Outside the Temple...
Dark Helmet was standing next to the secret door. He couldn't see because it is covered in sand as Sandurz was telling the troops what to do before Jackson and Vicky came back.
"Keep searching," Sandurz told the other troopers before looking at their boss. "It's no use, sir. We've searched everywhere."
"Wait. I feel the presence of the Schwartz." Dark Helmet suddenly said.
"The Schwartz?" Sandurz repeated.
"Yes. It's coming..." Dark Helmet said as he brought out the ring which made Sandurz and Jackson cover their crotches. "From somewhere down... There."
Jackson soon brushed away the sand. "There's a secret entrance with a letter here," he then said. "It's a Y."
"Yogurt," Dark Helmet growled. "Yogurt. I hate Yogurt. Even with strawberries."
"Yogurt?" Vicky asked.
"I'll explain later." Dark Helmet told the redheaded girl.
"I'll call the attack squad, sir." Sandurz suggested.
"We can't go in there; Yogurt has the Schwartz," Dark Helmet advised. "It's far too powerful."
"But, sir, your ring. Don't you have the Schwartz, too?" Jackson asked.
"No, he got the up-side. I got the down-side," Dark Helmet explained. "You see, there's two kinds of every Schwartz."
"Well, how are we gonna go in there and get her?" Jackson soon asked.
"We will not go in there," Dark Helmet smirked with an idea hatched from his brain. "She will come out to us."
"What a brilliant idea." Jackson grinned.
"Most brilliant!" Vicky added. "Then after that, I'll get revenge on the twerp and that strong Hercules mermaid wannabe for getting me fired from the Turners and ruined my reputation as a babysitter!"
"Uh... Right." Dark Helmet blinked at Vicky's motivations for being a villain.
The group was asleep in the temple, when Vespa heard a mysterious voice. 'Vespa... Vespa, my child; Where are you?'
The princess woke up. "Daddy...?" she asked.
'Vespa, it's your father, King Roland...' said the voice. 'Come to me...'
"Daddy... Daddy, I hear you... I hear you..." Vespa replied as she got to her feet. "Where are you?" she asked, as she walked out the door.
'Follow my voice...' echoed King Roland's voice. 'Come to me... Come to me..."
By then, Dot had woken up. "Vespa, where are you going?" she asked, but received no response as the princess was off and about.
Cherry was fast asleep for a few moments before an eye opened. "Hey, wait!" she then called out to the princess. "Come back, Princess Hemorrhoid!"
'Vespa... Come to me...' King Roland called as he seemed to be standing out in the middle of the desert.
"Daddy, is it really you?" Vespa asked as she came to her father.
"Yes, my dear," King Roland replied. "I guarantee it. Would I lie?"
"Daddy." Vespa said softly.
"Oh, Vespa, don't." Dot said as she turned into Supervision Mode.
Vespa soon reached out to hug her father, but he soon turned out to be Dark Helmet as she fainted and fell into his arms from surprise at the overwhelming trick put on her. "Fooled you!" he then laughed as he pulled on his mask.
"Okay, that's it..." Cherry said before she narrowed her eyes and took out a lightsaber. "Time to get serious."
"Hello, Cherry Butler." Jackson grinned.
"Jackson?!" Cherry asked. "What're you doing here?!"
"Making your worst nightmares come true..." Jackson grinned as he approached her. "Tell no one what you saw and I might let you live."
"Y-You don't scare me!" Cherry said as she backed away. "You may be an inhuman, sadistic, cruel beast, but I won't betray my friends!"
"Would you guys keep it down?" Lionel asked, coming over while holding a cinderblock. "Some of us are TRYING to sleep here!"
Cherry froze on the spot a bit.
Lionel looked over to her and at Jackson. "...Whaaaat's goin' on here?" he then asked.
"Lionel, you remember Atticus's worst enemy and my personal living nightmare next to Drell: Wacko Jacko de Vil." Cherry introduced as Jackson narrowed his eyes.
