Chapter 17: To let go
Hellooooo, hellooooo welcome back, everyone!
May I humbly present you all; chapter 17 of this emotional rollercoaster ride that I call 'Truth'!
I'm so happy you guys enjoyed the last one, and I really hope you'll like this chapter just as much! Please tell me what you think, it would be so awesome to hear your opinions!
This time, I'm going to try to cut myself short since I can't seem to stop rambling whenever I start thanking you guys, hahahahahah! But let me tell you, I'm beyond grateful that you gave this story a chance, and that you all stick with me to see where this journey takes us! Especially after rereading the first chapter myself, I want to tell you all how much I appreciate that you wrote me so kind reviews even though it was absolutely terrible! And I'm really sorry about that too, I will definitely do my best to fix those awful chapters, each one of them!
Thank you so very much for allowing me to improve, and even offering me your help at times! That was something I never even dreamed of when I published the first chapter, believe me, and I was almost crying when I saw those adorable comments! Your nice words of encouragement were soooo touching, and I promise I'll get even better at writing by the time I finish this story and start my next one, just watch me! In fact, my friend lamperouge rolo and I have already started to edit the first chapter, so if you like to see how that turned out, you can always check it out once we're done! I would be honored to hear your opinions again!
And, as always, thank you so, so very much, my sweetie lamperouge rolo, for lending me your help with these way tooooo long chapters (I just can't stop writing hahahah)! You're so amazing, and I'm really happy to call you my friend! Thank you for everything you do for me, I truly appreciate it! I love you so much, my girl, you're the best!
And, the same goes for my adorable friends, jellyann and maddiesmt too! I love you guys so much, and if you see this note, I hope you're doing well!
And with that, let's jump straight in, shall we?
Take care everybody!
'Grandpa? Where did Daddy go? Why isn't he with us?'
'Your father has a lot of work to do, Erina. He will be staying overseas so that he can get some things sorted out.'
'Oh… when is he going to come back?'
A worn out looking Nakiri Senzaemon exhaled a long breath, eyes drifting from his barely four-year-old granddaughter to one of the large windows in their spacious living room.
'We talked about this before, child… I'm not sure when he will return. He didn't say anything when he brought you here one year ago.'
'That's not fair… did he go to Mommy? I want my Mommy. Why isn't she here?'
'She is… on her own trip right now, dear. Not with your father.'
'Why? Where? I want to go too! Let's go to her, Grandpa!'
He reached out and placed his hand softly on her head, lips pressed together in a thin line at the sight of fresh tears welling up in the little girl's eyes.
How often would they have to repeat this conversation until she understood the true meaning behind his words?
For how much longer was he forced to endure this torment?
He was tired of it…
'I'm afraid that's impossible for the moment, my dear. You know you should focus on your studies instead, right? Your Mother and Father are busy, and if someone is busy, you can't disturb them no matter what. Besides, don't you like staying here with me? You're breaking your old Grandfather's heart.'
'I like staying with you Grandpa! Please don't be sad. I'll be a good girl I promise.'
Small fingers tugged apologetically on his long beard when the headmaster leaned slightly forward, picking the little girl up to let her sit in his lap, just like he always did as soon as she had this particularly guilty expression on her face, a look he thought no child should ever sport so young in age.
A few seconds passed with neither of them saying a word, the silence stretching endlessly long until the child in his arms turned to face him, a frustrated look in her eyes.
''Sorry for making you sad, Grandpa. It's really fun here, really. I get to play games with Alice and a-and I think I'm getting better at my taste testing exercises too! But…'
'Then there is nothing else you need to worry about, dear. Just attend your lectures every day, spend some time with your cousin, and I assure you all will be fine. You want to make your parents and me proud, don't you?'
'Yes, Grandfather!'
'Good.'
They sat there for a few minutes, enjoying the sight of the beautiful stars shining in the night sky, before a loud yawn suddenly echoed in Senzaemon's ears. He was amused to find his granddaughter rubbing her eyes repeatedly as if attempting to prevent the sleepiness from taking over.
Of course she would be tired after the straining day she just went through. Taste testing appointments, grade school preparations, cooking classes, and above all, the constant back and forth from one location to another would eventually wear anyone out. There was only so much a child was able to withstand before her body would start showing signs of exhaustion. He knew that it was inevitable, considering the number of chefs in her daily appointment list who'd want to get their dishes validated by the God Tongue. However, it was his responsibility to raise her now, and he would make sure she is capable of withstanding that kind of pressure, taking his place one day, since Amelia couldn't anymore, and living a life fit for a true queen.
It had been his daughter's last wish after all…
'Hey, Grandpa…? D-do… do you think Mommy never takes me with her because she doesn't like me? I-I've only seen her in those huge pictures hanging all around the house, but not really in person… Is she mad at me?'
He sighed, wishing that this would be the last time this question is raised.
Unfortunately, his choices on the matter are severely limited. He had to either endure the sting that topic invoked repeatedly or choose to tell Erina that her mother would not come back anymore. Neither seemed particularly appealing but he'd rather lie every day until his granddaughter falls asleep in his lap than crush her innocent heart.
He is convinced that it was simply too early to tell her the truth.
Senzaemon closed his eyes, releasing another breath as his hand stroked her short hair in order to lull her to sleep as soon as possible.
'No, my dear, she isn't upset. Trust me, she would have loved to be here with us right now, read many bedtime stories with you, and teach you everything about cooking herself. But… your mother was needed somewhere else as well, to reach great heights in a place that we can't go to right now. You understand that, don't you?'
'Yeah… I guess so… I still miss her a lot though…'
'I know, child. Me too.'
Another yawn escaped her mouth, amethysts moving up to the starts and back down to the floor as she laid her head on her grandfather's stomach.
'…Please come back soon…, Mommy… I want… to bake a cake for you, like… like Alice did… for me…'
With her eyes fluttering closed, she eventually drifted into a deep slumber, just like always when another conversation about 'mommy' came to a close.
The sight of her peaceful expression warmed Senzaemon's heart as he continued to stroke her honey blonde tresses, reminiscing about times when he had done this to Amelia herself every night before she fell asleep in his lap.
Maybe one day, he would have the chance to do it again once he reached his own end…
…
She opened her eyes to the sight of her mother's bedroom, surrounded by familiar looking European furniture, and barely decorated walls. The only sound that filled the disturbing silence was her own laboured breathing as she forced herself to sit up and take a look at the constantly ticking clock hanging on the wall opposite from her bed.
However, the second Erina raised her head off the soft pillow, she immediately fell back on top of it, feeling the ache in every part of her body, and the fatigue hitting her all over again. Sweaty fingers reached up to brush some strands of hair out of her face when she sensed the heat overwhelm her, but instead came into contact with something else resting right above her eyebrows, its soaked texture causing a few drops of water to slowly dampen the white cushion underneath.
A hand towel?
"Why?"
"Because you've got a fever, duh."
She turned towards the gentle voice coming from across the room, her eyes struggling to adjust to the darkness as he made his way towards her, carrying a small tray in both hands.
"O-oh… Of course…"
The heiress cut herself off, startled by how hoarse she sounded just now. Her throat felt so unbelievably scratchy that she just ended up coughing over and over again despite her desperate attempts to clear it. It was so humiliating, she just wanted to roll back to the other side and escape Soma's worried gaze as he switched the lamp right above her nightstand back on.
And she almost succeeded too, if it weren't for the firm hand he placed on her shoulder, keeping her in place like he could somehow sense her intentions, before holding a glass of water towards her with a tender expression on his features.
"Here ya go. It's been quite a while since the last time you had something to drink. This should help ya out"
Erina sighed in defeat, tightening her grip around the hand towel as she felt completely abashed over the fact that she had to let him care for her yet again.
But… she wasn't able to change that, and no matter how hard the heiress tried to fight it, the small smile of gratitude forming on her mouth was proof enough that she loved the attention he gave her.
