A.N.: It's been ages, I know! I don't want you to think I've abandoned this baby - I haven't!

Falling

06

Collaboration, Not Compromise

"Justin…"

He sighed, warm and relaxed, curled up around something warm and soft… "Mm…?"

"Would you quit poking me with that?"

His eyes shot open. Dark hair glistened in the soft light. Kat glanced over her shoulder at him, raising an eyebrow. He groaned, and rolled onto his back, stretching luxuriously. "Sorry." He sighed, relaxing back into the mattress, warmth cocooning him, for the first time in a long time not feeling exhausted before he'd even climbed out of bed.

"What time is it?" Kat murmured from beside him, curling up on her side to face him. He peered at the alarm-clock.

"A quarter after seven," he yawned. He glanced over at Kat. She had pushed her sleep-mask away from her face, held it in her hand as she gazed across the room, her eyes glinting in the soft morning light. "You have work?"

"Dinner shift. After tutoring," she sighed.

"Reid?"

"Eddie," she curled up, and Justin rolled onto his side to face her. It was strange, sleeping in, waking…waking up to Kat. In her pyjamas, her hair braided over her shoulder, intense blue eyes sleepy…she looked relaxed, for the first time in a long time.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked. Her smile was sleepy, and sweet, and rare.

"Good," she said softly. "You?"

He smiled softly. "I slept great," he said honestly; he felt great for the first time in ages. No hangover! And Kat. That was what he'd call a win-win… She hadn't stayed, last time.

He'd woken and found her gone, couldn't even pinpoint when it was exactly she'd snuck out of his suite. Just gone… And when he'd called that afternoon, she hadn't answered. He was still desperate to ask why, but…well, pride - wounded pride - prevented him. Sometimes it was just better not to know.

How many times had he rejected calls from girls who'd managed to get his number? He knew why he didn't pick up their calls.

He dreaded that Kat had ignored his for the same reason.

But here she was… Sleeping in her car was better than going back home to her mom and sister; but she'd let him bully her into staying at the Lodge rather than sleep in her car - at the very least, he was on better terms with her than her own family was. That was a start.

And she hadn't outright rejected him when he'd asked her to skate with him.

He hadn't asked her, he knew: He'd…been too embarrassed, after that night they had spent together - too afraid of being rejected by her. Because he did want to skate with her.

And she'd snuck out on him.

"You hungover?" he asked quietly, but she shook her head.

"I'm okay," she said softly. "Coffee, and I'll be good to go."

"Want breakfast?" he asked. "Buffet's still on. My treat." She flicked those blue eyes at him, and he was startled that they weren't the usual intense, hard sapphires he was used to; they were still soft from sleep, relaxed. She gazed at him, and something seemed to sink in.

"I'm not skating anymore," she whispered, almost to herself. She bit her lip. "I could have a waffle." He reached out, hand on her waist, and she glanced up at him, biting her lip.

"Is…that your answer?" he asked quietly. Kat sighed, rolling onto her back; he didn't move his hand from her stomach. It felt like she'd melt away if he did, a figment of his imagination.

"I promised I'd think about it," she said softly. "Have you thought about what I said?" He sighed. "I'm… I can't bring the same things to this…this partnership."

"What? Discipline, creativity, talent?" he teased gently. She sighed softly.

"You know what I mean. I…can't contribute, not really. Ice-time, the gym…a choreographer, the costumes. Dasha," she said, wincing, staring up at the ceiling. Justin sighed to himself.

"You know…you're gonna miss out on a lot if you keep worrying about everything," he said, and she sighed softly.

"I know," she half-whispered. "I just… It wouldn't be equal, you know?"

"Why're you so against letting people help you?" Justin asked quietly. Kat licked her lips slowly, staring at the ceiling; she sighed, and glanced at him.

