A few days later was the funeral, something I had been dreading. I had only gotten through the last few days using the various vials that had been stashed in the house and forgotten. I rested my hand on the side of our wedding caravan that was now Johns casket as people rested flowers and letters on the surrounding wood. "We're like sitting ducks here if the wops come." Finn said from somewhere behind me. "Yeah, well, Tommy said we should do it in the open." Uncle Charlie countered as he came over to me. "Come on, Evie girl. It's about to start." He told me, gently pulling me away from the caravan. I stood alone with him, Finn and Michael just behind me and the rest of the family loosely gathered around as Tommy started, Arthur at his side.
"This is how John wanted to go. On this smoke and the truth is we died together once before." I kept my chin up as he spoke, letting the tears freely streak down my face. "Arthur, me, Danny WhizzBang, Freddie Thorne, Jeremiah and John. We were cut off from the retreat. No bullets left, waiting for the Prussian cavalry to come and to finish us off. And while we waited Jeremiah said, 'We should sing, In the Bleak Midwinter.' But we were spared. The enemy never came. And we all agreed that everything after that was extra. And when our time came, we'd all remember." Tommy said, looking around at the gathered group. "You remember that God spared you." Polly said, her voice shaking. "But what did you do with that extra time that He gave you, eh, Thomas?" she added and Tommy lowered his head.
There was a brief moment of silence before Arthur walked to the caravan, sparking a match and throwing it into the wood. It caught flame instantly and the group started backing away from the growing heat but I stayed firm, watching the flames engulf the caravan as I felt the heat on my skin. I closed my eyes as the heat grew, silently wishing it would take my soul with his but I was pulled back and when I opened my eyes I was a safe distance away, standing between Finn and Arthur.
Everyone dropped to the ground when a shot rang out but I stood firm, barely flinching and noticing Tommy and Arthur were also still standing. A hand in mine quickly tugged me to the floor and into the arms of a crouched down Finn. "At ease. At ease. Do not return fire. I repeat, do not return fire. Stand down." Tommy shouted and we all looked up at him in confusion. "The men doing the firing are on our side." he added and we all slowly got up from the ground. "I took the trouble of getting an invitation to Aberama Gold." he told us and I looked at him in disbelief. "Oh, fuck! Now it's begun." Johnny muttered but my blood boiled. "You used Johns funeral and everyone here as bait?" I asked, disbelief in my voice. "You knew the Italians would take a go and you put us out in the open on purpose." I accused him, shaking my head at him. "We were never in any danger, Evie." Arthur told me, taking a few steps towards me. "You knew about this and let it continue?" I asked, looking at Arthur. "You used your own brothers funeral fire as a trap." I added and looked at the pair in disbelief.
"I want you all to go. Leave." I told them before looking around at the group. "Just fucking go!" I shouted but nobody moved. I eyed Isaiah beside me and quickly reached into his jacket, taking his gun. I cocked it and aimed it at Tommy. "Go away." I told him lowly. "Leave me alone." I added. The group started dispersing but I knew certain people weren't going to leave. Tommy, Arthur, Finn, Michael, Ada and Polly all had their eyes trained on me as Tommy raised his hands slowly in surrender. I pointed the gun at myself. "Get the fuck out of here or I swear to God I will pull this trigger and join John in his fate." I told them, tears streaming down my face. Everyone looked at Tommy. "Let's give Evie some space." He told them, his eyes on mine. They all slowly backed away and I lowered the gun, turning to the burning caravan once more. I took a few steps towards it until I could just about bear the heat and sat down. I watched the smoke and flames as they took my John away.
I don't know how long I was sat there, watching the flames, but it was growing dark when I felt a blanket being put around my shoulders and Finn and Isaiah dropped down either side of me. I put my head on Finns shoulder and Isaiah took my hand in his, entwining our fingers and giving my hand a squeeze. "Are you both okay? Have you eaten?" I asked after a few moments. "Yeah, we're fine." Finn replied. "You need to eat something though." he added. "I need a drink." I chuckled lightly. "Rum?" Finn asked as I took my head off his shoulder and I nodded. "Please, love." I said and moved my head to Isaiah's shoulder as Finn went to get me a drink.
