Having laid bare his plans to leave Coruscant and follow his long-held dreams for racing, Han was first disappointed by Leia's refusal to join him and then delighted by her change of heart. But before he can turn their lives upside down, fate conspires to turn their livee upside down all by itself.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
"You're sure this is what you want?" Han asked, seriously.
"I'm positive." Leia confirmed, turning serious also. "Han, you gave up so much to support my political ambitions. Our life together only really started after we almost lost one another. I may not know everything, but I know how to recognise the warning signs when I see them. If I let you go now, I may never get you back. And I'm not ready to lose you. Not yet."
Han moved forward to wrap his arms loosely around her waist and look down into her deep, brown, soulful eyes.
"I think I've always been yours. Right from those first words on the Death Star." He told her.
"This is some rescue." She repeated her words from that time, long ago.
"And you were right. That was the day you rescued me from a life of mediocrity and dragged me kicking and screaming into a life I never realised could be so good." He grinned.
Leia stroked her thumb across the scar on his chin, her eyes drinking in the features she had grown to love ever more over the years.
"We need to find a homebase though. Jorj needs stability, you know that. We can't go bouncing him around the Galaxy in the Falcon. It wouldn't be fair, not on any of us. And that includes the Falcon." She said.
Han's grin grew broader.
"What's so funny?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.
"Us." He laughed. "Me, the hardened mercenary out for all he can steal from life and you, the tough Politician looking to right every wrong and move every immovable object."
Leia's smile suggested only confusion.
"I may not have understood what you got out of politics, but I stood by you anyway." He elaborated. "You will never get my passion for fast vehicles, but you're ready to leave comfort behind to help me follow a dream. And both of us...we two hard-nosed-at-whatever-it-is-we-do...both of us concerned over a six year old's security. Who figured we'd ever turn out like that, huh?"
"Rieekan for one. He told me I could do a lot worse than give my heart to a rogue." Leia answered.
"He called me that?" Han asked, incredulous. Then grinned. "Remind me to raise a glass to that old goat next time we go out to dinner."
Leia cupped his cheeks and leaned on tiptoe to kiss him tenderly. Then leaned her head against his chest to listen to the thrum-thrum-thrum of his heartbeat. He held her, one hand caressing her shoulder.
"Ley, I know this is going to be hard on you; leaving everything you've known for the past thirty years. Our family. Our friends. I can't tell you what it means, that you'd do that. For me." His voice was soft, but still it seemed to reverberate through her.
"You take orders from just one person, yourself..." Leia quoted from all those years ago.
"Did you memorise everything I said back then?" Han asked.
"Maybe if you hadn't have been so self-obsessed, you'd have realised sooner how I hung on your every word." She replied.
Han tilted his head and kissed her again.
"Oh I realised. It's just that it wasn't my 'words' I hoped to get you hanging off of." He teased with a waggle of his eyebrows.
"Jorj will be home soon." Leia reminded him as his hands roamed her back beneath the loose shirt she wore.
"Hmm." Han's mouth moved to her earlobe. "Been thinking about that...Holy Mother of a Sith!"
He danced backwards and yanked the comm from his pant's pocket.
"Damn thing nearly electrocuted my..." He grinned at her as he thumbed the device on and waggled his eyebrows again. "'Every word'! What?"
"Dad, it's Jace. I need you Dad. I need you real bad." Jacen shaky voice stopped Han in his lascivious tracks.
"Where you at son?" He asked into the comm, turning from Leia so she wouldn't hear the boy's answer. "On my way."
Han turned a weary look on Leia.
"Go." She said simply.
Han's relationship with his eldest son had been strained since the boy hit puberty. That he was turning to his father for help and advice could only be a good thing Leia knew.
Her culinary skills might not have been the best, but even Leia could throw together some scraps and heat into what Han liked to call 'cook-up'. Although she had often wondered whether the word 'cook' had actually been substituted for a far less acceptable word when used in front of their infant children.
Peering into the pot Han had started preparing she couldn't help but feel some scraps were more trouble than they were worth and decided to dump the lot and order take-out once Han was home.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Across town Jacen dragged his father into his apartment, nervously eyeing the corridor in either direction to ensure they were unseen.
"What d'you tell Mom?" Jacen asked anxiously.
