apology, will you?" he grumbled.
"I don't know if I can. I mean, it might be similar to, you know, opening the Gates of Hell or something," she quipped.
"Hilarious."
"Glad you find opening the Gates amusing, Brother," she deadpanned, which caused Gabe to groan and roll his eyes again. "Because I don't."
"You're really annoying. You know that, right?"
She finally cracked a genuine smile again, her eyes returning to their rich, warm mahogany and her wings returning to the Ethereal plane.
"Thank you. I learned it from my big, dumb brothers."
Gabe snorted a laugh.
"Sister, must you always call us names?" Balthazar sighed loudly.
"Why? Does it hurt your feelings, Balthy?" she quipped, glancing at the blond.
Sam watched him glare at her in response.
"If I said yes, would you bloody well stop?"
"No." She shrugged casually. "I'd just tell you to grow a pair."
"Grow a pair?" The blond scoffed. "My vessel's testicles are quite large, thank you. Hung like Northern Pacific Right Whale you might say. Want to see?" He moved to undo his belt.
"All right! That's it! I've heard enough!" Dean suddenly shouted over Balthazar. "Will all the non-humans please get the fuck out of here now? Otherwise, I'll be forced to send your feathery, annoying asses flying out of here to Timbuktu!"
Gabe rolled his eyes whereas Roz merely raised a brow. Balthazar didn't even seem to notice as he was still going on about the size of his vessel's genitalia, thankfully not lowering his tight jeans.
"You have to the count of three, Angels! One!"
Cas stood up, only to be yanked back down hard by Dean at his side.
Sam stifled his laugh instantly. Poor Cas.
"Two." The green-eyed Hunter pulled out his pocketknife meeting the challenging looks.
"You're going to have to draw that sigil really fast in order to make this work, you realize?"
"I've had to do it faster," Dean remarked dryly, pressing his blade against his palm. "So, try me."
"Promises, promises," Balthazar sung with a smug grin. "But, I believe, I do need to point out the obvious here." His grin widened. "We're family, Deanie Weanie!"
Gabe picked up from there. "And family don't end in—"
Sam blinked the second Roz, Gabe, and Balthazar suddenly vanished from the room in a familiar bright light. He glanced at Dean, who was also just as confused as he was. If it wasn't him and it wasn't Dean, then who—? Both brothers turned simultaneously to the other occupant, catching the bloody Angel banishing sigil drawn onto the tabletop in front of the blue-eyed, messy-haired man and the bloodied object that he had used. Cas's palm was still down flat atop of his crimson sigil before he slowly pulled it back and smeared the mark.
"Cas?"
"Yes?" murmured the dark-haired man tiredly, leaning his head against Dean's shoulder soon after. As if he hadn't just banished his siblings to who-knew-where by cutting his hand open with a fork.
When Dean didn't elaborate, Sam glanced back to his brother, taking note of the man's faint smile. The spiky-haired man was happy, truly content for once in a really long time. Biting back a sigh, Sam decided to leave them to their peaceful, adorable moment. It wouldn't last long, he knew. They'd be crazy if they didn't think Gabe and Balthazar would return. They were worse than fleas after all.
"Come on, Sunshine," Dean stated with a sigh, gaining Sam's attention again. "Let's wrap up that hand of yours and get you to bed."
"Dean . . ." Cas whined, legit whined.
Sam waited to see his brother's reaction, expecting the usual flicker of annoyance he always got. His eyes narrowed, though, when he saw Dean pull Cas in closer instead and murmur something he couldn't hear. It was obvious that it was something sweet and loving, though.
"You could have that, you know?"
The long-haired Hunter instantly whirled around at hearing the unexpected voice near his ear, ready to karate chop the person behind him. When the person grabbed his arm and easily stopped his momentum, though, he openly frowned.
"Roz."
"Sam," the dark-haired angel smirked back, releasing him shortly afterwards. She had returned quicker than her brothers. She then glanced back at Cas, who was being helped up by Dean. Neither his brother nor the former angel even seemed to have noticed her return. Though, their moments usually ended up like this. Eleven years had taught him that. "I mean it, though. You could have that as well."
The Hunter shook his head, though. Gabe couldn't be his—it was Gabe after all. Take away the false bravado, the sarcasm, the constant humor, hell, the candy even, and what did one get?
