Philia part XIII

'Ok, we need to do something about your parents.' Said Dick making a highly unnecessary handstand next to the girls as they were sitting on the grass having lunch on recess.

'What you mean?' Asked Helena wondering why couldn't he just sit and eat like a human person.

'I mean you mother is the coolest, the other day she showed me how to do a Thomas Salto, that is banned in Olympic competitions! And you dad got it hard.'

'Do you think so? I mean about my dad, I know my mom is cool.'

'Yes! Trust me I know these things.'

Babs wasn't very convinced.

'How can you be so sure?'

'Oh please, see how they look at each other!' He said with a superior air. Barbara Lee snorted.

'Ohmigosh! Really? You see it too? I thought I was just wishing really hard!'

'Lena…' Babs started with caution. 'Dick barely know your parents and since when you are a relationship expert?'

The almost-siblings completely ignored Barbara Lee.

'And when they get married you can live with us, and it will be easier to decide once for all who is the truly prankster master!'

Babs blinked in disbelief.

'You want Helena's parents to get married because of your prank competition? I'm at loss with words.'

'Oh, but it would be so nice!' Exclaimed Helena looking terribly like an excited Disney character of the Golden Age.

'Are you sure you're not really blood related? Your madness resemble each other so well, it's uncanny.'

They continued ignoring her.

'What should we do?'

'I don't know, I'm not good planning things, I'm a man of action!'

They both looked at Babs.

'What?'

'You are an evil genius, Babs.' Said Helena, her huge green eyes glistening. 'You can help.'

'I am no such thing!'

'Please…You gave me the idea to drug Holly.'

'I said that joking! I had no idea you'd actually do it!'

'Help me Babs, help me, I'll owe you forever!' Pleaded Helena dramatically.

Barbara Lee sighed defeated.

'Fine. I'll think of something.'

ooo

'I have never heard a worse idea and I raised your father. I should know.'

'Come on, Alfie! Help us!'

'You're always saying that B should get his life together, what better way than that?'

'In my experience? Plenty others. If I learnt something all those years was to never try to meddle with your parents' relationship, Miss Helena. And you Master Richard should stay away from other people's business. It's unbecoming.'

'Awwn…' Helena pouted, doing her kitty eyes to Alfred. 'Can you at least tell us about how they used to be when they were together?'

'I do not believe it would do you any good, Miss.'

'Please, Alfie…'

'Alright. But only one of such stories. Master Bruce and Miss Kyle had their first date here in this kitchen… Well, not in this kitchen but the one we had in the old house. He asked me to teach him how to make a whole meal from scratch to impress her. I thought he would make a huge mess, but we find out your father is a natural cook. He even baked a chocolate cake.'

'B can cook? I don't believe it!' Said Dick trying to do steal a scone from the plate where they were cooling and giving up when Alfred gave him a nasty look.

'When Miss Kyle got here it was almost morning and Master Bruce was heartbroken.'

'Noooo!' Cried Helena deeply invested in the story.

'They made up, I reckon. They had their date, when she finally appeared, and all was well.'

'A happy ending!'

'Indeed, Miss.'

'What happened after?' Asked Dick.

'I promised you just one story. Now, off you go the both of you. I have chores to do.'

ooo

It took them two weeks to plot the perfect plan. And a lot of Barbara Lee's mothers' help.

Barbara Lee who happened to be very good at computers and everything electronic helped Helena to hack Alfred's cell phone – that she "borrowed" for a while – to learn his schedule. Dick provided distraction during the operation breaking something which was not very suspicious because he was always breaking something. Then, Babs had to convince Lee to invite Alfred, Lucius and Bruce to a dinner party at her dad's and that had to happen in one of the days Bruce got to be with Helena, so he would have to decline. But then, Lee would have to tell Selina about the dinner party, and be very sorry about Bruce not coming, and the after the men arrived Babs was supposed to borrow, Helena style, Alfred's phone and send a message to Selina asking her to babysit so Bruce could go to the dinner party too. And she accepted because one week before Barbara senior called Selina faking an emotional breakdown and Selina asked Bruce to take Helena even though it was not one of his nights to stay with the child. Meanwhile, Lee called Bruce and told him that the dinner party was cancelled because she was not feeling very well, but that would not be truth at all. Butlerless and at home with a very hungry Dick that begged for proof that he could really cook as Alfred had told him he could, Bruce was conned into making a full diner with chocolate cake as desert. By the time the food was ready, Selina and Helena arrived.

Bruce was finishing icing the cake when Dick announced Helena's and Selina's arrival.

'Goodnight.' Greeted Bruce with a confused face. He was still wearing his apron, detail that Selina didn't miss by her amused expression.

'You're free to go. Alfred asked me to take care of them tonight. You could've asked yourself, you know?'

'What are you talking about?'

'The dinner at Gordon's?'

'But Lee said it was cancelled.'

Selina e Bruce exchanged confused and suspicious looks.

