Chapter 18

From this day on there was a different Hermione – a downcast one, who became quiet – even in classes! – and who not one of her friends could cheer up.

"What's wrong?" Harry and Ron asked her almost daily but she would only shake her head.

No one could know that she missed Severus and that it had almost ripped her chest to be so cut from him. Her only solace was rather selfish: whenever she saw Severus (in classes or in the Great Hall), he seemed to be as depressed as she was and that gave her hope that he actually loved her although he was forbidden to show it.

The rest of the school suffered as well from this kind of break-up, for Severus in his rage and hurt had never taken so many points before – and even from the Slytherins… A lot of rumours started to spread why he was suddenly even more bitter and grumpy than he used to be but not one of them even got close to the actual reason – no one deemed him capable to love.

Severus still worked on their project; he didn't want it to go to waste and he felt closer to Hermione during his research. Sometimes he would imagine her being with him in the same room…

But after a while he was stuck. He looked at several books, asked his old professor of Potions but couldn't even find a clue. Therefore, he saw only one chance in trying to get on. And although it was a risk, he finally dared to.

"Miss Granger," he said after the next potions class. "A word, please."

She first looked at him with widened eyes – in class they never talked with each other and she only glanced secretly at him – but then nodded.

When the rest of the class had left them alone, Severus started: "I have a problem with our project."

"You know we're not allowed to be alone," she quickly told him.

Now his eyes widened. "I forgot," he exclaimed and stood up. "Then, let's go outside where there are others."

She nodded in agreement and they left the classroom and went to the Entrance Hall where there were always students buzzing around.

"What kind of problem?" she then asked.

"Remember that we thought of adding peppermint to the potion to improve the taste?"

"Yes, because peppermint is neutral," she automatically replied like she was in class.

He had to suppress a smile. This was one of the reasons why he had fallen for her… "So, I tried it, I brewed the potion with peppermint – and it didn't work."

"But I was absolutely sure!" She looked rather frustrated.

"Me, too," he admitted. "And I don't know what else to try. I've looked at the best potions books and even asked my old professor."

"I'll think about it," she promised determined.

"That was what I had hoped." He slightly smiled at her.

She automatically replied his smile until she heard a sudden cough from the entrance to the Great Hall.

Dumbledore stood there and glared at them sceptically.

"Miss Granger," Severus nodded at her quickly and hurried away.

Hermione stayed where she was and looked after him with sorrow.

"I know it's hard," Dumbledore, who now stood next to her, quietly said. "But I hope you understand my reasons for forbidding it."

Hermione looked at him shortly, sighed heavily and whispered. "I do, but I still don't like it."

"Students have to be protected," the headmaster firmly informed, "sometimes even from themselves."

Hermione couldn't stand it anymore and ran away, outside into the large gardens and to the Great Lake where there was peace and quiet – and no one would notice her tears.

The next morning as Severus drank his coffee at the breakfast table an owl brought him a letter. Irritated he unfolded the piece of parchment and raised his eyebrows as he recognised the handwriting at once. He looked at her seat but she wasn't here, yet.

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Dear Professor Snape,

You should try to add thyme. I found a book in the Restricted Section which gave me the idea (Mann, Melanie: Different herbs of Bavaria. Munich, 1976).

Yours sincerely,

Hermione Granger

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Her formal tone hurt him but he found that this letter was better than nothing.