Gosh darnit, keep forgetting to add this in. Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. But, oh, if it was...
Thanks so much for the lovely reviews!
"That was not funny, Booth!"
Temperance Brennan stormed up the side of a gently sloping hill, at the bottom of which a decomposed body had been found. Flies of every description had been attracted to the area, making it a very uncomfortable environment to work in. To make matters even worse, the temperatures had soared in the last few days, making the air extremely clammy and the rate of decomposition accelerate dramatically.
Seeley Booth was scrambling up behind her, attempting to conquer the topography in his own assured, macho way but the effect was foiled somewhat as he could barely stand for laughing.
"What are you talking about, Bones, that was the funniest thing I have ever…"
She stopped so abruptly, he didn't realise until it was too late. He walked smack bang into her behind. The glare she had been mustering to give him increased in intensity by tenfold. He had the grace to look somewhat apologetic, even if it was an 'I can't believe my own luck' apologetic.
"That was the singular most unfunny thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life and if you…"
The relatively straight face that Booth had managed to force himself to make was instantly wiped off once he attempted to look up at her. He dissolved into chuckles once more, wheezing and choking with laughter.
Brennan drew herself up to her full height, her body trembling with rage. Deciding the only way to relieve her pent-up frustration was through physical activity, she gave Booth a hard push to his chest while simultaneously planting a swift kick to his ankle.
Under normal circumstances, the F.B.I. agent would have been unaffected, if slightly bruised, which he never would have admitted to. However, the extent of his hysterics had left him in something of a vulnerable state and Brennan also had the advantage of upper ground. Under these circumstances, he stood no chance. He went flying.
Refusing to give him a second glance, Brennan continued to pound her way up the slope with all the dignity she could muster. When she reached the top she stared moodily around her: the sky, the grass, her fingernails were all closely examined; anything, anything but look down at him.
A few seconds later, a slightly winded Booth joined her.
"There was no need for that!"
She rounded on him, fists clenched tightly by her sides.
"There was every need! You were being so arrogant, so haughty, so imperious…"
He chuckled softly, shaking his head.
"I love how you always go for the difficult words when you're mad."
She muttered something inarticulate that didn't sound in the least bit flattering, before turning sharply on her heel and bounding off, pony-tail bouncing merrily in time with her steps.
Sighing quietly, Booth jogged after her. She had reached the car, still resolutely avoiding his gaze, and he was only a few feet away when a wicked grin spread across his face. He knew he really shouldn't but the temptation was too much to resist.
"Bones?"
In spite of everything, she turned to face him. Her posture was stiff, her lips pursed and her eyebrows drawn together and raised slightly.
"What do you want, Booth?"
"It's just…eh…you have a little something on your head."
With a strangled scream she advanced on him. He could actually feel the hairs on the nape of his neck stand to attention. Maybe that hadn't been such a good idea.
"Have I? Have I really?"
Her face turned purple with rage and she punctuated every syllable with a furious prod to his chest.
"I was actually aware of that, seeing as how you've already pointed it out to me a number of times since it occurred. When it first happened, you nearly killed yourself laughing and pointed very energetically at me. THEN you called over anyone in the vicinity to come and inspect me, just in case your eyes were deceiving you."
Lips twitching furiously, Booth struggled to keep his emotions in check.
"Can you blame me, Bones? You yourself were acting so arrogant, so haughty, so inferior…"
"Imperious."
"Whatever…imperious with everyone and then when you finally stood up and stopped bossing everyone around, this bird comes out of nowhere and just went splat!"
Booth doubled up, tears streaming down his face.
Brennan glowered down at him. She could barely see him, she had drawn her eyes into such narrow slits.
"I wasn't finished. THEN you began chanting "Bulls eye!" accompanied by an extremely rhythmically challenged dance, just in case people within a ten-mile-radius weren't aware of the situation."
Booth began nodding energetically through his tears, a look of delight stretched across his face as though he had forgotten those particular events and was overjoyed at being reminded.
"THEN, this was accompanied by another vicious prod, this time using her nails to full advantage, you decided it would be a great idea to take a picture of me and send it to everyone you know with a caption I am far too ladylike to repeat."
Booth ended up sinking to the ground, completely succumbing to the hilarity of the situation. Brennan was not amused. It was only when she lowered her head down in level with his that he finally stood up.
"Phew, Bones. I don't think I want you riding up front with me. God, that could knock you out."
He hastily changed his mind in response to the filthy look she shot him.
They finally settled themselves into the car. Brennan glared moodily out the window, her arms folded tightly against her chest. Booth began humming, but quickly stopped at Brennan's growl of frustration. Minutes ticked by agonisingly slowly. Booth couldn't stand the silence.
"Bones?"
She directed her most withering look at him.
"What?"
"You have a little something…"