"Nothing. All she knows is that you needed me, urgently." Han answered truthfully. "So, what's up?"
"The baby's come." Jacen replied.
Han nodded slowly. "Okay. We knew this was going to happen. You need me to go pick her up?"
"No, you don't understand. I mean...the baby's come!" Jacen tugged on his father's arm, pulling him into the bedroom.
There, being cradled by Jacen's girlfriend Tilly, was Han's second Grand-daughter in as many months. The baby was the product of an ill-fated affair between Jacen and the Hapan heiress Tenel Ka Djo. Rejected by her birth mother, it was agreed that Jacen would accept his daughter upon her safe arrival. That arrival, however, was earlier than Jacen Solo had expected.
"Congratulations. She's a beauty." Han slapped Jacen on the back and squeezed his shoulder.
"But...it's too soon. We're not ready." Jacen pleaded.
"Kid, you're never ready to become a father." Han assured his son.
"You said you'd help! You promised!" Jacen snapped.
"And do what?" Han asked, lifting one shoulder. "Son, I'm not trying to be difficult but what is it you want me to do?"
Jacen looked from his father to Tilly to the baby.
"I dunno." The boy sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I just...I didn't know what to do."
"She just arrived. We were talking about getting dinner ready, there was a knock at the door and there she was." Tilly said.
"She didn't come with anything?" Han queried, easing the blanket aside to admire the baby's tiny features.
"You mean like instructions? No Dad, I guess Tenel Ka forgot to send any." Jacen snapped sarcastically.
"You know kid, for someone who wants my help you're going about this whole thing the wrong way!" Han growled.
"I think your father means the package." Tilly prompted.
Jacen visually searched the room until he spotted the baby basket, dragged it forward and dumped it on the bed beside Tilly.
"There's a couple of blankets, diapers and a tub of what I guess is formula." Jacen said assessing the contents.
"Okay, first you need to get rid of that basket. Burn it if possible. Plus anything else she sent that could be traced back to Hapes. If Isolder gets suspicious, you can bet this'll be the first place he comes looking." Han told them.
"But, that's all we've got. We weren't expecting her for another couple of weeks at least." Jacen argued.
"I don't get paid 'til the end of the month." Tilly explained and Jacen hung his head, embarrassed.
Han suddenly realised the dilemma.
"We'll still have Jorj's cradle in storage; trust me, I know your Mother. Probably some old baby clothes too until we can get her kitted out properly. You could do a lot worse than ask your sister for help too, you know. She's got a baby girl as well remember." Han said.
Jacen nodded, face still averted and blushing despite himself.
"You need to make up the formula and store it in the refrigeration unit." Han offered. "You do have bottles I take it? A sterilisation unit?"
"We got the one that came with her." Jacen replied with an abashed shrug.
Han took a breath.
"I'm gonna go get down to the Mall. You..." He dug a pointed finger in Jacen's chest. "Get rid of everything. You hear me, everything!"
Han's long strides took him to the door almost before Jacen could catch up.
"Dad!" Jacen looked up at his father, almost apologetically adding. "Thank you."
Han glanced toward the bedroom door, then back at his son.
"She really is beautiful. I'm real proud o' ya." Han said.
Jacen straightened, his whole body taking on a stronger, more mature figure.
"Means a lot Dad, hearing you say that." Jacen smiled, his face lighting up. "I love you."
Han rolled his eyes, grabbed his child around the neck and ruffled his hair.
"I know that already." He admitted before releasing the boy. "Now go get rid of that stuff."
xxxxxxxxxxxx
On his way to the Mall, Han called Leia and told her not to expect him home. Her anxiety was almost too much for him to bear, but he promised her it was just that he felt he needed to be with their son for a while. She understood, wished them all well and told him she loved him.
Sometimes, it was all she could think to say.
Sometimes, it was all he needed to hear.
Jorj was distressed to hear his father wouldn't be back. Mostly, Leia suspected, because he had grown increasingly used to Han reading 'The Little Lost Bantha Cub' to him before bed.
Leia tried to make it up to him with an extra scoop of ice cream and even more cuddles than usual before it occurred to her that he was missing more than just his father's exceptional storytelling skills.