It was nice knowing that he was so concerned about her, even waiting for her to wake up just to make sure she was alright. And now that they were face-to-face, she couldn't afford to lose her momentum like she had the first time she attempted to sit up, her sheer willpower pushing her to raise her upper body and lean against the many cushions lined up on the wall behind her, the wet hand towel now wrapped between her fingers.
"T-thanks…"
A simple nod was the only answer she got before she eagerly took a gulp of the fresh water, feeling her headache intensifying as it went past her dry throat. From the corner of her eye she watched him cross his arms over his chest, amber orbs lowered to the ground as if contemplating whether or not he should bring a certain, sensitive topic up.
She is aware that a lot had to be discussed eventually but she still dreaded the conversation regardless.
Perhaps he was as mad as she expected him to be, or even furious about the fact that she had kept her fever to herself all day long.
Would her silence be the trigger for yet another fight between them?
At that moment, he looked right at her with a somewhat pained glint in those golden depths, more sadness than anger shining through as she came to realize… there was no talking her way out of this one. He would want an earnest reply, and she had to deliver, whether she wanted to or not.
"You know you really freaked me out back there, right? I had no idea it was this bad… Why didn't you tell me, Erina?"
His voice was filled with disappointment, a silent ache throbbing in his chest that the heiress could relate to all too well.
She knew he had all right to be disheartened, since she should have considered him as well when she decided to keep her fever to herself in the first place. But… she never would have guessed that her actions could affect him that much- that he could feel so strongly about this.
No longer able to even glance at the redhead, she settled on staring intently at the crème colored wall behind him instead, releasing a deep breath as she tightened her grip on the wet hand towel.
"I… I'm truly sorry… I believed that it wasn't all that bad, or rather… I thought I could handle it by myself, but… it seems like I highly misjudged the strength of my own body, huh?"
"You could've said something."
"Yeah… But, if I had, you would have insisted that I stay in bed all day instead of visiting the cemetery, right? I needed to go today, or else I probably wouldn't have dared to set foot inside of there again another time. A-and then there was… the Shokugeki I had promised you earlier as well, which reminds me… w-we can still do it now, if you like. I owe you this much at least."
Before she could add anything else in to explain herself, the blonde felt a warm hand on her cheek slowly turning her face back towards him, his thumb brushing her lower lip ever so gently in order to silence her as he leaned in.
"Hey… you owe me nothing, you hear? These reasons don't really make up for the heart attack you nearly gave me, but… at least now I know. You're right, I would have made you go back to bed if you had told me, honestly, who wouldn't have? You can't expect me to sit still and let you run around with a high fever, that's not how it works. We can always have a Shokugeki after you get better, and I bet you could still pay your respects on another day, if you put your mind to it. This… this wasn't worth it, Erina."
"I… I'm sorry."
At that, the young chef shook his head repeatedly, eyes drifting from her to the ceiling above before he closed them shut for a few seconds, pure exhaustion written in his every move.
"…Nah… don't worry about it. I'd say it's my fault for not realizing sooner that you were sick. It's… seeing you lose consciousness like that was… shocking, that's all. Just… the next time something happens, you have to speak up, alright? Remember that, when it comes down to it, you have to lean on me too… I wanna help, but I can't if you won't let me."
"I know… But, I'm fine now, so there's no need to worry."
Instantly, a wave of guilt cursed through her as she watched him exhale a long breath, head shaking from left to right yet again as if having expected to hear this kind of response.
But what else could she have said anyway? The heiress wasn't 'fine', of course she wasn't. But she would rather go outside barefoot than admit that to him, no matter what he said. He knew her well enough to accept a shortcoming like that, right?
She hoped he did.
"Well, never mind then… The fact that you collapsed already tells me there's something bad going on here. So I won't take anything you tell me literally anymore. Guess I just have to start reading your words the opposite way to understand what you really mean, huh. That might help me out a little, at least. Like… for example you claim that ya don't talk in your sleep, but in reality it actually implies that you do, right?"
"E-excuse me? I'm not talking in my sleep, thank you very much!"
Crossing her arms over her chest, she raised her chin up in the air, not wanting to see his arched eyebrow and overly smug expression as he retrieved his hand.
Avoiding his cocky smile wasn't all too difficult of a task, granted she could ignore the fatigue threatening to take over, or the spinning of the room they were in the moment she lifted her head.
However, with her arms shivering from the cold while the heat in her face just kept making her sweat bullets didn't allow the heiress to look as intimidating as she had wanted, leaving her defenseless when he began to chuckle to himself.
"See what I mean? It's just like when you said you don't drool on your pillows either. I'm getting the hang of it!"
"Oh for the love of- would you stop making fun of me already? That might have happened one time, but I assure I usually don't drool on anything! It's disgraceful!"
Her request was accompanied by another coughing fit, tears forming in the corners of her eyes when it started hurting her throat even more. Completely drained of energy, she eventually slid back down onto the mattress, rapid breathing returning as soon as her head rested on the soft cushion again.
"That doesn't look like you're fine to me. Are you okay?"
"Of course… I can manage. You know… it's actually been quite a long time since I last had a cold. Back then, I believe it was Hisako who took care of me, since Grandfather would always be busy all day. But now that I'm back in that state… I don't really remember what she did exactly to help me recover… it's weird."
"Seriously? How old were you anyway?"
"Huh… six, or seven?"
"You can't remember?"
"No… Can you blame me? It's been over nine years."
"Wow, ya must have had one hell of a good diet if it managed to keep your immune system going for so long. Damn… now I just hope Arato won't be breathing down my neck if she hears you got sick with me here."
"Well, I agree that she's too extreme when it comes to someone's health. There is no escaping her wrath once you catch a cold, I remember that much."
"Are you kidding me? She's only like that with you!"
A small giggle escaped her lips when Soma's expression suddenly shifted from concern to a more timid one, a nervous twitch of his eye showing her how tense his muscles had gotten at the prospect of receiving an earful from her pink-haired friend.
What exactly did Hisako do to him that made him so anxious? She couldn't remember a time when she got genuinely mad at him, at least not in the blonde's presence anyway.
"Maybe so. You'd have to get used to it, I'm afraid."
"Yeah… Guess it's not that bad, huh."
The smile that had found its way back onto her heated face now faded away when the redhead took a seat on the edge of her bed, still chuckling gleefully as he rested his forehead against her own with one hand above her crown and the other gently sliding down her arm to hold her hand.
"H-hey, you shouldn't be so close to someone who has a cold! Y-you could get sick too!"
"Relax. I have a pretty solid immune system myself, ya know. I'll be alright. Dad's nasty dishes helped a lot in that regard."
"B-but still… infections can spread fast, y-you really could get-"
"It's fine, don't worry so much. Though if it helps… I suppose I could stop kissing ya for a little while, is that okay with ya? Even if I'm literally dying to do it right now, trust me."
"H-huh? No, t-that's not what I meant…"
His mischievous smile stretched from ear to ear as he bumped his nose against hers playfully.
"So you want me to?"
More than she'd care to admit actually, but there was no way she would risk him catching a cold as well on top of what he had to go through because of her. She had to restrain herself and wait patiently until she was healthy enough to kiss the air out of his lungs.
"D-don't be ridiculous, as if I would! You're not allowed to do anything until I'm fully recovered, understand?"
"So… you're saying there's something beyond a smooch waiting for me once you're better then?"
"W-what? G-get your mind out of the gutter! I meant no such thing!"
She closed her eyes in sheer embarrassment, trying to prevent her increased heartrate from bursting inside her ribcage as the sensation of his warm breath continued to tickle her cheek with every in-and exhale he took.
"Whatever you say… Man, you're still burning up… That's definitely not a good sign."
