Because people commented on Claire's (and Alexis') too mature language: I'm sorry about it. But since English is not my mother language and I haven't met that many english-speaking kids I don't really know what words and expressions they would use and which they wouldn't. Just wanted to let you know that, in case more of you were wondering.

O-o-o-o-o

Martha knocked on the doorframe to Richard's office. He was typing but at a normal pace so she knew she wouldn't interrupt him in a critical moment. He wouldn't loose his words if she talked to him now.

He typed a few more words and then looked up questioningly. Martha sat down on the other chair in the room.

„I was wondering if we are still on for the Hamptons this year" she said. She'd been thinking a lot about her son and Katherine and their relationship. She'd seen the young woman and her daughter once more this week and was sure that she and Richard would fit perfectly together. But they both didn't seem to have realized it yet or weren't ready. So she'd decided to not do much about it. One idea had stuck with her though. And she didn't have to do anything for it really. She just had to plant the idea in Richard's head and let it develop from there. „Or if you're not going because Alexis would miss Claire terribly" and he'd miss Kate, she didn't say.

She could see realization in his eyes, telling her he hadn't been thinking about it at all.

„I don't know" he said, clearly thinking now. He loved their yearly time at the Hamptons and so did Alexis but Martha knew that he was jumping in whenever Kate needed a babysitter for Claire. Martha didn't know what was wrong with her father but she definitely didn't depend on him. She'd figured that much out when she'd talked to Claire. And Kate's mother was dead Clair had told her so she wasn't available as babysitter either. „I mean, I'd love to go but you are right. Alexis would miss Claire. I don't think that either of them would be happy if we were going there that long."

„I'm sure you'll come up with a solution" Martha told him confidently. She already had an idea what the solution could look like but she wouldn't tell him. He would come on it himself. „Just let me know when to expect you. Cause I'll be going anyway"

„Of course you are" he said. „Probably going to set the house on fire" he added in the usual tone he used when he was joking, but pretending to really mean it.

„A little party never killed nobody" Martha replied. Richard groaned.

He was just about to respond to his mother when there was a knock on the front door. He looked at his watch. He didn't expect visitors but it wasn't late. Alexis was in bed already though. She'd been unusually tired so he'd put her to bed early, hoping she wasn't coming down with something. She hadn't eaten anything either and had said her tummy was hurting.

Thinking it might be a neighbor asking for eggs or an onion or something else essential to cooking Richard went to the door to open. His mother followed, having wanted to make an exit soon anyway. She'd just stopped by on her way on the way to meet a friend to plant the idea in Richard's head.

When he opened the front door though Rick was immediately swamped with concern. In front of him stood Kate, her eyes red, her cheeks puffy. She'd been crying. Her make-up was everywhere aside from where it should be. And there was no one beside her.

„What's wrong?" Rick asked, a little panicked already. „Where's Claire?" He looked around in the hallway frantically but the little girl was nowhere to be seen.

Oh god. Had something happened to Claire? Why wasn't she here with Kate? What other reason could there be for Kate to cry and appear on his doorstep looking like this?

„With Lanie. Claire's fine" Kate said, using as little words as possible. Rick took a breath of relief. Nothing was wrong with Claire. But what then?

„Invite the girl in, Richard" came the scolding voice of his mother. She seemed concerned too but when Kate noticed her she flinched, taking a step back as if she was about to go. She hadn't thought about the fact that he might not be alone. She glanced at her watch and noticed that it wasn't even bedtime for Alexis.

„Yeah, of course. Come in" Rick said quickly and opened the door wider, stepping out into the hallway to put a hand on her lower back to guide her inside. He of course had noticed her flinch when she'd caught sight of his mother, clearly not expecting her there. „Mother was just about to leave and Alexis is already sleeping."

„Yes" Martha agreed, wondering what was wrong but sensing too that Katherine hadn't expected her here nor wanted her to be here right now. She was terribly upset about something and was searching Richard out. Who was she to stand in the way of that? „I'm already gone. Goodbye" and then she quickly made her exit, closing the door behind her.

