Title: S&R/TNG: The Unclean Prince

Author: Serena J

Rating: R for some sexual content

Genre(s): Romance, Angst

Pairing(s): Primary William/Mokuba

Spoilers: none

Beta: Mishiko

Disclaimer: Just the words, not the folks.

Summary: Ten years after Sow and Reap, Seto's son William must learn to love - and then learn to let go.

Chapter 3

Jesse was actually the person who took the photo I used for Yvette's portrait. He spent the month of September with me in the Shenandoah Valley.

The family spent a few days exploring the area, and even in my emotional malaise, I was dazzled by the array of colors as the leaves turned from green to brown and a thousand colors in-between. Jesse took as many photos as I did, but with cheap disposable cameras until Papa gave him a new, top-of-the-line digital.

"If you're gonna try to keep up with Wolf, here, you at least need a fair chance!" Papa laughed and kissed my forehead. "You ok?" he asked me for the billionth time.

"I'm fine, Papa."

The weekend of the wedding, there was also a gun show in a nearby town and KaibaArms made a surprise appearance with Father, Uncle Mokuba and Aunt Yvette being temporary celebrities. Just to show off, they arranged an unscheduled target competition - Father won - and Jesse took the photo of Yvette that everyone raved over.

No one mentioned any of my photos of her because, apart from the photos where I couldn't avoid her, I hadn't taken any.

After that, Uncle and Aunt left for their honeymoon, and Jesse, Nobu, Ryuka, Valentine and I wandered over mountains and through caves. The rest of the family went home.

My brother and cousins went home when school started a week or so later. I was not in a rush to return to the factories and it would be another week before the first product batches would be ready for review.

Jesse stayed as well. "I'm not trying to go back in a rush; the band hasn't left for their tour yet. Besides, I like this photography thing. Maybe I could stay here and do this for a living."

"You do have a very good eye," I agreed.

He leered at me. "You got a good everything." His expression turned serious. "Look, uh, I know I said just one night, but..." He took a step closer to me. "Being around you, this much, for this long, it's kinda making me crazy, you know?" He kissed me softly. "I know you got more reserve than me, but..." he kissed me again. "...but it's just sex, right?"

The sun was setting. I turned on the lights in my studio. I hated painting in electric light - colors didn't look natural. I put the paints away and began cleaning my brushes. Anything more I did would have to wait for tomorrow.

Maybe tomorrow I could let go.

My phone rang again. The ringtone was an aria called 'Fire in Her Eyes'. Nobu had written it for Aunt Mai's birthday a few years ago and it quickly became my favorite piece by him. I tapped the speaker.

"What?"

"Everybody on the planet is here. Papa says get your butt up here if you want dinner," Nobu replied.

"I don't want dinner."

"The longer you mess with it, the more you're gonna mess it up," he pointed out. "You know that."

I sighed. He was right. I knew that.

"Are you gonna tell me the real deal, ever?"

"I'm an artist. We're temperamental."

"Wow. That's not even creative bullshit. No points for style."

I had to smile; it was a rather dumb thing to say to the boy who writes symphonies. "I'm in an artistically dark phase marked by irrational mood swings."

"Like 'Set once a month," he chuckled. "Ow!"

The phone changed hands. "Dad said if you don't come to dinner right now, he's going to come out there with a chainsaw and cut the doors off." My sister laughed. "And Father said that if you're responsible for that much property damage, he's gonna ground you for a month."

"I'm not hungry!" I snapped. "I just need to finish this."

"You know, maybe it's not about food so much as people like to actually look at you once in a while!" 'Set snapped. "Stop being such a little bitch and come home!" She hung up.

Nobu was right. 'Set was right too. Everyone was right.

So why was it so hard to be right?

Gail was made Interim Manager for New Products the day after Father had time to interview her.

"Please understand, Ms. Herger, I am confident of your abilities. However, Personnel seems to think that promoting you to the position outright would be a breach of protocol. Therefore, we are giving you a six-month trial. If you succeed, as my son and I expect, the promotion will be made permanent. If not, we will advertise the position and you will be allowed to move back to the administrative department if you so choose."

