Chapter Thirty-Seven: Road To Recovery

"Oh, come on. Pleeeeease."

Kai tilted his head and widened his eyes, a cute smile surrounding his lips. Bonnie's heart missed a beat and she wanted to punch herself for it. No matter how hard she tried, there was no way of shaking the longing she felt for this guy. They were friends again and for the past few weeks it had worked out really well. In contrast to what Kai had said the other night, about how this would never be like before, Bonnie had the weird feeling that it kind of already did. Without the making out part unfortunately. That was the one thing Kai refused to grant her again- fluffy feelings and intimacy. To her it seemed like he didn't need it, that he had checked that part of their relationship off. It wasn't hurting Bonnie as much as it annoyed her. The annoying part being her own feelings that most likely didn't get the memo that they had no business existing any longer. So Bonnie did her very best not to show him that deep inside she was still falling hard for him.

Now they were sitting in her room, books spread all over the place while the summer sun was warming the space up. Bonnie had convinced Kai to be her study-buddy again for all the final exams that were coming up the next weeks before the school year was over. It had been hart to convince him to spend some time with studying because he was completely convinced that it was a waste of time and that they could use the time better. He had been at her place for an hour and a half before he had started pleading for them to stop studying and go outside to enjoy the summer day. Bonnie had stayed firm against his pleading and grumbling, even though she knew she rather wanted to spend the day lying in the sun. If he kept on asking her to leave the books behind and go outside, she might cave.

"Booooonnie…" Kai whispered in her ear while they lay across her bed, math books in front of her.
"We've been over this for hours, I think it is time for a break."

Bonnie turned her head to face him and when she spoke she tried to hide her excitement and sound determined. "ONE hour, we have only been here for one hour, that's hardly enough time to study this topic, Kai."

"One hour, two hours, who cared about the details?" Kai rolled onto his back and faced the ceiling.

"I do, because I don't want to fail miserably."

"You won't. We both know that you are always panicking over nothing and you are really good in math so there is no need for you to waste your time with this."

Bonnie closed her book. "You're right, math is kind of my thing. So, I'll just check out biology instead. That is really not my strong suit." Bonnie reached behind her and grabbed her biology notes.

Kai sighed into the pillow next to him while rolling to his side. "You're killing me Bonnie."

"What do you even want to do when you get out? I wouldn't even consider leaving here without a proper plan." Bonnie lied. She would strap along anything Kai suggested at this point.

"Oh, I have an idea. There is a gathering at the park, a few of our class mates are meeting up. There will be a picnic and music…"

Bonnie looked up. Faye had mentioned something like this earlier. It did sound like a lot of fun and the sunny day kind of screamed for them to take the day off and enjoy it. Bonnie was about to cave to his suggestion.

"Hmmm, fine. But I'll take my books." Bonnie agreed reluctantly and Kai's smile grew wider. He jumped off the bed and pulled on her arm to make her stand up.

"You can take your books all you want, you're never going to have a chance to look into them anyways."

Bonnie still packed them. She was aware that she was probably not going to study anything else today, but she liked the idea that she could. Kai's mood had changed completely and he rushed her to grab all her stuff and get going. He jumped down the stair like a little kid that was excited for Christmas. It was adorable.

"Where are you two headed?" Abby Bennett's voice reached them from the living room. She soon after appeared in the door frame. "Thought you wanted to study all day?"

"We are, just moving this outside." Kai said enthusiastically and opened the door and got out. He really couldn't wait a second longer.

Abby leaned to Bonnie and whispered. "Isn't he a little too excited to study outside?"

Bonnie only rolled her eyes and followed Kai outside, because he had called for her. The park was not too far from Bonnie's home and so they decided to leave the cars behind and walk. The sun felt warm on Bonnie's shoulders and burned a little her eyes. She wanted to go back to get her sunglasses but Kai grabbed her arm and told her there was no need. He pulled out his own pair and placed them on Bonnie's nose with gentleness, tipping on the tip of her nose with his index finger after that.

"Problem solved." He said and turned around to go ahead. Bonnie waited a few more seconds before she followed him, the gesture making her get weak in the knee and she needed to breath in and out before she could even think of moving her legs in a proper way. When he caught up with him her thoughts were still running wild. Why in god's name was it always a normal situation like the one that just happened that got her all confused and left her with a heart rate nearly as bad as if she were running a marathon. Inside she knew the answer to that question but she didn't dare to even think about it. If she only once admitted it to herself, it would make it real and she didn't want that to happen. Not if Kai didn't have the same feelings.

