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Chapter 23: Fresh Perspective, Inner Acceptance and a New Worm

~Kuro's POV~

There were times when things within the universe just were there to not make sense to logical people.

Despite her propensity to waddle properly within the chaotic ocean of insanity that was the Moonlit World, there were still plenty of issues that Kuro just failed to even comprehend a little bit.

It was annoying, it was exasperating, but, worst of all, it was deadly for someone like her.

It had been EMIYA's memories, that had remained well deep in her mind, that had shook her from her rest, the sharp need to stay awake in moments of uncertainty and inability to defend herself.

An instinct long developed from various experiences and that the young Einzbern thought connected to Eye of the Mind, or even something that just couldn't be translated in known abilities of the Counter-Guardian.

Her now-red eyes blinked awake from her unexpected slumbering, her attention suddenly grasping at any remembrance of what had happened before falling unconscious and away from the important happenings that had took almost a full day to complete.

Kuro blinked again at the ceiling, this time her mind finding clarity and calm within this logical reassessment as she noticed that a couple of things just felt different.

A new body. She had almost forgotten that immensely important detail and… she was surprised when she felt the very first effects of this change already from the beginning.

There was such a strange balance of things within her core, something that she had failed to register from her 'birth' up until to her current situation.

The dissonance of two stubbornly strong souls clashing with each others, influencing her mind and settling her in a state of immense displeasure and dependence.

But now there was silence, there was quiet. She was calm, her breathing was normal and her thoughts were cleared of any conflicting understandings of her new circumstances.

Some of the inner needs were there, both Justeaze's ambitious sight over the family's success and EMIYA's thirst to conceptualize blades for the sake of good, but they were diluted, or better, adjusted to better fit within her dominant perspective.

It felt like breathing clean air after wasting so much time enjoying the smokes and the ashes of two crumbling doctrines.

A small smile finally appeared on her face, her body put at ease as she finally grew accustomed with her whereabouts.

It was one of the bedroom left available within the Einzbern Castle in Fuyuki City, and her eyes didn't even need to look around to perfectly remember all the details that made this little place a safe haven for the Clan members and allies.

Another blink, Chloe finally took notice of the lack of warmth beyond her own body under the covers, her eyes slowly turning to the side and humming with mixed thoughts over the lack of a certain Matou.

Perhaps Shinji was already awake and testing out his new body? Or maybe he was just taking his time wandering around to sort out his thoughts.

Or even both considering the prolific mind he still got.

A yawn left her now pale lips and the girl finally started to rise up from the comfy mattress, her eyes lazily taking account of the fact that the maids had to have dressed them both while they had been unconscious and… what a pity.

The little Einzbern sighed, her dull stare directed downward for a couple of moments to properly scroll down the rest of the sleepiness hindering the wake up process.

Yet, in that state of tired daze, her attention was completely taken by a detail she had failed to take notice early on.

Black. Her hair was now the polar opposite of the standard Einzbern hair color, its shade almost familiar and somewhat amusing.

She thought well about this, remembering that she wasn't just a Einzbern but also an Emiya, and not only by the properties of the Archer Card.

Kiritsugu Emiya was dark-haired, and thus any child of his were partly expected to take this element from him.

Illya's birth was conditioned by the specialized doctor-maids in the castle back in Germany so that only the Einzbern traits would emerge within the newest heiress.

But Kuro didn't have any of that circumstance influencing her current appearance, thus she was now created to be the closest thing of a twin to Illya.

She was Chloe, there was no denying to that new legacy of hers, but perhaps it was time to adopt a name that best suited with her reinforced paternity.

Kuro Emiya, daughter of Kiritsugu Emiya and Irisviel von Einzbern.

It was odd how the tables had turned, how in the end her 'purity' was dashed for the creation of a completely new strain of the bloodline.

Her memories from EMIYA were quick to provide some amusing details that, if proven to be correct, would seriously increase her combat capability.

Could it be that her Origin and Element had changed with this situation? Maybe she had to check and, if her suspects were proven correct, it would be a good reason to start to involve herself in the old family's affinity of making use of weapons.