"Because nothing ever lasts," she said despondently. She was worried that he'd dump her for a new partner. She was right; he'd had seven partners in the last five years. And he didn't miss any of them. Nice as Natalie was, they hadn't been friends - now that she'd quit skating, Justin doubted he'd hear from her again… He could never have done this with Natalie, or any of the others. Relaxed…let her in…the way he seemed incapable of keeping his guard up around Kat. She was utterly unfazed by his dad's wealth, Justin's prestige on the ice - if anything, both worked against Justin's favour when it came to Kat, who was stubborn and fiercely independent in real life as much as she was creative and intuitive on the ice.

"Come on, let's go get breakfast," Justin said, deciding to let things be for a little while. "You can be waited on for a change."

"Buffet's self-service."

"Well, then, I will serve you breakfast," he teased. "Whatever you'd like. If that's what it takes."

"One decent night's sleep and a hearty breakfast and you think that'll make up my mind?" she smiled sleepily. "You'd have to throw in a few orgasms for that." Her eyes widened, as if she'd only just realised what she was saying, who she was teasing; he grinned.

"Uh, I didn't realise that was an option," he smirked. "Figured I'd have a better chance getting you a ticket to Jurassic World than giving you more orgasms."

She raised an eyebrow. "You get me to Jurassic World, you can do whatever you'd like with me!" He laughed, and she grinned.

"Come on, let's get ready," he sighed, smiling to himself, relaxing against the mattress again, too warm, too relaxed.

"Yeah," Kat agreed, not shifting.

"Any minute now," Justin yawned. "Carpe diem."

"Yeah," Kat yawned, snuggling in, and murmured, "Today's gonna be my bitch."

"Uh-huh…" Justin started drifting off, vaguely aware of Kat sighing beside him, relaxing too. He'd guess she hadn't been able to in a long time.

He bolted upright as his phone started playing music - Rachmaninoff's 'Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini'. The music Dasha had won her gold Olympic medal skating to.

"It's too early for Russians!" Kat grumbled, covering her head with her pillow.

"Sorry," Justin grimaced, eyes bleary as he squinted at the screen. Dasha frowned disapprovingly at him from the screen.

"I thought you said you had the day off?" Kat said, sitting up and looking over his shoulder at the screen. "Why is Dasha calling you?"

"Probably to make sure I'm not drunk in a snowy ditch somewhere, 'cause she knows I have the day off today," he said glibly, and groaned, before accepting the call, untangling himself from the sheets. "Hi, Dash, what's up? I'm just headed to breakfast… Yeah…I'll give you a ride."

"What's that?" Kat asked, as he hung up.

"Dasha. It's Bingo today," he smirked, and Kat raised her eyebrows at him. He shrugged. "It's at the church - she enjoys it. Especially when she wins. Cookies are always stale; I bring cupcakes."

Kat smiled. "You're sweet."

"Don't tell anyone," he said, not for the first time; Kat smirked, laughing softly, and climbed out of bed. He yawned, rubbing his face. "You want the shower first, or…?"

"No, you go ahead," she said, already turning to her backpack.

Twenty minutes later, they were in the restaurant, lined up at the buffet, talking music - he was rap, hip-hop and R&B. She was classic rock, some guilty-pleasure pop, classical, and the occasional country musician - he had to think that was Mandy's influence, after spending so much time at his dad's house tutoring Reid. The boys took after Mandy's musical preference. Because of the rules of their sport - only recently and joyously overturned - all skaters were exposed to classical music and opera very young: Few enjoyed it the way Kat seemed to melt into the movements, embodying the themes and emotion and drama of classical compositions. The reason why everyone stopped what they were doing to watch her skate.

"Grapefruit juice? Are you a masochist?" he teased, and Kat stuck out her tongue as she picked up her full glass.

"I'm pretending there's tequila added," she whispered confidentially, and he laughed as he poured himself a glass of orange juice, following her to their table, carrying loaded plates. He had the day off; he'd indulge. He'd had to twist Kat's arm to do the same; she'd agreed to split a waffle if she could try the Build-Your-Own eggs benedict station that was so popular. "So, can I ask you a question? It's kind of…personal."

"Sure…"

"If we were to skate together…who'd choose the music for our short programme and free skate?" Kat asked knowingly. "'Cause there's no fucking way I'll skate to Yeezy. It's a moral thing." Justin laughed.

