The Worth of Ash
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Game of Thrones or any related titles, characters, plots, settings, etc. These rights are the sole property of George R.R. Martin, HBO, and their various publishers and distributors. I own only the original elements of this story, the writing and publishing of which earn me no money.
Chapter Thirty-One
Kyren did not have much time remaining. She had heard the maids responsible for replacing torches tittering amongst themselves about the handsome Ser Jaime leaving King's Landing for the Riverlands. Every sound made her startle these days and the specter of the Mountain haunted her every dream. As time simultaneously seemed to stretch and disappear, Kyren began to fully understand why some prisoners of the Red Keep succumbed to madness.
At last came the day on which footsteps approached her door and halted. A fumbling came at the lock and Kyren straightened, ready to meet her fate with pride even as the abject fear curled in the pit of her stomach.
Bellin pulled the door open, her dress ill-fitting over the telltale rounded belly of pregnancy. Kyren stared. "Bellin, what are you doing here?"
"Follow me," she hissed, beckoning frantically. "And you'd best hurry if you wish to survive the day!"
Kyren obediently passed through the door, which Bellin locked carefully behind them. As they scurried through the bowels of the Red Keep, she asked, "Why are you helping me? Shana made it seem as though you helped to give me to Cersei."
"Of course I did nothing of the sort!" Bellin insisted, seeming shocked and offended. "Shana bears you ill will for hurting Tarik. When we all discovered that she had sold news of your location to the gold cloaks, we were furious! We had to deliver you from whatever horrible death the queen has planned for you."
"But why take such a risk? We scarcely knew each other." Though she knew it was less than wise, Kyren could not ignore that chattering casually with Bellin was helping her nerves during the jaunt through the Red Keep.
"You have never been anything but kind to each of us, Shana included. Besides, to break the rites of hospitality?" Bellin shook her head violently. "She invites the wrath of the Seven on us."
That answer, strangely enough, was enough to convince Kyren. Her faith in selfless deeds had taken a rapid decline as of late, but - even when they had lived in the same space - Bellin's faithfulness to the Seven had been strong to the point of superstition.
They moved through the castle in silence, keeping to abandoned corridors and hiding whenever a guard was present, especially one Kyren had known from her time spent traveling freely to and from the Red Keep. Such things seemed a lifetime ago rather than a handful of years.
Bellin kept to a rapid pace, even when her breaths came in rapid puffs from the exertion and Kyren urged her to slow. When they at last stepped onto the perpetually-damp streets of King's Landing in the wee hours of the morning, Kyren paused to take in the air, but Bellin tugged sharply at her arm. "We must keep moving! We are not yet safe!"
Kyren followed along willingly enough, but pulled herself free when she realized that Bellin was returning the two of them to Dyser's. "What are you thinking? I will not return there."
"Shana will not know you have returned," Bellin assured her, grasping her arm once more.
Kyren took several steps sideways, concealing them in the arched doorway of a nearby shop. "Bellin, I do not fear for my own safety, but that of Shana. If I am brought near her again, I fear I will take revenge for what she attempted to do to me. Your child will lack a grandmother."
"He has another," Bellin replied flippantly while Kyren burst out with a shocked laugh. "Kyren, Shana has sought to make me miserable from the moment Bracks and I announced our babe. She resents another mouth to feed and seeks revenge on Tarik for not choosing a wife who can labor in Dyser's as well. She has become nearly impossible to live alongside. I would allow you to take your revenge however you choose - and I believe Tarik and Bracks feel much the same - but we trust in your restraint that you would not seek to kill her."
Much as Kyren would like to argue otherwise, she knew that she would not truly end Shana's life, not when so many depended on her for their livelihood. "Very well," she sighed. "I shall return to Dyser's. Lead on, but know that I will endeavor to avoid her at all costs."
Bellin did not respond to that, but quickly brought them to Flea Bottom and Dyser's. The windows were dark, but they entered to find Bracks and Tarik waiting. Bracks immediately rose to wrap Bellin in a tight embrace. He berated her for foolishness and murmured his pride in the same breaths, pulling back to only search her over for harm. Tarik approached Kyren while she watched the reunion.
"Kyren, I am more sorry than I can say for what my mother did. I had no part in the information she passed to Cersei or her brother, I vow it on everything I am-"
"I know, Tarik," she assured. "I bear no ill will to anyone except Shana herself."
"Thank you," he said simply. "Here, I managed to save these for you."
He reached back to a small pile on a nearby table and handed it to her. Kyren smiled broadly. It appeared that Tarik had been able to secret away her corset and forearm sheaths, keeping them - along with all of her daggers - safe from discovery. There was still quite a bit missing, but all was replaceable but the daggers.
