Chapter Thirty-One: The other shoe

Nervous. That was probably the right word to describe her feelings right now. She knew she had overstepped her boundaries last night when she went to tell Bright about Kai's outburst but what else could she have done to save him from himself. There was this finality in his gaze last night that told her he was serious about hurting Timothy Laughlin. Even though Bonnie kind of understood where these feelings were coming from she still couldn't accept the action.

So this morning when she woke up to a text massage from Kai wishing her a good morning her heart only briefly jumped before she realized that today might turn into a complete mess. All the way to school Bonnie tried to distract herself form the doom that seemed to be flowing over her head but epically failed. The closer she got to the school building the more nervous she got. Of course she didn't have any guarantee that Kai was actually going to show up today, and even if he did there was still the possibility that Kai had calmed down over night and would leave the guy alone. No matter how hard Bonnie tried to talk herself into believing everything would turn out well, she just couldn't believe herself.

And so she was now standing at her locker, throwing glances over her shoulder every now and then to see if she spotted Kai and if she could see what his mood was like this morning. She packed her bag with all the stuff she needed for the first few lessons and turned around.

The students were all either going to their classrooms, packing their bags or heavily making out against some poor freshman's locker. Seeing those lovebirds on every corner of the school made Bonnie want to take a taste out of her own eye candy. But then she remembered, no kissing until she knew that Timothy Laughlin was safe from Kai's wrath. Bonnie wondered what Jo would have said about the whole mess.

She was about to leave for her first class when she felt a tight grip on her left arm and was yanked back against her locker. It didn't hurt but she was still surprised when she looked up and saw Kai standing in front of her. He kept his gaze away from her but Bonnie could still see how pissed he was. Not the thing she had hoped for to see.

When Kai turned, his gaze still not directly crossing hers, and put one arm up next to her head, Bonnie felt a weird vibe from him. Something she had never felt before coming from him and definitely nothing she would expect after the last few days they had spent together. His obvious discontent about something made her stay silent. She hadn't seen him this way in a very long time and she knew from experience that it was never a good idea to try and get him to open up when he felt pissed. But why was he? Did Bright already talk to him and he figured out she was the one who told him about it? Was he pissed at her?

"Wanna tell me something?" were Kai's first words. There was no greeting, he cut right to the chase. His voice was calm but with a hint of something Bonnie couldn't decipher but it made her cautious not to say anything wrong. This question was clearly asked as a provocation, it was a challenge, a chance to open up about her mistake from last night.

"Kai, I…" Bonnie tried, ready to confess and take all the emotional impact that this confession was going to trigger. "You were so furious yesterday that I needed to get some help. I told Bright about the fact that you were going to kick Laughlin's ass and I know you don't think that I should have done it but it was the right thing to do. I didn't want to get you into any trouble, on the contrary. And I understand if you are pissed at me right now, but it was for the best."

Kai's laugh was forced and when he finally looked up to her eyes, a shiver went across her entire body. She was in some real shit she realized just then. Pure fury was written all over his face.

"That's it? That's all you want to tell me?"

It was like he was playing with her once more. Like he asked a question the answer to was so obvious and Bonnie turned nervous. What did he want to hear from her? She had already confessed to going to Bright last night but that didn't seem to be the one thing that made him so angry. But what was?

"I don't know what you mean, Kai." Bonnie said honestly.

Another mean chuckle escaped him and then Kai punched his fist against the locker right next to her head. He made sure not to hit her, but Bonnie still twitched from the unexpected act. When he talked again he spoke through clenched teeth and his voice had lost all positivity.
"Don't pretend like you don't know what I am talking about. Don't try and maneuver yourself out of this confrontation."

"Please, I am not trying to do anything, I'm just…" Bonnie was cut short from two things. One the slow realization of what he could mean, if he had just had a run in with Mr. Bright and Two Kai interrupting her.

