Daryl and I laid together on my bed, our bed now, limbs entwined. My head on his chest, I could feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. Hearing it thump against my ear I was beginning to doze off. His hand was running lightly up and down my arm, and I smiled when I felt him pull the blanket up over us.

I felt him sigh above me and kiss the hair at the top of my head. His arms tightened around me and he held me like he wouldn't be anchored to the earth without me. I felt the same about him and it scared me to death. I'd thought what I felt for him was lust, pure and simple. It wasn't. Not even close. When we finally joined together, when I had the flash of being home, that proved that I'd lost my heart. Finally.

A secret that no one knew about me, not Negan, not my own family, was that I had been determined to never fall in love. While I flirted with what might have happened if the world hadn't gone to shit over night, I knew without a shadow of a doubt, that I wouldn't have fallen in love with Negan. Probably with anyone.

With Daryl, I felt like I was safe. Not safe from the dead, not safe from the violence of the world. Safe to fall. Safe to let myself feel. To lose control and not feel like I was spinning too wildly to come back to earth. If he felt anchored by me, then the same could be said for me toward him. I was terrified. How did it happen so quickly? I didn't think I believed in love at first sight. Destiny or fate? No, that didn't exist. If it did, then why would it happen NOW? Everything was insane and horrible.

I heard his breathing even out and knew he was sleeping. The urge to follow him to dreamland was strong, but I was still so frightened. I barely knew Daryl Dixon. I'd known Negan for a lifetime comparatively. If I was supposed to feel this way, shouldn't Negan have been the one to reap the rewards.

I sighed and snuggled as deeply as I could into Daryl's embrace. His arms tightened, even in sleep he was comforting me. This man, whoever he turned out to be, was my life now. And he barely scratched the surface of me. I struggled to fight the need for rest, wanting to puzzle out this new reality, but I couldn't and soon I fell into dreams of a life where the world wasn't crazy.

I woke when Daryl's stomach rumbled against me. Chuckling I looked up to his amused face. "Sorry." He whispered, his hands combing through my tangled curls gently. "Didn't wanna wake you. Looked so peaceful curled up on me."

I smiled up at him and rose a bit to press a light kiss to his lips. He tried to pull me in for a deeper kiss, but I shook my head. "Can't have my man hungry and losing energy, can I? Besides, I think it's time for your medicine." He rolled his eyes, but released me.

I rolled over to get off the bed, and felt his eyes on my naked form. "I'll take the damn pills, but only if I get a reward." His voice was husky, and I didn't dare make eye contact. I knew if I saw the need and want in his eyes, the pills would be forgotten by the both of us.

"You'll take the damn pills AND eat, then we'll discuss rewards." I tossed back, grabbing the bottle and a few bottles of water. "What do you want to eat, Daryl?"

I didn't hear him approach me, the silence that he moved with made that impossible, so when his arms encircled me from behind and he leaned into my neck to whisper against my hair I had to fight myself from jumping. "What do I wanna eat?" His calloused fingers swiped my hair out of the way. "I think I have a taste for-" His other hand was slowly making its way down my stomach.

I turned around to face him and tried to glare. "You need FOOD, Daryl, and while what you have in mind is," I gave a shiver of longing, "amazing. Food and medication first, please?" His eyes were looking at my mouth, but I didn't think he was listening to the words. "Daryl, baby, please?"

"Fuck, when ya beg me, Jessa." He moaned, yanking me into his own bare skin. His lips claimed mine, and I felt fire flare up between us. I could feel him growing hard against me, but something in me knew we needed to stop, even though every part of me wanted to die rather than pull from him.

Coming up for air, I looked into his eyes. Jesus, he would be my undoing. "Daryl, pills." I whispered, wishing that I could toss them into his mouth and forget the rest of the world forever. "And food," I sighed, feeling my own growling stomach protest against me.

His forehead pressed against mine. "You're hungry, too, huh?" He smiled at me and seemed as reluctant to pull away as I was. "Let's forage in the fridge there and grab something to take back to bed."

I tingle all over from the mere thought of not having to wait after food for him. I handed him his pills, and a bottle of water. "Take two, and I'll read you the menu." I turned from him as he chuckled. I ran through our options again, and this time we chose a few things and before I could take two steps toward the bed with my bundle, he scooped me into his arms. I squealed and he chuckled again.

"This is faster," he said, setting me down carefully on the bed. "Let's eat, so I can have my gold star." He sat down at the foot of the bed, leaving room for my haul.

I giggled at that. Good lord, who knew he'd be so playful? I'd felt his scars, the ones on his back felt horrible. Someone with that type of trauma, someone who had watched a man he knew die in front of him not days earlier, how could he be so light and wonderful? How had he kept such a moral code?