"I understand, Mr. Kaiba!" she gushed, sniffing and wiping her eyes, but grinning nonetheless. "Thank you so much! I just... I promise; I'll do everything I can to live up to your faith in me."

"I'm sure you will." Father turned to me. "I will be leaving later this evening for Tokyo, but I will be visiting your Great Grandmother and paying my respects to your Great Grandfather first. I trust you will be ready to leave by 2pm?"

I was stunned. I was hoping to go home after Gail was promoted, but I didn't expect him to let me leave with him. "Home? Today?"

"Unless you have other plans."

I hugged him. I hugged him and tried not to cry. Sometimes my father was a cold-hearted bastard. And then there were times when I was so glad he adopted me, I couldn't breathe.

We took Grandmomma Wheeler and her nurse to dinner and on the way stopped at the cemetery to pay our respects to Grandpapa Wheeler. Grandmomma laid two wreaths.

"You didn't come when my son died," she accused Father.

"No," he said simply. "Nor would I allow Joey, Sera or Kawai to attend. Frankly, had I known he was here, I would not have come today."

"He was Joey's father," she whispered.

"He was the villain that harmed Joey so profoundly that the scars will always be part of him. I will never allow the Kaiba family to honor him."

But those emotional scars are part of Papa's dharma; part of what makes him the man Father loves. To deny Papa's trials was to deny his triumphs as well.

"I will," I said. I knelt in front of the headstone and kissed both names.

"William!" Father snapped. "Stop being foolish and get up! I will not tolerate..."

"Grandpa Wheeler is part of Papa's path to us, to me!" I yelled before he could ground me or worse. "Maybe he would not have wanted me if his life had been easier." I bowed my head to the ground. "I honor the man who made Papa who he is - just as I honored your father." Internally, I winced; I promised Uncle Moke I wouldn't tell Father about that particular field trip.

I expected Father to rain fire and brimstone on me. I was defying him publicly. He'd never struck me, but surely this would be the moment.

Instead, when I risked a glance over my shoulder, he was looking at me oddly. I couldn't tell if he was angry, amused, confused, dismayed or something else. Then he scowled at me. "Well, get on with it. Even for me, Masa will not hold a dinner reservation indefinitely."

On the plane - a private Kaiba jet in which he and I were virtually the only passengers - he finally spoke to me about it.

"Your philosophy is sound in theory; however, your underlying assumption is incorrect." I stared at him blankly, trying to figure out what philosophy he meant. "Joey did not want you."

"Wha-?"

"At the gravesite. You said that perhaps Joey would not have wanted you if his life had been easier. But as a point of fact, it was not Joey who sought to bring you into our family. In fact, he opposed my adopting you quite strongly."

"W-what?"

The corner of Father's lip twitched. "He was afraid I would kill you inside of a week. He said a child that strong willed would push every button I have, and he swore that I didn't have the patience required to raise a child as outspoken and as opinionated as you."

"B-bu-bu..." I tried to make some kind of sense out of what he was saying. "But Auset..."

"Your sister was an entirely different matter. And, as she and I are in agreement on most issues, her personality is less abrasive. You, on the other hand, persist in being obstinate, tactless, obsessive, utterly driven to have your own way in anything we can actually convince you to do - and a completely intolerable wretch when we have forced you to do things against your will."

I didn't comment. Saying 'take's one to know one' would be childish. True, but childish.

"In short, you couldn't be more like me if I'd had you cloned from my own DNA." I fought not to smile, but Father saw it anyway. "Which I'm guessing is exactly what you were thinking. I wanted to adopt you the day Ryou introduced you to me. As I recall, you refused to serve my tea until I addressed Ryou as 'Bakura-sensei'."

I nodded. "You spoke to him most disrespectfully." I had wanted to pour the tea on him at the time. As far as I knew, he was merely an appallingly rude customer.

"You were eight years old and fearless. You defended Ryou even when he would not defend himself." Father smiled. "It was rather cute. Like one of those small dogs that bark at every threat." I could feel my cheeks burning as he chuckled at the memory. "It was quite a struggle to convince all of them that you would not frustrate me to death. Although, you have tried."

I looked down. "I have never deliberately tried to anger you, Father."