She didn't respond, instead silently enjoying how his smooth voice vibrated against her lips, his hand rubbed her head back and forth, and the way those slim fingers cherished hers under the sheets. It was just the perfect combination of gentleness and passion that would have easily lulled her back into a long slumber if it weren't for the nervous twisting of her stomach that prevented her from relaxing when his face hovered over hers the way it did.
"Hey, don't fall asleep on me now, princess. We need to get that fever down asap, and I think you should change your clothes too or the sweat will make you freeze even more."
"Calm yourself… I'm wide-awake. What time is it anyway?"
"Oh, eh… two a.m. or so. I didn't really look when I came up here. To be honest, I was kinda hoping you'd wake up around now, it gave me the perfect opportunity to finish up this bad boy over here."
Drawing his face back, the boy enthusiastically pointed his thumb behind him as a crooked smirk adored his features. Her curious eyes followed his hand instantly, only to narrow with suspicion at the sight of a small pot resting on the tray above her nightstand.
"What did you do now, Soma?"
"Oh, not much. If ya wanna find out, I guess you're gonna have to eat it, huh. I guarantee this'll help ya get better in no time at all."
The skeptical glint in her amethysts remained as she now peeked back at him, arms crossing over her chest despite the cold shiver running down her spine.
The lid was still on the ceramic pot, keeping the warmth secured inside, and the pleasant smell to a minimum. At this point, the heiress just hoped he wouldn't ask her of its contents, because from the first moment he placed the tray on her nightstand, her senses had failed to recognize any ingredient by smell alone. She wasn't Hayama after all. But admitting to having no idea on what he had prepared for her would hurt her pride just as much as it would the white-haired chef's, she was relatively sure of that.
"Hold on… it has gotten this late already, and you're still up cooking? What were you thinking? You should be resting yourself!"
"Yeah… no. Can't see that happening, really."
"What? Why not?"
His hand squeezed hers a little tighter while the other rubbed the back of his head repeatedly, a sheepish smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"You… I mean I couldn't sleep all that well anyway, so I thought I might as well do something about your fever, ya know? It's no big deal, really. I'm not tired."
"B-but you…"
"Anyway, since I didn't find any recipes for a chicken broth lying around, I just used one of my own. So get ready for another culinary masterpiece! I swear, it's gonna blow your mind."
Her eyes widened at hearing those words, the guilt from earlier tugging at her heartstrings the longer she regarded the sweat-covered cloth he now tied around his arm again like it had cost him no effort at all to prepare this dish.
"Besides, you didn't get to eat yet, so…"
"Let me guess; you didn't eat too then, did you? Honestly, standing down there all night long without preparing anything for yourself… you really are a lousy chef just like I thought you were, I hope you're aware of that."
"Hey now, what're ya talking about? I'm not lousy!"
As soon as his white cloth was secured, the redhead leaned down towards her again, smirking in mischief as he swiftly put a small thermometer in her mouth. Where he had pulled it out from, she didn't even want to know, too surprised at the sudden action to say anything for a couple of seconds.
The only thing ghosting around the heiress's thoughts was whether or not a procedure like that was actually necessary, seeing as he just used a different method to take her temperature.
After all, she wasn't a child anymore!
"It just takes a lot of time to merge all the flavors together, and as you might know, when it comes to pleasing your palate, every half-hearted attempt would end in failure. So I had to concentrate and couldn't grab a bite, got it? Now shut up and lemme get this done."
"H-how rude! You better watch your tongue when addressing me, or I bite it off, you hear?"
"Uh-huh, I'd like to see ya try. No kissing until you're better, remember?"
Pulling back, he ignored her deadly glare as his eyes glanced down at the thermometer in his hand, amusement now completely faded away when he sighed to himself in exasperation.
"Not looking too good… 40.1 degrees is way too high."
His voice…
Without another word, the heiress placed her hand gently on his left cheek, cherishing the soft skin underneath her palm in hopes of it being enough to dispel any form of sadness that was hidden within those squinted orbs. And not even half a second later, his warm fingers curled around her own when he leaned back in, resting his forehead against hers once again.
There was a silent suspicion screaming in the back of her mind that there was some other reason behind his excessive concern, something far deeper than just a simple wish to see her recover as soon as humanly possible, which instantly brought her thoughts back to their conversation about his mother dying from a terrible disease- leukemia, as he had told her.
Erina's heart still ached at the image of his broken expression back then, a frightening sight that, unfortunately, she was able to recognize on him now as well.
And in spite of everything she said, the heiress had seen how uneasy he was when checking her temperature, how his hands were shaking ever so slightly as if not completely over the shock of her sudden collapse. Although she didn't show it, she wasn't ignorant to the fascinating display of his eyes lighting up with relief when he finally saw her lying awake in bed, or the way he kept glancing down at her sweat covered face, probably pondering about what else he could do help. Even now, as they were so close to one another, she could see clear all too well that he still did.
"…Guess we should start this off with some soup then, what d'ya say? That fever has to go down eventually."
"Hey, i-is everything alright?"
"Sure. Why wouldn't it be?"
"It's just… No, never mind. I suppose you caring for me isn't the worst thing that could happen right now, so I will accept whatever treatment you see fit."
"Well, the faster you get better the less I have to wait to touch you, so…"
She glared up at him the same time all those butterflies in her stomach performed a victory dance at the wide grin that was now back on his face, an expression she treasured more than he would ever know.
"Wha… S-shut up, d-don't make it sound like that! Jeez, I'm already starting to regret my words! You truly are unbelievable, Yukihira Soma, did I tell you that…?"
"Yeah, yeah, you did. C'mon, get up before you doze off again. I can see how much you're struggling to stay awake."
A snarl escaped her throat as she turned to her side and forcefully sat back up, ignoring the thick drops of sweat rolling down her neck.
"I'm not tired…, you hear? A-and just so we're clear, I am not going to judge your… questionable experiment over there."
"Damn it, I thought I had you with that one. Fine, whatever. Something else you wanna add?"
"Y-yes, actually… I won't eat it unless you take a bite too. You spent so much time making it… t-the least you can do is try your creation out yourself."
"Deal!"
He held a bowl with the delicious looking soup out to her as he beamed from ear to ear, seemingly happy about her request.
She watched him rise to his feet, gesturing with one hand that he would be right back before he ran off to get himself another bowl.
It was adorable to see him so energetic when not even five minutes earlier, he had appeared to be more than worried despite playing it cool and hiding it with a bright smile.
She knew she had scared him by passing out in the middle of their conversation, knew he was hurt that she had failed to open up to him yet again. And now that she held this warm meal in her hands, thinking about the amount of effort he must have invested in this dish… the heiress realized she couldn't sweep his considerate gesture under the table like she had done with all the others before. It wouldn't do him justice, and she wanted to show him how much this meant to her- wanted him to understand that, had their roles been reversed, she would do the same for him without blinking an eye.
Leaning her head against the back of the bed, she exhaled a shaky breath as the fatigue threatened to take control of her body, her clothes sticking to her skin uncomfortably when she tried her best not to glide down a second time, especially now that she was able to hear Soma's quick footsteps getting closer towards her.
If only she could lift her head before he entered the room…
"Hey, Erina? I know you said you didn't wanna judge the soup and all, but I was wondering if you-"
Unable to hear him, the blonde shook her head from left to right in an attempt to remain conscious, eyes squeezing shut and opening again as her hold on the bowl tightened vigorously.
"Whoa, hey! I told ya, don't fall asleep yet!"
"No… I'm awake, so pipe down, please…"
In spite of her monotone voice, the blonde still maintained the small smile that had formed on her lips a while ago, her amethysts opening once more to regard his sheepish state as he made his way back to the bed.
"Now, what were you saying?"
"Huh? Oh… just wondering if, you know, you could, eh… Okay look, the thing is, this recipe isn't exactly something I came up with right on the spot. My mom used to make that soup whenever Dad or I got sick, and this is actually the first time I tried to replicate it. I wanna see if my version would have the same effect on you as it had on me back when she made it, so I thought maybe you can tell me if it works?"