"Gabriel," Roz answered with a shrug. "You get my big, dumb brother Gabriel."
Sighing, Sam turned away from the couple, heading away towards his room instead. At the sound of Roz's boots clicking against the floor behind him, he bit back another groan. She was worse than her brother!
"Thank you," quipped the female angel with a wide grin, clearly having heard his thoughts. "My brother's kind of cool. Don't tell him, though. He'll get a big head again. And it was absolute murder the last time this happened."
Sam snorted, rolling his eyes. She definitely had Gabe's sense of humor.
A few moments later, he walked into his room, pausing in the doorway when he caught the sandy-haired archangel stretched out on top of his bed and staring up at the ceiling with a forlorn look on his face. The tall Hunter's head shook in confusion. What the hell was Gabe doing in his room?
"Gabriel! You did get my message!" Roz suddenly called out behind Sam. "Awesome!"
Sam whirled around to her at once. She was responsible for this?
"Now, I'm going to give you two boys some privacy," Roz remarked, grinning widely. "Some, mind you. Oh, and, Sam?"
"Yeah?" he groaned with a heavy sigh, feeling a headache coming on.
"Remember when you told Cas'sKickassLittleSister in a review that you wished Sam and Gabe could work out their shit once and for all with no interruptions. No Cas and Dean crap floating around, just pure Sabriel fluffy delight?"
His stomach dropped in complete horror. How the fuck—
"You're welcome!" The door slammed shut a second later before it vanished completely.
"What the hell?"
Gabe groaned loudly behind him. "I should never have taught you that," he muttered.
Sam whirled back around, his mouth opening and closing several times.
"Yeah. I know." The archangel shook his head. "One time I taught her that, just once. And look what she does. She uses it against me. I don't know whether to be proud or angry by this turn of events."
"She's Cas'sKickassLittleSister?" Sam squawked, finally finding words that had been screaming in his head at that revelation. He had been reading for weeks now fanfiction written by their sister?!
"And mine . . . and Balthazar's. She just likes Cas better for some reason." Gabe crossed his arms and fake pouted a moment later. "When clearly I'm the cooler one here than those two."
The tall Hunter nodded slowly prior to walking further into his room. Whatever Gabe said.
"So . . ."
This was awkward on so many levels right then. What was he supposed to say? 'Hi, this is crazy, but maybe I do like you?' Sam winced as he then heard that catchy pop song from a few years back start playing inside his head. Yeah. He definitely needed that right then.
"Yep." The archangel then sighed heavily, his head flopping back against Sam's headboard. "For the record, I'd snap out of here if I could." His head lulled slowly towards Sam. "But it seems like some brats, though, decided to trap me here somehow."
Sam swallowed slowly, reminded of a scene he had read from a fanfic a few days ago that was similar to this very moment. He knew whatever he was going to say that it couldn't be anything remotely close to "So, you're trapped in my bed?" That wouldn't lead to anything good.
"Um." He cleared his throat sharply, reluctantly meeting the inquisitive amber eyes watching him from his bed. "But I thought only Holy Oil—"
Gabe heaved a heavy sigh and shook his head lightly. "There are other ways, Sam."
"Oh." The Hunter nodded slowly. That made sense he supposed. It wasn't like they knew everything about angels after all. Even though they had practically lived with one for eleven years. Unable to stop his curiosity from taking over again, the question rolled off his tongue. "Like what?"
Gabe snorted in response. His head rolled gradually back towards Sam with mischievous, twinkling eyes. "Like I'd tell you."
Sam forced himself nod jerkily and glanced away. Just because it was eerily similar to that particular scene in one of his favorite Cas'sKickassLittleSister's Sabriel fanfics, it didn't mean that was exactly what was happening here. Because it wasn't. It was just two dudes talking. That was all.
When he heard the bedsprings creak and pop a second later, he inhaled deeply and turned back. At the sight of Gabe moving towards his dresser, he winced, feeling his heart thump widely. What was the angel doing now? He nervously observed, waiting to see what Gabe's next move was. It seemed as if the angel was making a point of keeping his back to Sam now for some reason. And while that did make things a bit easier, it also frustrated him.
