A/N: And now for Part 2 of my Special May Double Feature, hope you enjoy this one too! Read & Review.
Our story begins inside of a home that looked like a castle that was in the realm known as The Supernatural Realm as Thor held up a DVD copy of the "Star Wars" adventure had happened without Lionel, though he also had a DVD copy of "Spaceballs".
"I'm just saying if you'd like to be apart of PerkyGoth14's Special Double Feature for May, why don't we do this adventure, but without Atticus, Cherry, Mo, and Patch?" Thor smiled as he held the Spaceballs DVD up higher to his little friend.
"...Cherry might want some involvement," Lionel said. "She is a Mel Brooks fan."
"So would you like to do this one?" Thor grinned, looking a bit oafish with his toothy grin.
"Lemme answer that question with another question," replied Lionel. "Is chicken tasty?"
"...Most of the time, especially with honey barbecue sauce." Thor smiled, sticking his tongue out.
Lionel narrowed his eyes only slightly.
"Oh, uh, I mean 'yes'," Thor then said. "Sorry, that chicken question made me hungry."
"Hello? Shortstuff?!" Drell's voice called.
"Uncle's here!" Thor beamed in excitement.
"Whoopee." Lionel shrugged as he climbed on Thor's shoulder and went into the other room.
Thor's parents, Zolten and Moxie, talked with Drell in the other room while the boys were on their way over. Thor stalked across the floor, dragging his stomach like a predator as he came to try to sneak up on his uncle.
"Don't even think about it." Drell said without looking.
"Aww..." Thor pouted.
"I'm here 'cuz I have a task for you guys," Drell said as he looked down to them. "If you refuse, there'll be a worse alternative than being turned into a toad."
"Okay, what is it?" Lionel asked.
"Is that Spaceballs?" Drell asked as he saw the DVD that his nephew had in his grubby little paws.
"Uh-huh! Uh-huh!" Thor nodded like an energetic puppy. "We thought we could do it since Atticus and Mo did Star Wars with Cherry for the Double Feature."
"Excellent option," Drell smirked. "I suppose you could do this adventure... Unless you'd like to do the Holiday Special~"
Suddenly, there was a video clip on loop with Harvey Korman in drag, hosting a Julia Child-esque cooking show. "Stir, whip! Stir, whip! Stir, whip! Stir, whip! STIR!~"
"We'll do the adventure! We'll do the adventure!" Lionel and Thor gave in.
"I'm a genius." Drell smirked at himself.
"...What the bloody 'ell was that?" Lionel asked. "Whatever. Let's just begin."
"I hope you have fun," Drell told them before snapping his fingers which sent the two away. "I suggest you just relax and enjoy yourselves," he then glanced over at the readers who were looking at this story right now. "That goes for you all too."
"Is your brother talking to the wall again?" Zolten whispered to Moxie.
"You get used to it." Moxie replied.
Once upon a time warp within a fan fiction...
In a galaxy very, very, very, very, far away, there lived a ruthless race of beings known as... Spaceballs.
Chapter Eleven
The evil leaders of Planet Spaceball, having foolishly squandered their precious atmosphere, have devised a secret plan to take every breath of air away from their peace-loving neighbor, Planet Druidia. Today is Princess Vespa's wedding day and she will be in the company of a new friend. Unbeknownst to the princess, but knowest to us, danger lurks in the stars above... If you can read this, you don't need glasses.
"I guess we're in now." Lionel remarked as he and Thor flew through the skies in spirit form.
"I guess so," Thor replied. "I wonder how we'll be included... Maybe we'll help out this world's Han Solo and Chewbacca?"
"Sounds like it might take a while." Lionel remarked.
"Yeah... Whoa... Are we flying?" Thor then asked.
"We're in spirit form," explained Lionel. "This happens whenever we get transported into a movie."
Both boys watched as the massive ship, Spaceball I, entered the scene; a massive ship that took two minutes to cross the screen before they saw the stern of the ship, upon which was a bumper sticker that said "We Brake For Nobody."
Inside the ship, Colonel Sandurz stood amongst his crew, before a voice suddenly spoke up. "Colonel Sandurz!"
"What is is, Sergeant Rico?" asked the Colonel.
"You told me to let you know the minute Planet Druidia was in sight, sir!" declared Rico.
"...So?" asked Sandurz, following a brief period of silence.
"Planet Druidia is in sight, sir!" replied Rico.
"You're really a Spaceball," said Sandurz. "You know that, don't you?"
"Thanks, sir." Rico replied.
"Have you notified Lord Helmet?" asked the Col.
"Yes sir, I took the liberty," nodded Rico. "He's on his way."
"Make way for Dark Helmet!" declared a voice from out of frame.
A door opened, revealing who resembled that of a shorter Darth Vader who walked into the room before he soon stopped suddenly and seemed to be breathing heavily. A familiar boy with black and white hair soon approached Dark Helmet and removed the mask as the owner seemed to be hyperventilating.
"I couldn't breathe in that thing!" The man said from under the mask, showing a pale face with glasses.
"We're approaching Planet Druidia, sir." Colonel Sandurz reported.