"Deal. But no Beyoncé." Kat gasped in mock-horror. "And no Prokofiev."

"What, you don't like Romeo and Juliet?" Kat smirked. "How many times have you tried to get to Nationals with 'Montagues and Capulets'?"

Justin sighed heavily. "Three, I think. Theresa was the first…"

"Oh, I miss her," Kat said softly. "Who were the others?"

"Natalie, of course. We won Regionals with it… And Tinsley."

"God! Tinsley… That's a name best left unsaid," Kat shuddered, and Justin agreed, sipping his coffee. "She makes Serena seem like a wallflower."

"Just don't say her name three times. Bloody Mary, Beetlejuice and her all have one thing in common," he teased, and Kat chuckled, tucking into her steaming eggs benedict, poached eggs drenched in hollandaise nestled on top of sautéed mushrooms and hash-browns. Justin glanced across the table at Kat, thinking quickly.

"If we were to skate together… What do you want to win Nationals with?"

"I like your confidence," Kat rolled her eyes, and Justin smirked, offering her the bowl he'd filled with fresh fruit.

"Come on. Teamwork's about collaboration, right? Not compromise," Justin said, cringing as he realised he'd heard Mandy say that before. Kat smirked at him.

"Did you read that in a fortune cookie?" she teased.

"No; Mandy. She serves up Southern wisdom with her sweet tea." Kat laughed.

"I guess she's right," Kat smiled.

"Anyway… Dasha usually picks the music," Justin shrugged. Kat pulled a face. "What?"

"Well, it's just… Music's so personal. When you're not invested, it shows," she said, and he agreed.

"So what would you have us skate to, Jurassic Park?"

"Uh, not likely. That's been done before."

"Curse you, Tonya Harding," Justin smirked. "I wouldn't even be pissed if she'd actually won… Think she did it?"

Kat chewed thoughtfully, sipped her juice, then shook her head. "No. Only one who suffered from that whole mess was her. If she was involved, it backfired royally. But I don't think she had anything to do with it. Kerrigan was named to the Olympic team by default, even though she never qualified in a fair skate. She had some bruising and had to do some rehab. She won Silver, and pouted like a spoiled bitch on that podium… I don't know, she seemed entitled, you know? Just because she looked like what a skater should be doesn't mean she was entitled to win the Gold. Oksana Baiul was joyful, she was fluid, she had the spark; she deserved the Gold. Kerrigan's skate was dull. Harding pushed boundaries, she was unapologetic. And somehow she ended up being banned from skating for life, for something she had nothing to do with!"

"Mandy says she knew how to play the game. Kerrigan."

"Oh, definitely," Kat agreed. "My mom says the same. It's all a big game. Listen to AC/DC all you want, but the second you get out on that ice, you better wipe off your eye-makeup, fix up your hair and make like you love Tchaikovsky."

"You always seem like you do love it."

"I do," Kat admitted, shrugging a little. "I love skating to classical music…maybe I'd even sneak some soundtrack scores in, but… If I'm driving, and I've had a bad day, you can bet it'll be 'Highway to Hell' pounding through my stereo… That's where Tonya Harding went wrong; she refused to play the game."

"Still…it's her name people remember. There's a reason the movie's called 'I, Tonya' and not 'I, Nancy'," Justin said, and Kat smirked. "If not for Tonya Harding, Kerrigan would've made a very forgettable skater. She's not the one who landed the Triple Axel."

"You know…before my fall… I was working on it," Kat admitted, and Justin raised her eyebrows.

"The Triple Axel?"

"Yeah. Thought I'd take it to Nationals," Kat sighed. "I don't know…ever since my fall, I've realised some things…things about skating, things about myself and… I don't think I could be the same skater, even if I got my head right."

"How do you mean?"

"I'd…listen to my own instincts more," Kat said thoughtfully. "Stop listening to people who don't have my best interests in mind."

"Your mom?" Justin guessed, and Kat nodded, eyeing him carefully.

"I let her dictate… I thought she knew best, you know? Even when it contradicted what I felt, and what my coach told me… After my fall, I realised - she never even made it to Nationals," Kat said.

