Trying to be an Autobot

"Chapter 3: Welcome to the Base"

By Leah King

Starscream cursed for probably the thousandth time as he meticulously cleaned the tiny ledges and dirty spots that marred his living quarters. He'd always been a mech of high hygienic standards and though it pained him to do it he forced himself to clean everything by hand. Using a human mop like a Q-tip he found more and more unsatisfactory spots. If only he had a few spare parts and some tools. He could throw together a sanitation drone in no time. The Autobots were just too stubborn to build one for their own needs…or better yet HIS needs.

Just as he was getting close to satisfied with his task he heard the unmistakable thump of Prime's approach. He hurriedly shoved his cleaning supplies aside and stood up as if nothing had happened. Optimus slowly opened the door all the way to reveal he had a makeshift berth in tow.

He noted the quarters, "I see you have made use of the cleaning supplies."

Starscream frowned, "Yes, well, I think I can FINALLY put my feet on this floor now. Speaking of, where might the wash rooms be in your base? I'm feeling quite filthy." He suddenly looked apprehensive, "You DO have wash facilities don't you?"

"We Autobots have taken to using the car washes of this planet."

Starscream lowered his wings with dread, "So…that's a no?"

"There is a place where you can wash, yes." Optimus assured.

A sigh of relief escaped Starscream, "Then why didn't you just say so?"

Optimus didn't answer as he pulled the berth into the side of the room and then made a hand gesture to Starscream, "I will direct you to the wash rooms."

The Seeker slowly walked out of his quarters with Optimus behind him. Starscream glanced over his wing at the Prime then faced forward. Clever…Optimus didn't trust him to be behind him. How odd— he'd just thought how easy it would've been to ram his claws into the base of the Autobot leader's neck once his back was turned. Then again…Megatron had made it abundantly clear that no one would defeat Optimus but him so killing the Autobot Leader definitely wasn't the way to win back Megatron's favor. Then again, if he could earn Prime's favor…

"You know, I will be very useful to you Prime." Starscream said assuredly.

"Oh?"

The Seeker nodded, "Oh yes. With my knowledge of Decepticon tactics and agendas you shall certainly find me invaluable."

Prime would've rolled his optics if he was that type of mech but instead he said, "Any knowledge you could provide would be most appreciated."

As they walked, Starscream suddenly noted they would be passing through the central atrium of the base and from the voices he heard he knew the other Autobots were ahead. Starscream hated awkward situations and being paraded by those accusing optics wasn't something he relished. But, if he must pass he would pass by with all the dignity he could muster. He straightened his back, lifted his chin proudly, and flared his wings, posing with all the regality a bound Seeker could achieve as he rounded the corner. All blue optics turned his way once he appeared but Starscream didn't look back. He strode forward proudly, not looking anywhere but ahead.

And that's when everyone screamed at him.

Starscream recoiled, feeling a powerful hand grab the edge of his wing and yank him back.

"STOP!" Prime shouted with a firm hold on the Seeker's wing.

"WHAT?! WHAT?" Starscream shrieked in panic.

Prime seemed to calm himself as he released Starscream's wing, "Mind your steps Starscream. You nearly stepped on Raphael."

Starscream's expressive brows lifted and then shadowed his optics with irritation. His voice dropped back down to his normal octave, "What?"

The blue and red mech pointed to the floor just in front of them where a small wild haired boy with large glasses and a bag haphazardly slung on his arm stood. Starscream looked down at the diminutive figure his optics narrow. From his expression one would gather he wanted nothing more than to stomp the "insect" before him.

"H-Hey." the boy squeaked with an awkward wave.

"Get out of my way human." The Seeker hissed with no amount of friendliness.

Optimus frowned, "His name is Raphael."

Starscream paused and then looked very slowly to Optimus as if on the knife's edge of going off with insanity, "I don't care WHAT you call your pets, Prime. They should have the sense to keep out of my way!"

Huffily the Seeker stepped over Raphael and back on the path toward the wash rooms. Optimus thought to reprimand the Seeker, but for a Decepticon that was a very mild reaction—especially for Starscream— so he let it slide for the moment in favor of checking on the small boy, "Are you all right Raph?"

"I-I'm good. Sorry I was in the way." he apologized, moving toward the stairs and off the walking path.

Optimus nodded with a reassuring smile.

"What a jerk." Miko snipped from the couch.

Before Starscream could get very far he was subsequently caught by Ratchet who grabbed the crook of his elbow and pulled him to the medical table.

"What are you doing? Unhand me!" Starscream snapped, struggling a bit.

"You have an appointment." Ratchet stated simply, not really looking at the Decepticon.

Starscream's head darted in panic, "Appointment? For what?"

"Sit down." Ratchet commanded, none too gently shoving the Seeker into a sitting position on the medical table.

Starscream stood back up, hands upright, "What is the meaning of this?"

This time, Bulkhead's heavy hand pushed him back into sitting, "Doc said to sit."

Starscream looked at the Autobot with a glare but then his optics darted nervously. Was he about to be tortured and punished for almost stepping on that human?

He looked to Optimus who was approaching, "What is the meaning of this Prime?"

"Your primary weapons need to be disconnected."

The Seeker's optics got wide but he knew sooner or later they'd do that to him. Ratchet approached with a medical scanner in hand, waving it slowly over his hands which when active would part and reveal his primary weapons.

"Outta file those claws down too." Bulkhead mentioned.

At that Starscream stiffened his optics frightened.