It was amusing, especially since the EMIYA's leftover within her mind tried but failed miserably to dissuade her from distancing herself just for a moment from Unlimited Blade Works.

But the itch was mostly gone, her craving to keep a blade ready to be traced to satisfy the need of making use of that unique magecraft was now so diluted it hardly mattered to her survival needs.

Would she outright ditch UBW? Not truly, no.

Yet Kuro wasn't in need to have that draining ability become her own nightmare to deal with.

Her legs shifted over the warm covers and right out of those as she carefully moved to reach the edge of the bed, where a pair of flip-flops were there waiting to be used.

She hesitated just a little, her tip-toes hovering over the pair for a while and… then she let them fall inside of those.

No oddities were born from that simple activity, and for a moment Chloe couldn't help but feel a little bit silly over the general situation.

Paranoia was alright if managed and present in small quantities. Left unchecked or even let fester too much within one's mind, it can easily make misunderstandings bigger than they need to be.

A soft hum started to build up as the girl started to calmly make her way towards the only door of the room, stealing just a glance by the nearby window as to see what time it was.

Morning, she had been asleep for more than planned. It was an annoying development but… perhaps it was best for her body to have required that much time.

Her case was different, more complex, than the one that Shinji had to go through. His mind was already intact, while hers had suffered some moments of unpleasant instability that she herself had yet to abandon now that she had been freed by those.

It was exciting alright, to be finally conceded some free rein over her own thoughts, but perhaps the after-effects and the past influence did leave just some minor 'injuries' that needed more time to fix.

But resting wouldn't help, no. She needed some time to ponder freely and away from mere sleeping, and she needed to talk to someone.

Yes, making a conversation, one where all topics were easy to deal with and quite light-hearted, would just start her day properly.

Finally she started to let out the humming, a suave sound that accompanied the rhythm of her steps through the mostly deserted hallway, her eyes scanning thoroughly over the place.

There was proper silence at first, the lack of distinct noises that would have dignified the presence of anyone was soon replaced by the distant sounds of someone talking.

Her ears twitched, and soon her attention was diverted at finding the origin of the conversation.

There was no obstacle, no reason to take a pause in her path, and Chloe took this as a good reason to actually find someone before checking on her appearance properly.

The detail wasn't as significant as the need of sharing some discussion, to make this dream-like perception of everything vanish with a realistic discussion.

This wasn't a dream, this was reality.

But what if it was?

That very question was aggravating her state of new peace, and that wouldn't just do.

So she finally stood in front of the origin of the noise, the living room that was usually taken by the group to share discussions about everything, from important to simple stuff and...

Kuro opened the door that was closed to her, slowly but calmly as she got a glance of what was going on inside there.

The girl's red eyes widened a little at the explosion of giggles and laughs, everyone seemed so immersed about something that wasn't… hers.

The Einzbern blinked in surprise when she spotted Gilgamesh giggling without hesitation, his hand failing to hide the degree of red his face had turned into after laughing so much for so long.

Luvia was sitting beside a… young blond man that was sharing some mirthful chuckles with the younger blonde about the same subject of amusement.

Even Salter was failing to hold back her own giggles at the sight bestowed right in the middle of the room and… Kuro finally decided to investigate about what had gotten them all so much elated.

Shinji looked immensely embarrassed at the circumstance, his eyes closed while his whole face was burning a solid red shade as he continued to receive the various reactions of the many individuals looking at this interesting humiliation.

His hands were currently squeezing tightly at the shaft of a certain Mystic Code, trying to bend and break it while the Kaleidostick offered the greatest of giggles at the current situation despite the state of pain it seemed to be.

The Matou was rightfully furious with Ruby, as his current state of clothing did show that there was a proper motivation that drove him to react so aggressively towards the perverted stick.

Considering the situation, Kuro was half-tempted to guess that Shinji had tried to make use of the power of the kaleidostick and, Ruby being Ruby, he ended up getting tricked into turning what a young boy his age (and adults too) would find quite distasteful.