"Ohhh, okay, he came to attack us," Lionel replied as he rubbed his eyes. "So then Princess Vespa actually stumbled into a trap set by Dark Helmet. Yeah, gonna hafta ask you to let her go. Cherry, I mean."
"Am I the only one disturbed that Cherry used the term 'Wacko Jacko'?" Thor commented.
Jackson chuckled darkly before he grabbed Cherry by her throat and soon flung her back towards Lionel and Thor. "There ya go!" he then said. "The boss and I got what we wanted."
Cherry grunted from the fall as she looked up at the black and white-haired boy.
"Take them all aboard, and put the princess in my quarters." Dark Helmet demanded as he brought Vespa to Sandurz.
"Yes, sir." Sandurz replied as he took Vespa away, off-screen.
"Now she is mine," Dark Helmet smirked. "And you are coming along too for a private party."
"I... Don't think so," Cherry narrowed her eyes. "I could kick your butt here and now if I wanted to and make this story end quicker."
"But we won't, because the folks came for a story, and we intend to give 'em one," Lionel replied. "So... Forget it, Spacebar!" He chucked down a smoke grenade, and when the dust cleared, both Lionel and Cherry had vanished into the cave, along with the entrance.
Dark Helmet coughed a bit before glaring. "Ugh... We'll come back for those punks later!" he said while coughing. "We have the princess, let's move on from there!"
At the temple, Lone Starr and Barf came out and Yogurt's little friends began to chatter something.
"What are they sayin'?" Lone asked in confusion.
"They've taken the princess." Yogurt translated.
Lone Starr and Barf soon ran outside only to find that the Spaceball 1 took off towards space just as they got out the door.
"Spaceballs! Too late." Lone Starr complained.
"Don't worry, Boss. We'll get her back," Barf reassured before looking around. "Hey, where'd those kids go? I hope that ship didn't get 'em too."
"Well, your hopes are not unfounded!" Lionel declared as he and Cherry reappeared in the temple. "We did our best, but we were outmatched. Our best course of action was to retreat so we could regroup."
"You're okay!" Barf beamed as he picked Cherry and Lionel off of the ground and hugged them, swaying them a bit.
"Yeah! Yeah! We're okay! We're okay!" Cherry cried out. "Now put me down before I throw up! You better not lick us too, Fido!"
Barf then put them back down as Cherry suddenly looked dizzy before she fell in the middle of the ground with a low moan. "I'm just glad you guys are okay," he then said. "I know we have our differences, but I really like ya guys."
"Well, I appreciate that, Barfster," replied Lionel. "I think you're an interesting fellow yourself, even if my associate sees you as a nuisance."
"Why, thank you!" Barf smiled proudly of himself.
Cherry soon sat up, rubbing her head.
The tiny creatures soon filled up the Winnebego with gas so that they could get back on track and rescue Princess Vespa.
"Thanks for the gas, Yogurt." Lone Starr said to his new friend.
"You're welcome and here," Yogurt said as he tossed him a fortune cookie. "Just in case you get hungry."
"A fortune cookie?" Lone Starr asked as he caught it.
"Yes. Remember, open it before you eat it." Yogurt nodded.
"Thanks." Lone Starr smiled.
"More fortune cookies?" Cherry commented as she seemed to experience a little bit of déjà vu. "I thought we ordered Chinese last week."
"We did," Thor smiled. "They're good to have, plus you get a nice tip of advice after eating a sweet treat!"
"Well, we're on our way," said Lone as he put the cookie in his pocket. "Will we ever see you again?"
Yogurt shrugged. "Who knows?" he asked. "God willing we'll all meet again in 'Spaceballs II: The Search for More Money'."
"Which has yet to be made!" Lionel stated.
"Goodbye, Lone Starr." said Yogurt.
"Goodbye, Yogurt." Starr replied, as they both shook hands. But when Lone pulled his hand back, he saw something in his hand.