They reached the park and Bonnie could already hear the group that had gathered on the meadow in the middle of the park and the music that was playing there. When they got closer Bonnie heart a familiar voice call her name and turned to see Faye and Connor. Faye jumped up and ran towards them, hugging first Bonnie and then also Kai.

"I thought you weren't going to go outside today because you wanted to study." Faye said.

"She still thinks she will." Kai accused her and avoided a punch she was throwing his way. After that he went to search for his sister and left the girls alone. Faye dragged her to Connor's and her place and they sat down. She awkwardly greeted Connor. Since their horrible date Bonnie had tried to avoid him as much as possible because she had no idea how she should deal with him now that she knew he was interested in her and she rejected him.

The awkward vibe spreading between the two only got worse when Kai and Jo joined them. Bonnie made sure she was sitting next to Jo and not Kai so there wasn't any sign that Connor could misinterpret. He was already on to her feelings for Kai and she really didn't want to push it.

The day went by in a rush. The sunshine seemed to make everyone feel really relaxed and they all enjoyed themselves. Bonnie met a few new people that Jo introduced her too. She had seen them around school but had never really talked to them because they were the ambitious ones- the ones taking positions and being political, the ones that were likely to go to college in Yale, Harvard or Princeton and become lawyers or bankers or something like that. But they were all really nice and Bonnie thought that it had been a pity that she hadn't talked to them sooner because some of them were really making an impression on her.

When the evening approached someone got the booze out and the students started to drink. Bonnie was reluctant at first but let herself get talked into a beer by Faye. When she had finished that she had another and after that she didn't care. She had fun and everyone else around her had fun too. So why did she have to be the one not drinking tonight? She made a promise to herself not to get too wasted but she didn't decline the shots Kai had poured them all after a few hours.

When the party was hitting its end Bonnie was feeling really good. She was just a bit dizzy but she was still in full control over her body and mind. She was leaning onto a willow and felt the sleepiness slowly taking over her body. Connor had already left but Faye and Jo were sitting close by discussing the newest fashion. Bonnie didn't listen to them and was about to fall asleep when Kai sat down next to her.

"Hey there." He greeted her with a smile.

"Hi." Bonnie's body instantly reacted to his presence and gave her an energy boost the best coffee couldn't provide.

"I just wanted to say sorry." Kai said with a more serious expression.

"Sorry for what?"

"That I dragged you out here and kept you from studying."

"Oh, no. That's okay. You were right, I am panicking a little too much about this all and there is still time. I am actually really glad that you made me come here today, I had a lot of fun."

"You did?"

"Sure. It was kind of perfect." Bonnie admitted honestly and earned a genuine smile from him.
The sun was about to disappear, giving Bonnie a general idea of the time and also making her shiver a little in her blue tank top and jeans skirt. She slid a little closer to Kai to feel his body warmth and he put his arm around her shoulder, leaning back against the tree with her. He was rubbing her bare arm to warm her up further and it encouraged Bonnie to lean her head onto his shoulders.

"Hey, you never told me if you had any plans for the summer." Bonnie thought out loud. After their time out they had never discussed that topic but Bonnie wanted to know.

"I'll be with my granny in England for the most part. What about you?"

"Spending some time in Mystic Falls with Care and Elena, like every year. England, huh? Is Jo coming too?" The last part she said louder so that Jo would hear her.

"No, Jo is most definitely not coming." She answered, scandalized.

"Jo doesn't like the company I gather there, that's why she stopped going a few years ago." Kai explained and Bonnie looked at her questioningly.

"If you had met them, you'd understand. They are the typical frat boy types. Totally arrogant and always hung over. Nasty bunch." Jo ranted.

Bonnie had to smile at her description. "Oh, you found your flock!" Bonnie turned to Kai mockingly.

"Shut up." He smiled.

"Alright guys, it is time for me to leave." Faye declared and hugged everyone. Bonnie was about to state herself that she was feeling sleepy and wanted to leave when Kai asked her if he should walk her home. Bonnie nodded and Kai helped her get up. Jo told him to come back to the party after he had dropped her off and she would take him along in her car. Jo didn't have any drinks tonight so it was the safest way for Kai to get home since she had seen him smoking pot earlier and have some beers.

They were slowly straying along the walkway, slowly because Bonnie was now half asleep and Kai needed to support her body. At least that gave her the opportunity to breath in his wonderful scent. She hadn't had the chance to do that in the past months and it was still as pleasant as she remembered it.