"So you have never in the past few months gone to Mr. Bright to report everything your little spy ears took in from me, haven't you?"

So she was right. It was about her damn agreement with Bright that she had canceled so long ago. Bonnie was frozen in her spot, only staring at Kai's furious face with wide eyes. Her heart started hammering like crazy. The look in his eyes crushed her heart at the same time and she knew right this second that she had done something unforgivable.

"I… I just… I mean…" Bonnie stammered.

"You what? You got a good explanation for this? Something that will make me see you only tried to do what's best for me? Is that it? Oh, by the way what did you get out of this little deal? Did he promise to write you a nice little commendation letter for a college of your choice? Or did he offer to bribe one of your teachers?" Kai yelled at her now.

"No, no. Nothing like that. It wasn't like that." Bonnie desperately tried to get through to him, to make him calm down and explain to him what had happened.

"Then how was it Bonnie? Enlighten me because I am trying really hard to imagine a circumstance where you would do something like this." Kai pushed himself off the locker Bonnie was standing against, giving her just a inch more space to breath. But she'd rather have him stand closer so she could grab his hand and drag him somewhere more quiet to explain, but it didn't seem like he would let her touch him anywhere. His resentful eyes bore into her own and Bonnie couldn't hold his gaze.

"I want to explain but not here, let's just go somewhere quiet and talk about it." Bonnie said quietly and with as much warmth as she could muster right now but he quickly turned her down.

"Why would I do that, so you can run back to Bright and tell him all about my reaction? I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Kai, please…" Bonnie tried to reason.

"No! I am done playing nice. I am done having regards for your feelings when you clearly didn't care about any of mine. I told you these things because I trusted you and you went running back to Bright. I could have told him everything myself, would have spared you two a lot of trouble." Kai said more quiet now but equally disparaging. There was a short silence but then he asked one more question. "Was any of this even genuine?"

Bonnie didn't know the corners of her mouth could drop even further as they already had, but hearing Kai question their friendship and everything that came on top made her heart stop for a beat and she only now realized how much she must have hurt him.

"I canceled the arrangement as soon as I realized that we were becoming real friends, Kai." She knew this was a weak excuse for her actions but she couldn't think of any better thing to say.

Kai snorted, clearly not buying any of what she was saying. "Real nice, Bonnie. I guess your good intentions justify your actions but let me tell you something: the two of us we're done. Go find some other charity case you can test your NSA skills on, I'm not gonna be your guinea pig any longer." Kai stepped closer to her now, appearing more threatening as ever.

"Mr. Parker!" Mr. Brigh'ts voice sound through the hallway and Bonnie turned her head to see her principle rush their way. Kai didn't move or look away from her even when Mr. Bright reached them.
"Mr. Parker I suggest you and Ms. Bennett…" Mr. Bright tried to carefully pull Kai away from Bonnie but when he slightly touched Kai's arm he turned around to him and yelled in his face.

"Don't you dare touch me! You are just as responsible for this situation as she is. I don't want to talk to either of you right now, so get out of my way before I forget myself."

"You need to calm down, young man." Mr. Bright said calmly, taking a step back.

"NO, I DON'T NEED TO DO ANYTHING. I HAVE A RIGHT TO BE PISSED AND BOTH OF YOU SHOULD WAKE UP AND REALIZE WHOES FAULT THIS ALL IS." Kai was so lost in his rage now that he didn't even realize he was actually yelling at the principle but Mr. Bright seemed to have a bad conscience because he let him yell as he liked. It seemed like Kai had said all he wanted to get out because it seemed like he wanted to turn around and leave but before he did that he turned to Bonnie once more, eyes cold as ice. "You are going to regret this."