"Oh… I understand. Very well, I will do you this favor. After all the trouble you went through, I suppose… this would only be fair."
"Wha… You okay?"
"I'm alright… I think…"
With her vision blurring and throat itching, the young heiress chose to stay silent as she placed a spoonful of broth in her mouth, wanting to devote her full attention towards the taste in order to give him an earnest answer.
She didn't have any expectations when small, tender pieces of chicken fell apart the instant they made contact with her tongue, didn't anticipate that the thick stock would go past her hurting gullet so easily despite her lack of appetite. But once she was hit with the full extent of all the spices, her mind completely shut down, leaving her no room for further texture analyses.
She should have known better when it comes to something this boy put together, for he was probably the only chef out there who could make a vegetarian enjoy his richest meat dishes, a trait that ended up earning him Erina's respect in the first place. And as soon as this conclusion was reached, it was practically unavoidable that a certain scenario began to play inside her mind, simple yet effective nonetheless.
All she could feel were warm arms- an embrace that reminded her of the many ones she had received at the cemetery a little while ago. 'Motherly love' would most likely be the most suited phrase to describe this pleasant warmth spreading inside her.
Eyes closed in content, lips parting ever so slightly as if wanting to say exactly how she felt, and a single tear already descending down her face, she now envisioned herself being pressed tightly against a soft chest as gentle words of encouragement were whispered into her ear over and over again. It was her second time feeling so overwhelmingly comforted, and she was truly grateful that Soma had granted her the honor of experiencing this sensation once more with his mother's special get-well-dish, even though he must have suffered quite a bit himself while preparing it for her.
He shouldn't have put himself through this much trouble, she'd like it no matter how much time he spent on it.
Just as she was about to open her eyes and tell him that, the heiress felt his palm cherish her unnaturally heated cheek just like he had before, thumb gently wiping the tear away the moment it reached the corner of her upper lip.
"Guess this means the soup worked after all?"
"It did…"
"Well, it wasn't much."
A small smile formed on her mouth as she nuzzled into his touch.
"I take it you were the one coming up with the grand idea to put a quarter teaspoon of cinnamon in there?"
"Eh, that's… alright, I give. Nothing gets past you, does it? To be honest, I thought this would give the broth a richer flavor, so I tried it out. Did you like it?"
"I… I told you already… I won't judge your dish."
"Fine, have it your way. Once you're better, I can make ya taste test a bunch of different dishes I came up with over the past year anyway, and there's no avoiding the question then."
"Oh, can you now? That's funny… I seem to recall you saying you weren't able to cook anything other than egg based meals lately."
He sighed, retrieving his hand in order to take another spoonful of broth as he gazed towards the ceiling, lost in thought for a brief moment.
"Yeah… I wasn't, actually."
"What did you mean by that anyway?"
"Well… it's just what it sounds like. I'd say it's been more than four weeks straight since the last time I made a dish that didn't involve an egg in one way or another. I'm still not sure how it all started or why I haven't been able to grow out of that phase yet, I mean, for what it's worth, this soup even has egg yolks in it. However, I have the feeling that this has something to do with you."
"Me? How so?"
Their eyes met, and the sheer intensity in his golden ones caused Erina to shudder in excitement, why, she couldn't quite place though. All she knew was that he had this intoxicating charm surrounding him, and not for the first time tonight, she wished she could meld their lips together and engage in the taste that was uniquely his.
"Yeah. It felt like everything I made needed an ingredient that would remind me of ya, every single time. At first, I admit I was pretty pissed, but… I think now I understand what my brain wanted to tell me back when it started. I bet I can use that knowledge somehow to get even better now, don't cha think? In the end, I just gotta cook every dish like I was making it for you, and I'm sure to move up."
"Huh… maybe. But don't go using my palate to enhance your own skills like you did in our match against Central's main force, got it? Don't forget, I'm still above you, no matter what you do."
"We'll see about that soon enough."
She smiled, genuinely content with their healthy rivalry. One year past, and before they knew it, they had gotten used to this back and forth, even if it was just for fun now.
With that in mind, she finished the rest of her soup in comfortable silence, more than ready to doze off again as she leaned her head back the second her bowl was empty, trying not to glance at the grinning chef who didn't seem like he would let her out of his sight anytime soon.
"What now?"
"You know, you should really change your clothes before you get some shuteye, or your fever might go up. In the meantime, I'll get fresh water for your head, alright?"
"S-stop treating me like a child, you imbecile. I am not going to fall asleep."
A wholehearted laugh was the only response she received as the previously added weight on the mattress disappeared and the young chef's footsteps echoed in the otherwise empty room, leaving a strange sense of restlessness inside her stomach. And Erina knew it wouldn't leave her alone until she told him the other thing that had been on her mind, no matter how embarrassing it might be in the end.
So, she placed her bowl back on the nightstand, right next to his, and slowly rose to her feet, body trembling uncontrollably when she made small steps towards the door. Not wanting to wait for him to come back up in fear of losing her courage as quickly as it had appeared, the heiress tried to descent the wide stairs as gracefully as possible, damp towel in one hand while the other held on to the banisters for support.
However, once her vision blurred and the world around her started spinning, she realized that neither grace nor force would help her get to him faster, her resolve faltering already when she was just halfway down. And it was only until after she found herself staring at the very person she had wanted to go to in the first place that her bravery disappeared completely, feeling his amber orbs drifting up to her in surprise when he came to a halt right in front of the staircase.
This was certainly not how she had imagined it to turn out when she left her room, and no matter from what angle she looked at it, her reasoning for coming seemed more than ridiculous now. Most likely, he would end up laughing once she told him she had merely wanted to thank him for the meal, but was too impatient to wait for him back in her room. Who wouldn't crack up at this point?
"Hey, are you alright? You shouldn't be up walking around, you know?"
Her trembling fingers clutched the hand cloth tighter before another idea struck her that led her to hold the soft fabric in her hand out for him to see in utter desperation.
"I-I, ehm… wanted to… bring this to you, but I see you already have found a new one, s-so… I guess I can head back now…"
"Sure you're not just-"
"No, no, it's fine. I'm leaving."
Now more than embarrassed, she swiftly turned on her heels, trying to ignore the wave of fatigue as best she could when taking her first step up.
'Don't pass out again! Not here, not now! Get a hold of yourself, at least until you made it back to your bed. Come on, please!'
She squinted her eyes in concentration, head raised towards the ceiling as she cautiously headed up the staircase. But once again, her body didn't want to hear any of her pleas, the darkness she was all too familiar with by now surrounding her in a matter of seconds, taking the energy out of her system, and leaving her no safe spot to hold on to as the heiress suddenly stumbled backwards in sheer horror.
'No… not now!'
And with that one last prayer, she felt herself falling, unhindered, mercilessly, apace… deeper and deeper, up to the point where there was no sensation left inside her body, no thoughts regarding her predicament or her demise.
Then suddenly, two strong arms were wrapped around her trembling frame, caught her with the agility she came to appreciate to a great extent over the past year. He helped her stand on her feet just like he always did, and Erina couldn't help but open her eyes as they came to a stop on the very last step and leaned against the wall right next to it with her back safely pressed against his firm chest.
She could feel his rapid heartbeat, sense the shaking of his body when he buried his face in the crook of her neck, not the least bit concerned about sweat-covered skin or damp cloths whatsoever. And even though both their breaths were shallow, she was still able to tell the long sigh escaping the young chef's lips apart from the deep inhales he took as he held her even closer, like he was actually afraid she would fade away if he let go.
"Soma? A-are you al-"
"I should be the one asking you that don't cha think? Are you okay? Why did ya wanna come down here?"
"I… there was something I haven't said to you yet…"
"Seriously? I was about to come back, couldn't ya have waited 'til then? What would've happened if I hadn't been here? You're way too reckless."