When they reached her house Bonnie was basically not able to walk any more. The sleepiness had claimed her completely and Bonnie blamed that on the few drinks she had earlier. She rummaged around for her keys and dropped them when she finally had them. Kai leaned down and opened the door for her and when Bonnie finally remembered that she had to step into the house she got swept off her feet.

Kai had pulled her up and carried her through the door and put to her room. She had probably given off the vibe that she wouldn't make it on her own and maybe that had been right. She was halfway asleep when she felt the mattress of her bed underneath her and someone pulling off her shoes. The next second the warmth of her blanked being placed over her shivering body made her drift off even further. She mumbled a 'thank you' because she felt like it was necessary and felt a kissed being placed on her forehead.

"Good night, Bon-Bon." Kai's voice seemed far away and it was the last thing she needed to finally fall asleep.

. .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Bonnie was rushing her pen over the sheet of paper in front of her a few days later. The finals were here and giving her recent experience that studying with Kai was going to get her in some kind of distraction from the task at hand, she decided to ditch him as a study budy, which he wasn't too sad about. He still managed to get her away from the desk more often then she would have liked. His intriguing personality always made her weak to his suggestions of having fun rather than spending the entire day with her books.

So now she had to pay the prize for her slackness. Bonnie had gotten through most of the finals already and was now working on her last one: history. Even though she felt like she had noting in her brain about the Second World War her pen didn't stop flying across the pages. Apparently, something must have stuck with her, if any of these answers were correct was a whole new question.

With a short glance to the clock she saw she only had 10 more minutes left before she was finally free of all the studying. Kai had made her agree on attending the annual bonfire with him. Every one of her friends would be there too and unlike her, she was actually excited.

Bonnie turned to the last page of her exam only to find it was the evaluation paper for the teacher. With 7 more minutes left on the clock, she was done. A little confused she looked at the pages in front of her and wondered what she should do now. Not ever did she submit her exam pages before the final second has run out. This situation was new to her and so she started to look around in the room, checking whether any of the other students were done as well.

The others were still busy answering the questions and some really looked lost but there was one person who's head was not bent down towards the pages but facing the window to the left. Bonnie only saw the back of Kai's head but she couldn't look away. His sight gave her reassurance and something to do. If Kai was already done it was a good sign. Bonnie doubted he studied for this as much as she did but Kai never had to worry about his marks since it kind of always came to him. No matter how much the teachers hated him they couldn't deny his results and they were always good.

Like he felt her gaze stuck on him Kai turned his head in her direction and smiled when he caught her staring at her. Then he drew his eyebrows up in question. He tried to ask whether the test went okay and Bonnie nodded slightly and smiled. Kai stabilized his head on his hand and smiled. Something about that smile gave Bonnie the impression that he was proud of her, but there was no need for that yet. She may be done with the exam but she still had no idea if it was good or bad but of course she couldn't tell him that with a single nod and smile.

Bonnie and Kai were the first ones to hand over their exams to Ms. Gibbens only seconds before the official time was over. They got out of the room and when the door closed behind them Bonnie sighted heavily.

"Gosh, this is finally over."

Kai chuckled and followed her to her locker. "So, it went well for you?"

"Don't know yet, I kind of felt like I hadn't learned anything but when I started writing I couldn't stop. You can guess if that is a good sign or a bad."

"Good, most definitely." Kai stated and leaned on the locker next to hers.

"How did it go for you?" Bonnie asked and Kai shrugged.

"The first 20 minutes I debated whether to actively fail this exam or not. But then I knew so many answers to the questions and it would have been a waste." He explained.

"Why would you want to fail on purpose?" Bonnie asked irritated.

"To piss everyone off and to go against their expectations, especially my dad's."

"No one but you retaliates by actively being worse than you actually are." Bonnie shook her head and closed her locker. She wanted to get to his locker next but he said he had nothing to put in there so she headed towards the door.

Kai hesitated for a moment, looking at her skeptically. "Where are you off to?"

"Thought we could grab some ice cream. You up for it or are you afraid we might get caught?" Bonnie over-dramatized. Kai fought back a smile, probably thinking a few months back, when Bonnie was too scared to ditch school for any given reason. Now she was suggesting cutting short on school herself. What a horrible influence Kai had been.

