And now on its new date we proudly present an all new episode of Lori Disney? (Not Likely)
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Marshall is sitting in his hotel room drinking a glass of scotch and staring at his phone. He goes to take a sip when there is pounding on the door. As the pounding continues he slowly reaches into the side table drawer and pulls out a gun. He creeps silently to the window and peeks out to see the young soldier who was at the meeting before, along with two guys holding shotguns. He clicks the safety off and gets ready to throw open the door.
"That's not a good idea," a voice echoes from behind the door. Marshall pauses confused. "We just want to talk to you about your partner and where he took the book. We are prepared to compensate you for your help when we find him." He takes a moment before he puts the gun down and opens the door, hands up.
"What would you like to know about the yellow-bellied bastard?" he smiles.
XXX
So follow me down
(Lori stands with the book)
Where to?
Outta this town
With you
Girl, you're movin way
Too slow
So follow me down
Which way?
Down, down, down
I'll show you around
Okay
There's a place we gotta go
(The Disney Encyclopedia begins to glow. Lori sighs)
Follow me, follow me
(Lori is running through the preserve, freezing temporarily on her face)
Fa la la la la
Follow me, follow me
Fa la la la la
(Lori comes to a halt and looks around)
Lori Disney? (Not Likely!)
Episode 6: Fairest of Them All
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Hannah enters the dorm from her last class with her ever cheerful smile on her face. She comes to a halt from her humming when she sees her roommate Lori lying on her bed. She is staring up at the empty ceiling and eating Girl Scout cookies from a box. She also notices Lori's side of the room is still as much of a mess as ever. Clothes are scattered, books everywhere. She sighs.
"Just go talk to him," she says serious. Lori looks at her.
"Huh?"
Hannah rolls her eyes. "You have been moping for a week now. When you're not in class, the cafeteria, or the bathroom you're on your bed eating junk food and staring wistfully up to the heavens. It's super depressing and it keeps your side of the room from being clean… which I'm getting sick of."
Lori narrows her eyes. "I'm not moping. I just feel sick, so I'm resting." Hannah snatches the box from her as she goes for another cookie.
"Then I will make you some tea. These aren't going to help your… cold? Fever? Fakeitis?" She starts eating the cookies herself. "So you're positive this is you being sick and not the fact that Charlie and you haven't had contact in a week?"
"Duh? Why would it be Charlie? It's not like… I miss him or anything. I'm glad he's gone. Good riddance," she defends. Hannah doesn't look convinced.
"Alright, I can see how this is going. But I'm going home this weekend so I won't be able to take care of you and keep you from getting fat."
"I don't get fat. And since when have you been going home?"
"Lori, I told you about this every day this week." Lori just shakes her head. "And you say you haven't been moping." She grabs her suitcase from her bed; giving it a gesture beforehand to point out it has been sitting there. Lori just stares back. "Just talk to him… and clean our room." She heads out, the box still in her hand. She pauses in the hallway. "I'm probably just going to end up doing it, aren't I?" she says to herself. "I guess I could help her when I get back." She starts down the hallway and exits the floor down the stairs.
XXX
Lori is still lying on her bed sometime later with a different box of cookies when a tell-tale rattling sounds from the room. She shoots up and sees the filing cabinet rattling next to her desk. As the glow emits, she hops down and opens the drawer. With a small smile, she grabs her phone only to realize what she was about to do. She sets is on her desk and starts out the door with the book under her arm.
XXX
Lori gets in line for dinner at the cafeteria as Charlie steps in right behind her. They both notice one another and fumble awkwardly as he reaches across her to grab a plate of pasta as she struggles with putting chesses on hers. He then notices the book under her arm. They both lock eyes for a moment and Lori looks like she's about to say something. She falters and keeps walking as Charlie stares after her sadly.
XXX
Lori is walking through the preserve trying to hold and read the book, know her surroundings, and point a flashlight. Clearly struggling, she nearly trips over a tree branch. She turns to say something but of course no one is there. Giving a lonely shudder in the cold, she passes a tree with a library ladder twice and starts to grow frustrated. She stands beneath it and tries to get a grip on where she is. Finally, she hears screaming. She takes off towards it and arrives to find a girl in a heap crying on the ground.