Resting the back of her head on his shoulder, the heiress made sure he felt her skull slowly moving from left to right, her voice not nearly as solid as she would have liked it to be to continue answering his questions word for word.
"Fine, what was it you forgot to tell me?"
"…Thank you for… for all the effort you put into this dish. You should know that… even if I don't say it… I appreciate the kind gesture a lot…"
"Don't be so stupid, you don't need to thank me for something like that."
"No, I have to. You did so much for me, at least let me thank you for it properly."
"Okay, I see the fever is getting to ya now."
"Honestly, that's what I think too…"
His small chuckle fanned over her sensitive flesh, vibrating through her entire body, and left a pleasant tingle in the pits of her stomach.
She just loved the sound of his laugh, as strange as it seemed, it calmed her down more than he would ever know. And once he pressed his soft lips against her skin, starting on a particularly responsive spot on her neck, then moving over to her partly covered shoulder, she realized the damage he had caused her was too severe to be repaired. She had lost herself within him, whether now or a long time ago didn't matter anymore as her head tilted to the side unconsciously, leaving him more space to work with.
"I-I already told you, you… catch a cold as well if… you continue…"
"And like I already told ya before; I've got a pretty impressive immune system myself, right? I won't get sick. And the rule says nothing about this spot right here-"
A light suck behind her ear made her shudder in absolute pleasure as her head fell back against him again.
"-Or this one over here-"
And another one on her jawline that forced her to hold back a hiss, the burning sensation in her stomach increasing with every touch of his lips against her skin.
She couldn't believe he was capable of driving her crazy even in this weakened state.
"Right? I'm allowed to do whatever I want there. Plus, this is the second time you nearly gave me a heart attack now, meaning I need pay back in one way or another, right?"
"B-but… I'm too sweaty… i-isn't that the least bit repulsive to you?"
"Fat chance, princess. However, you definitely need some more rest first, so… I guess I should move after all, huh."
In spite of his words, he didn't release her, kissing her collarbone one last time before lifting her into his arms and carrying her up the wide staircase and back to her bedroom, a gentle smile playing around his mouth as he did so.
And while completely lost in his own thoughts, he didn't seem to have noticed that the blonde girl in his hold had long since given in to her fatigue again, forehead gliding down his shoulder, and one arm hanging limp on her side as if she had never been awake in the first place.
…
'Maybe we should stop for today, darling? She's been differentiating the quality of those salads for almost five hours now without any breaks.'
'One last item and then we call it a day, alright? I want to see if she really understood what we tried to teach her over the past week.'
'I don't know… We shouldn't push her too hard; she's just a child. Come on, let's just continue with her training tomorrow, okay? Our little girl needs to be ready for all the taste testing those chefs would most likely want to subject her to, after all.'
'Fine, you have a point. What Erina accomplished today was no small feat, so I suppose we can finish the lesson earlier today.'
A genuine smile was shared between the young couple before Nakiri Amelia walked over to the small frame of a child, not older than two years, and kneeled next to her on the floor, warm fingers stroking her honey blond hair repeatedly to get her attention.
'Hey sweetie, what do you say the two of us send Daddy straight to bed and read a few fairy tales in your room afterwards? Would you like that?'
Erina's eyes lit up instantly at the mention of her favorite activity, wrapping her small arms around her mother's neck who, still crouching right beside her, began to giggle wholeheartedly as she picked the little girl up.
'You were amazing today, sweetie, just like I had expected. I'm so proud of you.'
'Mommy… my tummy hurts.'
'It'll fade once you get some sleep, dear, don't worry about it. Now, listen very carefully, Erina; tomorrow we'll visit a special place where many famous chefs will let you try their most delicious menu items again to see your gift with their own eyes. This is very important for your daddy and me, so I need you to be on your best behavior, alright? No crying just because you're bored.'
'Okay.'
'Good girl. You will be so successful one day, sweetheart, just watch.'
She smiled down at her already sleeping daughter, eyes squinted in affection as she pressed her tighter against her chest before leaving the empty kitchen. They would be back here soon enough anyway.
…
'Mommy, my tummy hurts! Please make it stop!'
'It's only one more appointment, dear. You can hold yourself together until then. After it's over, I promise you don't have to sit here for the rest of the evening, alright?'
'No, it hurts!'
'Please, sweetie, do it for me…'
'It hurts!'
'Erina…'
The warning tone in her father's voice made the little girl tremble in fear for a moment, the tears streaming down her face increasing with each new dish that was placed before her.
'I don't want to eat that, it makes my tummy hurt!'
'Maybe we should end the session for today, love? We'll put her to bed and I go call our doctor, so he can check up on her.'
'Again? Didn't this sort of thing happen three days ago as well?'
'It did…'
A sigh escaped her lips as she laid the spoon back down, head tilting towards her frowning husband desperately.
'I don't know, perhaps we're rushing her too much or something. Testing the limit of her abilities on a daily basis, making her taste plate after plate just to see if she can guess all the ingredients we use… I'm starting to think that we might have gotten a little too carried away with all this, don't you?'
'I… you may be right, but isn't it worth the risk? To see our daughter at the summit of the culinary world, didn't you want that all along? We're close, Amelia. Don't lose sight of what's important now, I'm begging you.'
Giving him one last look, she turned back to the crying child in front of her in utter disappointment, both hands raised to pull her into a tight embrace.
'Let's go take care of that tummy ache, okay sweetheart? You'll be better in no time, I promise.'
With that, she quickly excited the restaurant's main kitchen, leaving Nakiri Azami to deal with all those confused looking chefs who had already prepared more dishes for the young heiress to try.
She couldn't stand to see her daughter cry out in pain, nor would she ever allow her to be used as a tool like that, by anyone.
'Mommy will make you the most influential woman in the food industry, Erina, don't you worry. Those chefs were incapable anyway.'
…
'Alright, Erina, repeat after me; we never waste one ounce of food, ever. Just because you don't like something doesn't mean you can claim it's bad and throw it away so thoughtlessly, understand? No matter what happens, you have to stay composed, just like a professional. That's the only way you gain a memorable reputation around here.'
'I-I'm sorry Mommy, I-I won't do it again.'
'Good. Now, we will make that exact same dish together, and this time, you will taste test it without spitting it all out, okay?'
'No, I don't want to. It's not tasty.'
'Sweetie… I know this is not ideal, but you still need to learn how to validate every single dish in front of you. I value that lesson, and so should you.'
'But I-'
'Fine, if you complete the task without any further complaints I will read from your most favorite book tonight, does that sound more appealing to you?'
An excited squeal echoed in the woman's ears as her daughter jumped up and down where she stood, hands clapping together repeatedly. She couldn't help but laugh as well when her eyes landed on the little girl running straight towards her with her chopsticks in hand, a familiar warmth filling her heart at the adorable sight.
They kept laughing together, smudging each other's faces and clothes with tomato sauce in a silly way until they heard the sound of someone's footsteps steadily approaching them. And even though she already knew who it was, Amelia still felt like she was caught doing something forbidden, something that would lead to yet another fight between husband and wife.
Eyes wide, mouth slightly agape, the young mother turned around to see Azami staring at her with a disapproving look in his eyes, arms crossed over his chest, and one eyebrow raised as if asking what exactly she thought she was doing there.
'I'm going to have to borrow our daughter for a while if you don't mind.'
'Sorry, but we're occupied right now. Surely, your business with her can wait until tomorrow, can it not?'
He sighed, a tired drag following his every step as he reached the duo in a steady pace. She noticed the sadness in his eyes, those dark circles right underneath them, and the slight messiness of his usually combed hair, signaling that he was more than worn out by all the work they were putting into their child's future.
And it was all because she had wanted it to be that way…
'I'm sorry, Amelia… I never intended to be this cold to you. You know I love you more than everything, right?'
'R-right…'
'Please forgive me. I honestly don't want to argue anymore.'