"Why did your mom quit?" Justin asked curiously. "I know she skated before she had you."

"Oh, she had to quit because she had me," Kat said, and Justin stared. Her smile was bittersweet - more bitter than sweet. "She was with some guy for a while, like two years, a skater or a coach, I'm not sure which - when she got pregnant, her parents said she could keep me or keep skating… When I finally arrived, she refused to give up either. It's the kindest thing she ever said about it… But she took it for granted that my grandparents would let her do whatever she liked, that they'd take care of me while she skated. They stopped paying because it was clear I wasn't her priority… Tough love. She had to figure it out."

"So she quit."

"And blamed me every day since," Kat said. "Like it's my fault she couldn't use birth-control." She shook her head, sipped her juice, and turned to her breakfast.

Justin bit his lip, then said, "Explains why she's so…tough on you and Serena."

"Yeah. The phrase 'living vicariously' comes to mind," Kat said. "It would've been different if she'd been forced to stop because of an injury…"

"Like a head contusion or a ruptured hip." Kat blinked, and frowned at him, leaning forward in her chair.

"You…you know about Jenn?"

Justin nodded slowly. "Has she even seen a doctor?"

"She has. He told her to rest her hip. Not that she'll listen," Kat said. She gave him a measuring look. "Keep an eye on her?"

"Sure… You haven't talked to her about it?"

"Of course I have. But I got back on the ice weeks after cracking my skull open, she's not gonna listen to me about taking it easy," Kat said. "And she's skating against Serena." Justin pulled a face. "What's the face?"

He sighed. "No disrespect to the others at the rink, but…you're the best out on the ice, and everyone knows it. And your sister…she doesn't come close. Yeah, she's got the technique…but not the heart. Jenn has the heart, but not the technique."

"What about me? What am I missing?"

"I don't know. The guts," Justin smirked, and Kat punted him under the table with her toe, giving him that intense look he knew so well. "What about me?"

"You?"

"Yeah."

Kat gave him a thoughtful, searing look, like she was looking right through him. "You don't lack heart, I think…maybe you're just a little heartsick." She sighed. "Maybe we could all use a break."

"Take a mental health day?" Justin teased, and Kat shrugged. He sighed. "If…if we don't skate together - I'm not gonna start on you, I promise… I just wanna know what you'll do instead."

"I don't know," Kat said, shrugging slightly. She smiled softly. "Guess I'm excited to find out, you know? I've only ever skated."

"Isn't it…daunting?"

"Not daunting, so much as kind of sad, you know," Kat admitted. "My whole life has been about skating, getting to the Olympics. I can't ever remember not skating. Deciding, myself, to do something completely different…it's actually kind of liberating." She gave him a look. "I'm gonna keep my options open… Keep tutoring, definitely, because I enjoy it. Maybe save up and take night-classes at the community college, or seriously start up my own costume business."

"Costumes? Like custom?" Justin asked, and Kat nodded.

"Yeah. My mom taught me to sew when I was little; I've been making mine and Serena's costumes since I was fourteen," Kat said, and Justin raised his eyebrows; he'd never be able to tell their costumes were homemade. Kat always looked stunning - but then, she could wear a trash-bag and still look gorgeous. "I have my sewing machine, and with social media… I'd be a lot more reasonable price-wise than the apparel store, figure I'd get steady business that way…unless my mom decides to sabotage me."

"She'd do it, too," Justin said, reflecting on Carol Baker. He eyed Kat, who nodded glumly. "Listen, if you do decide to start your own costume business…I'd back you - I don't mean financially, so quit squirming. I mean, just - not letting your mom ruin your chances. More kids on the ice listen to me than the mommies do Carol. And what their darlings want… Plus, you know your stuff; you've won every competition you've ever skated in, and we all know costumes play a part in that."

"Every competition but one," Kat muttered, almost to herself. She glanced at Justin, giving him a noncommittal, bashful smile he knew so well, as if she was surprised at his offer to support her venture. "Thank you… What about you? What would you do, if you didn't skate?"