'What Jeeves is trying to pull at?' Then Selina turned to the kids. 'Do you know anything?' Dick went beet read, but Helena just smiled and gave her "I am not guilty at all mommy" face that just meant the complete opposite of that.

Selina took a deep breath.

'Let's go back, Helena.'

'No mommy, no please! Let's stay just a bit at least. Since we made all way to here.'

'By all means, stay.' Offered Bruce. 'You can have dinner with us. I've made cake.'

'Well, if there is cake…' Said Selina dramatically.

Dick and Helena shared a grin.

'And Dick promised me to show his new computer game, didn't you, Dick?'

'Oh y-yeah.' Helena gave him a mortified look, that boy had to learn to lie better. 'Let's go, Lena.'

'Hey, what about dinner?'

'Well be back soon, daddy!'

And the children run away giggling.

Selina sat at the table.

'Do you think it's happening what I think it's happening?'

Still icing the cake, Bruce lift his gaze to her and gave Selina a tiny smile.

'Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.' He quoted.

'Well, the kids pulling at a "Parent Trap" on us is far from impossible.'

'Parent Trap?'

'Famous Disney movie?'

'Didn't watch a lot of them growing up.'

'No… You were reading giant books written by depressed Russians or something.'

He gave her an amused look, Selina poured herself a glass of water to drown the stupid insects in her stomach.

'Didn't expect you to be a Disney fan either.'

'Well, I never cared about Disney when I was a kid because… You know. But then I had kid. You have no idea of how many times Helena made me watch Lilo and Stitch. And you know what it's worse? I think it's damn good movie.'

'So that's what you did all these year, catch up with kid's classics?' His hair was falling in his eyes as he leaned forward to work on the cake, it was one of the rare days in which he didn't put any product in it, letting the soft curls fall freely, it made her think of when he was a child when they first met.

'Among other things, raising a kid isn't just movie nights and cute social media photos, but I think you've already found that out. The real mystery is what have you been doing all this time?'

Satisfied with his work, Bruce went to the sink to wash his hands, then he took off the apron and folded it, Selina looked away when the memories of one night in which he drove her crazy by insisting in folding each piece of clothing removed from her filled her thoughts. Bruce sat across the table and rested his chin on his hand, looking at her with a peaceful expression that she couldn't unveil.

'Do you really want to know?'

'If as asked… But you don't have to tell me if you don't.'

'No… It's fine. In the beginning I just wanted to not be Bruce Wayne anymore. Here in Gotham I could never do this, remember when we lived in the streets? All I needed was to call Alfred and nothing changed. In the streets people were less cruel to me because they knew who I was, you knew who I was and you protected me. I had to learn how was to live without that safety net and I did that for a while, so I went to eastern Europe, to a country that spoke I language I didn't even know. I worked odd jobs, slept in the streets. Those were the hardest years, I wanted to come back so hard, but I didn't. It couldn't be all for nothing. I fell ill a few times, almost died, but eventually I learned to survive, that part of my research was done. Then started my training, I went to Asia for that, cliché I know, but effective...' Then he looked at the clock on the wall. 'Where are Helena and Dick? Food is getting cold.'

Selina came out from her trance.

'Oh, yes, the children.' She turned to look at the hallway. 'I don't think they're coming.' Selina said nonchalant.

'Hm?'

'They are doing the parent trap thing, Bruce.'

'But Dick didn't have dinner. Did you and Helena?'

'Nope.'

'Won't they be hungry?'

'Serve them right for tricking us. Now, I'm famished. Pass me that potato salad, it looks good.'

ooo

'We should spy on them.' Said Dick using his whole body to make his character on the screen jump from an obstacle to another. Helena found it funny, and told him dozen of times that he didn't need to do that, just press the button, but it was for no avail. Now she just made fun of him.

'They will see us.'

'Not if we be very careful.'

'You don't know how to be careful, Dick.'

'How dare you!' His character died.

'You know it's truth.'

'No, it isn't!'

'Yes, it is.'

'It isn't!' She paused the game.

'It is. Give me your phone.'

'For what?'

'Cause I still don't have one.'

He handed it to her.

'Hey Babs.' Greeted Helena facetiming her best friend.

'Hey, how is the plan going?' Barbara Lee was out of her usual ponytail and glasses to fancier glasses and curled hair, her party look.

'Smooth like Alfie's bald spot. And the dinner party?'

Babs rolled her eyes.

'They are annoying. They are all drunk and recalling the long lost past. I'm super bored. I might try to hack the CIA again or something.'

'Sorry to hear that Babs, but when they eventually fall asleep you can draw funny faces and then take pictures to use for leverage.'

'I knew there was a reason I kept you around, Kyle.'

The girls giggled.

'But I called you so we could have a third opinion.'

'On what?'

'Dickie here-'

'Don't call me that!'

'He want us to go downstairs to spy on mom and dad. I told him it's a bad idea because he can't keep quiet-'

'That's true, he can't.'