"Are you gonna give me my gun back?" Isaiah asked with a light tone. "If you can do something for me." I replied, lifting my head and looking into the confused teenagers face. "I need snow." I told him, watching his reaction. He looked away from me. "Come on, Evie." he muttered, torn. "Please, Isaiah. You know I wouldn't ask if I weren't desperate. I need something to get me through the next few weeks." I told him, keeping my voice low and looking at him. He looked back at me, uncertainty in his eyes. "You know I'm good for it." I added. "Alright, I'll do it." he conceded. "Thank you." I said, squeezing his hand. "I don't think I have to say that this needs to stay between us." I added and he scoffed. "I ain't telling anyone I'm supplying you with drugs." he countered. "Thanks, Is. You're the best." I smiled, kissing his cheek as Finn sat down next to us again.
"Everything alright?" he asked, handing me a mug of rum. "Yeah, Isaiah is going to start staying at the house with us and Michael. I'd feel better with the three of you around me." I lied easily, taking a sip of my drink. "It's so she can keep an eye on us." Isaiah joked, nudging my shoulder. "Hmm.. maybe a little bit." I laughed, nudging him back. We all looked up as Jeremiah came to join us, choosing to sit opposite me. "Shall we say a prayer, Evie girl?" he asked, holding his hands out to Finn and Isaiah. "Yes, please." I replied, smiling sadly at him as I reached over and took Finn's other hand. I bowed my head slightly as Jeremiah said a prayer, asking God to welcome John and to look over me and the children. We all said a barely audible amen once he had finished. "C'mon, Evie girl. Let's get some food in ya." Jeremiah said, standing up and holding his hand out to me. Even though Jeremiah was always a gentle soul, something in his voice told me I didn't have a choice so I took his hand and let him pull me up from the ground.
The next few days were relatively quiet. Isaiah had moved into Polly's old room and was delivering vials to me every other day. Michael had set up in Arthur's old room and I was back in the room Ada and I once shared. Despite having the three boys in the house, it was still a lot quieter than it was when I lived there. Johns door stayed closed and I couldn't bear to go in there. Tommy had stayed in his room once, staying out of my way as much as possible which I was thankful for. The rage and sadness was too much to deal with when he was around and I could feel myself reaching boiling point whenever I saw him.
The boys were being very considerate and although I had told them numerous times that I didn't need someone with me all the time, they insisted that at least one of them be in the house at all times. I did suspect that it had something to do with Tommy but I was thankful for the company. I was curled up on the sofa, staring into space when all three walked in and sat down. I looked around the room at each of them. "Everything okay?" I asked them, my voice hoarse from not speaking. "Yeah, we're fine. Thought we'd stay in tonight." Finn told me as Michael lit a cigarette. "You don't need to do that." I told them, shifting in my seat. "You're all young, you should be out enjoying yourselves." I added. "We don't want you here by yourself." Isaiah told me. I looked around the room at each of them. "How about we go out for a few drinks? I would say my treat but I'm a Shelby so.." I told them a hint of a smile on my face. They looked a bit unsure but agreed. "Give me half an hour to stop looking so tragic." I told them, standing and heading for the stairs.
An half an hour later I was standing in front of the mirror as there was a knock on the door. "Come in." I called, looking at my reflection. I was wearing a simple three quarter sleeve black dress with tan stockings and black heels. My hair had been pulled up into a messy bun with a few curls framing my face. I had put some kohl and mascara on my eyes and my lips had a small amount of blush lipstick. I turned as Michael came into the room. "How do I look?" I asked, playing with my fingers. "You look beautiful." he told me, sincerely. "Thank you." I smiled, going over to my dresser, picking up a necklace and fastening it around my neck.
Michael captured me by my waist. "Are you sure you're up for this?" he asked, searching my face. I looked up at him for a long moment. "As long as you're by my side, I can do anything." I told him before going up on my tiptoes and pressing my lips gently to his. He hesitated for a moment before responding to my lips, pulling me in closer by my waist. The kiss was short and sweet and Michael kept my body against his as we pulled apart. "I just need some time, Michael. Can you give me that?" I asked, looking up at him. "I can give you all the time you need. I'll be right here." he replied, pressing his lips to mine lightly once more.