He watched the sandy-haired man for a few more moments, taking note of the angel's guarded expression. Had he done something? Other than read shameless fanfics that he was solely starting to accept maybe should have been his first clue to that he might possibly, maybe, liked Gabe more than a friend, more than this.
God—no—not that—this was stupid. This was Gabe after all. And they needed to talk. They did. While he knew where the heavenly being, older than the galaxy itself, stood on this particular issue, he didn't know if Gabe could tell that there was a fundamental shift happening between them. Or maybe Gabe did, and he was just choosing to ignore it for some reason? Being chivalrous or something?
"Gabriel?"
"Yeah?"
The sandy-haired man didn't turn towards him, though, which only caused Sam's insides to knot further. Wait. Had he really done something wrong? Was that why Gabriel wasn't acting like himself right now? Because now that Sam was entertaining it, it wasn't—gah! He sighed inwardly, brushing back his long hair. He didn't like this. Not one bit. His mind ran circles inside, looking for every reasonable explanation to justify what was going on right then.
"What's wrong?"
"Hmm?" The archangel was standing in front of a photo of the Winchester brothers and their mother. All three subjects were happy, clearly sharing some laugh about something together. Cas had taken the photo a few years back.
"You're calling me Sam, Gabe." He might as well get this over with and confront it head-on. "You never call me that. It's always Sam-isicle or Sam-ado, Sam-I'd-do or, hell, Sam-of-my-Dreams." Amber eyes instantly darted to him in surprise. "You never call me just Sam, though. Never."
The older heavenly being forced a quiet, amused laugh, though. His hand flicked back in obvious dismissal of Sam's claims. Only when his hand unexpectedly collided with an object and sent it hurtling to the floor a second later did he look slightly unnerved. The frame cracked, splintering the glass almost instantly. Gabe groaned quietly, low enough Sam nearly had to crane his neck to hear it.
"Damn it," muttered the archangel under his breath, stooping low and picking up the broken picture. He snapped his fingers soon after, and the frame and glass were good as new again. With more tenderness than Sam had ever seen from the angel before, Gabe gently set the photo back in the same spot on the dresser, hesitantly meeting the taller man's eyes. "Sorry."
Sam blinked in response. No. This wasn't right. At all. Something was really wrong here. Maybe Roz had learned how to control like Chuck could or something? Maybe they were all under a spell. Maybe this wasn't real but a dreamscape or something. He opened his mouth to say something, noticing a brief look flicker across the older being's face before it vanished once more. That look, whatever it was—it haunted Sam, punched him right in the gut. He couldn't remember a time when he had seen the angel look so—maybe after they had found out he had been held captive by Asmodeus and tortured? He didn't know. He just didn't like seeing that look on Gabe's face. He knew that for certain.
"Talk to me, will you?"
Gabriel's brows furrowed, and his head minutely tilted. "About what?"
"Whatever the hell is going through that head of yours," Sam practically shouted back, completely frustrated by the whole situation. "Did I do something wrong?"
Gabe jerked back in surprise. "What?"
Sam pushed forward, though. If they could talk about whatever this was, they could fix it then. And then everything would return to being normal and good again. Maybe. "Is that what's happening here? I met your sister and now—"
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Gabe's hands flew up frantically as he stared back in shock. "This has nothing to do with E—Roz." He quickly had caught himself in time somehow. "Trust me. She's the furthest thing from my head right now."
"Then what is this?" The question danced upon the tip of his tongue, held back by mere strands.
"Uh . . . two people talking?" Gabe shrugged nonchalantly.
"I'm serious, Gabriel. What is this?" He motioned between the two of them, stepping towards the archangel. "You never call me Sam. And you've been—I don't know—it's like I don't even know you right now. Like I'm talking to someone else who just looks like you."
Amber eyes silently watched him for a minute. Gabe's face relaxed slightly before a soft, unamused laugh rumbled out. There was a hint of anger bubbling underneath.
"For once, Sam, it's not about you."
"Then, what is it about?" He approached him slowly. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" Gabe repeated dryly before he threw his hands up and scoffed. "Oh, I don't know. How about the fact my kid brother has been sneaking around, hiding and lying about the fact he can't sleep for a week now, and I didn't even notice it? I'm a goddamn archangel, and I didn't even see he was having a problem. Because you know what I was doing instead? I was flirting with you, Sam."
