Chapter Twenty-Seven: Blast From The Past

"What are you doing here?" Bonnie asked, shocked to see her ex-boyfriend standing in her driveway.

"Surprising you. But the way it seems you are surprising me." Jeremy answered with a nod in Kai's direction. He was standing exactly in the same spot as a few seconds ago when he was embracing Bonnie in a comfortable hug. Kai's expression was emotionless; Bonnie couldn't read anything into it. If that was a good or a bad sign she couldn't tell.

"No, Jer. I mean what were you thinking coming here unannounced all the way from Virginia?" Bonnie had her gaze locked on Jeremy. He was standing there, his hair a little shorter than the last time she saw him. His arms were crossed over his chest and his eyes were stuck on Kai, glaring daggers at him.

"This visit is barely unannounced. I booked the plane weeks ago, remember? And if you had picked up any of my calls you would have gotten a reminder of that from me."

Something in Bonnie's brain clicked as she remembered that a few weeks before, when Elena and Caroline had visited, Jer had called to tell her he was coming to Portland in April. She had been so excited. But now that they had broken up and she hadn't talked to him since she never even gave it another thought. And even if she did she would have never figured that Jeremy would ever show up on her doorstep. They weren't together anymore and she had been under the impression that that was okay for both of them. But seeing Jeremy right now made her question that. Why would he come here?

"I should leave the two of you to talk." Kai said and made his way to his car when Bonnie stopped him by reaching out to his arm. It was a weird situation. Just a few moments ago she had been kissing him in her backyard and feeling some faint sways of butterfly wings in her stomach and now that her ex had shown up on her doorstep- the ex she had been crying over in his arms just a few weeks ago- had destroyed that entire moment. Of course he would flee from the scene.

"Kai-" Bonnie started, not really knowing what she wanted to say. She just wanted him to know that she had been sincere and that she had no idea this was going to happen.

"It's alright, Bon." Kai squeezed her hand and gave her a tired smile. "I get it."

She let him leave and watched him go to the car, feeling more confused than ever.

Jeremy was ignoring him when he passed him by and kept his gaze stuck on her. He hadn't moved an inch and by the way he was standing there she could see that he demanded an explanation for this scene. But why would she give him one? She didn't owe him anything. Sudden anger raged through her and she turned around on the spot leaving him behind exactly where he was.

She was about to slam the door shut when she heard him rush to her and put his body between the doorframe and the closing door.

"Bonnie, wait."

"Wait for what, Jer?" she yelled at him. "We broke up remember? I didn't really think you would come all the way to Portland to do… what exactly?" She was heading to the living room and he followed. Bonnie didn't face Jeremy, she didn't want to see the expression on his face right now.

"That's what I was trying to tell you over the phone, I am sorry, Bonnie. I am sorry about the things that I said to you that day and I am sorry that I treaded you so bad. You were right about everything and I was a complete jerk for not giving you what you deserve but I get it now. I am here to prove to you that I have changed. I want to earn another chance with you. I want you back, Bonnie." Jeremy put a lot of effort into his words but they failed to convince her. She had closed the chapter Jeremy Gilbert in her life once and for all and she thought that him being here wasn't going to change that.

But when she turned around to tell him there was no chance in hell they would ever get back together, she saw the hurt expression and the desperation in Jeremy's eyes. It was like someone had hit her with a stone. All the things she had felt for him came rushing to her mermory, only mixed with confusion and anger, but she couldn't deny that after all the time they had together, he still wasn't indifferent to him.

Bonnie let herself fall on the couch behind her not able to say anything. Jeremy took that as a sign to place himself next to her.

"You have a nice home." He said after minutes of silence.

"Yeah, thanks. You would have known about it if you had been here before." She tried to sound mad but she only managed to sound confused. Jeremy laughed.

"I know, another one of my mistakes." He reached for her hand but she wouldn't let him take it. "Bonnie, I know this isn't easy for you but I am sincere. I want to earn you back because I love you and all I am asking is that you give me the next two days to prove myself worthy of another chance. Unless… unless you already moved on."

He was referring to the hug he had walked in on between her and Kai. This whole thing had gotten more and more complicated. She needed to talk to someone that wasn't involved in all this. And she needed space form Jeremy.

"Jer-" she started and Jeremy got a little closer to her, not giving her enough space to breath properly. "I need to think about some things and I can't have you here for that."