We ate in silence, feeling the gnawing in our stomachs calm down. Water felt more refreshing than either of us would admit. Once all evidence of the meal was gone, he looked at me with eager eyes and I gave a little chuckle. "You can't possibly still be hungry." I said, watching as his eyes turned predatory. He crawled up the bed and I lay back. He looked very hungry. I bit my lip when he was hovering over me, holding all his weight on those arms of his.

"I'm starvin'," he growled, leaning forward and flicking his tongue against my lower lip. "Let me have a lil taste."

I gasped at the feeling and the look in his eyes. He took the open invitation and we came together again. Our mouths collided and it felt completely right. I rolled him over on his back as we kept our lips together. If Daryl wanted a reward for taking his medication and eating, then I was damn sure going to give it to him.

I pulled away, looking into his need darkened eyes, and smiled at him. His eyes watched me as I dipped my head and kissed down his neck, flicking my tongue against his Adam's apple. I felt him swallow hard against my tongue, and continued down nipping at his collarbone, feeling him shiver. I took my time, this may be his reward, but it was also a promise I'd made to myself when I took a similar trip with my fingertips.

When I licked his hard nipple, his hands finally found my hair, and he smoothed it back from my face so he could watch my progress easier. I nipped the hard bud, and he moaned. I looked up into his eyes and saw that he was biting his lip to keep himself quiet. One day, I thought, I would find a place where the two of us wouldn't have to keep quiet. I wanted to hear him screaming my name and I wanted to be able to be as loud as he made me want to be.

"Looks like you like a little pain too, Daryl." I whispered against his sensitive and wet nipple. I flicked my tongue against it and waited to see if he would answer me, but the only answer I got was his clamping a hand against my head, and another gasp. I smirked and kept going. The other nipple received the same attention, being fair minded as I could be. Satisfied that I'd kept everything even, I kissed lower, chuckling against his skin as I felt his muscles contract at my touch. Flicking my tongue against his smooth abdomen, I settled myself between his legs, carefully not touching the one part of him that we both wanted me to. I licked lightly down one side of his perfectly sharp v in his hip and finally looked back up at him.

He was breathing heavily, but his eyes were still on me. Locking my eyes on him just like he'd done to me, I smiled as I licked my lips. "Ready for your 'gold star', baby?" I asked. His eyes were blown wide with lust and need, but his voice seemed gone. I got a shaky nod, and smiled. My hand encircled him at his base while my mouth lowered. I flicked my tongue gently against the spongy head, tasting his skin and enjoying the saltiness. Giving a gentle hum, I opened wider and took him in, sucking down and sliding back up. His hands in my hair, against my scalp felt like he was holding back from what he really wanted to do, so I pulled off him with a small pop. "Daryl?" He was staring so hard into my eyes I felt like he could see everything. "This is your reward, remember?" His breath hissed, and I could tell he understood. I opened my mouth again to envelop him and his hands pressed me forward, taking more of him, and I let him use my mouth as he saw fit. He wasn't harsh, I wouldn't even call it 'face fucking', it was simply letting him show me how he wanted me to please him.

I brought my hand along to play, stroking him as I sucked, and felt him stiffen under me. Ah, he wanted to feel EVERYTHING. Letting my other hand drift to his sensitive sack, and gently rolling against him, I knew he was in heaven because he was having more trouble breathing easily. Two hands and my mouth working him, with his hands leading me along the path he most wanted, I felt him start to surge. I pulled back only long enough to give him a bit of verbal reinforcement. "Come on, baby, don't hold back now." And swallowed him again, soon the tempo he picked became erratic, and I felt his sack tighten. Prepared for what was about to happen, I pulled back slightly, choking wouldn't be great for an ending. And I took everything he gave me, every ounce. I swallowed it and kept licking until I felt him grow soft in my mouth.

I pulled off him reluctantly. Making him as happy as he'd made me, I never wanted that to end. Hell, if we could play Adam and Eve forever, laying naked in this room that really would be heaven. I leaned forward a bit and lay my head on his stomach, just like he'd done for me. I felt content and if I had been a cat, I might have purred. Daryl's fingers were still tangled in my hair, but he was now just running his fingers through the knots in my curls.

Daryl's voice was quiet when he begged me to look at him. I looked up, my content smile evident and his smile was equally blissful. "You're beautiful, Jessa." He whispered, his smile holding and almost wistful. "If I didn't have people who depended on me out there," he poked his chin toward the door, "I'd happily die right here wrapped up in you." I sighed, I knew he'd eventually get to the heart of it. Why this, us, couldn't work.

I nodded against his stomach. My eyes stung, I was holding back my tears, refusing to see how much it hurt to know he'd pick people I didn't know over me. I knew he'd spent a lifetime with those people, people he hadn't discussed with me, but I also knew that he felt what I had felt during our first time.