'Yeah… me too. I'm sorry if I have put too much pressure upon you, I really am. It's just… she deserves nothing but the best in life, and I want to make sure she always gets what she desires. Let's just stop fighting and share the burden we committed ourselves to, alright? For her sake.'
'I promise we will…'
…
'I wish you were never born. It's your fault we fell apart like that. I never should have bothered training that cursed tongue of yours, honestly, what was I thinking? Now stop crying already, I'm sick of your annoying tummy aches. We will go inside there, and you will do this taste testing, you understand? Don't embarrass us in front of all those reporters, Erina; we worked too hard to get here. I'll call a doctor once we're done, so just endure it until then.'
She was angry, exhausted, drained of all the energy she would have needed to get through this taste testing appointment, their fourteenth one this week. If she heard one more complaint from the crying child in her arms, she was certain she would burst right then and there.
Unfortunately, her words did nothing to appease the little girl, instead making her shed even more tears as she struggled against her mother's hold, trying desperately to get away.
When she finally did, it felt like the woman was stabbed in the heart with a sharp dagger, leaving numerous shivers to run down her spine at the sudden action. Her eyes widened when she saw Erina racing blindly towards the busy street, noted how her tiny legs carried her much faster than they should be, and snapped out of her daze as soon as her ears picked up on the sound of multiple cars trying to come to a stop the moment her daughter set foot on the road in front of her.
With a rush of pure anxiety flowing through her body, Amelia sprinted after her, not the least bit concerned about her stilettos cracking every time they touched the ground, or the desperate screams from the people gathered behind her, her driver being the loudest out of all of them. The only thing she could see was her two-year-old daughter in danger, and the sudden guilt that made her run even faster towards the child crying in the distance.
'Erina! Stop!'
She didn't hear it, of course she wouldn't with all that noise surrounding them.
It was a nightmare, hell itself even. All she prayed for right now was getting her daughter out of the way before any of those vehicles could harm her. And for a second, it seemed her wish was granted when she finally reached the little girl and pulled her into a tight embrace in the middle of the street. She made sure to keep her safely wrapped in her arms, thanking god for allowing her this little moment of relief before her own tears started to glide down her cheeks.
'I'm so sorry, Erina. I didn't mean it, please forgive me.'
She couldn't hear what her daughter said, couldn't feel anything as a sudden pain cursed through her back, and spread inside her whole body. Her mind went completely blank at the instant loss of warmth against her chest, not realizing that her child was ripped out of her hold due to the impact, or that the blonde woman herself was now buried underneath a massive truck, unable to breathe and covered in her own blood.
The last thing her tear-stained eyes spotted was a shouting Joichiro heading straight for them, many others following right behind him before she allowed the darkness to completely consume her.
'I'm… so sorry…'
…
A sharp inhale echoed throughout the room, cold air being sucked through gritted teeth as the heiress opened her eyes with a jolt, making her sit up instantly despite the aches in her body. Her gaze drifted from left to right in a state of utter panic, trying to take in as much of her surroundings as possible but eventually pausing when she realized her pupils wouldn't focus on anything that was lying around.
With shaky fingers, she raised one hand to her cheek in order to check her temperature while, at the same time, attempting to calm her ragged breathing by firmly pressing the other against her chest.
She was startled, or rather; the blonde was shocked to the core as bits and pieces of that dreaded dream started replaying inside her mind, leaving her breathless all over again.
Was this a memory or a nightmare, she couldn't tell.
Whatever it was, the mixture of tears and cold sweat streaming down her face showed her that she couldn't just look past this particular dream like she had for the previous one, the pain in her heart forbidding her to just ignore it like it had never happened. Every train of thought faded away, her stomach clenched uncomfortably, and suddenly Erina began to feel claustrophobic in spite of the large space around her.
She needed to go to her, now.
It didn't matter if it was the middle of the night, it didn't even matter that she could hear drops of rain battering against her window, something she hadn't picked up on before. All she wanted was to go see her mother, maybe settle the panic inside her a little while she thought about what she just saw, seeing as this had been the first time in her life that her mother manifested in a dream like that. It scared her.
And so, without even realizing that the spot right beside her was empty, the heiress rose to her feet, swaying back and forth for a few seconds before regaining her balance and making her way to the door, reddened eyes filled with what seemed like an endless amount of tears.
She knew she didn't have a clear mind when she put her shoes on and excited the house, knew that it wouldn't help her cold whatsoever to run around in the rain so late at night. However, she was neither interested in any of those details, nor did she spare a moment to wonder whether or not Soma would be the least bit worried once he found out she left.
Right now, as she dragged herself towards the nearest bus stop, blonde tresses and thin layers of clothing instantly soaked with rainwater, the only thing Erina was concerned about was getting back to the cemetery as fast as possible without breaking down right here and now.
Her mother had appeared in her dream so vividly, and it devastated her to no end to see all those images now fading into nothingness as if they had never been there. She hated it, she didn't want to forget again, she couldn't handle more flashbacks passing her by while she just stood still, unable to grasp even one of them.
Why did this have to happen now?
What purpose was there to torture her more than she already had to endure?
Cough after cough accompanied her every step, reverberating within her as she finally reached the empty bus stop. Eventually, with the sound being carried away by the cool breeze, the desired vehicle arrived right before her eyes as if refusing to give her the option to turn back and go home.
She didn't bother wipe the tears off her face when she took a seat close to the back doors, knowing that it could easily be mistaken for raindrops if one were to ignore the tremble in her shoulders. And what person in their right mind would want to approach a coughing student who's not only drenched in their own sweat but also in rainwater in the middle of the night anyway?
In terms of outer appearance, this was truly the worst state she had ever found herself in, a wave of resentment washing over her when she was met with her pitiful reflection in the window right next to the doors.
What would Soma say if he saw her like this?
Would he be upset? Disappointed?
Yes, probably so… But what other option did she have when her mind was all fuzzy and eyes blank of any emotion, hollow just like those images she had seen not even half an hour ago.
How long would he put up with her stubborn silence?
She guessed that it wasn't going to take that much time until he gave up and returned to Totsuki on his own- she wouldn't blame him if he did, seeing as she barely told him anything in the short amount of time he was here.
Would it actually make things easier if he left without her?
No, most definitely not. Nevertheless, she felt like it could end up being the right choice after all, since she wasn't planning on going back anyway, and letting him suffer for the rest of summer break was downright cruel.
When would this stop? She didn't want to think anymore, didn't want to break his heart a second time with her cold actions, but… everything had changed now. It wouldn't go back to normal no matter how hard she tried to act like her usual self. All she wanted was to be forgiven, to be freed from this crushing guilt inside her chest. Before that… there was nothing she could do to ease the pain that was weighing her down, and she had a suspicion the red-headed chef was aware of that as well.
However, knowing something and tolerating it were two completely different things, making her wonder on which side he had chosen to take a stand, and if it was enough to maintain the closeness they shared.
Taking in her current surroundings as an attempt to get rid of these thoughts, she was quite surprised when the large gate suddenly appeared right in front of her blurry vision, trying to recollect at what point she had gotten off the bus and when she had walked over here without feeling the pressure of those heavy raindrops pattering on her heated skin.
One step, two steps, three, and before she knew it, she was already storming inside, passing many tombstones on her way to the one furthest from the main area of the small graveyard. And once there, the heiress dropped to her knees in front of the still beautifully decorated grave, her coughs turning to hiccups as she sobbed louder than she had the first time she came.
"I'm sorry, Mother, forgive me! Please come back to me, I'm begging you, please! I need you! I want to meet you again! I'm sick of feeling nothing whenever someone's mother is mentioned next to me, I want to empathize with people who go home early just to take care of their sick parents instead of shrugging like I didn't care! Please tell me you forgive me, Mom, I can't do this anymore! I can't…"
She buried her heated face in both hands, feeling like she was driven insane by all this empty pressure building up inside her.