"I understand." Jeremy said but made no move to leave.

She turned and looked at her former boyfriend. His face was so close and for the first time in her life she didn't feel comfortable having him so close to her.

"You can't stay here." She finally managed to say softly.

"I know. I am staying in a motel not far from here. I didn't think you were going to welcome me with open arms. I came prepared." His voice was equally soft and to her surprise he rose from his spot and made his way to the front door. Bonnie followed a few steps behind.

"So, will you call me tomorrow?" Jeremy asked before he opened the door.

"I have to clear my head first, Jer. I can't promise you anything."

"Okay, just… I just want to see you. Please, let's just talk."

Bonnie nodded and when Jeremy got out she quickly closed the door before her confused brain could think of any other dumb action that she would totally regret the next day.

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"Come again?" Caroline looked surprised.

"So Elena didn't mention anything to you either?" Bonnie asked. She had instantly skyped her best friend and told her about the surprising guest showing up on her front door.

"God no. You really think I would have kept that information from you? If I had known that Jeremy was going to bother you in Portland I'd have grabbed that piece of shit myself and tugged him to a chair or something."

Caroline's obvious dislike for Elena's little brother didn't surprise Bonnie anymore. She had made it clear that she wasn't too sad they had broken up and over the course of their relationship Caroline had voiced her concern multiple times. But still, Bonnie was relieved that Caroline hadn't known about this.

"You think Elena knew?" Bonnie looked to the ground, only whispering the words. Caroline kept quiet for some time.

"You think she did?" she asked in return.

"I don't know, Care. Over the past few months I was under the impression Elena was desperately trying to sugarcoat everything Jeremy did. She defended him all the time. I know I shouldn't think like this about her but I had the feeling she was more on his side then on mine and it wouldn't surprise me if she encouraged him to come here in the first place." Bonnie sighed. "I hate to say this but Elena is annoying me sometimes."

"Wow, now I have heard it all." Caroline laughed.

"What do you mean?"

"You? Telling me that Elena Gilbert is annoying you? You two were always thick as thieves. Always the same opinion, taking care of each other."

"Just because I say she annoys me doesn't mean I don't love her any less, Care."

"Yeah, I know, I know and I don't judge you for anything you just said. In fact I am a little proud of you, lately you are really voicing your thoughts and that's good. "

Bonnie smiled. She did feel better these days, more confident and more rooted in herself.

"What am I going to do with Jeremy now?" Bonnie asked after a while.

"Well, I have seen enough romantic comedies to know that it is always a huge ice breaker if one partner flies across the world in search of the other and I have been a fan of these scenarios since I was 10 but… with Jeremy in the role of the love-drunk fool? I just can't picture it. And I don't approve either. You know how I feel about your break-up; I don't need to tell you. But this isn't about me, it's about you. So you need to figure out if there are enough feelings for him left inside of you to believe him and give him another chance."

"Sounds so easy coming from you."

"Because it is, you just need to think about it. Do you still care about Jeremy?" Caroline's voice turned into interrogation mode.

"Yes." Bonnie hesitated and hated herself a little for admitting that she really did care about Jeremy, in what way was a whole other question.

"So, don't you have your answer then?"

Bonnie laughed. "This is so complicated, Care. You can't even imagine."

"Wait, is this about Jeremy being a douche all the time that makes you hesitate to give him another chance? Because you know, I thought that maybe you'd start off with something easy, like going to meet him and hear him out and not running back into his arms right away."

"It's not that, I am pretty sure I won't be giving him another chance but after all this time don't I at least owe it to him to hear him out? But that is not really why I'm hesitating."

"Then what is it?" Caroline asked impatiently, realizing that Bonnie had kept some crucial information from her to fully understand her dilemma.

Bonnie didn't say anything for a while but when she finally gathered enough courage to admit her feelings to someone else, and more importantly to herself, she swallowed and said one single word that was going to make Caroline understand. "Kai."

Caroline's eyes widened and her mouth opened until Bonnie though it would drop to the floor. "Oh my god. You and Kai?"

"It's not like that." Bonnie backtracked but it was too late Caroline was already fantasizing.

"Oooooh, I can totally see it. I was waiting for you to tell me you and Kai finally dropped the whole 'were just friends' act and finally act on that insane chemistry of yours."