"No. You simply follow your own instincts regardless of what others do or say. My point to all this is that, you are correct. Joey's father helped to shape him just as Gozaburo had some influence on who I am now. Just as I would like to believe that I have helped shape you - in more positive ways, I'd hope."

"Of course!" I started, but he raised a hand to stop me.

"It's true that one of the things that strongly motivated me was the similarities between your background and my own." He sighed. "Perhaps those are the very things that so often divide us."

"I'm not a good son, I know, but..."

"William, you are nothing I expected in a child and everything I have ever wanted in a son. You are intelligent, innovative, talented; loyal to those you love, persuasive when you wish to be. You actually make me reconsider my own decisions on occasion. Frankly, between you and your siblings, I often reconsider my sanity. But never, never have I reconsidered wanting you.

"You were quite correct when you reminded me today. Who I am now is in large part due to the lifetime of struggles I have overcome. I do not wish Joey to come to his father's grave and relive the painful memories associated, but he should have the option to do so. Thank you for reminding me."

I wasn't sure how to react. Father was admitting that he was wrong, changing his mind, and apologizing to me. Either I was hallucinating or the plane was going to crash.

He smiled slightly and nodded. He called the steward to our cabin and ordered a bottle of sake. When it arrived, Father told the steward to relax for the rest of the flight, as we wouldn't need anything else.

"Now." He made himself comfortable, poured two cups, and handed me one. "We have fifteen more hours alone and you have not been entirely open about several personal issues. I know you managed to convince Mokuba to cover for you and this man -" I felt the blood run hot through my body as I realized where this conversation was going. "- and yes I know it's a man so do not bother denying it. You will tell me who your lover - or lovers - are, or I will find out for myself."

"I guess I'm surprised that you haven't already." I took a sip of the strong wine and prayed that I'd be able to keep my wits about me.

"I would have, but Pharaoh made me promise to allow you a bit of privacy."

"Oh."

"He was a member of the household staff," Father guessed. I coughed as I realized how close to the truth he was. "Don't look shocked. One does not need to be Sherlock Holmes to realize that not all the time in your studio is spent artistically."

"Uh, yeah."

"Honestly, William, in this family it would be more shocking if you weren't sexually active. Your brother tied the family record for starting young at twelve. And Pharaoh didn't catch Auset until she was 16, but I suspect she was active before then." He paused. "We were worried about you. You seem to distance yourself physically and, well, I am not known for my affectionate nature. I tried. I tried to be more demonstrative."

"I'm not really touchy-feely." I shrugged. "That's more like Nobu."

Father nodded. "Yes. Thank the Gods for Joey and Pharaoh. The boy would have driven me quite to my wit's end had it not been for them." He sipped his wine. "But I was concerned, because you were so young when you were sexually abused, that you would pull away from everyone and never allow any kind of physical intimacy. Or, that you would indeed take after me and over-indulge."

"You?" All three of my fathers were not shy about their sexual relations, but Father had never struck me as any more randy than Papa or Dad.

He laughed almost sheepishly. "Before Joey and Pharaoh, I used sex as a tool. A drug of choice. I collected lovers like duel cards." It was the first I'd heard of it. "I gather you have been more," he smirked, "selective?"

"Uh, no. Just two." He gave me an inquiring look. I took a sip of my wine. "The first doesn't matter anymore. He got married." I took a breath. "The second was Jesse."

Father actually looked stunned. "Wheeler Jesse."

I had forgotten that he was actually family. "Uh - yes, sir."

"I see." He took another sip of wine. "All right. Tell me about him.

Another trait Jesse shared with Papa - they were both easy to talk to. I found myself sharing things with Jesse that I had never told anyone.

"Ok, I gotta ask." He started one night when we were in a motel room with one bed, no cable, and a decor that hadn't been updated in my lifetime. "You're Indian, right? I mean, originally." I nodded - my heritage was visibly obvious. "And you were adopted by a Japanese guy?"

"India is a popular tourist destination for many Asians," I pointed out. "And Agra is where the Taj Mahal is."

"It wasn't the 'where' that's been odd to me - it's the name!"

"The name?"

"Yeah! How'd you get a name like 'William'?" He chuckled. "Shouldn't it be 'Hadji' or 'Gandhi' or something? When Joey told me, I'd be flying in with 'William', I figured you'd look kind of British."