"Good. I'll call Spaceball City, and notify President Skroob immediately." Dark Helmet approved.
"I already called him, sir," Rico spoke up. "He knows everything."
"What?!" Dark Helmet glared. "You went over my helmet?"
"Well, not exactly over it, sir," Rico replied nervously. "More on the side. I'll always call you first. It'll never happen again. Never, ever!"
"Give him the Schwartz." Jackson soon said to Dark Helmet with a scary grin on his face like he relished in misery and suffering.
"Oh, I'll give 'im the Schwartz, alright," Dark Helmet replied. "I'll give it to 'im, but GOOD!" And he pulled out his Schwartz Ring, causing Rico to flinch in terror and start backing away.
"Oh, shit!" The man exclaimed. "No, no, no, no, no, please, no, no, please, no, not that!"
Dark Helmet pulled his mask back down. "Yes... that."
A green beam shot from the ring, hitting Rico in the crotch and making him drop to the floor in pain; eventually, he was helped away by other Spaceballs.
Jackson laughed. "Man, that's always funnier than the last time!"
Dark Helmet pushed his mask back up. "Sandurz!"
The colonel covered his crotch. "Sir!" he exclaimed.
"I don't see Planet Druidia," replied Dark Helmet. "Where is it?"
"We don't have visual contact yet," replied Col. Sandurz. "But we have it on the radar screen. Shall I punch it up for you?"
Dark Helmet rolled his eyes. "Ah, never mind. I'll do it myself." he replied.
Sandurz nodded. "Very good, sir."
Soon, the both of them walked over to a device.
Dark Helmet looked at the monitor, but all he saw was churning and bubbling. "What's the matter with this thing?" he asked. "What's all this churning and bubbling? You call this a radar screen?"
"No sir, we call it..." Sandurz tapped the top of the machine. "'Mister Coffee'. Care for some?"
"Yes. I always have coffee when I watch radar," replied Dark Helmet. "You know that!"
"Of course I do, sir." Sandurz replied.
"Everybody knows that." Jackson rolled his eyes.
"Of course we do, sir!" The other soldiers added as they covered their crotches in fear.
"Now that I have my coffee, I'm ready to watch radar," Dark Helmet then said. "Where is it?"
"Right here, sir." Sandurz said, pointing to a sign that said "Mr. Radar".
"There it is, Planet Druidia, and underneath the air shield, 10,000 years of fresh air," Dark Helmet said as he observed the radar. "We must get through that air shield.
"We will, sir," Sandurz nodded. "Once we kidnap the princess, we will force her father, King Roland, to give us the combination to the air shield. Thereby destroying Planet Druidia and saving Planet Spaceballs."
"Everybody got that? Good!" Dark Helmet asked the audience before nodding firmly. "When will the princess be married?"
"Within the hour, sir." Sandurz reported.
"Well, I hope it's a long ceremony, 'cuz it's gonna be a short honeymoon," Dark Helmet nodded before he took a sip of his coffee before suddenly spitting it out. "Hot! Too hot!" he then groaned from inside his helmet.
"Next time, he might wanna switch to decaf or chamomile tea." Jackson deadpanned to himself.
As Lionel and Thor continued flying overhead to their location, they made a brief stopover on Planet Druidia; a peaceful, lush planet similar to Earth. The main focus was on a chapel, outside of which there's a sign that reads: "Today, The royal wedding of Princess Vespa to Prince Valium. Tomorrow, Bingo." Inside the chapel, King Roland and Princess Vespa were getting ready for the wedding.
"Ah, if only your mother were alive to see this day." sighed King Roland.
"All right, now is everyone ready?" asked the usher.
King Roland nodded. "Yes."
But Vespa had other thoughts. "No! Where's my droid of honor?" she asked.
"Oh, dear, yes! Where's Dot? Dot? Dot Matrix?!" The usher beckoned before he looked behind a curtain. "Oh, thank god."
Dot Matrix was a golden robot who looked like C-3PO, but female, rolled in on roller-skate feet.
"Where have you been?" The husher asked.
"Here I am! I'm sorry," replied Dot. "I had to make a pit stop. I'm so excited, I couldn't hold my oil!"
Lionel glanced at the readers. "Joan Rivers, everybody!" he exclaimed.
Cherry soon walked into the scene. "How did I get here?" she then complained. "Why am I here? What is my purpose?"
"It's Cherry!" Lionel and Thor beamed.
"Just remember that you're gonna be my flower girl, bridesmaid, and ring bearer since Dot promised to be the droid of honor," Vespa told Cherry, a bit snootily. "You do all the hard stuff while I get married and you watch me."
"Sounds good to me." Cherry rolled her eyes, her wit as dry as the service that seemed so boring it put the groom to sleep.
"All right, people," The usher began. "It's magic time."
"All right, everyone, starting on the left foot." King Roland said before he put his right foot out.
"Daddy, that's your right foot." Vespa said to him.
"It's too late, keep going." King Roland replied as they walked down the aisle together.
Roland and Vespa entered the main sanctuary of the chapel, as the organist began playing the Bridal March.
Halfway down, Vespa stopped. "Daddy?" she asked, making the organist stop playing, ending with a sour note. "Must I go through with this?"