One sign of forgiveness- that's everything the young student is asking for. Just one simple message would be enough to calm the storm wreaking havoc in her heart.
"Please…"
"Oh my… what's the matter, child? Who made you cry this time? You're finally where you wanted to be for the past two weeks, you should feel accomplishment for that, not sadness."
Startled by the unexpected voice, Erina turned around as fast as she could, her sobs ceasing instantly when she saw the old lady standing right behind her, a gentle smile on her face.
"Y-you… W-what are you doing here?"
"I couldn't bear to see you like this any longer, dear… I had to come."
"W-what…?"
"I'm so sorry I didn't visit you yesterday, Erina. It just seemed like there was no need for me to be there since you already had someone just as loving by your side."
"I-I don't understand… How do you know about that? Why did you even come here at this hour?"
Instead of an answer, the black-haired woman just kneeled down herself as the rain continued to pour down on them. By now, Erina didn't feel it anymore, her attention lying entirely on her friend's cryptic words and the pleasant warmth that spread throughout her body the moment she was pulled into a tight embrace.
"First tell me, child… what happened to you? Why shedding all those precious tears?"
"I-I… I can't go on like this… I just can't ignore what I did to her, or the fact that I forgot about it like it didn't matter! I thought I could with Soma being here, I really tried, but… it's too hard! And-and that dream- I can't just-!"
She coughed again while her trembling hands gripped the woman's coat, sobs increasing in volume despite the strange sense of ease settling in her stomach.
"Ignoring a tragedy such as this would, without a doubt, make her sacrifice seem less meaningful, I agree. However, ignorance is not the same as acceptance, my dear. Everybody can disregard something for a specific amount of time, though rest assured it will never leave their guilty conscience alone no matter what they do. On the other hand, people who come to terms with their previous actions have a higher chance of enjoying life than those who refuse to take that initiative. Now, don't you think it's time to just 'accept' the past for what it was and move on already? How long do you wish to continue beating yourself up over this matter? See it as another chapter of your life that helped you grow into the strong, talented girl you are today, and let go. You endured this long enough, child, and you shouldn't ruin your future even further than you already have. Stop feeling guilty for something you haven't committed, please."
With her head firmly pressed against the old lady's warm chest, and the gentle strokes over her hair, Erina felt more than comfort rushing through her veins. It was the same sensation she had experienced on her first day here, a familiar softness she could have sworn she had come across once before. And now that there were these images of her previous dream ghosting around in her brain, she knew exactly why she had felt that way in the first place, even though, deep down, she knew there was no way this was real.
For now, she just wanted to embrace this image with all her might, feel just once what she had been forced to forget many years ago.
"M-Mom… Forgive me…"
"There is no reason for that, sweetheart. You did nothing wrong. I was the one who tortured you all the time. Your father and I literally destroyed your childhood with all those lessons, experiments, and the daily taste testing. I should be apologizing to you for all the pain I caused you, even now. I'm so sorry, Erina."
She tightened her grip on the woman's coat, cherishing the illusion that probably wouldn't come back after tonight. And for some reason the sudden realization that this interaction was nothing but a mirage, just like all the others had been, didn't shock her as much as she would have expected either. Instead, it gave her the kind of tranquility she had so desperately longed for since her abrupt departure from Totsuki academy.
Knowing that her mother had always been there to watch over her, or console her when she needed it the most felt just like a massive weight was lifted from her shoulders, the sting in her heart becoming less of a burden with each shallow breath she released.
"Y-you… you never resented me for killing you?"
"You didn't kill me, sweetheart, so please stop making it sound like you're a murderer. If I had the chance to sacrifice myself to save your life, trust me I would do it all over again."
"B-but that concussion-"
"It hurts me that our memories together were ripped from you in such a way, more than you know… But I'm just happy the accident didn't cause any further damage. I'm not mad whatsoever, I just wish… I could have been by your side for at least a little while longer, that is all I regret really."
"I-I'm sorry…"
"Don't be, dear, I will always live on in your heart as long as you want me to. If it's forgiveness you seek in order to leave the past behind… then let me give you my blessing, child, and ask for yours instead. I forgive you…"
Her eyes widened with disbelief, blurry vision focused on the kind woman's sincere smile as she bit her bottom lip to prevent another sob from escaping her dry throat.
She couldn't believe what she was hearing- couldn't understand how a mere illusion would be able to feel this convincing when she hadn't even been able to lay a single hand on Soma's whenever she saw it. Was her fever that high?
Either way, she couldn't deny the huge wave of relief washing over her, making the heiress hug the woman even tighter than she already was.
"I-I… forgive you, Mom…"
"Thank you…"
They stayed like that a little while longer, calmness and security being the only emotions that were left inside her energy-deprived body, something Erina was quite content with for the moment. She truly had missed feeling like this, had missed how peaceful it could be when she wasn't drenched from head to toe in guilt.
How it had disappeared just by hearing those few words was beyond her at this point, mind and soul simply choosing to welcome the sensation of serenity with open arms. There was nothing she wanted more than to remain in her mother's arms, finally fall asleep with the sense of relief she had desired for so long, and let the rain wash away all of her tears in the purest of ways.
"I think you should go back now, sweetie. You're still sick."
"I don't want to…"
A soft giggle that sounded like bells in her ears escaped the woman's mouth as she squeezed her daughter one more time before pulling back slightly to get a better look at her face. And what Erina saw left her with another shock she would never be able to wipe from her memory.
There was no longer an old lady with black hair looking at her, but rather a young, beautiful woman whose amethyst orbs shined brighter than the magnificent crystal itself, honey blonde locks tied up in a ponytail and a soft smile on her features.
How…?
"I know, but you have to go home eventually… You do remember what I told you just now, don't you? Accept what happened and live a happy life again, don't let this weigh you down any longer."
With her eyes still wide open, the heiress stared up at her mother in both confusion and bewilderment.
"W-whi… which home are you referring to exactly?"
At that, she merely smiled mysteriously as she brushed Erina's drenched hair out of her face.
"That is up to you, I suppose. Your grandfather misses you terribly, so are your friends at school. But for right now… why don't you just go over to the young man sitting outside the front gate? I'm sure he's deathly worried about you- no pun intended."
She merely grinned at her daughter's perplexed expression, stroking her hair softly as she did so.
"W-what do you mean? Who would be out there in the middle of the night?"
"Well… you should just go see for yourself, dear. He's been waiting out there for quite some time now."
Almost instantly, she turned her head towards the entrance of the cemetery as if able to see beyond the fence surrounding the entire area. When she realized that it was to no avail, her eyes drifted back to the woman before her, puzzled over the fact that she seemed to know something that wasn't even in her line of sight.
How?!
"Listen, Erina; there might be a lot of things in this world that we don't appreciate enough, and the support of our loved ones is, without a doubt, one of them. However, once you lose what's precious to you, it's all over, and you can't ask for it to come back. He's a good kid, my dear. I can see how much he loves you, how far he would go for you. Don't make him wait any longer, he doesn't deserve to be left alone like that. Go to him, tell him what's on your mind, and I'm positive he won't be mad that you made him worry so much."
For a moment, there was nothing but the sound of raindrops pouring down on the pavement as the young heiress stared at her mother with surprise written all over her heated face, the wound inside her heart closing ever so slowly as she finally realized what it was the woman tried to tell her.
Could it be… was he really here, waiting for her just outside the gate?
She had some trouble believing what she was told, despite the tingling all over her body that showed her excitement and eagerness to see the boy she had treated so poorly with her selfish decisions.
She had completely forgotten about him, but now… she supposed she was ready to let go and face him once again as a stronger person, maybe even as her former self- for that was what he most probably hoped to accomplish with his visit…
"I'm so happy that it is Joichiro's son you chose in the end, sweetheart. I always had high expectations for the two of you, even if it seemed like you hated each other's guts at first. A lot of people might have said this already but… you're just too adorable together. I can't imagine how my grandchildren will look like! Go, sweetie, ask him to take you home and get some rest."