I shrugged. "It was the name I was using at the time. I was speaking to a man, an American named 'William' so I told him that my name was 'William' too. Ryou-Sensei overheard it, and called me that, and it was easier not to correct it."

"So what is your name - I mean, really?"

I shrugged again. "I don't have one."

"Huh?" Jesse looked at me confused. "How do you not have a name?"

"I just don't. In Agra, the other urchins called me 'boy' or 'you', but none of us really had names - unless we chose one for ourselves. Generally, I called myself whatever the tourist called himself. I often made more money that way."

"And all this time you never fixed it?"

"Fixed it? Why?"

"But -" he seemed at a loss for words. "I mean, don't you want your own name? I mean, your own, real name?"

I had. At one point, I had hoped that Father would re-name me. Kaiba Ichiro, I thought Kaiba First Son. If I were really his son, he would have named me 'Ichiro'. But he didn't, and I put such childish hopes away. "William is my name, now," I replied. "It's fine."

"Yeah, I guess." He snickered. "And at least they don't call you late for dinner, right?"

Father and I spoke. Frankly. The wine had the effect of making us both more open and freer in the quality and quantity of details we shared. Thankfully, I did manage not to reveal who my first lover - my first love, my only love - had been.

In truth, it quickly became apparent that Father was more interested in my mental health than in with whom I had experimented.

It was a useful conversation. I had not thought to analyze my relationships in light of my own history. It had been enough for me that the idea of sexual congress no longer made me cringe.

"But it's more far reaching than that," Father observed. He'd taken off his jacket and tie and was stretched out across the seats, looking up at the ceiling. "I first realized that something had changed at the party when Mokuba revealed those dragons you two hid from the rest of us. You were wearing the swimsuit that your sister purchased for you instead of the veritable pants you normally swim in."

It was the first time I'd worn the briefs; they were embarrassingly frank. But I wanted to wear something that caught Uncle's attention and they had been wonderfully effective. Still... "I didn't think anyone noticed."

He chuckled. "I dare say everyone noticed. If there had been anyone other than family there, I would have made you go change." He looked at me. "Have you determined if you prefer seme or uke?"

I nearly choked. It was the last question I expected from Father. Papa often asked things like that. Dad would warn you first. Father, however, almost never asked any question that couldn't be asked at dinner in a restaurant. The biggest difference, unfortunately, was that Father expected a direct answer to a direct question.

"Seme," I said when I'd stopped coughing enough to speak.

"Have you tried the uke position, in your recent encounters, as a consensual position?"

"No." Which surprised me as I considered it. "I hadn't even thought about it."

He nodded. "That may have been a contributing factor in your abuse; a natural seme being forced into the uke role. It would have been more damaging than if you were a natural uke or reversible."

I sipped my wine as I considered the idea. I couldn't resist asking, "Which are you?" Something I would not have even dreamed of asking before we took off.

He smiled. "Reversible. I have found that there are benefits - and pleasures - in both roles. You may wish to explore both yourself; if Jesse is anything like Joey, it could be quite entertaining."

"We aren't like that," I assured him again. "I'm not seeing anyone anymore."

I did go to dinner. I tried to be pleasant during the meal. Most of the extended family was there for the wedding. Everyone who wasn't there would be arriving in the morning.

Nobu stayed close to me most of the evening, taking Papa's role and asking me if I was ok far too often. Even at 17, he still seemed to be my child-like baby brother. I hated making him worry about me. I ruffled his hair - like I did when he was 10 - and told him I was fine. I doubt he believed me.

I let Uncle Gorou and Aunt Miko use my room, and went back out to my studio to sleep. I've done it on many occasions; but for the last year every time had been with Uncle Moke.

I turned on the work light and looked at the portrait. He looked away from me, happily, toward something I could not see from where I was. Was he happy with her? Was he thinking of me as he held her tonight?

Or was I, as in the portrait, simply not part of his picture?

I woke to sunlight and my phone playing the Imperial March from Star Wars. I yawned as I hit the button. "Yes, Father?"

"Security is bringing Jesse from the airport; he had the audacity to bring a 'guest' with him - someone named Diop Khadim. I can have either or both returned from whence they came if you'd like."