"I didn't notice either, Gabriel."
He batted that comment away with a scoff. "That doesn't matter."
"Why?" Sam pushed, taking a few more steps towards him. "Why doesn't it? I'm just as—"
The words exploded suddenly, filling the air with an unfortunate heaviness. "Because he's not your brother! He's mine!"
"Yeah, well, he happens to be one of my best friends," Sam threw back, shaking his head. No one could rile him up quite like Gabriel unfortunately. "But that's neither here nor there right now, Gabe. We both messed up. Hell, Dean didn't even seem to notice it, and they're sleeping together."
Amber eyes darted away in a flicker of annoyance briefly. "You don't get it, Sam."
"So, explain it to me then." He shrugged languidly. "What don't I get?" He moved his head slightly to make sure to catch the amber eyes. "Because from my point of view—"
"I left him, Sam." Gabe's voice was low and shaky. "I left him. Him and Balthazar. And Roz—though, let's be honest, she never really needed me. Still doesn't. I left him, though, and no matter what I do, it's not going to fix that hurt. I know this. I do. Because . . ." His head shook when his voice cracked. He took a deep breath and then tried again. "I loved my brother, Sam. I really did. And somewhere deep down I probably still do on some level. And I'm not talking about Castiel right now either," he admitted with a heavy sigh. "When Michael ordered me to cast Lucifer down with him, I-I froze." He glanced upwards hesitantly before he continued. "Lucifer was my brother, Sam. The one who would tell Michael to knock it off when he and Raphael would take their torture too far. At least that was until the Mark happened."
The hazel-eyed, long-haired Winchester brother stood firmly rooted to the ground, unable to move. A hug wouldn't be nearly enough for the pain Gabriel was revealing. He knew that. Just like he knew Gabe needed to get this out.
"And then it hit me. What was to stop Dad from asking me to do the same to Cas, to Balthazar one day? So, yeah, I froze—and then I ran. I rushed to where Balthazar was, shouted at him to look out for Cas, to keep him safe while I was gone. I shouldn't have done that. Cas was my responsibility, my obligation. Not Balthazar's. But I did."
How many times had Sam heard Dean say something similar about himself over the years? Or how many times was it vice versa? He swallowed down his heart that threatened to leap out. Oh, Gabe.
"I didn't even stop to think about Roz. I didn't. She's never needed me. In fact, we always were at each other's throats. She didn't like how hands off I was with everyone but Cassie. She claimed I was always hardest on him, and maybe she was right. Maybe I was. But I didn't want him to end up like me, you know? I wanted better for him."
"Gabriel—"
"No, Sam. I need to get this all out. All right? I get so close and then I stop. And, you know, maybe it'll show you what kind of asshole I really am."
Sam's eyes closed, as his heart clenched.
"I get why your brother is overprotective with you. Why he gets irritated with me. I do. Because he and I—we both had to be more than just big brothers to you brats. We had to step up, absent fathers and all that crap." He started to pace with a pained look. A few times, he paused and glanced at Sam before he continued his frantic walking back and forth. It was a good three minutes before he spoke again. "I'm not saying I consider myself Cassie's father or anything like that, but I told you before. I favored him, Sam. I still do." He sighed loudly, hanging his head as his fingers slid through his hair rather frustrated. "It's why this is so maddening. Because I was here this time. I was stepping up, but, you know, also respecting Dean and that whole mess of a bond thing they have going on."
The younger Winchester's brows furrowed at that remark. Mess of a bond thing?
"So, I thought it was making a difference, that he understood I—" Gabe tugged on tufts of his hair suddenly and groaned. "It would kill me if something happened to him. I mean, that hunt we did awhile back—I so badly wanted to snap us all out of there. To get us back to the bunker. To be like, fuck it, we don't have to save everyone all the damn time. But that's not who you guys are. That's not who my brother is anymore. So, I pulled back, let Dean worry about him and focused on keeping you safe instead." He scoffed angrily. "Course we saw how well that turned out."
Sam nodded slowly, unable to think of anything to say.
"And then he got sicker and sicker . . . and . . . I knew he'd be fine. He had to be. I couldn't come back just to have my insides ripped out and shredded, right? I mean, Dad's a fucking dick, sure, but—" He let the thought drop instantly, his words cutting out sharply. "And I knew the bond between them, our brothers—that bond would keep him alive. Maybe at the detriment of your brother—"
Sam reared back with large eyes. What?