"I-I don't really think we reached that point quite yet. B-besides, he is too invested in other things to even consider m-marrying me, n-not that I would accept of course, I-I mean…"
"Well, you never know, right? I will be watching over you two, and hopefully something emerges soon. I know you're in good hands now, so there is no need for me to worry about you anymore. I love you so much, and I'm incredibly proud of the strong, beautiful lady you have become, sweetheart."
"I… m-me too, Mom… I love you."
With fresh tears streaming down her cheeks, the heiress gave her mother one last smile before she stood up and began walking back to the front gate, her heart light as a feather in spite of the bittersweet feelings that were still lingering inside her stomach.
This goodbye left so many emotions, so many new sensations behind that it was impossible for her to properly follow one train of thought when there were around a dozen more swirling all over the place.
In the end, she listened to the one that told her to turn towards the grave and give her mother one last 'thank you' before leaving this place for good.
But as soon as she did, there was no one there, just like all those times before… A small smile graced Erina's features as she shook her head and made her way back out of the cemetery, coughing desperately in the process.
She could already see the sun rising ever so slightly upon the horizon the moment she reached the large gate, her tired eyes immediately searching for a mop of spiky red hair sitting around in the meadow somewhere. When she didn't find him on the nearby bench, or next to the fence either, her mood dropped a few degrees, heart aching with disappointment.
Was he… already gone?
Raising a hand to her forehead as an attempt to prevent her surroundings from spinning, the heiress tried to focus on the wide tree up ahead, the same one she had imagined Soma leaning against countless of times in order to tease or scold her for not going inside.
Just like he was doing right now, except that his gaze was directed towards the sky instead of her, arms crossed over his chest, water dripping down the white cloth tied around his left arm, and golden orbs concealed by the shadow that his bangs had cast over his face.
'Wait… what?'
She rubbed her eyes repeatedly to make sure she wasn't hallucinating again before looking back at the boy who didn't seem to have noticed her presence as he continued to wait patiently by the tree closest to the main road.
There he was… surprising her once more with his big heart and impulsive actions. The talented chef she refused to make chase after her ever again, the one who had bound her to him ever since the very beginning.
She wouldn't make him wait any longer.
With unsteady but fast steps, she reached his side in a matter of seconds, smiling through her tears when their eyes finally met, his widening at the abrupt sight of her.
She didn't allow him to get a single word out as she bowed her head as deep as possible in an apologetic manner, successfully ignoring the throbbing her fever caused her head for a moment.
"I'm sorry for running off like that, Soma. I never intended to worry you. There was this dream about my mother, our accident…, those times we spend together which drove all rationality out of my mind, and before I knew it, I was already here. I'm truly sorry about this, I really am, believe me. It was all-"
"Whoa, hey, Erina. Slow down would ya? I can barely understand what you're saying!"
Raising her head hesitantly, she stared at him in bewilderment, unsure why he sounded so carefree when it was obvious he felt upset about the whole situation. For a second, she even had been able to see it in his eyes as well before thick strands of hair covered them all over again, leaving her to believe that, perhaps this time, he truly had reached his limit on how much he was willing to tolerate her ignorance; thus the reason he couldn't keep up his cheery façade.
Not that she could blame him.
"Listen… I didn't mean-"
"You really are stupid, you know that? What were you thinking, rushing off without saying a word? Have you ever considered that people could be worried sick about you?"
His eyes pierced through hers now, and it pained her strongly to see all this sorrow, this frustration shining within those beautiful amber depths, her chest clenching at the mere sight of him gritting his teeth in order not to scream at her right here and now.
She truly regretted putting him through so much trouble when all he had cared about was making her feel better and easing her heartache.
And this time, she wouldn't fight back. As much as she hated it, she would keep quiet and endure the scolding just so he could get everything out of his chest. To a certain extent, she would…
"I'm here for you, damn it. If you don't tell me anything, how can I help? I'm not a freaking mind reader!"
"I know that! I would never want you to read my mind to begin with!"
"What? That's beside the point, idiot!"
"Don't call me an idiot when you're the one standing here under a tree for who knows how long without even a jacket on!"
"Oh yeah? I could say the same to you, ya know! Running around at the crack of dawn despite your cold, and with no umbrella to shield you from the rain no less is not much different than what I'm doing!"
"Why you… I can take care of-"
Another coughing fit forced the heiress to cease her excessive shouting as she subconsciously stumbled forward a few feet, feeling the warmth returning to her bones when gentle hands suddenly pulled her towards a firm body- his firm body.
"You're so stupid…"
With his face buried deep in the crook of her neck, he held her as tightly as he could, both arms pressing against her lower back while her own fingers slowly came up to tangle in his damp, messy hair.
She squeezed him with every ounce of energy she had left, cherished his red tresses with soft strokes while feeling his lips on her flesh, a certain desperation hidden in every movement that showed her too well just how worried he had been this entire time.
Above all, there was this wild hammering in his chest, and the odd trembling of his body again that she had witnessed earlier today as well, giving his true emotions away without him saying them out loud. She understood what he felt through his actions alone, and strangely enough, that was all she needed anyway, since she wasn't that much of a big talker herself. And knowing that this gesture was all she needed to calm down, the blonde felt more than horrible for having doubted him in the first place- for having questioned his patience even though he had shown time after time that he was capable of waiting when it came to her.
Maybe he had been right before and she really was stupid.
"Don't ever do this again, got it? You have to promise not to leave me like that."
"I won't-"
"Promise me, Erina!"
"…I promise. I promise not to go anywhere; you can count on it, Yukihira Soma."
"I'll take your word on that…"
A tender kiss on her shoulder, and one more right behind her earlobe was all it took to let her fall completely into his embrace, the sensation of his touches leaving a burning sensation in the pits of her stomach as she pressed his head deeper into her neck. His desperation was all too evident, and it tore her apart to have caused this in the first place.
"I swear I'll make it up to you somehow."
"You better. I expect a bunch of food battles once you've recovered. But first, we should get out of here before you collapse again. I can feel you shaking all over."
"Oh please, speak for yourself. I'm perfectly fine."
"Liar. And don't think I haven't noticed you crying over there. Stop that already."
"S-shut up! I'm not crying at all!"
She squeezed her eyes shut in order to prevent the stubborn tears from falling before she pulled back.
Now up close, she was able to see his handsome features in clearer detail, blurry vision or not. And laying her eyes upon that charming smile of his made her realize just how lucky she truly was to have met him in last year's entrance exam- how proud she was to call him hers.
"Fine, whatever. You still can't fool me."
"No, I can't… But, I suppose that's alright since you're the only one who will ever be able to see through me."
"…Is your fever going up again?"
"No, you idiot, I'm trying to be sincere!"
"Really? Huh, gotta admit, you sure could use some work on that. Then again, I guess it's just not in your nature to give me a nice comment, right?"
"What? I was being nice! You're just… too senseless to understand what I mean!"
"Sure, sure, that must be it! Now, you ready to go home or we grab breakfast out here?"
Taking a step forward, he offered her his bent arm for support, probably because he had seen her sway from side to side after they separated. And normally her pride wouldn't allow her to so much as even consider accepting his help, but now… after the trouble she had put him through again, there was no way for her to refuse being close to him, her heart begging her to leave that cursed stubbornness behind just this one time.
And only for tonight, she did. Not only her pride, but also the guilt that had been weighing her down for several weeks was finally washed away from her conscience, her heart free of pain and her mind fully at ease as she linked their arms together with a bright smile on her face.
"Yeah… let's go home."
'Thank you for everything… Mother…'
Annndddd that's a good cut right there, hahahahahah!
Please tell me what you think, guys! I'd love to hear your opinion!
And with that, I'll see you in the next chapter!
Stay safe, and as always:
Take care, everyone!