I stared at the phone for a moment. "Father -" I sighed. "Jesse and I are not together. Besides, he's Papa's cousin."

"I don't care who he is. If you don't want to see him, you don't have to."

"You are overreacting. I would like to see them both."

"Very well. Hold on; Pharaoh wishes to speak with you."

The phone switched hands. "Where is the painting you promised Bakura?" Dad demanded.

"It's not quite..."

"You gave him your word you'd have it done a week ago!"

"I know, Dad, but..."

"Don't! This is unacceptable, Will. I don't know what's gotten into you lately; you've never missed a deadline before. Is it finished?"

I looked at the painting. "Not quite."

"I don't care!" Dad snapped. "Get it up here now!"

"Yes, Dad."

"And you are grounded for the rest of the month. There is no excuse for this! Bakura has far too much to worry about as it is and you have rudely contributed to his stress."

For me, 'being grounded' meant no travel and, once I got back to the house, no use of my studio. I had an easel and supplies in my room so I wouldn't die, but it was going to be a boring couple of weeks. "Yes, Dad."

I let him yell. I suspected that Ryou-Sensei had one of his extremely rare stress explosions, and Uncle Ryuji had called and yelled at Dad about it. If that was the case, I was merely the first of many people who were going to get yelled at. I said 'yes, Dad' a dozen more times before he finally decided that I had been chastised sufficiently and let me hang up.

There really wasn't anything else I could do to the painting. There really wasn't anything else I could do about the wedding.

I needed to go back to the main house, deliver the painting, and change into a formal kimono for the service. I could attend the wedding in the shorts I slept in, but Dad would probably ground me for another month.

I looked at the painting again. Why was I so caught by him? Why was it so hard to let go?

"It's stunning," Uncle Mokuba said softly behind me. "Thank you." I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as he put his arms around my shoulders. He held me tightly.

After a few moments, I clutched his arm. I bowed my head as the tears began falling yet again.

"Nephew, I never meant to hurt you," he whispered. "If I had thought for one instant how hard this would be for you, I would never have..." He kissed the back of my neck softly. "You will never know how sorry I am that I hurt you."

I felt my knees giving out as I wept. If uncle hadn't been holding me, I would have collapsed.

We both sank to the floor. I curled into his arms, desperately - vainly - hoping I could hold him there forever. He rocked me softly and eventually I began to calm down some.

"This is winter, William. This is hard, and cold, and barren and I know you feel alone. But you're not. I promise you. I can't be your lover, but I will always love you. Nii-sama and Jou and Yami - they will always be here. And spring will come. Someone is going to get very, very lucky and find you, and keep you. And when that happens, I promise you I will hate his guts."

I wanted to laugh, but the remark just made me cry harder.

"And Nephew," he turned my face gently, made me look into his eyes. "There is nothing about you that is 'Dalit'. Yvette suggested something to me and I think she's right. You always act as though you were born low caste and you've been elevated by us above your karma. Not so. You were always high caste, just lost somehow. Lost, kidnapped, or orphaned or something. I'll bet if we did a DNA search, you'd turn out to be the long lost son of some Raja, the heir to some title."

"The son of a gravedigger," I sniffed.

"No. Absolutely not. Ryou said you caught his attention because you looked like a prince. He couldn't figure out why you were digging through the trash."

Even princes must eat. "I don't believe in fairy tales."

"Neither do I. If you want it William, we can do a search. We can find out, prince or pauper, where your history is."

I shrugged. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"Think about it." He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair. "I have to go back to the house. You have to come, too. You have to let me go, nephew."

"I know," I said softly.

"Can you?"

It wasn't as if I had a choice. In a few hours, he was going to be married to her by two standards, and nothing I did would stop it. He and I both had an obligation to the family. He had to wed. I had to be happy for him.

"I am Kaiba," I said. Father said it often. For the first time I wondered - did he say it to impress others, or remind himself?

I swallowed hard, took a deep breath, and stood up. "Tell Ryou-Sensei that I will bring the painting to the house as soon as I finish framing it."

Uncle Mokuba stood up too. "Ok. William..." He stopped and shook his head. He took a step toward me, but I stepped away.

"No. I can't - please don't. Not now."