And then he was on his way. Within seconds he had crossed half the hallway and it was clear now that he was headed towards the exit. There was no holding him here anyway but still a few of the surrounding students looked questioningly at Mr. Bright because he just let him leave without interference. Bonnie wanted to call Kai's name or run after him, making him listen to her but she was so shocked about his outburst that she could barely breathe. She had seen him angry before and she had seen him acting out like a crazy person but that was never with her. This kind of anger had never been directed at her, she had only witnessed it from a far a few times before they started hanging out, but Kai had always been kind and warm towards her. Just a day ago his eyes were full of adoration when he looked at her and now all she had seen in them was rage and anger. With that last thing he had said to her, that last look he had given her she had known that she had lost him.

Bonnie stepped away from the locker and looked in the direction Kai had taken. In the far she saw him pushing some poor freshman boy to the side to clear his way to the exit of the school. The boy slammed into the lockers and seemed to have hurt his shoulder in the process but neither Bonnie nor Mr. Bright seemed to care about that right now. Then she felt a big hand was being placed on her shoulder and a deep voice spoke with a calm she didn't understand could be produced in a situation like this.

"Don't worry, Bonnie. He is going to come around eventually." Mr. Bright said quietly.

Bonnie couldn't reply anything to that, but she thought to herself how wrong Mr. Bright was with that.

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"Hello honey, I made a tomato soup. Are you hungry?" Abby Bennett's voice rang to Bonnie's ears when she opened the door to her home. She had forgotten that her mom would be home and actually she was a little disappointed that she wouldn't have the house to herself. The entire school day she had been fighting back her tears about what had happened between her and Kai, she had even tried calling him but his phone was either shut off or he had blocked her number, and she had hoped she could slip under the cover of the bed and silently pity herself about her stupidity but with her mom home she had to fake a smile and leave the self-loathing for a later point.

"He mom, I'm not really hungry right now. I was just going to go upstairs and do my homework. Maybe I'll reheat it later though." Bonnie said while she stood in the kitchen doorframe, already ready to go upstairs but her mother just knew her too well.

"Woah, woah wait. What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean? There is nothing going on with me."

"Don't lie to me Bonnie Sheila Bennett!" Abby dangerously pointed at her with the cooking spoon. "Spill!"

Bonnie sighed and took off her jacket while sitting down at the table. "It's nothing really. School was just… it was kind of hard today." And that wasn't even a lie.

"Hard how?" Abby asked while sitting down next to her daughter. Damn mothers and their need to get the whole picture of the emotional span of their offspring.

Bonnie thought about how she could best tell her mother what had happened without spilling too much. She had never told her about the feelings she had started to develop for Kai and she wasn't really too keen on admitting yet another time that she screwed it up. So she decided to go with a version of the truth.

"Kai and I… we had a fight. A pretty nasty one and that kind of ruined my day."

"A fight? What was it about?"

"Mom, I actually don't want to talk about it." Bonnie tried to stand up but Abby grabbed her arm and held her in place.

"Sweety, I can see that this is bothering you and I respect it when you don't want to share this with me but I just want to help you. Is there anything I can do?" Abby asked with motherly concern.

"Only if you can turn back time and stop me from making the worst -." Bonnie had to stop talking because she felt tears filling her eyes. She turned away from her mother so she wouldn't notice. But of course she noticed and Abby got up from her chair and came to crouch in front of Bonnie's chair. Her one hand reassuringly grabbed her hand and the other caressed her cheek, like she used to do when Bonnie was little and hurt herself.

"Bonnie darling, you don't have to hide from me."

And then Bonnie couldn't hold back the tears any longer and fell into her mother's open arms. She cried on her shoulder while Abby caressed her back. "He hates me. He hates me, mom."

Abby let Bonnie cry for what felt like hours and Bonnie was glad that she had someone to hold on to other that her pillow. Her mother didn't say or ask anything for as long as Bonnie was crying but when she calmed down and Abby handed her a tissue to clean up her face she tried to calm her down further.

"There is no way that Kai hates you, Bonnie. I am sure that the two of you can fix this."