Of course Kai didn't have a problem with leaving early, even though he had tried to be more present at school since the stunt he pulled at his father's company. But the prospect of having ice cream on a nice summer day was sounding just way better. Bonnie didn't want to think that maybe the prospect of getting ice cream and spending some time with her, alone, was winning him over, because that would only lead to her falling for him more and getting even more disappointed when she finally learned he didn't think of her that way.

Since the last time they had sex and he told her that he couldn't forgive her yet nothing had happened between them. They hadn't even talked about it, just kept going like their intimacy never happened and that made Bonnie think that Kai wasn't interested in her that way anymore. Maybe he never really was, because this was still Kai Parker, the cool kid that only dated for a little while before the girl bored him to death. He wasn't made for long term relationships, let alone having decent romantic feelings for someone. Even though this truth was hard to bear, she accepted it, she just wished her heart would do the same. The longer she tried to ignore her feelings the stronger they got and Bonnie has reached a point where she definitely couldn't deny them any longer. Now she had to find a way to live with them without telling him, because that would probably make him run for the hills and she just got him back. No, she wouldn't risk that ever happening.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The rest of the school year went by so fast Bonnie wondered if there was magic involved. She spent most of the time with her friends on some random parties, relaxing in the park or by the lake or doing crazy shit with the Parker twins. One night Kai would knock on her window. He had climbed the tree next to it and gestured for her to get outside. Bonnie had no idea what he was up to but she still snuck out the house. Outside she saw Jo standing close to Kai. They were giggling like three year olds, trying to keep it down so none of the neighbors would wake up. It was a strange view and Bonnie wondered if the two of them were drunk.

"No, we are not." Jo said in a clear voice that stressed her statement. But right after that she started to laugh again and Kai joined her and suddenly Bonnie knew what was going on. They had been smoking pot. Bonnie sighed and asked herself, not for the first time in the past few weeks, why she was friends with those two but she was already up and asked what they planned on doing.

"We are going to take a swim." Kai declared as if that was the most obvious to do in the middle of the night.

"What?" Bonnie only asked but the two were already on their way. Bonnie sighed and followed them. Someone had to look out for them. As it turns out Kai didn't mean taking a swim in the nearby lake but the public pool, which was closed. Ignoring all of Bonnie's concern Kai was already climbing over the fence and Jo was following a few seconds later. She only heard them giggle on the other side and looked around if there was anyone to see. It was public knowledge that the pool didn't have any security because the owner actually wanted it to get vandalized by someone so he could get insurance money and refurbish the entire thing, so they didn't have to fear anything while they were inside. Without another though Bonnie climbed over the fence and landed not so gracile on the other side.

With a lot of effort she could talk Jo and Kai out of actually getting in the pool. There was no way she would be able to explain two dripping teenagers that were acting like crazy people to anyone catching them on their way back.

When Jo finally came down she got tired and wouldn't stop nagging until Kai agreed on going home. It was 4 in the morning when they reached the Parker house. Bonnie was making sure they actually found their home and didn't accidently break into some strangers' house and wanted to turn around and leave them when Kai grabbed her arm and dragged her inside. There wasn't much she could do about it and so she decided to stop struggling.

Kai dragged her to his room, giving Jo a weird sign that Bonnie didn't understand. But apparently Jo did because she disappeared into her room and a minute later appeared in his room as well. Even though she had been tired she followed Kai and Bonnie to the roof outside of Kai's window, where he had dragged her. There was a jut next to his window where at least 4 people could easily sit without fearing to fall down. Bonnie was worried sick that Kai or Jo would fall due to their current state but they both assured her that they had done this a thousand times before and nothing ever happened.

This was only calming her down a little but she still sat down on the edge of the jut, Kai sitting next to her and then Jo. They sat there in silence and Bonnie had a second to admit that except for the whole looking out for the two, this night had actually been fun. She noticed Jo handing Kai something in tinfoil, probably what she had gotten out of her room before she joined them, and Kai leaned back against the roof and started fumbling with something. After a few minutes, she realized what he had been doing when she heard the sound of a lighter clicking and smelled the very original smell of marijuana. Kai handed the joint to Jo and she took a deep drag, blowing the fume out of her nose.

The next 30 minutes were kind of a blur for Bonnie. She had argued that she really didn't want to be the chaperone anymore and without further resistance Jo handed her the joint. For the first time in her life, Bonnie pulled on a joint and she had to admit it wasn't even as bad as she thought.

She was feeling very light and the three stoned teenagers laughed over nearly everything, even though it wasn't funny. Then the sun rose and Kai and Jo leaned back to enjoy the show. Finally, Bonnie understood why they dragged her up here. The view was stunning. Watching the sun light rise between the trees was breathtaking.