"But that was a risk I was willing to take. Because their bond is strong, ingrained in their very beings. I don't even think Dad could break it if he wanted to honestly." He shrugged neutrally. "Though, that's what you get when you take one human's flayed soul, tortured for forty years in Hell, and combine it with the Grace of an angel created not only by God himself but also his awesome big brother archangel." Amber eyes locked onto the hazel. "We talk—or maybe you did—about the horrors Dean must have gone through. That you went through during your experience in Hell. But I doubt anyone has ever even considered what it'd be like for an angel like Cassie to fight through the hordes of demons, hellspawn, hellhounds, you name it, to reach your brother. The amount of pain he had to endure, the blood he shed, the feathers that blackened from Hell's inferno. Not to mention, the agony of seeing your brother's broken soul in a place like that in the first place."
Now that he mentioned it, Gabriel had a point. They never once asked Cas about that. At least Sam never had. And Cas had gone multiple times to Hell for them. Not to mention all the trips up to Heaven where Sam knew he had been tortured there as well. They just assumed that his trips to Hell was like any other horrific place for the angel, something he could compartmentalize away neatly in order to complete his mission. But what if he hadn't all these years? What if he just had gotten really good at hiding his emotional trauma, thanks to them and their idiotic emotional constipation?
"Their bond, Sam—it's strong, not because of their love for one another, but because that sort of bond is created from terrible pain. It's soaked in their mixed blood and respective tattered soul and Grace. It's the type of bond you never want to make." Gabe's eyes held a haunted, heartbreaking look. "They warn you about it up there in Heaven. Dad personally warned me about it in fact."
Sam blinked in surprise. What?
"Because, you see, I wanted to rescue Luci once," admitted the youngest archangel. "Because I didn't think my big brother was beyond saving. He couldn't be. This was Luci. The one who taught me how to fly. How to prank Michael. Who taught me what it meant to be a brother."
"Chuck visited you after you left to become Loki?"
"Once. Yeah." Gabriel scoffed, shaking his head with a disgusted look. "He wasn't quite set on his Chuck alter ego then, so he was still Dad, ball of intense light and crap."
Sam stared at the archangel for a few moments, reeling with this new information. Chuck had visited Gabriel? He had actually made the effort to show himself to Gabe? Somehow, Sam had a feeling that was monumental intel. That it was extremely important.
"Gabe, Chuck met with you after—do you realize—Gabriel!"
"It's not that big of a deal, Sam," he huffed dismissively. "So, Dad visited me. So what?"
"After he left, he didn't show himself to any of the others. He just talked to Joshua every now and then to relay his orders. He actually met with you, though. Came out of hiding and met with you."
The sandy-haired man sighed heavily and shook his head again. "And, again, I say 'So what.' So, he met with me. Do you know what he said? He gave me a lecture, Sam. Like always. Told me to stop being so weak and open my eyes. That if I rushed to the cage and helped Luci escape, I'd be the one responsible for Earth's ultimate destruction. That I would lose myself in the process. That the bond that would come out of my saving him—it'd break me. So, I did what I always do, and I gave up. I left Luci there. All because Dad said so."
"Gabriel, think about it. Why you? Why visit you?"
Amber eyes narrowed on him. "I don't know. Dad was bored."
"But why you? Why not Michael, his most loyal? Or Raphael, his most—"
"Sadistic asshole of a son," remarked dryly the youngest archangel.
"I don't know. Maybe I'm just trying to come up with some sort of explanation and there isn't one, but what if it was because he knew you were the one he had to worry about?"
"That's ridiculous. Me? A thing to worry about?" Gabe forced a mirthless laugh. "Sam-auron, you're clearly suffering from some form of insanity there if you think Dad thought that. I was the least of his problems."
"Or not. He created Castiel for you. Right?"
"Yeah, and . . . ?"
"Did he ever do that for any of the others?"
"Well, no, but it's not like any of my brothers gave a damn about anyone but themselves."