"Care, it's really not what you think."

"No? Then fill me in."

"It's… it's…"

"Complicated? Yeah, heard that before. Spill Bonnie!"

"I don't know how I can explain it. I was sincere when I told you I had no feelings for him. But he has been such a good friend to me lately and so many things happened and he was so… vulnerable. I don't know how or when it happened and I don't know what it is exactly but we said that we would figure it out as it comes along. All I know is that I feel… good when I'm around him and something inside me jumps every time I see him and his eyes are sooooo beautiful." Bonnie could have gotten on and on but Caroline's expression made her come back to reality. "What?" she asked.

"My dear Bonnie, you are so screwed. You like him! You are about to fall for your childhood crush and it is kind of cute but with Jeremy showing up on the surface it makes it such a bad timing."

Bonnie sighed. "I don't want this, Care. I have sworn myself not to ever fall for him. He is the devil when it comes to things like emotions. I don't even know if he would ever be open for a relationship, when it comes to emotions he is like a locked door. I can't fall for someone like that. I can't."

"Oh honey, but you don't have a say in that." Caroline's smile was understanding and Bonnie was sure if she would be sitting next to her she'd hug her right now.

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Bonnie was sitting in the small café two blocks from her house. She used to come here with her mom every Sunday when they just moved to Portland. Over the years the café didn't change much and the people working here were always happy to see them coming back. To them Bonnie and Abby Bennett were part of the inventory. Bonnie had always felt comfortable in this place.

So it was the wisest choice for her to choose this place for her meeting with Jeremy. She had called him yesterday evening to tell him she would give him a chance to make his case, totally non-committal of course. She hoped that he would make this easy for her and be the jerk he had been the past few weeks but if not… she would need to find a way to let him down easy.

When Jeremy came through the door of the café he instantly spotted her sitting by the window. He quickly made his way to her and smiled.

"Hey Bonnie, I'm glad you called."

"Just to be clear, this right here, it is just talking. I want to hear what you have to say. This doesn't mean anything more." Her voice sounded a little colder as she anticipated it.

"I know, but I am still glad you give me a chance to express myself."

The waiter came to their table and Jeremy ordered a cappuccino. Bonnie had already ordered a coke but wanted to add a slice of cheese cake to that.

When he left Jeremy started to talk. "So, I was thinking. Since the day you told me we should break up I was furious. I didn't get what you said and only after I talked to Elena a while back I understood what your problem was and now… I get it, Bonnie. I get that you felt abandoned and left alone. I get that I treated you like crap and I am sorry for that. You deserve better than that and I promise you, the way that I have treated you does not reflect the way that I feel about you. I'm a jerk, I know that. But I can be better. I forgive you the whole kissing another guy thing; I see where you were coming from…"

"Hold there a second!" Bonnie interrupted Jeremy's monologue. "You see where I was coming from? You haven't even cared to ask for the whole story and frankly I don't owe it to you but I'm not gonna let you present me as the bad guy because I cheated on you. That is not what all this is about."

Jeremy looked at her with surprise. He wasn't used to this side of Bonnie, the side that spoke her mind. She had only recently unconverted it and she liked that new version of herself.

"Okay." Jeremy finally agreed. "But then let's talk about a way how we can make this right. I mean, I am here, I want to prove myself to you. What can I do?"

"Jer, it's not that easy. You can't come all the way to Portland and say some nice things and think that everything is going to be okay. It doesn't work like that. Our relationship is too broken to be fixed that easily."

"But… it can be fixed?" Jeremy asked hesitantly. The way he looked at her now, so hurt and fearful to actually lose her, the sad smile around his lips that reminded her of the guy she fell in love with in the beginning. She sighed. Why couldn't he just be a jerk?

"I… I don't know, and to be honest with you… a lot has changed since we broke up. I know it has only been a few weeks but I am different now, I feel different and I don't know if this version of Bonnie wants to be with you anymore."

That hurt. Bonnie could see it on Jeremy's face. But she had to say it. She couldn't very well pretend that yesterday and all the other days before with Kai didn't happen. She couldn't let Jeremy believe he had a real chance with her when she wasn't even sure if he would need to compete with someone else.

"Okay, I get it. I had to try. I should go." Jeremy got up from his chair and started to move towards the door. His face covered in pain. Not physical but emotional. Bonnie couldn't let him leave like this.