„Come on" Rick said. „Let's go to the couch and sit down." He gently guided her and she let him, not yet talking.

He sat down close beside her, his hand still on her back, hoping the contact was soothing. At least it didn't seem to be uncomfortable for her since she didn't pull back or anything.

He could feel her take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her body shook irregularly with it.

„Are you sure Claire is fine?" Rick asked. He couldn't think of anything else that would have her so devastated. Kate nodded though.

„Okay" he said, at a loss of what to do now.

„I don't even know why I came here" Kate said. „I thought I was driving home. But I ended up in front of your building." She took another deep breath and for the moment the up and down movement of Rick's hand on her back was soothing and comforting. When she'd noticed she had ended up at Rick's building she'd thought about turning around and driving home instead like she'd planned too but she'd suddenly felt the urge to see him. Hoping that he would be able to cheer her up. He was good at that after all.

She started to doubt the decision to come up here now though. On one hand she wanted to talk to him about her father and have him comfort her, on the other hand she didn't think it would be a good idea. Did he even want to listen to her problems? Would he even understand?

Sure they had talked about their recent break-ups and the problems following them and had comforted each other. But her alcoholic father was a completely different thing. It was so much harder and hurt so much more. It left her so insecure and unconfident about herself.

Josh had known about her dad's alcoholism of course and hadn't wanted that they left Claire alone with him. And while Kate hadn't been too fond of that herself she had known and trusted her dad to not drink while he was with Claire. But Josh had judged and had been so insensitive about the topic and about Kate's mixed feelings towards her dad that she didn't really like to share this detail of her life with anybody.

What if Rick judged too? What if he made a comment about it that would hurt her? She liked the easy friendship they had where he always knew the right thing to say to make her feel better. She didn't want to lose that.

But that was it, wasn't it? He always knew the right thing to say. Maybe, just maybe he would say the right thing about this too. She didn't know what the right thing was but maybe he would know.

„It's about my dad" she told him. „I went to see him today to bring him the invitation to Claire's birthday."

His stroking hand on her back didn't waver for a second. He looked at her with those deep blue eyes. They were so kind and full of concern for her, so open for anything she might say next. Calm and reassuring. She took another deep breath.

"After my mother" she hesitated. She was about to say was murdered but then backed off in the last second. She wasn't ready to talk about that yet. „After my mother died, my father started drinking. Before I got pregnant with Claire I was spending a lot of my time trying to get him out of the bottle. Without success. Sometimes he was sober for a few weeks and promised to stay away from alcohol. I always got my hopes up despite my better judgement. And he always disappointed me. I would be crushed for weeks. Then I got pregnant with Claire and started one last attempt. I was hoping so much that this time he would stay sober. For me. To be there for me. For Claire. To be there for his grandchild" she stopped to take the tissue Rick was holding out for her. She hadn't noticed that she had started crying again but of course she had. How could she not? She dried her tears, inhaled shakily and continued.

"And he did stop after I told him. The longest time he stayed sober ever since my mother was gone. But just a few days before Claire was born, on my parent's wedding anniversary, he started drinking again. I've never really understood why. Sure that date had always been especially hard for him but he'd been happy to have a grandchild soon. He'd been better. I was so crushed when I visited him the next day and he was still drunk from the day before. I cried and cried and cried for days. And then Claire was born. And she was so beautiful and so little and perfect. And I called dad to tell him. But he didn't pick up." She looked at Rick, big fat tears in her eyes. He held his arm out for her and she gladly sank into his embrace and buried her face in his chest for a moment.

"He knew I was nine months pregnant and that the baby could be born any minute and he didn't pick up when I called. He just didn't pick up, Rick" she sobbed, she had clutched his shirt in her hand and was clinging to him.

Well, she had thought she was over it. Obviously not. Here she was, sobbing into Richard Castle's chest about an ignored phone call almost five years ago. Rick Castle, her best friend.

He was caressing her back in a soothing motion. Once she calmed down she pulled away a little to continue talking.