But thankfully Ratchet confirmed what he already knew, "Much as I'd love to do that, Starscream's neural net is tied very intricately into his hands and arms. Happens when you turn them into weapons."

Starscream sneered, "I had to have some way to defend myself."

"In short, to do so would be excruciating and since I don't have any spare arms lying around to replace them—"

Starscream gave a relieved smile.

But Ratchet jabbed the scanner just under his optics, "Keep that "excruciating" part in mind should you decided to USE those claws on any of us."

The red optics focused on the scanner and then up to the medic. He gave a short nervous laugh. Ratchet snorted then ran the scanner over Starscream's arms again. He pressed a button and the clawed hands automatically shifted half way through their transformation into weapons. Starscream sighed, knowing he had no choice in the matter.

As Ratchet was disconnecting the relays to his weapons he noted that same boy with the glasses was standing on the railing not too far away watching the procedure.

"What are YOU looking at?" the Seeker snapped with glaring optics.

Raphael jumped slightly and moved off toward the couch where Jack and Miko sat.

Miko stopped playing and stood up, "So what if he watches?"

"Miko, don't." Jack warned.

"Hey! I'm talkin' to you Con!" the girl persisted.

Optimus turned slowly, "Miko. Enough."

The girl gave the Con a last glare and sat on the couch.

Starscream's fierce optics only regarded her for a moment before turning to Ratchet and asking, "How is it that you can stand the presence of those noisy vermin?"

Miko flew off the couch, "Who you callin' vermin you girly creeper!"

The Seeker's wings flared with outrage as he snarled. Bulkhead immediately grabbed his shoulders in case he was planning on lunging. Optimus narrowed his optics at both of them and pointed at Miko to silently tell her to sit down. She again did so.

"Hold still!" Ratchet barked, gripping Starscream's wrist more firmly.

Starscream growled but refrained from moving. After a few more moments Ratchet waved his scanner over Starscream's arms again and they resumed their clawed state.

He gave the Seeker a dismissive swipe of his hand "You're done."

Starscream readily stood up and resumed his path toward the wash rooms with Optimus behind. The red optics completely ignored the humans as he passed by their spot on the walkway although his mind was feverishly concocting horrendous fates for all of them.

When they'd left Jack gave Miko a disapproving look, "Way to go making nice with Starscream Miko."

"Me? Make nice with Starscream? He was the one being a jerk." She spat, trying to run Jack's video game car off the track.

"I know, but you shouldn't provoke him like that. He's dangerous." Jack warned.

"I'm not scared of him." she stated defiantly.

Jack passed Miko's car on the screen, "Yeah...right."

Raphael looked up from his computer, "Maybe he's just uncomfortable?"

The teens simultaneously gave younger boy a disbelieving look.

Miko pointed her controller at him, "You're defending him? He almost turned you into smashed Raph and potatoes."

The boy sighed, "Well…it's his first day in a new place…"

"Face it Raph, new place, old place, Starscream is always a Con and therefore always a jerk."

…

When they finally arrived at the wash room, Starscream seemed quite relieved and then very disappointed. It wasn't much of a wash room. In fact it was essentially an open concrete box with a spray wand and hose.

"This is the wash room?" Starscream inquired with no small amount of displeasure.

"Since I doubt your jet mode would fit in a car wash and you would draw some unneeded attention, it's the best we have to offer." Prime explained. "Although our human allies have been known to give us a very thorough wash."

Starscream snarled in blatant disgust, "Ugh. I'd rather bathe in acid then have those vermin lay their filthy hands on my armor."

Optimus shook his head, "The humans are our allies Starscream. And I hope you will respect that relationship if you are to remain with us."

The Seeker gave a look that resembled outrage, "I agreed not to bring harm to your little pets Prime. That doesn't mean I agreed to LIKE them. And they would be wise not to provoke me."

He reached for the spray wand but then realized washing himself would be difficult bound in stasis cuffs.

Starscream held them up, "Might I be freed of these until I am washed?"

Prime nodded and carefully unlocked the bonds, taking them in his hands for safe keeping. For a second Starscream had a massive urge to transform and jet down that narrow corridor he'd seen in the main atrium. But given he didn't know its full dimensions AND he'd have to get past Optimus Prime's very quick and very accurate guns that idea didn't weigh high in his favor. So he decided to wash and be done with it.

Optimus moved out of the room, knowing there was no way out except for the doorway, "There are drying towels to your right."

Starscream sighed and began his ritual cleansing whilst Optimus waited outside, contemplating how he was going to deal with the mounting tensions their prisoner had brought into the base.

And he ended up getting a lot of time to think because Starscream took well over half an hour to finish his wash. When the Seeker finally appeared he was shiny and finishing polishing his chest plate.

"Well…that was primitive…but at least I got that filth off of me." He stated aloud, tossing the towel aside.

Prime produced the wrist manacles and Starscream sighed, obediently holding up his wrists. Once Starscream was shackled, Optimus escorted him back to his makeshift quarters. Starscream gingerly entered the now clean space.

"Pleasant recharge." Optimus said as he shut the door and marched off.

Starscream stared at the small berth he had been given and frowned, "Not likely…"

As he sat down on the berth he noticed a square of yellow on the floor between his feet. Curious the Seeker bent down and picked it up between his claws, only to discover it was a piece of paper with human writing inscribed on its surface.

"Welcome to the Base." it read.

He blinked a couple of times then flicked it away before lying back on his bed, "What nonsense."