His expression looked pained. "Of course." He nodded. "Of course." For a moment, he actually looked lost. "I'll see you shortly."

"Yes." I could feel my chest tightening and pushed the emotions back down. I turned back to the portrait. I had a frame already cut for it.

A moment later, my door closed. I wiped a tear, but kept working.

The service inside the Shrine was very small - Uncle Mokuba, Father, Yvette and her parents. The rest of the family and 600 guests waited outside with rice in little bags, baskets full of flower petals, and noisemakers.

It would have been bad form for me to stand at the back of the group so I stood with my siblings and cousins on the front line, ready to bombard the couple with traditional symbols of fertility and happiness.

Jesse and Khadim stood with us. Jesse grinned happily the entire day. Khadim grinned when he looked at Jesse, but frowned at me. After the couple exited to a hail of good will and the massive event began returning to the main house for the reception, I saw Jesse and Khadim talking furtively. Khadim's eyes caught mine for a moment and his frown darkened. Without looking away from me, he tilted Jesse's head back and kissed my distant cousin deeply. When they finished, Khadim turned and walked toward the house. Jesse looked like he couldn't walk.

I walked over to him. "I think your Senegalese has the wrong idea about me."

"Huh?" Jesse sighed and then seemed to wake up. "Oh, yeah."

"I'm surprised to see him here."

He laughed. "So am I, actually. But if I'm dreaming, don't wake me."

"I must; I am the ultimate killjoy." He laughed again. "So what happened?"

"When I got home, I went out with the first hottie I meet and we ran into Khadim and the band at the club."

"Ran into?" I doubted that. "Just by chance."

"Seriously! Anyway, I told the guy that my ex was there and he decided to get cute about it. You know, too much touching, dancing too close, stuff like that."

"Presumptuous."

"Yeah, but he was wicked hot," Jesse snickered. "Anyhow, Khadim's watching us and I can see he's getting kinda pissed 'cause the whole band's trying to hold him back."

"He is rather large."

"Tell me about it." Jesse snickered again. "So, all of a sudden dude kisses me, right? Next thing I know, Khadim's dropping him like a bad habit!"

"He hit him!" I had to wonder where security was; I'd just as soon Khadim not hit me.

"Laid him out cold with one shot. Then he told me that if he ever caught me with another man again, he'd kill him!"

"If he's threatening you, I can have security -"

He laughed again. "No, no it's not like that! He was just jealous. We got put out of the club. We had this huge argument and I told him: he can fuck me, or he can fuck the band. And he picked me!" Jesse's grin returned, even brighter than before. "He broke up with the band. We're living together now."

"He quit the band for you?"

"No way! I mean, he stopped screwing around with them. He's still the bass player. But Stac - he's the drummer - Stac told me that Khadim was a total downer the whole time I was gone."

I smiled and nodded. "So he loves you after all." Maybe after a few months, Uncle will be a total downer and leave her for me.

"Yeah." He turned serious for a moment. "Hey, listen. Gay marriage is legal in my state now, so I was wondering if, next year, after the tour, maybe you'd come out and be my best man?"

"You trust him to go on tour?"

"Hell no!" His grin returned. "The band hired me as their photographer - I'm going with them!" Jesse's expression changed slightly as he looked over my shoulder. "Who IS that guy, anyway? Hey, you didn't find a new beau and not tell me, did you?"

I followed his gaze. A few yards away from us, a young man stood, watching us. He was wearing a formal kimono and a large necklace. I could not see the detail at that distance, but the size was enough. "Prince Niko." I shrugged and turned back to Jesse. "More formally known as His Imperial Highness Prince Nagahito of Akishino. He's fifth in line for the Imperial Throne."

"No shit?"

I chuckled. "No. He's also one of my patrons. I suspect he wants to see what's in my studio this week." I sighed. I had nothing to show him.

"Dude, I think he wants to see what's in your pants. He's been totally scoping you out all day."

"Niko? No. We practically grew up together. Perhaps he's watching you."

"Nah, Khadim saw him when we got here. He took one look at you, and told me to keep the hell away from you." My surprise must have shown because Jesse snickered. "I didn't tell him about us, he just knows my taste in men. Anyhow, he told me you were taken 'cause of that guy; he's got that look. He is kinda hot; you should totally jump on that."