"The ring of the Schwartz... No, I can't take this." he said.
"Take it! Take it!" Yogurt advised. "You might need it!"
Lone gave a smile. "Thanks. I'll never forget you. Wish me luck." he replied.
"Dink-dink!" said the Dinks, as Lone boarded the Eagle-5 with his compatriots, and set off into space once more.
"See ya, guys." Cherry said to the Dinks.
The Dinks replied to her as it was time to go.
Meanwhile, on the Spaceball 1, in Dark Helmet's private room...
"So, Princess Vespa, at last, I have you in my clutches. To have my way with you. The way I want to," Dark Helmet grinned before he was shown to be playing with dolls and soon imitated the princess. "No. No, please, leave me alone," he then spoke in his dark voice whenever his helmet was down. "No, you are mine," he then made a nerdy voice when pretending to be Lone Starr. "Not so fast, Helmet. Lone Starr. Yes, it's me. I'm here to save my girlfriend. Hi, honey. Now you are going to die. Oh, oh, ohhhh," he then imitated Barf, Cherry, Lionel, and Thor next. "Hey, what did you do to our friend? The same thing I'm going to do to you, meddlers! Oh, ohhh. And you too," he then imitated Dot next. "Oh, ohh. Now, Princess Vespa, at last we are alone. No, no, I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Leave me alone... Yet, I find you strangely attractive. Of course you do. Druish princesses are always attracted to money and power and I have both, and you know it. No, leave me alone. No, kiss me. No, yes, no, yes, yes, no, no, ah, oh, oh, oh, ah, ohh, oh, your helmet is so big."
A camera was soon shown and he seemed to be being filmed with the sounds of two malicious teenagers snickering at the scene.
"Lord Helmet!" Sandurz suddenly called as he slammed open the door.
"WHAT?!" Dark Helmet cried out as he grabbed the dolls out of Sandurz's sight.
"You're needed on the bridge, sir." Sandurz informed.
"Knick on my door! KNOCK NEXT TIME!"
"Yes, sir."
There was then a quick beat of silence.
"Did you see anything?" Dark Helmet asked.
"No, sir," Sandurz replied. "I didn't see you playing with your dolls again."
"Good!" Dark Helmet nodded.
ELSEWHERE, ON THE PLANET SPACEBALL...
President Skroob was busy taking a whiz when he received a sudden call.
"President Skroob?" asked Commanderette.
The president quickly covered his groin with a shocked yell. "I told you never to call me on this wall! This is an unlisted wall!"
"Sorry, sir, but it's very urgent," replied Commanderette. "Princess Vespa has just been brought to your office, and Lord Helmet and Colonel Sandurz are awaiting you there."
"Alright, alright. Tell them I'll be right there!" said President Skroob.
"Yes, sir." Commanderette gave a salute.
President Skroob returned the gesture, until he realized he'd uncovered his groin, which he quickly put his hands back over. As Commanderette smirked and vanished, Skroob flushed the toilet and exited.
Later that night, Dark Helmet and Sandurz were talking with King Roland on the screen and Vespa was shown to be on a table behind them along with a doctor, Jackson, Vicky, and some friends of hers, as well as two others.
"Helmet, you fiend, what's going on?" King Roland demanded. "What are you doing to my daughter?"
"Permit me to introduce the brilliant, young plastic surgeon, Dr. Philip Schlotkins," Dark Helmet informed. "The greatest nose job man in the entire universe and Beverly Hills.
"Your Highness." Dr. Schlotkins nodded with a low and loyal bow.
"Nose job? I don't understand. She's already had a nose job," King Roland replied. "It was a Sweet 16 present."
"No, it's not what you think," Dark Helmet remarked. "It's much, much, worse. If you do not give me the combination to the air shield, Dr. Schlotkins will give your daughter back..." he then held up a picture of a bigger nose on the princess. "Her old nose!"