"I'm sorry, my dear. You have to." replied King Roland.
The organist resumed playing as Vespa and Roland started walking again. But a short distance later, Vespa stopped a second time, making the organist cease again. "But Daddy... Daddy, I don't love him."
"I'm sorry, Vespa," replied King Roland. "He's the last prince left in the galaxy."
Prince Valium let out a big yawn.
"Must've been in short supply." Cherry remarked as Vespa and Roland walked forward to the altar, the organist finally completing the Bridal March.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here, on this most joyous occasion to witness Prinecss Vespa, daughter of King Roland-" said the minister; but then, Vespa suddenly took off running, dragging Dot behind her, and bringing Cherry with her as well. "...Going right past the altar, heading down the ramp, and out the door!"
"Well, there she goes," Lionel remarked. "And I reckon it's time we got going too." He and Thor resumed their spirit forms and were off through space once more.
Somewhere in space, a Winnebago with wings was flying through space with music coming out of it. This vehicle belongs to the most interesting heroes for hire group in the galaxy. Inside were two men, one was a half man, half dog hybrid, also known as a mawg who was eating some ice cream and jamming to the music while the other man seemed to be drunk. Just then, the phone started ringing, so the human male began to wake up and grunted from the noise.
"Barf. Barf. Barf!" The human called out to his mawg friend. "Barf!"
"Always when I'm eatin'." The mawg who was named Barf complained before he put down the ice cream and picked up a doggy treat that was Milkbones.
"Barf!" The human complained.
"What can I do you for, Boss?"
"Where ya been?"
"Oh, just grabbin' myself a snack. You want some?"
"No!"
"C'mon. A little hair on the dot," Barf then said. "I also got this strange scent that's coming near our location."
"No," Lone Starr replied. "Answer that for me, will ya?"
"No problem," said Barf. As he turned to get into his chair, he accidentally smacked Lone Starr with his tail.
"Will you watch that thing?!" asked Lone.
"Oh, sorry. I'll just put it on audio," replied Barf. "That way they won't be able to see ya." He accidentally hit the video switch. "Yello?"
As the video monitor turned on, a crash was heard from in the back of the Winnebago. Before either of the pilots could check it out, the monitor turned on, revealing a silver man in a black suit.
"Hello, Lone Starr."
"Sorry, wrong switch." Barf replied sheepishly.
"Hello, Vinnie," said Lone. "What do you want?"
Vinnie shook his head. "No, no, no, no, no. It's not what I want. It's what he wants." he looked to his left, and the monitor panned over to reveal a massive, cackling blob of cheese covered with pepperoni.
Lionel and Thor poked their heads out to get a better look.
"Pizza the Hutt!" Lone Starr and Barf exclaimed.
"Dude... That guy's a mondo-size mozzarella special..." Lionel blinked, rubbing his eyes in shock.
"I may never eat pizza again." Thor groaned sickly.
"Well, if it isn't Lone Starr," declared Pizza. "And his sidekick, Puke!"
"That's Barf." The mawg corrected firmly.
"Barf, Puke, whatever," Pizza the Hutt scoffed. "Where's my money?"
"Don't worry, Pizza. You'll have it by next week." Lone Starr promised.
"No, no," Pizza the Hutt demanded. "I gotta have it by tomorrow."
"100,000 spacebucks, by tomorrow?" Lone Starr soon asked.
"A 100,000?" Pizza the Hutt laughed. "No way. You forgot late charges, which brings it up to, um, 1,000,000 spacebucks."
"A million?!" Lone Starr gasped. "That's unfair."
"Unfair to pay all, but enough to payee, but you gonna pay it, or else." Pizza the Hutt threatened as Lionel and Thor simply watched helplessly.
"Or else what?" Barf asked as brave as he could.
"Tell 'em, Vinnie." Pizza the Hutt told his mook.
"Or else Pizza is gonna send out for you." Vinnie remarked.
The two soon began to laugh before Vinnie seemed to take a piece of Pizza the Hutt to eat as Thor turned away and brought out a random bucket as he made vomit noises, turning as green as a freshly cooked piece of broccoli.
"Chow, boys." Pizza the Hutt smirked before signing off.
As the screen shut off, Barf's fake laughter turned to sobbing.
"Yowza..." Lionel remarked while he held Thor's hair as he puked. "These guys are really in trouble..."
"We gotta help 'em..." Thor gulped. "Somehow... Someway... I wish I could magic them up some starbucks."
"Spacebucks." Lionel corrected.
"Those too." Thor then said.
"Well, here's hoping that something happens to help them out," Lionel replied. "I'd zap up the cash myself, but that would kinda kill the tension."
"Yeah..." Thor pouted. "Sometimes the life of an adventurer is hard. When do we make ourselves known since Cherry was with that Rule 63 C-3PO and spoiled rotten wannabe Princess Leia?" he then asked.
"I guess we can let them know soon," Lionel shrugged. "Go for it."
"All right, this might tickle a little." Thor said as he used his magic.
And so, the two were transported into the Winnebego with Barf and Lone Starr which, indeed, tickled a bit.