"Hey," Lori calls. The girl keeps crying. She grows quickly impatient. "Hey. Get up so we can do this. I have a weekend of eating cookies to get to." The crying continues. "Okay. I'm going to shine this light on you. Don't freak out." She does and it's Snow White. Lori visibly rolls her eyes at the sight of her. "Oh, this is going to be fun." She kneels next to her and places a hand on her back. Faking a comforting tone she begins. "Hey, it's going to be okay. It's alright Snow White… Snow? Snow White." Snow White looks up at her.
"I was so frightened."
"Hey, I'm here now. I'm going to make sure nothing bad happens to you now. It's my job… if you consider my employer to be the world's most annoying book."
"Who are you if you don't mind me asking?" Snow asks in her sweet tone, warming up to her.
"I'm Lori and more importantly I don't work for the Queen."
"Did the huntsman send you to follow me?"
"Um… yeah. Yes he did. So… come with me." They both rise and start back, but Lori abruptly stops. "Listen though, we're in a completely different kingdom so things will look odd compared to what you're used to. But just relax. It's all fine. Just… act like you belong… as much as you can."
XXX
Lori drags an amazed and wide-eyed Snow White down her hallway after checking that the cost is clear. She pushes her into her dorm room and then begins flipping through the poems in the book, hopeful. Snow White wanders Hannah's side, examining and touching everything.
"It's just so… magical!" She then looks at Lori's side. "Oh my, your quarters are very messy."
"Excuse me?" Lori asks, looking up.
"Just look at all of this. Maybe we can tidy it up together!" Snow White exclaims, clasping her hands together. Lori looks down at the book and shakes it.
"A cleaning lesson? Really? You're really reaching here. You couldn't come up with anything else?!" Snow White ignores her behavior.
"So where is your broom?"
"I don't have one. Hannah probably does though. I'll check her closet."She goes to the closet and sweeps her hand over the top shelf knocking down five unopened boxes. "That's weird." She quickly puts them back, finds the broom, and hands it to Snow White. "Knock yourself out."
"I'm sorry, but-"
"It means go ahead." Snow White begins sweeping the carpet. It only takes Lori a moment to recognize what's wrong and slap her forehead. "Wait a second. This is a carpet. We need to grab a vacuum." Just then door opens and closes. Lori jumps in front of Snow White as Hannah enters the room, angry and dragging her suitcase.
"I have had the worst evening!" she rants, throwing her suitcase on the bed- back to the two. "My car blew a tire right as I got onto the interstate. Then I had to sit for hours so a tow truck could wheel me to some shop and slap me with a huge bill. I had to call Tyler to get a ride back to campus- he took forever of course. And now I'm stuck here this weekend instead of going to see my family!"She finally turns around. "Who's that behind you?"
Snow White peeks her head out around Lori. "I'm-"
"She works for the Queen," Lori mutters under her breath. "Don't say another word."Snow White nods and backs away in fear. Lori turns back to Hannah and smiles. "There's nobody behind me."
Hannah just rolls her eyes. "Lori, you're allowed to have people over. Hi, I'm Hannah. You are-?"
"Her name is Candace. She's leaving."
"Lori, if this is about your image I won't tell anybody that you have friends." She steps around her. She notices something odd. "So Candace… why are you dressed like Snow White?"
"God, Hannah, could you be any more judgmental. Come on, Candace, we're leaving." She starts to drag Snow White towards the door.
"But what about cleaning your room?"
"It'll just have to wait." Hannah bars her from the door.
"Wait, you were about to finally clean your room?" Lori gives a nod and she is instantly skeptical. "Did you pay Candace to do it for you?"
"I am very insulted and leaving. We're leaving." She pulls Snow White past Hannah and into the hallway. Snow White pulls away and heads back.
"Wait. Can I just ask why the Queen is after me?" Hannah looks at her confused and a little disturbed. "I haven't done anything to upset her have I? She seems so lonely and I try so hard to make her happy." Realization starts to dawn and Hannah shakes her head.
"Come on Candace," Lori growls, pulling her away a little roughly.
"Please, I want to be able to help her." Hannah slides down the door frame until she's sitting on the floor- her eyes wide.
"You're Snow White." She nods, smiling. Lori is cringing. "As in not a deranged crazy person, but the actual Snow White from the 1937 movie?"
Lori interjects before Snow White can. "Yes to the first option- wait, you know the year it came out?"