"Jorj honey, can Mama ask you something?" She queried as he sat on her lap, curled into a ball. She felt his head nod against her chest.
"You like Miss Fizz very much, don't you?" Leia asked, the head nodding again. "Would you be very sad if she wasn't your teacher any more?"
Jorj sat up and swivelled in her lap to face her, a worry frown creasing his young forehead.
"Because I ran away?" He sniffed.
"Well...yes and no." Leia replied.
Despite his learning difficulties, both Han and Leia tried not to lie to their son. Sometimes it meant sugar-coating the truth, but it could often stem the inevitable flow of tears.
"I'm sorry Mama!" Jorj sniffed back.
Another apology had been inevitable and Leia winced at her son's continued upset.
"Listen to me Jorj Bailey Solo." Leia took Jorj's face in her hands tenderly. "You shouldn't have run away, but you don't have to keep saying sorry."
The boy's eyes welled with tears and Leia smiled, folding him into her arms and rocking him lovingly.
"You're not to worry about it any more Jorj." She told him, kissing his forehead. "Can Mama ask you something else?"
Jorj's head nodded into her chest.
"Do you miss your friends at school?" Leia asked.
After some thought Jorj shook his head.
"No?" Leia questioned. "Jorj, look at me."
Reluctantly Jorj looked up, big brown eyes reflecting his mother's at the same age.
"Jorj? Don't you want to go back to school?" Leia asked.
"I like Aunt Winter." Jorj answered nervously.
"Those boys that were mean to you. They're not at school now. They can't tease you any more." She promised him as Jorj just sucked at his bottom lip. "Sweetheart, please tell me what's wrong."
"Mama, can I have a baby?" Jorj asked.
The question stopped Leia in her tracks. She had suspected her child was the victim of multiple bullying attempts, but his query both quashed that theory and surprised her.
"Well...you know it's the girl who actually has the baby, don't you?" She waited for his slightly embarrassed nod before continuing. "I'm sure you'll be a Papa to someone one day. When you're older."
Jorj slumped forward to snuggle into his mother's breast.
"I wish I was older now." He mumbled.
Leia cradled her son, rocked him and sang him an Alderaanian lullaby and wondered why it was a person could never be happy with how things are.
When she was Jorj's age, she recalled wanting to be older. Now that she was older, she longed for the carefree days of her youth.
Of course, the desire for change could have positive consequences too. Her hope for a future free from the grasp of the Empire had led her to Han and to a happiness she thought she had no right to claim.
"Jorj. Jorj, sweetheart." Leia gently shook her boy awake.
"I'm sleepy Mama." He mumbled through half-closed lips and tired eyes.
"I know baby. Mama's sorry for waking you, but she needs to ask you another question." Leia said.
The boy nodded, struggling to open his eyes.
"Mama and Papa have been talking and we need to know what you think." She continued. There would be no easy way to explain their plans to him, so Leia decided to keep the details down to a minimum. "How would you like for Mama and Papa and you to go live some place else?"
Jorj shrugged non-committally, his eyes growing heavy again and Leia pulled him gently back into her arms.
"It's all right Jorj. Go back to sleep, we can talk about this in the morning." Leia soothed and held him close.
It was too much for her to talk to him about on her own she realised. She and Han would need to explain their plans to him together and assess any damage leaving familiar surroundings might have on their child.
Her decision to travel with Han now seemed no more probable than overthrowing the Empire had felt when she was Jorj's age.
"And look how that turned out." Leia said quietly, smiling to herself.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
The night passed with relatively little trauma. Leia rocked Jorj until he was deep in slumber then carried him to his small bed, covered him in his favourite blanket and nestled him with his favourite toy.
She hoped one day he'd meet someone who could love him as much as she and Han did. Someone who would make him happy and give him the family he appeared to crave.
She hoped he would, but there was that nagging fear at the back of her mind that his disabilities might colour his abilities in the eyes of any suitor.
Of course, Han had seemed an improbable choice. Leia smiled again, kneeling beside her son's cot, stroking his downy hair.
"And look how that turned out." She whispered, her mind drifting back to another time. To a cold night on Hoth after another heated storm in a caf cup.
The rows she and Han played out in full view of whoever was lucky enough to be around were the stuff of both legend and envy.