"Wow, this is beautiful." Bonnie stated while she also leaned back.

"Yup." Both Kai and Jo said at the same time. Bonnie turned her head and watched the twin. Normally, they already looked alike so much but watching them right now, both relaxed and pretty buzzed made them look even more alike.

"How often do you do this?" Bonnie asked because it was clear that this hadn't been their first time.

"Only sometimes." Jo said, her eyelids closing.

"Not as much as we'd like." Kai added and punched his sister that was starting to fall asleep. Jo jerked up and glared at her brother. "Go to bed, Jo."

Without further discussion Jo said goodbye to Bonnie and climbed back into the house leaving Kai and Bonnie alone. Kai shifted a little to the side and Bonnie lay down on her side, watching the sunrise and placing her head on Kai's outstretched legs, using them as a pillow. She only now realized that she was starting to feel tired as well. If it was the impact of the marijuana or the early hours of the day was not something she could say. The only thing she wanted to do now was relax and watch the beautiful, peaceful sunrise with Kai. She knew that Kai was leaving for England for the summer and it made her sad to think that these crazy activities they had been into the past weeks would have to end for now. She would spent some time in Mystic Falls herself but when she was getting back home, she wasn't sure if Kai would also be there to help her have a summer of a life time.

"When are you leaving for England?" Bonnie said after a while of silence.

"In a week." Kai's voice sounded silent and sleepy.

"And when are you going to get back?"

"End of August."

Bonnie startled. Sitting back up she stared into his eyes. "What? You're gonna be gone the entire summer?"

Kai chuckled. "Relax, Bon. I'll still have enough time left for you before school starts again."

Bonnie pouted. "But what am I supposed to do without you?"

"I don't know. What did you do all these other years?"

"Nothing as cool as this." Bonnie dropped her gaze, watching her hands fumble with a leave that had been lying on the roof.

"Aaah, I get it. You want to use me as you personal entertainment guide." Kai teased and Bonnie looked up, pouting again and Kai laughed reaching for her and pulling her closer to him.

She relaxed into his side, her cheek resting on his chest and his arm wrapped around her shoulder. Her heart started a race with Usain Bolt again and she hoped that Kai wouldn't notice. But it seemed like his mind has drifted off, the pot slowly leaving his system making him inattentive like a kid. They were sitting there in silence and Bonnie enjoyed the closeness. After a while an absentminded Kai started playing with the streaks of her hair, and Goosebumps spread across her arm.

"Are you cold?" Kai asked as he noticed and Bonnie shook her head.

"No, just tired."

Kai looked at her and she could see he felt just like her. "Come on, let's get inside." Kai rose and pulled her up after him. He climbed into the room and helped her in when it was her turn. Bonnie checked the time on her phone. It was already 5:30 am and she knew her mother was leaving for work in 10 minutes. She usually didn't check on Bonnie this early so there was no need to find a decent explanation for her absence in the middle of the night. Bonnie had gotten pretty good at avoiding getting caught while sneaking out in the middle of the night. She always made sure that she was back when her mother would notice her absence and on other nights she just told her in advance she was out with Kai and Jo and didn't know when she was going to be back. She wasn't even lying to her mother, she just never told her what they were doing. It was odd hat Abby didn't question her actions lately, but maybe because Bonnie had never gotten into trouble before Abby never even thought about the option that she could.

Bonnie dropped down into Kai's bed, completely exhausted and cuddled into his blanket. She had been staying over at his place quite a lot lately and they had come to a sort of routine and normalcy about it. Before Bonnie could fall asleep she felt Kai getting into bed and she turned to snuggle into him. Due to his current state he embraced her and caressed her arm.

"I will really miss you. Will you miss me too?" Bonnie mumbled against his cheek.

"Just a little."

"That's enough." She quickly pecked his cheek and snuggled back into the pillow before drifting off in a dreamless sleep.

Author's note: Happy anniversary to this story. Can't believe I first posted this story a year ago. I am sorry for not making this a special chapter, to celebrate the one year of Bonkai crazys, but I didn't notice this until a few days ago. So, you have to live with this chapter. :D I wanted to say thank you to all of you lovely people. I always love reading your comments and reviews. You really keep me going. Sorry for my absence by the way, hope it's gonna be better in a few weeks. What can I say, bachelor is a bitch. Thanks again for sticking with this story so far. There is still so much to tell. Until next time, LiLaAir.