"Gigolo, definitely," he joked, and Kat rolled her eyes, but let him deflect. He sighed. "You could do it? Just walk away?"

"I'm not saying it wouldn't crush my heart and my soul, when all I want to do is just…see how far I could really go, but… Adapt or die, right?" Kat said, with a pained smile. "My mom's been bitter about it since the day she hung up her skates; I'm not gonna inflict that damage on the people in my life. I know better."

"Well, thank God we have insane parents whose examples we've learned not to follow," Justin said, raising his coffee-cup, and Kat smiled sadly as she raised her own cup to delicately chink against it.

"I'll drink to that," she agreed. She smiled warmly across the table as he drained his coffee-cup, maintaining eye-contact, and he licked his lips as he set his cup down.

"Hey, Kat…?"

"Yeah?"

"I really hope you don't decide to quit."

Kat stared back at him. "It's your move, Justin."

He understood that he had the power in this scenario. But he also acknowledged that Kat had set the terms that could either make or break their partnership. He couldn't apologise for his father's success, or guarantee that Kat's worst instincts wouldn't come true - because he knew his dad, and…and Kat did too; she saw right through him.

How could Justin prove to her that he was all in?

From the moment that blade went through Natalie's boot, all he'd thought of was the opportunity to finally - finally - skate with Kat. He'd gone about it the wrong way, using Dasha, and Jenn - his dad did things on his own terms, for his own agendas - but… Justin just wanted to skate with Kat.

Natalie was a sweet girl, and Justin regretted her injury, because he didn't enjoy people suffering: He also acknowledged that he hadn't been invested in their partnership for a long while before Natalie fell.

How could he prove to Kat he was committed to skating with her, when she wouldn't get out on the ice with him until he had proven he was committed to skating with her?

Maybe Dasha would know. He'd use their weekly Bingo talk to try and figure it out.

After breakfast, he dropped Kat off at her car so she could get on with her day. When he picked Dasha up at her penthouse, she gave him a weird look. "What?"

"You're smiling."

"Am I?" he pursed his lips, but couldn't help smiling as he indicated and pulled out onto Main Street.

"What happened last night?" Dasha asked shrewdly. In Russian, she added, "Tell me." Justin sighed, gave Dasha a sidelong look, and admitted everything. He had few secrets where Dasha was concerned: He trusted her absolutely.

She fully endorsed him partnering with Kat, even if no-one else did - even Kat.

Dasha knew Kat had it - the spark that was so rare it appeared barely once in a generation.

Kat was the total package: Beauty, talent, intuition, ingenuity, elegance and charisma.

And she was tough. Justin hadn't realised just how tough. She knew herself, and had decided to stop apologising for it.

He'd be curious to see the skater she could become, if she didn't let herself quit.

And he wanted to be along for that ride. He wanted to be part of that. Because he felt like, if they worked together…they would be unstoppable. They would be exceptional.

They would be remembered.

And whenever it was he decided to retire from skating, he wanted to be proud of the fact that he had made skating history with Katarina Baker. The rest of the world didn't realise how special she was, but Justin…he'd known it since they were children. There was something utterly unique about Katarina Baker, and he wasn't embarrassed to admit - to himself - that he just…wanted to be near her. To be a part of her life - he wanted her to be the best part of the best part of his life. Skating.

She was right, of course. He didn't lack heart when it came to skating, but he was tired; he either needed a break, or a jolt out of his growing apathy.

He got the feeling Kat wouldn't let him be anything but totally engaged with skating again. She was so passionate when she skated - she worked harder than anyone out on the ice, but she was still fiercely in love with the sport. She would demand the same from him, or it wouldn't work.

She was a hard-ass, and he loved that.

He remembered her taking control during their night together, setting the terms, and…they just fit. Him pushing her, her reining him in; balance. Collaboration. They'd learned each other, worked together, to get what they both wanted, somehow known what each other needed.

A.N.: It's been ages since I updated this fic, I know! I've been obsessed with The Vampire Diaries, Outer Banks and That 70s Show! I'm not sure when you can expect more updates for this fic, but I won't abandon it, I promise!