Nothing and no one aroused that much passion in the Princess any more. Even talk about the death of Alderaan couldn't alight a fire in her eyes the way Han seemed to.
This one had started much the same as others had. Her accusing him of something, him rebuking her remark. Her counter claim of insubordination, his fierce attack on her devotion to a cause doomed to failure because of it's own inadequacies. Inadequacies he, and he alone, could recognise and put right. For a price.
The fight had escalated to name calling when the emergency call came through regarding a missing comrade. Han had answered the call and, by chance, been the one to find the young recruit in the frozen wastes. His tauntaun missing, the kid had been close to death when Han carried him back into the base.
The boy, for that was all he was, had multiple injuries both internal and external. Deep lacerations the medics initially concluded were the result of an avalanche of ice, though Han had seen no evidence of such. Whatever their cause, there was nothing the medics could do to save the young man's life and Leia had stayed by his side reminding him how courageous he had been, until the gurgling had stopped and his lungs breathed no more.
Han too had remained, as much watching over Leia as the young soldier she comforted as he lay dying beside her. When the boy passed, Han had slipped away while Leia remained to offer an Alderaanian prayer and to enquire after his family, insisting she be the one to contact them. She also suggested further investigation of the youth's injuries, the abrasions reminiscent of claw marks to her.
Then she had gone in search of Han, to apologise for her harsh words and to offer her gratitude for his heroism that day.
Approaching the Falcon, Chewbacca had greeted her with a steady stream of growls indicating where she might find the ship's Captain. The Wookiee had been right, Han was fixing an unbroken component by smashing it repeatedly against the Falcon's hull whilst cursing a torrent of vile Corellian expletives that should have shocked the young Princess, but which she found worryingly erotic.
She remained silently watching from the shadows of the doorway as his burst of energy suddenly subsided, giving way to heavy, rasping breaths. She watched his chest expand and contract, muscles causing his shirt to ripple.
He was a handsome man, there was no doubting that. Leia could easily recognise the signs even if she hadn't heard his virtues being extolled by any number of female officers about the base.
Watching him tear the shirt over his head and fling it angrily toward his bunk, Leia politely averted her eyes and cleared her throat lest he consider removing any more clothing.
Han spun to face her, his cheeks blazing from his impromptu workout.
"You want something?" He barked.
Leia quelled the temptation to snarl in return.
"I wanted to offer you my thanks, in person, for what you did for that young man." She said softly.
"Didn't help him much though, did it?" He scoffed in response and making no effort to cover his naked torso, Leia noted.
"You returned him to his home, to his friends. I feel sure in his final moments that single act meant more to him than anything." She told him.
Han snorted derisively.
"Whatever." He mumbled.
She took a step forward taking her just over the threshold between corridor and quarters.
"He was a Corellian." She stated.
"You knew him?" He queried.
"Not well. I'd seen him around the base and in a couple of briefings." Leia confessed. "I remember him as a competent pilot. And young. Unbelievably young."
"Yeah. I know. A good kid too. You remember to tell his folks that. He was a good kid." Han added.
"I can't." She said, sadly. "His family were visiting on Alderaan when..."
The sentence hung between them, leaving them both wondering if there might ever be a time when they wouldn't be led back to the day Alderaan died.
An image came to her, unbidden. The sight of her home world exploding in a brilliant flash of light. The perception of a race dying. The pain that stabbed at her heart and seemed to never quite go away.
"Hmm." Han finally grunted.
"Well..." Leia smiled and offered her hand. "I came to offer my thanks..."
Han looked down at the small appendage pointing in his direction.
"That really all you came here for?" He asked, that annoying smile of his crawling up the side of his cheek.
Leia arched her eyebrow at him, curiously.
"I was about to take a shower. Care to join me?" He queried.
And there it was. That libidinous streak that grated on her and excited her at the same time.
"Perhaps one day I will." She teased.
"That a promise Princess?" He grinned.
"Consider it a threat, Captain." She countered.
Han laughed as she withdrew her hand and turned to leave.
"Until then." He said to her back.
Leia silently fumed and rolled her eyes, why did that infuriating man always have to have the last word!
Leia wouldn't know she had fallen asleep kneeling beside her son until she woke the next morning with a kink in her neck that would bring back memories of falling asleep in the cockpit of the Falcon.