"I could not save all of it," he admitted, guilt on his handsome face. "My mother sold a great deal before I realized what she was doing."
"Thank you, Tarik," she said with a smile. "This is more than I thought possible."
"Here," Bracks said, offering a mid-sized sack that was filled with food when Kyren checked. "For your journey."
"Thank you," Kyren repeated. "Thank you for everything you've done to help me. I will not forget it. Is Sotam in the stables?"
"Most likely," Tarik affirmed. "I have no occasion to go inside, but I would assume he remains there still."
With another round of thanks and well-wishes, Kyren slipped out of the door and into the stables of the neighboring business. It took two rounds of checking before she was forced to admit that Sotam was not inside. Overwhelming sadness consumed her, followed rapidly by a blazing rage in the pit of her stomach.
With sure steps, Kyren strode back into Dyser's, allowing the door to strike the wall with a loud slam! She stomped up the narrow staircase, ignoring the questions from the younger Dyser generation in favor of reaching Shana's room. She slammed that door open as well, her longest dagger already withdrawn from its sheath. Kyren knocked the small blade out of Shana's hand, already knowing that she would have been woken from the noise.
"Where is he?" she asked, holding the blade firmly against Shana's throat.
"I do not know who you could mean," Shana said, proudly jutting her chin. Kyren did not adjust the position of her blade to allow for the motion and Shana placed a shallow cut across her throat with her action.
"Sotam. My stallion. He is no longer in the stables where I left him. What have you done with him?" Each sentence was short, clipped, as Kyren bit them out with bared teeth.
"Go on, keep making noise," Shana invited. "With one call from me, guards will swarm down from the Red Keep. You will be arrested once more and executed as you should have been the first time."
"Mother, how can you say such things?" Tarik asked, horrified. Kyren realized dimly that they must have entered the room behind her, but would not risk looking away to make certain. "You offered Kyren hospitality."
"Fuck the Seven," Shana said with a laugh, sparking a gasp from Bellin. "If they will do nothing to prevent my family from being hurt, I will rectify the situation myself."
"You are a fool," Kyren snarled. "You've placed your son in danger by revealing the nature of our relationship to Cersei. She threatened to kill him as I watched in order to bring me pain."
Shana said nothing, but Kyren could see the color leach from her skin even in the dim light of the window.
Kyren shook her head. "Just return Sotam to me and I will leave. Your family will be safe so long as you do not repeat your foolish actions."
"I do not know where your stallion is," Shana revealed. "He was stolen from the stables some weeks ago."
She gritted her jaw and stepped back. "Very well, I shall find him myself. But betray me again and I will take your life."
"You will be too frightened to show your face in King's Landing again," Shana sneered with false bravery, but flinched violently when Kyren tossed her dagger to embed in the wood of the wall beside Shana's face.
Kyren leaned forward and tugged the blade free from the wall, fixing Shana with a coolly threatening stare as she did so. "I do not have to show my face to end your life."
With that, she left, resheathing the dagger and settling the bag of food more firmly over her shoulder as she went.
"Far too cheerful," Bronn muttered as he walked up to stand beside Jaime.
"I beg your pardon?" Jaime asked, knowing full well that the lighthearted satisfaction he felt must be showing on his face as he stared down at Riverrun.
"Never thought I'd miss the depressing, one-handed sister-fucker who haunted King's Landing, but now look at you."
"Careful," Jaime warned. Though his sister still held power through their recently-crowned son - and Jaime was not lacking in his own strength - there were dangers in openly speaking of the taboo relationship he and Cersei had once shared.
It had been years since she had willingly shared his bed…
"There he is," Bronn crowed, slapping him on the shoulder. "Good to have you back."
Jaime shook off Bronn's hand with new irritation. "Go be certain the perimeter guards are alert. I want to be notified if anyone so much as looks at Riverrun. I have a siege to plan."
"Aye, m'lord," Bronn agreed sarcastically.
The Blackfish was a formidable enemy, Jaime could not deny it. The old man had come strolling down the ramparts of his castle as though it were a spring morning and he hadn't a care in the world, pausing only to invite the men waiting below to kill his nephew before continuing along his way. He was headstrong beyond reason and still Jaime could not prevent a lightness in his being.
This was a simple task, a quick jaunt away from King's Landing. It was a welcome departure from his troubles with Cersei. After all, any fool could run a siege with a collection of men the size of the Lannister army and Jaime was hardly a fool. Now that he had wrested command from the Frey men, this would likely turn into a short siege followed by commendations from the crown. Perhaps Bronn would even gain his castle from this victory…
The only obstacle that held any potential for making trouble was the Blackfish himself. He was stubborn, openly disdainful toward Jaime, and all-too-prepared to die in his attempt to defend Riverrun from Houses Frey and Lannister.