It was Illya's own magical girl's dress. All the details were spot on, from the petite pink boots to the wings-like ribbons tying some locks of his dark-purple hair.

But in that state of femininity clashing with his masculinity, Chloe couldn't help but be mesmerized by the overall cuteness that was exuding from the scene.

Despite the amusing element within the sight, what truly caught her attention was the incredible sense of adorable the clash of pink and purple was creating before her eyes.

It was endearing, it was pleasant and… she stifled her own giggles as the boy finally opened his eyes and noticed her.

The stare of the embarrassed Matou was just what the girl needed for the amusement to roll out of her tongue.

He looked worse at that, but didn't seem angry about that reaction. Rather, his irritation was once again directed at the Kaleidostick, with Ruby more than happy to tank all the abuse for the sake of teasing her Master for the first time ever.

But to be fair, maybe it was actually Shinji's fault for having ignored the chances of the Kaleidostick to actually make some moves of her own to draw some entertaining scene out of his surprise and embarrassment.

He was perfectly aware of the other counterpart, the one that was tied to Illya, and it was odd for him to have forgotten that like this…

Or maybe he just misplaced trust upon the playful Mystic Code. She didn't do anything towards him to warrant any degree of distrust… until now that is.

And now Shinji was perfectly aware of this situation, probably ending up keeping a tighter watch over Ruby's attitude from now on.

The Kaleidostick might have burned some trust like that, but perhaps it was all worth in her eyes to make a stronger bond with the boy.

Chloe could see it as a possibility, as she herself was aware that Ruby was no foolish Mystic Code.

Or perhaps she was giving too much trust herself to the Kaleidostick right now.

So the young Einzbern merely joined the group in that amusing sight, knowing full well that there was nothing hurtful about this escalation and…

Maybe this was just the revenge she had needed about, the one for having to wear that cumbersome dress at school just a couple of days ago about-

…

Her giggles interrupted shortly after, her mind rebooting for a moment as she thought back about something that she had ignored up until now that was related to her appearance.

Kuro von Einzbern was a student known in Homurahara with white-pink hair and tanned skin.

But now she had black hair and white skin… which would in turn translate into something she was immensely happy about and that Shinji couldn't do anything about.

She can't go to school like this, because it would spark some unwanted suspicion.

And mixed wit the present amusement of seeing the young Matou forced in that irritating circumstance, Kuro's laughs resumed with a never reason to be happy.

But much to her immense chagrin, there were other means to have her keeping studying even at home.

~Shinji's POV~

After what I was quick to label as 'the last time I will trust Ruby about special transformations' concluded with me promptly turning back to normal and with the Kaleidostick promptly ignored for the remainder of the day, I decided to focus my attention back to serious predicaments that I had to fully assess on a personal degree.

Luvia had followed my advice to summon on her own the Heroic Spirits contained within the Saber Card born from that unplanned trip to the Heaven Feel Route I had just two days earlier, the results seeing me a little perplexed and surprised.

Arthur Pendragon from the Protoverse was someone that could be seen as 'more mature' than Artoria, starting by the means that saw him relinquish his dream of reshaping history to 'save Britain' from the horrors that afflicted it during and after his passing.

Yesterday's dinner had been quite the tense one between Salter and her genderbent, 'purer' version as the Tyrant saw the good-hearted king as a reminder of what her opposite once represented.

Yet, instead of seeing despair, sadness, and the same degree of self-disappointment at having failed his subject that the yellow-eyed lady had expected to see embedded in his face, Arthur actually seemed to have long overcome his own issues and made steps toward improving from his own mistakes.

It was a surprise for sure for Artoria, one that opened to endless 'what-ifs' in her minds that kept her in a state of ominous silence. I had restrained myself from intervening over the matter, preferring to first gauge her proper reaction instead of ending up worsening her current state of mind.

So, once I was done with that crap Ruby had put me through, I decided to spend some time properly discussing with Artoria.

It was easy to see that the Tyrant had already understood what kind of topics I wanted to talk with her about by the way she flinched at the tone I had adopted while starting the conversation.