Helena burst into laughter.

'Hey! Give my phone back!' Helena ran still cackling madly as he chased her around the room.

'What? What is happening?' Asked Barbara confused by the sudden change.

'I called to ask you' Helena struggled to say 'if you think he knows how to be careful and you didn't even wait until I asked-'

Dick finally snatched the phone and ended the call. His face flaming hot. He had a little crush on Babs.

'That was rude.' Helena said trying to catch her breath back. The two of them lying on the huge bed with their arms and legs apart like two very red starfishes. 'I'm hungry.'

'Me too.'

'Do you have any snacks hidden?'

'No… Alfred found my stash.'

'Bummer.'

'We didn't think this through, did we?'

ooo

The plates were empty, they were on their second wine bottle and they didn't try to kill each other not even once. Who could have thought it was possible?

'You really outdone yourself, kid. I thought that tin can meal was your top, but this, this was amazing. It tasted just like when we were kids, even the scraped burnt parts… Or maybe I was really cheap back then.'

'Thank you.' He said with a chuckle. Then he studied her for a while as Selina liked the icing from her fork. 'Selina, please I don't want to offend you…'

'Then don't try to offend me?'

'Please? I need to ask you something.'

Selina sighed and drank the rest of the wine in her cup. Here it comes…

'Why do you do it? Really? I don't understand. You have a nice thing going on with the gallery and the charity organization. Why are you still a criminal?'

She refilled her cup, swinging the expensive red liquid as she thought. Bruce patiently waited for her answer.

'It's the only thing I'm really good at.'

'That's not true, look at Helena.'

She smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes.

'I had a lot of help with Helena. I'm not telling you it was easy. It really wasn't. When you left, I thought I was all alone, but that was far from the truth. Not just because of the baby, but because of the people around me, people I just came to know because of you… Alfred wanted to be part of Helena's life so hard that he put up with me all these years no matter how hard I pushed him away. Lee tried to give me one out and supported my choice when I decided to keep the baby. Barbara… Oh Barbara. She and Tabitha were the closest thing I ever had of having a real mother. And she is really good with Babs, you have no idea… Catwoman… is different. She is something I made all on my own. It might be selfish, but hey, not all of us want to risk our lives to solve all the world's problems.'

'I think you don't have to be a criminal to be proud of yourself. Even if you had all the help in the world it wouldn't change all you've accomplished. You are not even thirty yet and you have a kid in college, a career, and Helena wouldn't be the bright child she is without you.'

Despite his soft words she gave him a pain filled expression.

'I was so afraid I'd screw her up like my mother did to me.'

'You would never do that.'

'You don't know that.'

'I know you.'

Maybe it was the wine, maybe it was because how the air coming from the garden was sweetened with the honeysuckles in bloom, maybe it was how he was looking at her and how the familiarity of the situation was more intoxicating than all of that together. But Selina pushed herself from the table, walked around it, sat on Bruce's lap. She held a hand to his face, feeling the texture of his skin. It was a lot rougher than she remembered. Her lover used to be far too much of a boy. He was gone before she could say goodbye and she would always resent that. She traced his lower lip with her thumb. Bruce closed his eyes, his breath hitched.

Selina kissed him. And it was like the first sunny day after a lifetime of a never-ending rain of salty tears. Bruce opened his eyes and faced hers closed, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, all her too many freckles. Slowly as if he moved too fast or too much reality would dissolve, Bruce lift his hands to her hips, she was warm and he could feel it even through the fabric of her pants. She parted her lips deepening the kiss, he closed his eyes again, holding her tighter. Her hand slid to his hair, he could feel her nails on his scalp, her move was followed by goosebumps all over his body. The kiss became more urgent as they knew it was reaching its end. Bruce's hands slid from her hips to her waist, accidentally pushing the fabric of her shirt upwards and when he met skin it was so cathartic that Selina gasped for air ending the kiss prematurely. Her eyes was still closed, lids trembling when he opened his. He didn't want to let go, and felt a wave of relief when she dipped her head, letting it rest against his, foreheads touching.

'This also taste the same.' She took a deep breath. Opened her eyes, so clear, so green, so sad. 'Thank you for the meal, kid.'

And she left.

There you have it. The ending of Philia. Boy, it was so much longer than I thought that it would be lmao.

I have never written anything as convoluted as the kids' plan and I once wrote a Naruto fanfic that was a retelling of Arabian Nights but with evil magic creatures, period setting and sageuk drama tropes hahahaha. It probably doesn't even make sense, but I don't care. So you have it. The first BatCat kiss after a whole decade.

Next, this story will be a lot more focused in romance than the kids, but they still will cause trouble. The original plan was to wrap it up by chapter 20, but I was really unsatisfied with the ending I came up with. So, we'll have a little more time to develop BatCat a little better, which means more work for me… (insert sad Naruto song) JK I love writing this story, I was actually super bummed that the ending was so close.

Take care of yourselves and your loved ones. See you soon.