Perhaps more disconcertingly, his men were well-trained. Even during the parley between himself and the Blackfish, the Tully men had never wavered in keeping Jaime in the crosshairs of their bows. They obeyed every command the Blackfish issued and sought to determine what he would want next. That sort of loyalty could not be bought, or Jaime would have done so by now. Gods, what he could do with only a handful of men so loyal as those!
"Ser Jaime, we captured two outsiders attempting to breach the perimeter," a Lannister soldier informed him.
Jaime whirled about to face the man directly. "Bring them to my tent," he ordered tersely.
Only moments later, Jaime dragged his left hand down his face, taking a moment to massage his eyes. "What could possibly bring the two of you here?"
Brienne of Tarth frowned up at him. "We came to recruit the Blackfish to fight for Sansa Stark, as I told you before."
She had indeed told him so, but his luck could not possibly be so poor. "And why did she send you rather than anyone else?"
"I am sworn to serve-"
"I know!" he snapped, and she fell silent. Young squire Pod glanced back and forth between the two of them wordlessly. He had yet to speak. Jaime collapsed into a chair to stare at Brienne from a similar height and could not prevent the smile from stretching across his face. "You always seem to turn up in the oddest places, Brienne."
"I need to speak with the Blackfish," she answered.
"Yes, yes, you've said that," he responded absently. "I have had no success reasoning with the man. Perhaps you will."
He rose and the others rose with him. "Bronn?" he called, and when the knight answered, said, "Get word to the Blackfish that he has company of a more agreeable sort. When he understands and is less likely to behead them on sight, escort these two to the drawbridge."
"You do know I'm not actually your servant?" Bronn grumbled.
"I'm a Lannister," Jaime replied with a disarming grin. "I treat everyone as my servant."
Bronn groaned and led the way outside Jaime's tent, but Brienne stayed behind. "Ser Jaime, I wish to return your sword. It has served me well and fulfilled its purpose."
"It is yours," he refused. "Brienne, I gave you that sword as a recognition for being a commendable warrior undertaking a task I frankly assumed was impossible. I am glad you proved me to be mistaken." Her face softened and Jaime flashed a quick grin to keep her from forgetting just who - and what - he was. "Prove me wrong once more, will you? Convince the old man in that castle to leave and follow you north."
She nodded at him and left, following her squire to send a message to the Blackfish.
Jaime stood in a clearing, blinking in the bright sun, which was how he knew it was a dream. Westeros was blessed with few days of sun, even fewer during times of winter. Oddly enough, he recognized the clearing in question. It was just outside of King's Landing and he had never stopped there long enough to do anything more than dismount, take a piss, and ride away. However, it was most certainly the same place. Half a day's stroll from the very gates of the Red Keep, but far enough to be free of the bustle and stench of the city.
It was pleasant in the clearing, warm and filled with nature. Had Jaime a weapon, he could easily have collected game enough to eat well for several meals. And yet, weaponless and contented, he lay back in the grasses to stare up at the passing clouds.
There was no way of knowing how much time he spent in the small, peaceful sphere, but Jaime was soon brought lurching to his feet by a too-familiar croaking squawk. He had not heard a similar sound in a great length of time, but he knew beyond any logical reason that it had been the phoenix he dreamed of just before his hand was removed.
Abruptly, his heart was in his throat as he caught sight of the phoenix soaring overhead, far above the treetops. It seemed to be at the strongest point of its lifespan, the wind ruffling the bird's glossy grey feathers to reveal hints of their reddish bases. Jaime was too far away to see its bright yellow eyes, but from the direct route the bird was taking, he knew they would be fixed determinedly on a target of some kind.
But what could have caused the normally peaceful creature to behave in such a way? In all honesty, Jaime had not truly believed the phoenix capable of flight.
The bird began wheeling, arcing gracefully through the air to avoid the storm of arrows attempting to shoot it down. Every once in a while, a larger projectile would roar past, obviously slung by a trebuchet of some variety. The phoenix avoided these easily, but they distracted it from the arrows and Jaime feared more than once that it would be pierced by the wicked tips of the arrowheads.
More importantly, why did he care? There were no apparitions of the Seven to warn him that protecting Brienne should be a priority, the phoenix was not actively burning, and Jaime had been… admittedly, not devout, but far less horrible than he had been during his life before his capture.
Filtering through the trees, he heard a dim echo of a voice. His voice, Jaime realized with a start.
"After all, what is the worth of ash?"
"The fire burns and burns and we are what is left."