I looked back at Niko. He was still watching us, but his body language had changed. Before he'd seemed calm, as always. Imperial. Now he appeared agitated. He suddenly seemed to realize that I was looking at him. He turned and hurried toward the main house.

"Yeah, he's got it for you bad!" Jesse crowed. "Wow! Millionaires and Princes! Man, I knew you were slumming when we hooked up, but I had no idea I was that far outta your league. Talk about gutter trash!"

I whirled on Jesse, grabbing him by the shoulders. I caught him completely off guard and he nearly choked on his own laughter. "Never say that!" I shouted at him.

"Huh?"

"You are not trash! You are a precious jewel and I will always treasure our time together!" Jesse was staring at me in shock so I took a breath and released him. "I am sorry. I don't like hearing you talk about yourself like that."

"Dude, relax! It's a joke. You always said you were 'low born', but I knew that was one of those ironic things. Even Khadim called you 'the Maharaja' when he saw you. I know I'm not trash, ok? I just meant you're way above -"

"NO!" I snapped. "I'm not. I do not even know where I was born. My earliest memories are of searching for food in the sewers. I was a prostitute until I was eight. Then," I had to laugh, "they tried to make me a geisha. I wasn't even good enough for that." I sank down and sat in the grass.

"Holy shit." Jesse sat beside me. "That has got to be the most messed up thing I have ever heard!"

We sat in silence. I wondered why I told him. I hadn't told anyone since I told Ryou-Sensei. I'd never even told my siblings. Something about Jesse made me feel safe telling him my deepest secrets. Of course, now that he knew what I was, he'd never associate with me again.

"Still." Jesse's voice surprised me. "You came up all aces, right? I mean, it sounds like you got dealt a pretty crappy hand, but it's not the cards, it's the player. And man, you won the pot!"

I looked at him for a moment. "You don't understand about karma."

He shrugged. "I kinda know. I just don't get it. I guess I'm too American. I think you make your own karma. I don't care how I was born, I make my own way. Heck, your whole family's like that. I mean think about it; in West Virginia, we took a bunch of pictures. I got a job out of it, which is cool. But you got a book that's still on the bestseller list! I mean, you're like, this world famous artist! I looked you up in Wikipedia, dude. Plus, your last guy was a millionaire, right?" I nodded. "And the next one's a real live Prince! Dude, if karma says there's something wrong with that, fuck karma."

"I don't deserve it."

"Nobody deserves anything; you get what you earn. And if somebody fucked you when you were eight, dude, you earned a Prince. Hell, you earned a kingdom!"

I found myself nodding. I had paid the cost. I paid for my art with blood and sweat. I paid for my wealth with days without food and nights without shelter. I paid the cost to be 'Kaiba' as my Father had - with every moment of my life prior.

Was losing Mokuba paying the cost for finding someone else?

I looked up to find Jesse smiling at me. He never once thought of me as untouchable, unclean, Dalit. I glanced toward the house; someone would eventually come looking for us but they weren't in sight yet.

I leaned forward and kissed him. He responded sweetly, but I didn't hold him for long.

He was actually blushing when we parted. "Hey come on. I can't do that anymore, you know?" he said softly.

"I know." I tried to smile and found that I could. "I just wanted one last."

He smiled broadly. "Yeah. I don't think I'm gonna get another once you get a prince under you." He stood up. "This place is huge! You need a damn GPS just to find the house!"

"Yes, many of our guests do, actually," I agreed, standing and brushing the grass from my clothes. "I don't know if you're right about Niko - and you should be sure to call him 'Prince Nagahito' until he tells you otherwise - but I'll still wager he wants to see my latest project. Do you want to see my studio?"

"Hell yes! But I'll have to bring Khadim. He's probably having a fit leaving us alone this long."

I gestured in the direction we should go and we moved toward the main house. "Why did he allow you to be alone with me now?"

"I told him that if he really loved me, he'd trust me and back the hell off."

"So I'm not at risk for bodily harm?"

"Nah; even Khadim wouldn't hit that face."

I laughed. I laughed again when we arrived at the main house to find Khadim and Prince Niko waiting together, giving us identical suspicious glares.