"Yeah," Hannah says as if it is obvious. "It was the first animated movie, costing 1.5 million to make. Many called it Disney's Folly. It won an Honorary Oscar- one big statue, seven miniatures. It paid for an entirely new animation studio. I could go on but Snow White is in right there in front of us!"
"You're a Disney Nerd!" Lori shouts accusingly.
"Why is she here?!" Lori looks around and shoves Hannah back into the room, Snow White following. "How is she here?!"
"I was running from the Queen through the forest when Lori found me and took me back to her castle," Snow White provides helpfully.
"Yeah, I think that's a fair answer," Lori nods.
"I meant how does she exist?!" The cogs in Hannah's head seem to be going furiously.
"I have no-"
"Oh my God. The sea monster, the lion, what Victoria saw… and that was actually Pluto! That was the real Pluto!"
"You still need to take it down a few notches."
Hannah continues, enlightened. "You. It all has to do with you. Going to the lake, running out of class, sneaking into the cafeteria-"
"Wait. How have you heard of that one? Was Ben broadcasting it because he snuck in there too?"
"There are Disney characters coming here because of you. The book!" She grabs it before Lori can react and reads the inside of the cover. "It's all right here!" She suddenly realized what she's saying and drops it. "This is impossible."
"Wait, how- you can read it?" Snow White is not paying attention and starts playing with things around the room. "Stop that."
Hannah's still going, paying no attention to either of them. "Charlie knew. He had to. That's why you cut ties with him- because of this!"
Lori is growing annoyed. "Okay, can you please get a grip? This has gone on long enough and it's growing very tiring." Hannah nods and takes a deep breath.
"Alright. Alright, how do we send her back?"Lori just grows angrier.
"There is no 'we'! I just got rid of one… companion? I'm not looking to take on another."
Hannah backs off at this and pauses for a moment to reflect. "You said you were about to clean the room?"
"Yes, we were," Snow White says cheerily, finally rejoining the conversation.
"Then how about we get cleaning?" She heads for the closet.
"Is it too late to deny everything?" Lori shouts after her.
"Lori, Snow White is in our room."
"I could still deny everything. It won't stop me."
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'm a little confused? Are we leaving still?" Snow White asks.
"No. It turns out I was mistaken. She works for the huntsman too. We can trust her." Hannah is heard giggling in glee. "Now…I guess we should clean my room… on a Friday night." She sits on her desk.
"Whatever is the matter?" Snow White asks as Hannah bolts back in.
"My life just got so much more complicated."
XXX
Sometime later, Snow White is folding clothes while singing to herself and Hannah is organizing Lori's desk while rambling. Lori is cleaning up trash and looking like she just absolutely hates her life.
"So he called all the animators into the sweatbox that night and told them the entire story- acted it out himself. Then he told them that were going to be their motion picture. That room… it had to have been pure electricity."
"Do you have an off switch by any chance?"
"I'm just giving you some essential back-story. You never know, it might be helpful," Hannah provides as she gets ready to launch into another one. Lori cuts in before she can.
"Listen, I've been around the block a few times. I've never needed to know anything beyond what was already in my head."
Hannah nods furiously but then gasps. "Should we be talking like this? Will it throw everything off with her or something if she knows?"
"I don't really care."
"Well you should. You can't send them back sad and broken. I don't think that's the point."
"I just send them back as quickly as possible." Something else dawns on Hannah.
"Wait a second. Are you the reason the ladder went missing in the library?"
Lori takes a beat before replying in an angry tone, "Not every weird thing on campus can automatically be attributed to me now!"
"Sorry… sorry… it just seemed like something you would do." She opens a drawer. "No way!"
"What?" Hannah catches herself and quickly closes it.
"It's actually clean in there. I'm just surprised is all." She goes back to arranging. "So how does it work- the whole sending her home thing?"
"I do something and then sing a poem. It's nothing for you to be that concerned about." Hannah is clearly growing annoyed with Lori as well and turns to talk to Snow White, who seems to have stopped singing.
"Lori, where'd Snow White go?" Lori turns and sees the door to the room is open.
"Oh great."She takes off at a run, Hannah following her. "Where do you think she went?"
"She probably just got curious and was tired of our bickering."
"You go back and keep cleaning," Lori orders starting down the stairs but quickly coming back up. "Did you grab the book?"
"Why-?" Lori sulks back.
"Charlie would have known to grab the book. Just saying."
"I-I didn't know!" Hannah defends.