The second voice belonged to Kyren, no mistaking it.
Flashes of memory seemed to overtake his mind then, moments with Kyren and the focus was always on her eyes. Her odd yellow eyes. He knew he had seen the phoenix's gaze before. And if his mind had somehow interpreted Kyren as the phoenix, was she under as strong an attack as the one in his dreams?
Jaime awoke quietly, filled with a determination that pushed out all the cheer of the past days. He had to return to King's Landing, and if that meant storming Riverrun, so be it. He owed nothing to these men, not the ones inside the castle nor the ones in the armies. He would sacrifice as many as necessary to end this mess.
As he dressed, Jaime could not prevent a frown at his bright golden armor with scarlet touches. It seemed garish and unnecessary next to the black leather armor worn by the Blackfish, but it was what he had. Jaime donned it with a grim realization: he would never be an honorable man, but he could use his dishonor to aid those he was closest to.
He strode from the tent and past the fire where Bronn sat drinking with a collection of Lannister and Frey soldiers. "Hey! Where are you going, then?"
"It is time I've had a chat with Edmure Tully," Jaime said darkly, never breaking his stride.
Kyren tossed away the rind of the cheese she had eaten to break her fast. It fluttered down, down, and further down until it at last hit the rough stone of the street. Her spying spot was on the uppermost floor of one of King's Landing's tallest buildings. She had commandeered the balcony by offering a single favor to the owner. He, unsurprisingly, had asked her to retrieve payment from some reluctant customers and she had done so with alacrity.
He had then asked her to stay on as his retriever of coin, an offer she was pretending to consider until she found what she was searching for.
Through careful rationing of the food given to her by the younger Dysers, she had most of the sack remaining and had been given a tip on where to find Sotam. She simply had to stake out this spot in order to wait for the man who had stolen him. By all reports, he visited King's Landing with some frequency and was due to make another appearance...
And there. Kyren's entire being thrilled with warmth at the sight of Sotam's familiar bearing and warmed more quickly with the heat of rage at the downtrodden way he pulled the cart behind him. It was heavily laden with metal goods and likely weighed a good bit more than should be leashed to a single animal, but Sotam was strong. There was something more at play.
Even as she watched, the man driving the cart shouted something at Sotam - she was too far away to hear details - and pulled his arm back. She was on her feet before the first stroke of the whip fell and had raced down the stairs and onto the street before he finished.
As he flicked the whip backward once more, she allowed it to wrap around her leather-protected arm before slicing it with a dagger. The man glanced behind him to see what the whip had gotten caught on and Kyren strode forward. "I believe you have something of mine."
"I have nothing that don't belong to me."
"Are you certain? My horse, perhaps?" She moved back around the cart to stand beside Sotam. Immediately, he snorted a welcome and nuzzled his large head against her chest. Kyren patted him and hummed absently while she watched the man turn purple with rage.
"Are you claimin' I'm a horse thief?"
"Return him to me and this need not go any farther. You can go along your business, sell your wares, and buy a new horse. You seem to have some talent." Indeed, the single small blade she had seen on the cart was a touch rough according to her high standards, but with effort…
"Get away from my horse, you lyin' whore!" he shouted, brandishing the half of his cloth whip still remaining. Scowling, he tossed it into the street in favor of one from his cart made of braided leather, much more difficult to sever.
Perhaps this could not be resolved peacefully. Pity. Kyren eased into a defensive stance as he pulled the whip over his shoulder and began shouting once more. A crowd had already gathered and his bellowing would do little more than attract guards. "Witless whore! I'll flay the skin from your back and then I'll do the same for the cursed beast beside you!"
If guards came, they would immediately place her under arrest in order for Cersei to plan an execution - but only after giving her to the Mountain. Kyren's jaw tensed. She could not allow that to happen.
It was a simple thing to vault up onto the wagon, a move that stunned the man too thoroughly to swing his weapon. Kyren did it for him. Her first lash caught him from shoulder to opposite hip and he screamed. The second snaked over his shoulder blade and tore up to flick around his throat and he screamed louder. The last one caught his lower lip, quite by accident. A whip was an unruly weapon, Kyren was discovering, and she felt a flash of admiration for Nymeria Sand. In any case, the whip caught his lower lip and clipped the lobe of an ear.
As he screamed, sobbed, and babbled incoherently, Kyren efficiently detached Sotam from the wagon and rode away, but only after plucking the ill-balanced dagger from the man's stock and tucking it into her pack.
Author's Note - Kyren tries to be fair, but she seems to lose all sense of reason when someone or something she loves is at risk. Thanks for reading, no reviews to mention but I'm hopeful for this chapter! I'll see you all some time in October. Have a great day!