"No, I screwed it up. I screwed up major. I can't even blame him for hating me, I'd hate myself too if I were him. It's just… it hurts. I didn't want to ruin everything; I didn't mean for any of this to happen. And now there is nothing I can do to make it right and that means I have lost him forever and that hurts. It hurts so much, mom." Another wave of tears streamed down her face and Bonnie pressed her face into her tissue.

Abby stepped closer to stoke her hair gently. After a while she sighed. "Good god, you really like him, heh?"

Through a veil of tears Bonnie watched her mother look down on her, her knowing gaze irritating her.

"How… how did you know?" Bonnie managed to get out.

"Come on Bonnie I am your mother, I recognize when there are certain changes happening with you. I suspected it for a while now, you always had this certain glow in your eyes when you talked about him. And I have to admit I was hoping for something like this to happen since the day I met him." Abby admitted and when she saw Bonnie's irritated gaze she added "What? I like him, too. Not that way of course."

A chuckle escaped Bonnie. Her mother had managed to make her feel better once again. She was still devastated about what happened but now that she shared her feelings with someone and let out all of her grief her heart felt just a little lighter.

"Mom, what should I do now?" Bonnie asked.

"Sweety, since I don't know what you did, I can only tell you this: give him time. Try and talk to him because problems never get solved if you don't talk about it. The rest, you'll have to figure out on your own."

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Bonnie took her mother's advice and gave Kai time and space. Not really voluntarily but because he wouldn't show up for school and wouldn't take any of her calls.

One day she went to Jo to ask about him. It took all her confidence because she knew how close Jo and Kai were and she didn't know how much he had shared with her yet. Also, it wasn't only information about Kai she had given to Mr. Bright. She had also let slip that Jo had been pregnant for a few weeks and of course Jo wouldn't be anywhere near happy to find out Bonnie had told Mr. Bright.

Jo had spotted Bonnie from afar when she approached her that day in the cafeteria and she got up from her table and met Bonnie halfway. That already gave away that Jo knew something.

They sat down on a free table and talked. Apparently Jo didn't know too much. Kai had behaved in his usual way and shut everyone out. Since he hadn't talked to Jo and he didn't go to school anymore Jo had figured out that it had something to do with Bonnie. After she had told her that she was really worried about her brother and asked her what had happened between them Bonnie confessed.

She told Jo all about the beginnings of their relationship and also admitted to talking to Mr. Bright. She knew she risked losing another friend if she admitted everything but it was time to start being honest. To her surprise Jo wasn't nearly as angry with her then she expected her to be. She only sighed while Bonnie fought back tears, apologizing over and over again.

"Bonnie, it's okay. I mean it is not but I am not mad at you." Jo said honestly.

"Why? I've been a terrible friend to both of you."

"Actually you weren't. I know you only tried to help and I am well aware of the problems and despair my brother can cause. So I am not mad because I know you just wanted to help. And hey, you had no idea that you would grow so close to Kai when you first agreed to this thing with Mr. Bright. I think the main guilt lies with him. How could he force you into something like this?"

"What am I supposed to do now?" Bonnie whispered.

Jo stayed silent for a while, thinking about the question. "Honestly Bonnie, I have no idea. Kai's emotions have always been sealed to the world. He rarely tells me anything and I was one of the lucky people he let in on occasion and then you came along and I was super exited because he seemed to open up to you. The thing with Kai is that he might not show his emotions but they are there and they are fragile. I don't know if you have noticed but he has some trust issues. And he trusted you, Bonnie."

Jo's words hurt, even though she didn't intend them to be so hurtful. It was just an analysis of Kai's way of thinking and this was no news to Bonnie at all. She knew all this and she also knew that she hurt him. But if Jo had no answer to her problem then no one would.

So when the two separated for class Jo's only advise was to leave him alone and after a while bug him until he finally talks to her, even if that talk was going to hurt her even more. She also promised to try and find out more about Kai's opinion on this.