"Charlie also wouldn't have lost the very first Disney princess!"
"You didn't even know that before I told you!"
XXX
Lori is wandering the campus in the dark desperately scouting for any sign of Snow White. Charlie notices this from his dorm window. He runs out the door and down the hallway.
XXX
Hannah and Lori are waiting in line the next day to grab breakfast. "We'll find her today. I know it," Hannah comforts. Lori just gives her a glare as they walk to find a table. Tyler whistles for Hannah from one with his friends. She pauses.
"Go sit with him," Lori tells her.
"But, we need to talk about-"
"Just go."Hannah nods and starts to walk over. "Hey, Hannah, I have a question real fast." She turns back. "For Psychology, I have to draw this graph of time- how I believe it looks. I don't want to just draw a straight line though. That seems too simple."
"Well, you could make wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey… I guess. It's just an idea."
"Where'd you come up with that?"
"It just popped into my head."She walks away and sits next to Tyler. Lori smirks.
"I thought so." Charlie walks past Hannah, glass of milk in his hand, heading somewhere. She grabs his arm and pulls him aside.
"Charlie! Charlie! Guess what? I know!"
"Excuse me?" he says, a little taken aback.
"Snow White-the real one from the Disney Encyclopedia… she was in our dorm! We lost her and Lori- where are you going?" Charlie just silently walks over to where Lori is now sitting alone. He then proceeds to dump his glass of milk on her head. Some of the cafeteria falls silent.
"You are SUCH a hypocrite!" Lori just sits, cringing. She doesn't face him, doesn't even look angry, she just takes it. "So much for doing things on your own and responsibility and all that other… crap! I'm done! I'm done!" He walks out and Lori slowly turns and glares at Hannah who slowly retreats back to her table with Tyler.
XXX
Lori is trekking through campus as the sun starts to go down, looking everywhere for any trace of Snow White.
XXX
Charlie opens his door to find Hannah there. He goes to shut it but she reacts faster and holds it open.
"Tell her-"he begins. Hannah puts her hands up.
"I came here for me. You know she wouldn't send me here. I found out. If it was up to her I would be at my parents still oblivious to all of this. But I came back and… she had no choice. I've been annoying her ever since."
Charlie's face automatically falls to one of regret. He looks down. "I-I didn't mean to… I just… I miss her."
"Trust me, she misses you too. She's going to get fat without you."
"You don't have to lie to me. She doesn't want any friends. She told me that many, many times."
"Well, I think she's so sad because she realizes that she was wrong. It just took someone really special to make her see that. Like… thirteen kinds of special."
They stand in silence for a moment. "Can you read the book?" he asks suddenly.
"Yeah. Why?"
"I can. Lori can. You can. Victoria couldn't. It was blank to her."
"So it only let the group of us see it. It lets people see it."
"Maybe this all isn't just about her."
"You should tell her this. This is good."
"Lori made her wishes very clear when it comes to me. I'm going to respect them. She has enough going on without worrying about me and my baggage."
Hannah scowls. "Ben?" Charlie gives a small chuckle.
"She promised him I wouldn't get hurt to appease him. He told me… he was gloating."
"Don't… just don't give up on her though. You two have something special."
"Where is she now?"
"Snow White slipped away. She's out looking for her."
Charlie looks at her confused. "Then why aren't you with her?"
"She told me… actually, after breakfast she told me a lot of things. There were a lot of big words used." Charlie disappears for a moment and hands her a flashlight.
"She's never going to say she needs you. But she does. She's not responsible for you. Go be the person she needs." He hands her a piece of paper. "It's what's best for her. This will help her out." Hannah nods and takes off down the hallway.
XXX
It is now officially dark. Lori is wandering through the preserve with her flashlight when she hears footsteps. She desperately whips around but sees that it is Hannah. "What are you doing?! You scared me!"
"I am helping you since it's half my fault she ran out the door." She spots the library ladder against a tree. She looks at Lori who just rolls her eyes and keeps walking.
They walk in silence for a long while. "So how long have you been a nerd?" Lori asks suddenly. Hannah stops in her tracks.
"Excuse me?" she says, defensive.
"Come on. Wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey? You really thought I wouldn't get the reference? You saw my Lost DVD collection I keep in my drawer and was impressed. You didn't question the word companion. You figured everything out faster than Charlie did. You are the most studious person I know. I bet you have some really nerdy stuff too. That's what's in the boxes you keep hidden in the closet."
