Finally. This is a baby fic after all :D

Philia part I

(philia)

I love you
at three a.m.
when for the thousandth time
I thank a god I do not believe in
for giving you life.

— one, two, three, four - a.j. (via ibuzoo)

Selina wanted to leave as soon as she was able to stand up without having to hold herself against the wall, but Barbara wasn't having it. She was talking and talking, and since she had asked about her period Selina's head started pounding and she just wanted Barbara to shut the fuck up.

Then she had something trusted into her hands. She looked at the thin carbon box confused.

'Just pee in it, it's easy.'

'Why do you even have this?'

'I manage a women-only employee bar, these things are handy.'

She gave Barbara a suspicious look.

'Why do you even care?'

'Because I care about you.' Barbara said in a sickening sweet tone.

Selina wanted to throw up again.

'Yeah, right.'

Barbara dropped the act and rolled her eyes.

'Just do it.'

Selina pondered her options. In one hand she was scared out of her life to do that test, on the other it wasn't like she could get another test easily and she had to know. A pregnancy wasn't like something she could ignore and it would go away. Barbara was crazy and she surely had some creepy agenda driving her to be so nice, but she had never really harmed Selina before.

'Fine.'

Barbara smiled in that maniac way of hers but didn't move.

'Get out.' Demanded Selina annoyed.

'Oh! Right!'

She left the bathroom, but by her voice Selina knew she was just on the other side of the door.

'So?'

'I'm not done, yet.'

'Think of waterfalls, rain, dripping faucets…'

'Shut up, Barbara.'

'Ohhh, moody aren't we?'

Selina opened the door eventually, she held the stick like it was about to bite her.

'What does it say?' Barbara asked biting her nail, Selina was deeply disturbed by how she was so into the whole thing.

'I don't know. What two sticks mean?'

Barbara's creepy smile widened.

'Congratulations!'

Selina felt the headache become ten times worse, and suddenly she felt like the air disappeared, she couldn't breathe.

'No. No. This is not happening. This thing is wrong.'

'Selina… We can do another one if you like, but you said you haven't been having your period and is tired and nauseous all the time, that's pregnancy for you.'

Selina didn't say anything for a while, she just looked at the positive pregnancy test in her shaking hand.

'No…but…. No. It. No.'

'Selina, calm down. You are turning blue.' She put her free hand on Selina's shoulder. 'Jesus, you are cold.'

Selina took a few shaky breaths, closed her eyes trying to make the whole room stop turning but it seems to make things worse. She grabbed the fabric of her shirt covering her chest, she felt like her bones were too tight, crushing her.

'You must think I'm so stupid.' She finally managed in a broken voice and slid down against the wall.

Barbara sighed, sitting on the closed lid of the toilet, still holding her baby.

'Yeah, I do. But considering how I got pregnant, I have no right to judge. And you could've got a lot worse baby daddy than a billionaire boy that love you to bits.'

'It's not his.' She tried pathetically. Barbara rolled her eyes.

'Oh please, Selina. I saw the both of you eating each other faces far too many times to believe in that.'

Selina didn't say a thing for a while, she just couldn't believe that was happening. From all the twisted fucked up things that ever happened to her, teen pregnancy? Really? What was her? An after school special?

'He left.' Selina mumbled.

'What?'

'He left, Barbara, and it was bad enough without… this.'

'Left? To where?'

Selina seriously had never been more annoyed at Barbara in her life.

'I don't know. He just left and all I got was this stupid letter.' She said angrily.

'Well, not all you got.' Barbara said a trace of laugh in her voice. Selina gave her a nasty look. Barbara didn't seen to care. She took a weird pleasure of pushing other people's buttons. 'His butler must know where he is, Selina. Don't worry. I'm really disappointed on him for leaving you in this hell hole and going to have fun elsewhere. But men are like that, darling.'

And said that she got up cooing to her baby and left Selina alone.

ooo

'Where is he?!'

Alfred didn't seem to be fazed at all by her sudden appearance or demanding tone.

'Good afternoon to you too, Miss Kyle.'

Selina had to work hard to stop the urge to use her bullwhip on the pompous prick.

'Where. Is. He?'

'Not here, Miss Kyle.' He didn't even look away from him book.

Selina marched towards him, took the book from his hands and threw the damn thing against the wall.

'Well, that was really impolite.' He said, impassive.

'Impolite? You must think I'm a joke, don't you? Just tell me where the fuck he is!'

Alfred finally stood up but Selina didn't retreat, ignoring how he was towering over her, she just looked up defiantly.

'You will watch your tone, young lady. And no, I do not think you are a joke. I think you are a sad story, Miss Kyle. A cautionary tale. I, for a fact, do not know where Master Bruce is, and even if I did, I would respect his wishes to not be found by the likes of you. Heaven knows how long I prayed for the end this… Infatuation. I have never understood the appeal.'

Selina never felt the urge to slap someone so strong before. But she didn't. She laughed instead. A mirthless bitter laugh.

'I knew it. I knew it. You rich people are all the same. You never change. Even after all this years and all this crap we went through. You just think we are all garbage because we didn't go the same stuck up parties or know how to use properly all the twenty-seven forks you use to eat a single oyster. You use people than throw them away and you don't feel guilty. You don't feel anything. You know what? It doesn't matter anymore. Fuck you. And fuck Bruce too.'

She left before he could say anything else.

Well… We all know Selina's and Alfred's relationship in Gotham is a bit… You know. To be fair I really don't like Gotham's Alfred. I think he gives a working class vibe that doesn't match the character at all. And before someone accuses me of classism, I *am* working class lmao Very much so. Slum born. But Alfred shouldn't be. I always thought him as a male Violet Crawley. Even more snobbish than Mr. Carson. And Gotham's Alfred feels like a Call The Midwife character. This fic is character bashing free though, I don't do that.

I'm taking a slightly different path from my script here, we should already have the first timeskip, this story has two, because I'll not write a lot about Selina's pregnancy, not much happens there. We still we have the ten years timeskip too. But I think the next chapter will be the last in this period, I think. Well. Till next time. Stay safe and send me your thoughts.