"Jer, wait." She grabbed his arm and turned him around to look at her. "I don't want us to part like this. My feelings are all over the place right now, but what I do know is, that even though we are not together you are still important to me. I didn't stop liking you just because we broke up."

Jeremy's face lighted up. She was giving him hope, hope she certainly wasn't gonna be able to maintain. But the guy standing in front of her meant so much to her for so long. She couldn't let him leave her life without trying to build some kind of understanding, maybe a friendship even.

Jeremy stepped closer to her and pressed his forehead to Bonnie's. Somehow this gesture felt strange to her, now that they weren't a couple anymore.

"Thank you, Bonnie." Jeremy whispered.

Bonnie pulled away from him and tried for an honest smile. "So I was thinking. Since I didn't expect you to show up here, I already made plans for this day." Bonnie said while they sat back down. "There is this football game tonight. It's kind of a big deal at the school because it is always fun to watch our school team loose. And after that there is a party. I know that football's not your thing but I was planning on going with Faye and the others. Maybe you wanna join us?"

Jeremy didn't even need a minute to consider. "Sure, Bonnie. I'll be there. And I am looking forward to it."

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When Bonnie arrived back home she went straight to her room and started to get ready for the game. She didn't want to dress up but she felt like she needed to. While she curled her hair, she dialed Faye's number and put it on speaker.

"If that isn't my favorite Bonnie! Your hopefully not calling to tell me that you'll bail tonight."

"Hey Faye. No I am actually getting ready right now. I'm calling you to inform you that I'll be attending with a plus one."

The other end stayed silent for a second, processing what Bonnie just said. "Wait? Who's the lucky guy and why am I only hearing about this now?"

"Because I didn't know he was going to be here until yesterday night. It's Jeremy."

"Wait, what?" Bonnie heard something break on the other end of the phone. Did Faye just break a glass?

"No, no, no Bonnie. Tell me this is not true. You're not getting back together with him, are you?"

"No. He just appeared on my front door yesterday, declaring that he wanted to fix things and when I talked to him earlier today I felt so bad for dumping. I'm trying to even this out, not to get back with him."

"Oh, come on girl use your brain. You were doing so good lately. And that was without the whole Jeremy drama. You really think he isn't going to try and wrap you back around his finger?"

"Hey, I said I wasn't going to take him back, I just want to see how we are doing the time he is here. I am going to run into him at some point in the future and I don't want it to get uncomfortable. I am not blindly going back to him. But… there is still a part of me that cares for him."

Faye sighed. "I get that, Bonnie. Just… be careful and don't do anything irrational. The guy can talk a lot about change and proving himself to you but you won't know until he is back in Mystic Falls if he can really live up to those promises. I am just worried, okay? And I actually thought that you might have moved on from him so this is kind of surprising."

Bonnie knew what Faye was talking about, or better WHO she was talking about, but she decided to leave that comment unnoticed. "It's surprising to me too, trust me."

When Faye and Bonnie talked about possible outfit choices for tonight and both decided on something worm rather than something short, due to the fresh air in the evenings, they determined a meeting spot and hung up.

Bonnie was done with her hair and wanted to do her make up when a thought popped into her head.

What if Kai was going to be at the game and he and Jeremy had a run-in. After yesterday, she felt like she owed Kai an explanation about why she was showing up with her ex-boyfriend. She tried to remember if she ever saw Kai at the game the past years, but back then they didn't have the same clique and Kai would be hanging out with the cool kids, or more likely not attend the game at all but spent the time hanging out somewhere near the field getting high.

A sudden nervousness about the evening came across her and she sat down and searched through her phone for Kai's number.

She breathed in and dialed his it. When the dial tone reached her ear she got more and more nervous. What was she going to tell him anyways? But luckily she didn't have to figure it out because after a minute Kai hadn't picked up yet. Confused Bonnie hung up. Normally he always took her calls. Maybe he was busy and wasn't going to attend the game. She decided to give him a head up via WhatsApp.

Hey Kai. Wanted to check if you were going to be at the game tonight. I'll probably be there with Faye, Connor, Liza, Perry and Jeremy. Maybe we'll see each other.

She included the named of everyone attending with her to make it sound less like a date.

Autor's note: Just a short update not to leave everyone hanging. I promise the next chapter will make up for this one.