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It had been a few weeks since their confrontation in the hallway and Kai hadn't spoken a word to her since. Kai had been a constant thought in her brain. There wasn't a single day she didn't think about how to fix things with him and it was annoying. Kai had reappeared in school a few days after their fight but he actively avoided her. Not showing up to classes they shared and sitting at the exact other end of the cafeteria. Bonnie's frustration knew no end. No texts were answered, no calls returned. There hadn't even been a situation in which she could have the chance to talk to him.

To get some kind of structure and distraction into her life Bonnie worked overtime at her new job. For the first two weeks she had been working at different events with the catering firm but a week later she had been offered a post at one of the established canteens in one of the firm's biggest clients. She took the job and it was a blessing because she had to work more often and got more money for her car and she also had an excuse for her friends for her weird behavior in the past weeks. She told them she was exhausted and they didn't ask any more questions. But surely Faye wouldn't buy that lie for much longer because she knew her too well. All the more reason to finally talk to Kai.

Bonnie had decided to confront him the next chance she would get. That might only be in a few days but she was prepared for that. Surprisingly she wouldn't have to wait that much longer.

When Bonnie was sitting in Ms Gibbens class and her teacher entered the room, scanning for any missing students she could almost feel the surprise rushing through her teacher when the door got opened and Kai Parker entered the class room on the last second. Bonnie's heart missed a beat and her hands instantly got sweaty from the nervousness forming in her core. Kai looked tousled and tired but also cold and distant. It seemed like he was coming down with something. Of course there was only one seat left so without saying a word he dropped on that chair a few rows in front of Bonnie.

"So now I can properly welcome everyone, and this time I can actually greet everyone that is in my class. What a surprise." Ms. Gibbens turned from the class to a specific person sitting in the middle of the room. "It is very nice of you Mr. Parker to honor us with your presence."

Kai had been absent from her class for two weeks. Ms. Gibbens had asked Bonnie what was going on with him but she didn't feel like sharing anything with her teacher any time soon. Any other student would have been in real trouble but somehow Kai could always escape big trouble. Maybe Mr. Bright cut him some slag for his role in this whole mess. R

ight now Kai didn't even have the decency to apologize to Ms Gibbens for his long absence. He only arrogantly said "You're welcome."

Ms Gibbens wasn't known to be easily annoyed but Bonnie could see her eyes sharpening. She wasn't going to let this go so easy. "I expect more respect from you, young man. You think you can come and go as you please but I can tell you such behavior isn't allowed in my classroom. So you better get your act together or the two of us are going to have a big problem, Mr. Parker. So get out your stuff and PAY ATTENTION."

Kai leaned back in his seat, arms crossing on front of his chest. Oh, that wasn't a good sign. Kai would totally use this to start an argument with Ms Gibbens.

"As you wish." He replied derisively, placing his feet on the table. He was provoking her and it seemed to be working.

"I'm being serious, Mr. Parker. Don't test me."

"What are you going to do, he? Send me to the headmaster, call my parents, give me a bad mark? What will it be? Because I have to admit I am not really afraid of any of these options. So as long as you don't give me a good reason to pay attention, like for example teaching something that is interesting or new to me, I'll behave however the fuck I want."

It was like she had never known him. This behavior was exactly like the Kai before she had gotten to know him. The 'too cool for school' kid that didn't care about rules and did what he wanted, not caring if it was illegal, age appropriate or disrespectful. It was like a punch in the face seeing him like this again when she knew exactly what- or better who- was responsible for this regress in his behavior.

"I bet you think that but this is still my classroom and if you don't want to stick to the rules, there is the door. No one forcing you to be here." Ms Gibbens said and it was so obvious that she was done dealing with Kai's crazy.

"Actually there is someone forcing me to be here and it is called compulsory school attendance." He said smart-aleck and Ms Gibbens stepped closer to him. Bonnie wasn't sure what she wanted to do, maybe slap him or something, Bonnie wouldn't blame her, but no matter what she was about to do she stopped and watched Kai closely.