I was hopeful, despite the clear signs of reluctance, that something could have been done from that point, and so we took a brief walk around the castle to privately discuss of this.

At first there was silence, with none of the two being willing to begin what was going to be quite the grueling conversation for sure.

Yet, there was a reason why Artoria is defined one of the bravest Servants.

"Shinji, I've no quarrel with Arthur," The blonde admitted in a moment of genuineness.

"I'm aware of that," I politely agreed at her words, nodding before continuing. "But I also understand that it isn't something about a grudge or anything properly directed at him."

She hummed. "And you think you know what is it?"

"Maybe?" I shrugged a little while rebuking at that calm inquire, causing her to deflate a little. "I think it's something you yourself should be aware about. After all, you aren't 'much' different from a certain 'rice-obsessed foreigner'."

The wording was crappy, but the resulting blush made it clear that I did succeed with the playful jab.

"That's… that's a low blow," The girl huffed with brief annoyance. "But I assume you are trying to mention about my foolish dream of 'saving' my country."

I nodded. "Every good ruler put their respective nation up in the highest of pedestals… but perhaps they also forget that the nation itself isn't just a name."

She deflated even more at my words. "The people revolted against me because I hadn't brought them the heavens. They demanded too much."

"Is that so?" I asked with a hint of surprise and confusion. "I thought your reign came down when you failed to take into account that there were other cities other than Camelot."

Artoria paused for a moment, prompting me to take a pause in my own steps.

"History is largely corrupted by the anger of the victors, for their victory was a hollow one," She admitted with a sigh.

"Mordred, albeit regarded the claimant to the throne, was just the puppet of some disgruntled noble," The young woman continued to explain. "She wasn't meant to become a King the moment she failed to recognize that she was drunk with the desire of power and that the burden of kingship was nothing to trifle with."

I nodded at her words. "But perhaps you missed a couple of details about the matter that… actually don't match up with your idea of Mordred."

…

"What?" The blonde's full attention was now onto me.

"I've known Mordred for many years during her stay in Camelot, her brash nature and stubborn aggressiveness were signs of-"

"Someone that had been lacking guidance from the very beginning," I interjected calmly at her attempt to push back my efforts. "You had Sir Kay, you had Merlin, you had people believing you. Do you know how many people believed in Mordred? How many truly cared for her being… herself?"

"Morgan was her mother. Why wouldn't she show her care if she wanted her main weapon against me to be primed to be used?"

"Gawain, Agravain, Gareth, and Gaheris," I listed quickly, drawing a confused look from her. "They were all her children, yet she never cursed them when they joined you."

"And what does this have to do with Mordred?"

"Mordred wasn't truly her daughter," I hummed with a little grimace, ignoring her frown over the sentence. "Half-human, half-homunculi. The product of years of desperate efforts wasted in bringing you down. To her, Mordred was a pet, a tool, and never a child of hers."

"You make it sounds as if her plea to become my heir were-"

"I think," I interrupted her as I wasn't done yet. "That Mordred didn't really want that blasted crown. She wanted you to call her your child. She wanted to have someone that cared, and why not the very king that is actually her biological parent and a good king?"

"She would have still become my heir," Artoria commented back. "Rebellions would have tried to reach out for her and-"

"She would have rebutted them because she would have been too loyal to her father," I snorted, taking a moment to stop once again in our walk. "You underestimate Mordred's loyalty-"

"And you think you are not overestimating it?" The blonde groaned with some anger. "She betrayed me, she trusted herself over to some thugs of men and women, and then killed me."

I closed my eyes. "She killed the King, she never killed Artoria."

…

"What?"

"When Mordred fought you, she did it against the idea of Kingship you had," I replied with a drained tone. "In her mind, the only way to gain your praise, to gain your forgiveness, it's to prove that you are wrong about it all."

There was more silence, the Tyrant thought well about my words and sighed. "I feel like this isn't over yet."

"I actually have a genuine question, something that has driven me quite mad to be fair."

"Then please, do tell," She huffed, her annoyance having long diminished to nothing.

"What if, and I say 'what if', you had called her your child?" I finally asked. "What if, despite the burden of the crowd, despite Merlin telling you not, you had actually done that?"