I didn't feel the tear slide down my cheek, but he saw it, because I felt the pad of his thumb brush it away. "Hey, don't cry." He pulled me up to him and held me against his chest. "I don't mean I don't want to take ya with me, woman." He held me tight to him as I cried harder. "Didn't I say you weren't gonna be his QUEEN anymore?" I tried to reign in my angst as I listened to him. "I wanna take ya with me, Jessa. I wanna have a life with ya in our community." His lips grazed my head and he held me as I listened to him. "You'll love Alexandria. It's as peaceful as it can be during this shit, and my people will love ya."

I gave an indignant snort. I lifted my head and propped myself up on with my chin on his chest to look at him. "I'm Negan's QUEEN, Daryl. Your people hate him, they'll want to kill me." I knew I was right, even if Daryl and I managed to get away, his people had to want Negan dead, and if they were smart, then they'd see me as a way to make him suffer.

Daryl sighed. "Won't let 'em." He said, tightening his arms around me. "I want ya forever, and if it comes to them or you, it's you." I could hear the pain in his voice at the mere thought of such a choice and wanted to talk him out of it, but as he had since the beginning, he read me perfectly. "Don't say I ain't gonna choose you, Jessa. I told ya, I knew before I touched ya I'd want to die inside ya, and I still mean that. In Alexandria, or somewhere else, don't matter to me. You and me, together, that's what my choice is. Not here, though."

I considered what he was saying. Could we leave here? Could we be free of Negan and his rules and minions? Would I be able to actually breathe outside without seeing people try to curry favor or learn the way to Negan's good graces? I couldn't bear the thought of hoping. Hoping and then being unable to make it happen would destroy me. Not being with Daryl after one day of passion-unthinkable to me.

Strangely saying goodbye to Negan gave me no pause. Leaving him, and his mess of ideas and goals behind, knowing that I would never have to wonder how much of what he gave me was due to aftection or fear of what I knew about him sounded like a pipe dream. A pipe dream that I'd give my last breath to see.

It was madness, utter and complete idiocy, though wasn't it? To fall this quick and so hard, with a man I barely even knew. Thinking about how long I'd known Negan, and how it turned from an affair to this, made me wonder if that's why this was different. Knowing everything about Negan made me dangerous to him. Knowing nothing about Daryl made it simple. He'd barely scratched my surface either. What if we left and he realized that I was nothing like what he'd expected.

"We barely know one another, Daryl Dixon." I said, moving so I was lying beside him and turned to face him. "How do you know for sure I'm worth taking along?" I asked, wondering truly what he wanted from me. There was a fear blooming in my chest. A fear I was hoping he'd quench.

"Don't see yourself any better than ya say I see me." He said, turning to face me. "Everythang you've done for me, since I got here and met ya. I don't care why Negan gave me to ya, Jessa. Ya saw me hurtin' and ya sent straight for the doctor. Ya threatened Negan for me. Ya threatened his people for me." He cupped my face in his hand and stared at me like he'd never seen anything so amazing. "I don't give a shit what you and Negan HAD. I don't care about what hold ya have on him. I want you like I've never wanted nothin'."

The fear that I felt clutching at my chest was lightened at his explanation. He didn't expect me to tell him what power I held over Negan. He didn't care. He wanted me. Me for me.

"My people would find your skills useful." Daryl said, smoothing the worry from around my eyes with his thumb. "I mean the skills with knowing people. What they are, how they work. Like how ya knew I was a hunter and tracker." He smiled at me. "If ya want, we don't have to tell 'em bout you and Negan. Not like Dwight will be welcome back home anyway."

I cleared my throat, considering the options. How would we manage it? I didn't want to escape. That wouldn't do. Negan would destroy the world if I just disappeared. Could I negotiate our release? Could I convince him to just let Daryl and me go? He wanted us both, he felt he had a right to both of us. What could I do to convince him?

"Can almost smell them gears turnin' in your head, girl." He whispered, pulling me to him for a brief kiss. "If ya don't want me, let me know and I'll stop pressurin' ya." God, he was seeing the gears turn, but hadn't a clue about what they were turnin' for.

"I want you, Daryl Dixon, more than even Negan wants you for his Saviors." I answered, clutching at his shoulders. "I just don't think an escape is the way to do this." I saw his brows furrowed in confusion. "If I escape with you, he'll tear apart your community first. He'll make everyone think that you TOOK me, against my will. He'll make you a target. And all those people that depend on you will be in danger." I cupped his chin and smoothed my own thumbs across his lips. "I was trying to decide how to make it worth his while to let us go."

"Let us go?" Daryl whispered, clearly thinking that was madness. "You're his QUEEN, Jessa. He'd lose face. His ego ain't gonna let that happen."

"Which is why I'm trying to work out how to make our leaving make more sense, than us disappearing." I said, still working through a plan in my head. "I know I can figure this out, Daryl. I want the picture of the future you're painting, I do, but escape isn't going to work. You get that right?"

He chewed his lip in thought. "I saw ya turn him around earlier." He nodded, thinking too. "If anyone could get that dickhead to change his damn mind, it'd be you."