"Have you been drinking?" she asked, shock written all over her face and Bonnie pricked up her ears.

Kai didn't answer right away. Bonnie couldn't see the expression on his face but she assumed that there was a smug smile written all over it. Of course he had been drinking, Bonnie thought. It was so obvious that she wanted to slap herself for not noticing. Kai's silence was as much as a confession as it was tactic. He wasn't going to lie about it because he didn't care about what Ms Gibbens or any other adult would have to say about his behavior but he was searching for the right way to rub it into her face.

"Of course I have been drinking, Ms Gibbens. I was told that this is how the human body functions, so tell me did I do something wrong?"

"That's it! You're going to have a nice little chat with the headmaster." Ms Gibbens turned around and went straight to her desk, searching for the form to send him on his way to Mr. Bright. Kai only chuckled, not impressed with his punishment. When Ms Gibbens slammed the form on his desk he only shook his head and grabbed it, getting up. Ms Gibbens ordered a student form the first row to accompany Kai to the headmaster's office because she wasn't trusting Kai to actually go there and not just go home instead. Before he left the room, Bonnie caught a quick glance at him.

He was looking at her shortly, dark rings under his eyes as an indicator to how bad his previous nights must have been. Bonnie wanted to get up and ask Ms Gibbens if she could be the one bringing him to Mr. Bight but when she saw the look in Kai's eyes, resentful and unforgiving, she didn't. Ms Gibbens wouldn't have let her take him there anyways. And then he was gone and Bonnie thought that she missed out on another chance to talk to him today.

When the lesson was over she went to the hallway to get rid of all her books. She was really not motivated to finish her school day but her focus shifted when she spotted Kai in the distance. He was getting out of Mrs. Percyville's office, had probably talked to Bright this entire time, and headed for the exit. Bonnie's mind went into autopilot and she ran towards him, leaving her locker and her stuff unattended. Within no time she reached him and was just fast enough to push the door close when Kai tried to get out. He hadn't noticed her approaching but now that her arm was denying him his way through his gaze shifted towards her and for the first time in weeks he looked at her directly and Bonnie shivered from the coldness in his eyes.

"Move, Bennett!" he said through clenched teeth.

Bonnie straightened her posture and confidently said. "No! Not before you talk to me."

He only shook his head and turned around, probably to get to the other exit but Bonnie followed him on the step. "Please, Kai. Give me a chance to explain. I want to tell you what happened." She pleaded while walking after him in a fast pace.

"I already know what happened. No need to elaborate." Barked commands and short sentences was all she got from him. But Bonnie refused to accept that this was going to be their new reality. She cared too much to accept that. Kai had nearly reached the side entrance and right before he could slip out she grabbed his arm and turned him around to her.

"Kai! You are going to stop and listen to me right now!" she yelled and to her surprise he actually didn't move. She blinked away that surprise within seconds because she couldn't lose her chance.
"I… I know what I did was wrong and I get that you are pissed at me but you have to believe me that "

"Believe you? That's bold. I don't need to do anything, especially concerning you. I already told you that we are done. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you and I really don't need to hear some half- hearted apology and you should start accepting that." He bit back.

Bonnie swallowed hard. "I won't and you know why? Because I care about you. You are my best friend and I want to fix this and I won't stop trying to fix this."

Kai snorted and looked away. "Yeah, best of friends, that's what we are. " He snarled. "Tell me, do best friends betray each other in your definition because then I get why you would think this is what we are."

"Kai…"

"Just don't, Bonnie. Leave. Me. Alone." And with that Kai left the building leaving her behind with a heavy heart. That was the moment she decided she was not going to give up. He maybe had decided to push her out but she had decided to fix their relationship. It was now only a matter of time before one of them would cave. Bonnie turned around and went back to her locker. She grabbed her backpack and slammed the door shut heading towards the exit, leaving the school behind.