…

"I think… I don't have an answer to that," The blonde admitted with a defeated sigh. "Back then, my worry made me unable to decide on my own, driving me to seek guidance from Merlin over the matter. After what had happened with Lancelot… many things just sounded so difficult to think about without doubting myself."

I sighed at this confession, my eyes turning up at her unfocused orbs and… I shrugged.

"I guess that's been quite the mess," I concluded with a nod. "But still, there is nothing that can change now that it's been so long."

…

"You should apologize to Mordred if we end up meeting her somehow," I muttered again, causing her attention to be brought back to me once again. "She would have to do that too, mind you. In my opinion, the fault is shared between parent and child."

She gave a calm nod at this, accepting my words as the truth over this case and… I felt my lips twitch for a moment, feinting for a smile at a new thought.

"Also, there is something about Merlin that I've always wanted to ask either you or your other self."

She blinked, her confused and intrigued look would soon become one of eternal fluster at the little diversion back to a more 'amusing' topic.

Let's just say that I learned a little more about Artoria's botched efforts to make an heir than I had intended to.

After I was done with the Tyrant, lunch ended up being a smooth but peaceful affair, with Arthur ending up having to deal with some teasing from his counterpart over some stories about his 'more playful' Merlin.

It didn't matter the gender, the Meme-lin was still a Memester beyond space and time.

Once we were done with the food, I found myself sitting by the couch with Kuro and from there some odd circumstances ensued.

The girl was happily leaning her face on one of the big pillows present there, hugging it close to her chest while resting a little bit in the comfy couch.

I stared at her for a while, curious to understand why seemed that much happy about sitting there.

My attention was also diverted to look at her black hair. The more I continued to stare at those, the more I was being reminded that she just looked like what Illya would have if the Einzberns hadn't made sure that their traits were the ones to be dominants in the girl's appearance.

Luvia had retreated away to talk some more with Arthur, both having surprisingly hit it off pretty well as the young man had decided to tell her more about the stories about his kingdom.

Gil was currently napping by one of the other couches, showing once more that his younger self was far eager in finding time to actually enjoy some resting once in a while.

Artoria was still sitting on the floor, her eyes staring quietly at the fire coming from the fireplace.

"So," I muttered calmly while still looking at the young Einzbern. "How does it feel to not be dependent to the Archer Card?"

Red eyes blinked open at the query, and soon Chloe was staring at me with a lazy look.

"Much better than I thought it to be," She admitted easily. "In fact, I'm happy that now I'm… kind of free from it."

"I suppose it's kind of relieving-"

"I still have their memories," The girl continued, ignoring my words. "But everything is just more… ordered. There is no conflict, just harmony."

I blinked at that comment, a little surprised that Archer's memories had still survived the spell despite the lack of influence from the card.

"All of the memories or just part of them?"

"All. I've glimpses about… Shirou's life," Kuro replied with some hesitation, trying to keep her tone quiet as to not alarm Artoria about the matter. "And I've seen some bits about… your other selves."

I blinked. "I'm fairly sure that a large majority were outright douches, there is no need to-"

"I know why he still tried."

…What?

"Even though there were signs that the other Shinjis were bad people since the very beginning," Chloe continued to explain. "He still tried to… do something about it."

I tensed up a little at this as… I was unaware of any unique reasoning behind Shirou's interest in helping Shinji.

It always seemed to be all part of the redhead's overall kindness and heroic sense directed at mostly everyone.

"Ant the reason is?"

Kuro sighed. "He… they were friends much before the Fourth Holy Grail War," The girl replied with some hesitation. "Shirou could remember his face, his name and… the eagerness to always met at the park on a daily basis."

There was some silence after that, no continuation to this reply and I sighed as I knew what she was alluding to this.

"Don't tell me that when the War ended, Shinji thought that Shirou had ditched him."

