Chapter Six: Life is A Rock

Severus sucked in air with a grimace and nearly pulled his hand away as Lily held it out.

"Sorry, but you need to hold still." She pressed the cloth to the scraps on his hand. "Almost done." Lily sat up in the chair and glanced around the library. "I hope you told them the truth."

"Who?" He asked as he looked at her.

"McGonagall and Slughorn."

"With what?" He raised an eyebrow.

"That you aren't going to harm yourself."

He tilted his head a little and looked at her eyes, "I'm not. I told you so. I meant it."

She reached into her pocket and pulled out her wand. With a huff, she pointed it at his hand and spoke a spell. He moved his fingers in and out as the pain eased.

"I wish you hadn't lied to them though. That you aren't or weren't suicidal."

"Pssh, you really think I was going to tell them?"

"No, but you were, are, suicidal. You should seek help from someone."

"I'm fine," he spoke through gritted teeth, "I don't need help, Lily." He looked down at his Potions book sitting on the table. "Guess I need to catch up on my work."

Lily smiled, "Well, you can. If anyone can catch up, it's you." A small grin formed at the corner of her mouth, "Not that you need it. Think in Potions," she motioned to the book he had just opened, "You were already ahead."

"I need to catch up on my assignments." Severus took out his quill with a sigh.

"We can do them together if you want?"

Severus glanced up, his eyes on her, "Are you sure you want to spend that much time with me?"

Lily looked up from her Muggle Studies book, "Depends on if you want to spend that time with me."

Severus nearly rolled his eyes. She really wanted to know if he wanted to spend his time with her? "Won't your Gryffindor pals wonder why you are talking to me again?"

She waved her hand forward and scoffed, "That's not their concern."

"Then you'll have to make excuses for me again." He demurred.

She didn't look up from writing, just shrugged, "What excuses?"

He scoffed. "You said that before. You made excuses for me for years."

This time she glanced up, "Because you spent so much time with Rosier and Mulciber and Avery. They wondered why I'd hang out with someone who spent time with them."

Severus sighed as he turned the page of his book. He put his hand to his temple and rubbed it as it burned. Branches of a tree outside beat against the window as raindrops raced down the pane. Light from the waxing gibbous moon was fast increasing as the day's light was disappearing. The night was coming again and he choked. He wasn't supposed to be alive to have to endure another night.

"We should head to the dining hall for dinner."

"You go ahead. I'm not hungry."

"Sev, you've barely eaten anything today. You have to eat. Starving yourself is still killing yourself."

"I'm just not hungry."

"At least come and try to eat something. Anything."

Severus mentally groaned. "Fine. I'll go eat something," he grumbled.

She stood up and motioned her hand forward. He slid the chair back slowly and leisurely rose to his feet. He strolled behind her down to the dining hall. Severus stood at the entrance inside the dining hall and watched Lily walk over to the Gryffindor table. Hands in his pockets he sauntered over to the Slytherin table.

Lily sat down at the table making sure she would see the Slytherin table from her view.

"Did you manage to find the Snape kid?" Mary asked as she took a seat beside of Lily.

"Oh, um, yeah, I did."

"Was he in big trouble?" Sirius mocked.

"No," Lily half snapped.

"Come to think of it," James said as he sat down across from Mary, "I haven't really seen Snape much."

Lily shrugged, "He apparently hasn't been too well. That's why they wanted to see him. Guess to make up some work or something." She cleared her throat and took a sip of water, eyeing the cup instead of them. As she glanced up from her glass, she could see Severus sitting off at the back corner of the table alone. Her heart sunk a little as she pushed the potatoes around her plate.

"Not hungry, Lily?" Mary asked.

"Not really."

"Hope Snivellus didn't give you his sickness," Sirius stated.

"Don't call him that!" She snapped, "And I'm fine, just a lot on my mind right now." She took a bite of potato.

"Okay, fine." Sirius put his hands up. "Sorry."

Severus pushed around the peas on his plate and picked up a yorkshire pudding. He ate it slowly, mindlessly, but shoveled the peas into his mouth and took a large swig of water to wash it down.

When he glanced up over the Gryffindor table, he sighed as he watched her chat with her friends. Severus shoved his plate away and got up from the table. With his hands back in his pockets, he strolled out of the dining hall. Hardly anyone was in the halls as he made his way down the corridor.

Lily eyed the Slytherin table and noticed Severus was gone. She sucked her breath in and stood up, pushing her plate with half of her meal away. As she stepped over the bench, she smacked her knee against the table. She grimaced and gritted her teeth.

"Are you okay?" Mary asked.

"Yeah, it's fine. I'm fine."

"You didn't eat much."

"I just remembered something I have to do."

"Are you coming back?" Sirius asked.

"No."

"Can I have your yorkshire pudding then?"

Lily scoffed and threw her right hand out, her palm faced up, "Have at it." She hurried out of the dining hall and darted her eyes back and forth and only saw empty corridors. Dammit, Severus, she thought, where did you go? Where would he go? She walked briskly down the hall as she pondered his whereabouts. It was raining and dark outside, so surely not there. He didn't seem to want to go back to his dorms, so highly doubted there. Maybe the library? Or maybe he had gone back to one of the study rooms? She hoped he had not gone back to a tower.

Finally, she reached the library door and leaned over and held her knees. She swallowed as she tried to catch her breath before entering the library. A sweep of the library yielded empty results, so to the study rooms she went. As she weaved her way around the halls towards the study rooms, she nearly jumped when she saw him walking her direction.

"Severus!"

He leaned his head up and stopped walking.

She sprinted to him, "Severus, I saw you'd left. I didn't know where you'd gone."

"You don't have to follow me everywhere."

"Well, no, I just didn't know what happened. I'm just concerned if everything is okay or not."

Severus folded his arms across his chest with a dour expression. "I think I'm going to take a shower. I don't think you want to follow, do you?" he asked.

She gave a side smile, "I think you can do that alone."

He uncrossed his arms, "I'm going to shower and then get some of my work caught up."

As he turned, she bit her lip, "Severus?"

He cocked his head back her direction.

"I'm going to my dorm for awhile but, if you need me, for anything, just come to the dorms. Just say that, um, that Slughorn sent you for me. If they question why, just say it's for the Slug Club or something." She stuck her hand in her pocket and then took his hand and placed hers over it and put a rock with a piece of glass in the center of his hand. "If it's late, even if it's in the middle of the night, turn it over three times and I'll know, and I'll find you. If you just need to talk or just want company, especially if you feel suicidal," she closed his hand over the rock and squeezed his hand, "Please let me know. Even if it's 2AM. I mean it." She let go of his hand and took a step back.

"Okay." He took a deep breath in through his nose and blew it out softly.

She watched as he put the rock in his pocket and glanced at her a moment. After a silent few seconds, he nodded and turned around. She watched him stroll down the corridor until he was out of her vision.