"He called back a few hours later but when he did his words were still slurred. And while I talked to him on the phone Claire was crying. She'd just woken up from her very first nap and was crying because she was hungry. And I was on the phone with my father who couldn't even stay sober long enough to meet his granddaughter on the day of her 's when I decided to cut contact to my dad. Or stop wasting my energy on trying to get him sober. And until today I feel so bad for giving up on him and I can't forgive myself but I have Claire and I just can't deal with the emotional stress of always getting disappointed by my dad. We meet occasionally. When he calls me sober. Most times I bring Claire. When we really couldn't find someone to watch Claire I called him. Josh didn't like it but he didn't hate it enough to take time off from work. When dad was sober he would be just like the grandfather I wish she could have all the time, when he wasn't I took time off from work or I brought her to the precinct when I knew that it would be a slow day."

She looks up at him, locking eyes. "And I know he doesn't drink when he is with Claire. I trust him that much. I just I don't trust him with himself."

"Or your heart" Rick says so gently and so sad for her sake that it breaks her heart all over again. He pulls her tighter against him and drops a kiss to the crown of her head in comfort.

She nodded. He was right. She didn't trust her dad with her heart. Not anymore. She wished she could. So much.

"I just feel like I'm letting him down. Like I let my mom down by abandoning my dad. They loved each other so much. She would be so disappointed that I gave up instead of trying harder. She would be mad." Tears were flowing rapidly. She had never confessed this to anyone. Her feelings of guilt.

"Kate, no." Rick protested. "Sadly I didn't get to know her, but your mom could never be disappointed in you. You are saving yourself and your daughter from heavy emotional distress. And it's not your fault that your dad is coping like he is."

Coping like he is. She could kiss him for that. Where did this man come from anyway? He didn't put the blame on her dad. He saw it for what it was. An addiction. A disease.

Kate sighed a shaky breath. "I know. Rationally I know that. But that's how I feel and no matter how hard I try I just can't rationalize my feelings away."

Rick didn't know what to say for a few minutes. He didn't know how to help her. But Kate didn't expect him too. She enjoyed his arms around her and how safe and warm she felt. How comforting it was to share this terrible part of her life with him and not have him judging. She left her face buried against the now wet fabric of his shirt covering his chest. The tears were slowly stopping to flow but she didn't feel like pulling out of his comforting embrace at all.

"Maybe he needs regularity" Rick contemplated after some time in which he'd just held her. "Maybe then he would be able to stay away from alcohol."

"We already tried that" Kate sighed. "Years ago. He went to AA meetings twice a week but it just wouldn't help"

"That wasn't the regularity I was talking about. I was thinking about family" Rick said gently.

"I tried that too. For some time we met once a week and he was mostly sober but then he would start again once our meeting was over. And then when it was closer to December and therefore Christmas he forgot our meeting more times than not."

"Don't get me wrong, Kate. I guess that's a good start. But meeting you once a week isn't having family. It's nice and all. But your dad probably lost his center of life when your mother died. And I don't think that if I were in your father's shoes meeting my daughter once a week for a few hours would be enough if the rest of my week felt like hell."

Kate pulled back and stared at him, shocked. "So you are saying that there isn't any hope? That I will never be enough to pull my dad out of his rabbit hole?" Maybe he was right. But how dare he to say that? She tried to free herself from his embrace.

"God, Kate, no!" Rick protested and held her tighter so she couldn't break their contact. "That's not at all what I wanted to say. What I was trying to say…" he started but then broke up.

"You said he wouldn't ever drink while being with Claire?" he asked instead. Kate nodded.

"Did you, I don't know, ever try to include him more in your family life with Claire and Josh? Like spending the weekend together, going to the zoo, the museum, the playground. Or going on vacation together or something like that?"

Kate stared at him for a few moments. That would sound like a great idea if things wouldn't have been like they had been. She shook her head.

"Josh didn't want Claire to have anything to do with her alcoholic grandfather and he didn't like him. They really didn't get along too well. Dad didn't like Josh either. He never said it. I think that he felt that he had no right to judge over my boyfriends, not after he had started drinking. But I could feel it. He didn't approve of Josh and Josh didn't like him either. So no, that idea never even occurred to me." Kate told him.