"It seems to make sense and..." Chloe huffed. "Actually, why don't you know about this? I thought that-"

"I've never been able to leave the proximity of my home back from where I come," I interjected with a tired sigh, my mind bringing up a fresh batch of nightmares about it. "Zouken was distrustful of already leaving me around Fuyuki City even much before the beginning of the War. He feared that I could have gotten injured, or perhaps 'ridiculed' the clan."

So I was completely stomped by what she was just saying as I was fairly sure that the old worm had suspected nothing about my presence in his domain, and that there had been no reason to actively forbid me from pursuing some fun at the local park.

How did these Shinjis ended up doing so?

I pondered over it for some time, trying to find some clear answer to it instead of relying to theories… when I finally got a glimpse of how this was possible.

While I had done anything to warrant Zouken's wrath to disallow me from going outside the mansion, there was an individual I had shown distrust about from the very beginning and… he was the only person that could have gotten me to wander around if the relationship had been a little more warmer.

'Uncle' Kariya was someone I had mixed feelings about, starting from the fact that his genuineness about saving Sakura because she was Sakura looked… far-fetched. It sounded so fake.

It was no lie that the idiot aspired for the love of Sakura's former mother, even though Aoi Tohsaka had given him plenty of signs that she wasn't interested to him.

Like, it had been years now and he still try to creepily gain her attention.

I was half-tempted to write a letter to the woman, suggesting her to flipping the bird the next time she ended up meeting him instead of politely decline his advances.

If politeness can't into the mind of a 'nice guy', then the push needed to become a furious shove to make things as clear as a limpid sky.

"It's not important," I ultimately conceded with a hum, causing Kuro to give me a surprised look. "Despite what you might think… there were just some elements from the other Shinjis that just make them irredeemable."

"But why not? You managed to-"

"My mother died as food for worms, Kuro," I interjected sternly, making the girl tense up in a sudden chill at my words. "I was 4 when it happened and… I was shocked to death about that. Some versions of myself just accepted this, their minds just couldn't handle the fact that Zouken was a bastard, that my own father was a fucking drunk bastard and… and then I got Sakura."

…

"You think it's your fault for-"

"My mother's death? Never. I know that it was well beyond my means to act," I replied truthfully. "But Sakura is my younger sister and, while not by blood, I still consider her the closest thing to family. No one in the Matou Clan had ever received this much trust from me and… I can't just left her like that."

She blinked at my words and then… she smiled. "You will do it," Kuro replied with a hint of happiness. "I know that you can do that."

I was surprised by this degree of trust, but I nodded a little tiredly at her and… she hummed.

"You know, you should probably go and check on her," The young Einzbern pointed out with a nod. "I've heard from the maids assigned to her that she is feeling a little lonely."

I frowned at the comment and… I nodded back. "I suppose I will go and see her-" I paused just for a moment as I stood up. "And Kuro."

She glanced at my face and… I smiled at her. "Thank you."

A snort left her lips. "You're welcome, Shinji-kun."

I walked up to the door, opening it and leaving the living room to reach where Sakura's room was.

Blissfully unaware that Gil had woken up in the mean time, his red eyes staring at me leaving right up until I was away. Then he glanced at Artoria and… he sighed as he noticed a couple of tears falling off from her face.

To think that they were all broken somehow despite the best efforts to be fixed.

AN

Gotta love some Shinji's weakness moments once in a while… especially since he isn't a knight in shining armor, no matter how much he tries to appear as such.

His very flaws are what make him relatable to many within the Nasuverse, but also render his job of helping people difficult because he himself has his own issues to deal with. And hugs can do just so much…

Next chapter, there will be some 'action'. Expect some comedic scenes alright.

P a treon . com (slash) socialistbukharin

k o-fi . com (slash) justbukharin

REVIEW Q&A!

Runelt99: But the thing is that there will be a couple of moments where Shinji is going to fail. Like, the HF scenario is actually not as complete as he assumes it to be, in fact his intervention might have worsened things up for him if he ends up reaching it. Plus there is going to be a couple of scenarios beyond Shinji's understanding, because those happens before or even 'after' certain known events happen.

LukeSky001: It was the other Saber Card born from the little HF detour. Caster card is still safe and sound in Shinji's hands.