The four of us went to the ballroom together. There was a buffet for lunch. Ryou-Sensei had moved all six of my wedding paintings into the ballroom, placing the two portraits behind the head table so that they seemed to be aiming at each other. Under the paintings, Uncle Mokuba held Aunt Yvette's hand as they talked and ate.

"They look good together, don't they?" Jesse observed.

I had to admit that they did. I watched as he kissed her hand. My heart still ached, but I didn't think I was going to cry.

A hand squeezed my shoulder gently. "I should pay my uncle's respects to your uncle," Prince Niko said. "But then I'd like to speak to you about a new commission."

"Hey yeah, Khadim," Jesse flashed a mischievous grin at me. "You haven't met the bride and groom yet. Come on, guys." I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard the Prince growl.

We spoke to the bride and groom. We spoke to my fathers. We spoke to my grandparents.

After nearly two hours of paying our respects to nearly the entire room, the four of us slipped out of the house, commandeered a golf cart, and went to my studio.

The sun had just dropped below the tree line. Dusk filled the space with a soft, warm light. I was surprised; I didn't feel like three strangers were infringing in my private space. I let them look at everything they wanted to see.

While they were looking at my glass sculptures, I picked up my sketchpad and began drawing them. Jesse said something and both Khadim and Niko laughed. They looked like friends.

Jesse was right; Niko was very attractive. His face was slender and delicate, but stopped before appearing feminine. His hair was waist long and almost always braided. The few times I had seen it loose, it fell in waves around his shoulders.

Which were wider than one might expect. Niko was very athletic; frequently, he'd dragged me to games when he didn't have another companion. He'd often tried to get me to join his team-of-the-month, but I had no interest in sports whatsoever and only participated with him at Dad's request.

But thanks to all that, I had seen Niko in some very un-imperial states - half-naked, sweating, disheveled...

My own arousal surprised me, but the mental image of Niko swimming when last I saw him was exactly what I'd imagine he'd look like right after sex. And the image was extremely enticing; enough so that I crossed my legs in hopes that my 'thoughts' weren't visible. I wondered if that thought was what motivated Niko to invite me to go swimming, and tennis, and soccer and the rest when I was the world's worst athlete. Did he just want to see me half-naked, sweating and disheveled?

"Dude?" Jesse punched my shoulder.

"Ow!" It didn't actually hurt, but it did dispel my reverie. I rubbed my arm. "What?"

"You kind of zoned out for a while!" He laughed. "Me and Khadim are gonna take off. You want us to send someone back with the cart?"

"Oh. No. I can walk." I glanced at Niko and remembered that we were both still wearing formal attire. "Or I can call someone when we're ready to leave."

"Cool." Jesse hugged me - which was a surprise - and whispered. "He wants you bad, Will. If you don't jump him, he's gonna burst!" He let me go before I could reply and took Khadim's hand. "Come on, sexy. Cousin Joey said we could use the bedroom with the soundproofing."

Khadim paused, then grinned lewdly at Jesse. "Excellent." He looked at Niko and bowed appropriately. "It was an honor to meet you, Sir." Then Khadim turned to me, frowned, and put his arm around Jesse as they left.

I found myself chuckling.

"Finally!" Niko burst. "I thought they would never leave!"

"Forgive me, Sir; I didn't realize it was a private commission."

"It's not," he said quickly. "Not really. I want to paint a set of portraits. I was hoping you would teach me."

"Teach you to paint?"

"Yes."

"Portraits are not easy. Or quick. I wouldn't mind doing them for you."

"My uncle, the Emperor, wants me to take up a more sedate, less injury-prone hobby. I want to paint his and the Empress' portraits to show I'm taking his request seriously."

"Oh." I thought about it. At an art school, he'd get more formal instruction, but he'd also be more exposed if he had no skill.

Or was this just a ploy to spend more time with me?

The idea sent a warm rush through my body. Uncle Mokuba and I had spent a great deal of time in my studio. Niko was asking to spend even more.

"William-sama," Niko called my name softly, looked at me imploringly. "Please?"

"Of course, Niko-sama. I'd be happy to teach you. If you want, we can start now."

Niko smiled at me. I found myself smiling back.