Rick was contemplating if he should make the suggestion that was swirling around in his head or if it was a bad idea.

"Well, if you ever want to try again I would love to support you. I'd like to meet your dad sometime if you were willing to introduce us. Maybe he'd like to come over to the loft to have dinner with us and the girls. Maybe he could play with them. I'm sure they can make him happy for some time. At least for me it's always a joy to watch them play."

Kate stared at him. Her eyes were watering. This time not out of sadness or disappointment but because she was so moved about his willingness to help her in that difficult aspect of her life. He was really the perfect friend, wasn't he?

"You would let Alexis meet my alcoholic father?" she asked incredulous.

He shrugged. "Well, I'd like to meet him first. But he can't be that bad. I mean he was a part in raising you. And you are amazing."

Kate blushed and even smiled a little. But then she shook her head again. She didn't think this was a good idea.

"But Rick, it could go wrong. And I don't want Alexis to be disappointed. Or Claire. Or myself. Or you. Because I think you are really in danger of getting disappointed given how hopeful you are that this would be working."

"I'd explain to Alexis. And you could do the same with Claire. And for myself… I would take the risk. Provided that you would want it, of course. You are my best friend and your dad is a part of you. He is your family. And I don't know if you've noticed but I think family is important."

"You are amazing, Rick. Do you know that?" She looked up at him. He smiled at her like she had just given him the greatest compliment of his life.

"I just want to help" he told her and pulled her even closer, kissing the crown of her head without thinking.

Kate decided to think about it. Maybe she was ready to try again. Maybe this time she would succeed. And even if she didn't Rick would be there, right? He would help her through it. Because he was her her best friend. She hadn't of him as that before but she liked the label he'd given their relationship. Best friends.

O-o-o-o-o

Rick found himself writing about Kate. He hadn't done that before. He hadn't written about her before. In fact he hadn't written about a real person in a long time. He'd written about characters that were inspired by real persons. He did that all the time. But he hadn't written about a real person since he'd been with Kyra.

He wrote on paper. He didn't feel like typing on a keyboard right now. No. He'd taken out his notebook and his favorite pen and had just started to write down whatever came to his mind.

After his conversation with Kate he'd itched to write. She'd gone upstairs to the guest room to stay overnight. She would have to get up extra early to go home, change, pick up Claire at Lanie's, go home again and then take Claire to preschool. But despite the complications Kate had immediately agreed when he'd offered his guest room for her to stay in again. He figured that she didn't feel like driving or that she didn't want to be in her apartment right now.

Now the words had stopped flowing out of his fingers and he was almost afraid of reading what he had written about her. He closed the notebook and put it into his nightstand. He wouldn't read it now. His curiosity would get the better of him soon enough but right now he was content with having written down all his thoughts.

He knew what he'd written about. He just didn't remember the exact words he'd used. But he'd written about the way Kate had confided in him. How she was even stronger than he had thought she was. How proud it made him feel to be the one she could talk to about these kind of things. How she'd felt in his arms when he'd held her, how she'd clung to his shirt as if she was holding onto him for dear life. How her hair smelled like cherries and how soft it felt against his lips when he'd softly and unthinkingly kissed the top of her head. He hadn't thought about it when he'd done it. Twice. But in retrospect he was almost afraid of what it meant.

Thinking about it he realized he might be interested in her in that way. Yeah, he might have a little crush on Kate Beckett. She was strong and soft and loving and gorgeous. She was just extraordinary. So no, he didn't have a crush on her. He was falling in love with her, he realized. That didn't mean he had to act on it though. He liked their friendship. And a friend was what Kate needed right now. So, a friend he would be.

O-o-o-o-o

I'm working on Claire's birthday party. So if anybody would like to give me some insider information for kids birthday parties in the US feel free to pm me. Because I'm pretty sure it's different than how a birthday of a kid is celebrated in Germany.