Jackson gave a whistle at that. "Quite a schnoz, huh?"
"Heh," Vicky smirked. "Makes my brother's mouth look like a tiny little yapper."
"You have a brother?" Jackson asked Vicky.
"It's a long story," Vicky narrowed her rose-colored eyes. "He's never gonna be a brother to anyone ever again." she then said with a very creepy and sadistic smirk and winked to her fellow evil babysitters, who winked back, who helped her form the organization known as B.R.A.T: Babysitters Raging Against Twerps.
"Nooooooooooooooooooo!" Princess Vespa cried out. "Where did you get that?!"
"All right, I'll tell. I'll tell!" King Roland exclaimed.
"No, daddy, no. You mustn't!" Vespa begged.
"You're right, my dear," the king replied. "I'll miss your new nose. But I will not tell them the combination no matter what!"
Dark Helmet shrugged. "Very well. Dr. Schlotkins, do your worst."
"My pleasure." replied the doctor.
The table turned horizontal, and Vespa passed out.
"No, wait, wait. I'll tell. I'll tell!" King Roland exclaimed.
Dark Helmet smirked. "I knew it would work." He and Sandurz got closer to the screen, the Col. ready to write it down. "All right, give it to me."
"The combination is... 1... 2... 3... 4... 5." said the king, as Sandurz wrote down each of the numbers.
"So the combination is one, two, three, four, five," Dark Helmet said as he raised his mask. "That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage!"
Col. Sandurz nodded at the king. "Thank you, Your Highness." he said.
Jackson and Vicky rolled their eyes, along with the other evil babysitters. Sandurz soon took a remote out of his pocket, pointed it at the wall, and hit a button and a giant blue screen appeared with a bunch of warnings and threats like in a computer error message which would prompt a resetting.
"What'd you do?" Dark Helmet's voice asked.
"I turned off the wall." Sandurz's voice replied.
"No, you didn't. You turned off the whole story!"
"Well, I must have pressed the wrong button."
"Well, turn it back on. Put the story back on."
"Yes, sir. Yes, sir."
The screen of text soon came back on as Dark Helmet and Sandurz were standing in front as Dr. Schlotkins seemed to be making love to the young woman.
"We gotta get that thing fixed. We're back, and we have the combination," Dark Helmet said before calling to the doctor. "Schlotkins."
"What?" Dr. Schlotkins asked as the woman zipped back up her dress.
"We're done with you," Dark Helmet told him. "Go back to the golf course and work on your puts.
Dr. Schlotkins nodded at that. "Let's go Arnold. Come, Gretchen. Of course, you know, I'll still have to bill you for this." he then said to his associates before telling Dark Helmet the last part.
"And you guys... Do whatever teenage girls do..." Dark Helmet said to Vicky and the other teenage girls. "...What do you do anyway?"
"Well, unlike most teenage girls, my friends and I here spend our babysitting time by torturing twerps," Vicky replied. "I guess we'll plan for any future gigs we might get."
"Atticus Fudo ruined your reputation though." Jackson reminded his girlfriend.
"DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME, JACKSON!" Vicky whined before she and the other girls soon left. "C'mon, Lauren, Alyssa, Mercy, Libra, Tiffany, and Brandy."
President Skroob entered the room. "Well, did it work? Where's the king?" he asked.
"It worked, sir. We have the combination!" replied Dark Helmet.
"Great! Now we can take every last breath fresh air from planet Druidia. What's the combination?" asked Skroob.
"One, two, three, four, five."
"One, two, three, four, five? That's amazing," replied the president. "I've got the same combination on my luggage! Prepare Spaceball 1 for immediate departure!"
Sandurz gave a salute. "Yes, sir!" And he and the others headed out the door.
"And change the combination on my luggage!" stated Skroob.
As Dark Helmet walked through the door, it closed on him. Jackson snickered at that.
"Aaaugh!" Dark Helmet cried out in misfortune.