"Exactly. But you did. You've shown over the years how—I don't know how else to say it—human you are. Just look at Cas and Balthazar. They're close to you, and it sounds like you had a help in making them into the angels they are . . . or were in Cas's case. Hell, even your sister has moments of humanity in her."
Gabe raised a brow. "She'd likely kick your ass for that comment. You do realize like that?"
"Yeah, sure, but right now I'm not necessarily worried about that."
"You should be," remarked the shorter man with a whistle. "She's pretty fierce. She once took on one of the Grigori because she didn't like the way he looked at her. Ask Balthazar if you don't believe me. And she once kicked the crap out of a Rit Zien when he came too close for comfort to Cas. Course I was right there beside her too. Damn idiot nearly smote him, thinking Cassie was too gravely injured after a stupid practice session went wrong. As if a few broken wings were the worst injury little bro ever had." Gabriel smiled inwardly at likely the memory. "That damn kiddo was accident prone. So bad, in fact, I considered bubble wrap and duct tape with him. You know, if it was around back then."
Sam felt the corner of his lips curl upwards, momentarily distracted. He enjoyed these moments.
"But, come on, though. I'm obviously not the one Dad ever had to worry about. I run. That's my go-to in every situation I've ever been in."
"You said it yourself, though. You didn't run this time. You're overcoming that instinct, Gabe."
"Yeah? And then? Then what, Sam? I miraculously somehow kick the crap out of Dad?"
"I don't know." He shrugged. "But it's something to consider." He motioned with his hands. "After all, we survived this long off dumb luck. Maybe we'll get a break again."
"Or maybe this is just a red herring of Dad's to make you think I'm the one you need when it should have been someone else entirely. Hell, it could be Roz for all we know, Sam."
"Maybe, but we still need to consider the possibility before we discredit it entirely."
"Fine," groaned the shorter man. "But it's stupid for the record. I wasn't Dad's favorite. Luci was. I was just there. Like Raphael was. I had no big—"
"Ugh!" a voice rang out loudly. "You've got to be kidding me. Seriously, you two?"
"Roz?"
A moment later, the dark-haired angel stepped into the room, seemingly entering from some hidden door she had created. She glanced at them and crossed her arms with an annoyed look.
"Sam, I mean, really?!" she complained, waving her arm emphatically at him. "You couldn't just take the win. You couldn't just be like 'Oh, Gabriel. You have me all sorts of messed up that I can't think straight anymore." Her voice was too high to be his, but he knew better than to correct her. "Oh no! No. Instead you have to be like one of your damn monsters sucking the last bits of marrow out, don't you?" She then pointed at her older brother. "And you!"
"What'd I do?" Gabe asked with a scoff. He glanced at Sam, who merely shrugged.
"You entertained him! I mean, seriously, Gabriel! You couldn't just keep your mouth shut until after you two talked. Of course you couldn't. Who am I kidding? It wouldn't be you if you could."
"Hey!"
She shook her head angrily, however, and threw up a hand. "Whatever. I give up. You two idiots can remain in your blissful, stupid, ignorant fictional worlds until end of time for all I care." She whirled around, her long hair fanning out gracefully behind her as she turned away from them. "If you need me—and I strongly suggest you fucking don't—I'll be with Annael."
"Doing what?" remarked her sandy-haired older brother with furrowed brows.
"Shopping away my rage at you two dumbasses." She then turned back with a fierce look. "You got a problem with that?"
"Nope." The word was said in utter seconds.
"Good." She huffed and snapped her fingers, vanishing again from the room.
Sam winced before he slowly glanced towards the archangel. His door still hadn't reappeared in its usual spot. "I don't suppose she undid her spell or whatever it is on you, did she?"
Gabriel paused for half a second before he sighed and shook his head. "Doesn't seem so."
Snorting, the hazel-eyed man shrugged. "Didn't think so." They couldn't be so lucky.
"Sam?"
"Yeah?" He reluctantly turned towards the archangel again.
"Was she right, though?" A wry smile cracked the corner of the sandy-haired man's lips.
"About?"
"Do I, quote unquote, have you all sorts of messed up that you can't think straight anymore?"
Sam's eyes darted away instantly, feeling his cheeks flush slightly. "Shut up, Gabriel."
"Your wish is my command, my sweet, beautiful moose of Kansas," he drawled back with a wide shit-eating grin. "But just remember. You're my moose."