"I-I still-"
Lori comes up to her and gets in her face. "Okay then. Let's do this. I'm Lori Fitzgerald. I love Doctor Who. I own a sonic screwdriver. I also own every superhero movie, Sherlock, and Lost. I am a nerd. I didn't say anything because it wasn't any of your business. In high school, I wasn't popular. I could care less. People didn't mess with me because I didn't let them." She stares Hannah down before she pulls back.
"I…I wasn't popular either," she admits. "I was never the cool girl. I was the dork. I was the nerd. I was the outcast. Books were stolen from my locker. Sometimes I still feel like the people talking around me are talking about me. Doctor Who is my favorite show. I also own a sonic screwdriver. And I was determined that if I hid all of that when I came here and played cool with people like Victoria and Tyler I could be happy and liked for once."
"I knew the perky and happy perfect thing was an act," Lori grins. She continues walking and after a beat Hannah follows.
"I'm sorry. I really am a nice person… just maybe with a higher IQ."
"You're smarter than having to play pretend, Hannah. I saw it. I knew it." She looks back and sees Hannah is looking sad and ashamed. She takes a beat before turning back to her with a smile. "We should watch an episode… tonight when we get back. It could be fun. I own all the seasons."
"So do I," Hannah answers with a large smile. Suddenly, they stumble upon Snow White who is lying down asleep. "She's right where you found her isn't she?" Hannah can't help but snark.
"Yeah. Well, the room's clean so let's give this a try." Lori opens the book and a poem starts glowing. "Though I'm so glad Snow White has come Send her back home to her one true love" There is a burst of light and afterwards Hannah opens her eyes to see Snow White has vanished.
"Wow… now that was electricity," she can't help but comment. Lori starts back.
"I hope you enjoyed it. You're not getting the show again," she says as Hannah catches up with her.
"We'll just see about that. I'm your companion now."
"You've been talking to Charlie, haven't you?"
"Yeah, and he gave me this." She hands her the paper. "He's going to help you too… even if he's not here." Lori opens it to see a fully detailed sketch map. She can't help but smile.
They keep walking when Hannah bumps her shoulder. "So… what did you learn?"
"I learned a thing or two about seeing people for what they truly are, friendship being found in weird places, having optimism." Both pause and then burst out laughing together.
"Will she be okay?" Hannah asks.
"If my movie knowledge is correct, then she'll wake up in the forest with all the animals- maybe even think we were just a dream."
"Then she gets to meet the dwarves!"
"Such a dork," Lori mutters under her breath.
XXX
Lori and Hannah are sitting on Lori's bed together- eating Girl Scout cookies. They both pull out their sonic screwdrivers and Lori starts the episode. There is knocking on the door. Hannah goes and answers it as Lori pauses the episode. It's Tyler.
"Hey, Saturday night! We're all going out to this place Shaun recommends. You in?"
Hannah takes a beat before smiling. "Sure. Yeah." She peeks her head into the bedroom. "Rain-check?"
"Yeah. Go ahead. Have fun."
"Thanks Lori. I'll see you in the morning!" She grabs her coat and takes off out the door with Tyler. Lori starts the episode and sits on her own, eating cookies- lonely once again and beginning to notice it. She looks at the map and notices something.
XXX
We are back to last night as Charlie runs down the dorm hallway and the opposite way if Lori. He searches for a while before coming across Snow White wandering lost and confused. He gives a smile and runs up to her.
XXX
Charlie sits with Snow White in a clearing in the preserve as the sun starts to come up. "I'll go get her right now. She'll be heading for breakfast soon and I'll lead her here."
"Thank you for helping me."
"Just… stay here. Relax. Everything's going to be alright."He scribbles on the map. "Lori will be here real soon. I promise." He heads off through the preserve as Snow White yawns.
XXX
Lori sees on the map the clearing is marked with an x and labeled 'Snow White Clearing'. She looks out the window to the other dorm and frowns for a long while, just staring in the darkness of her dorm room as the episode plays in the background.
XXX
Charlie sits on his bed, studying by himself.
XXX
Next week, Hannah tries desperately to fit into her role as the new companion, Charlie struggles to keep his distance, and Lori is in desperate need of a hero when she ends up in life-threatening peril. Tune in next Sunday, our new date (making it easier on this college student and part-time worker), for the next episode!