A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't posted this in over a year! This will be the final chapter, and the final part of it was how I decided to write this fic. Part of the first part of this chapter is from "Pity Party", and a couple of lines are inspired by "I Like the Way", also by lovelytheband. Thank you all for reading, and I hope that I'll have more fics out as soon as I can.
In the dark, the red numbers on the digital clock glow 2:56, and I sigh. I haven't been able to sleep, but I could chalk that up to the sleeping woman on top of me, her right hand holding my left as she breathes slowly and steadily. Usually if I was home now, I would wish that was out right now and a couple of shots down, but I can't seem to feel that way now when Rachel is warm and home even in her sleep. No one had ever made me feel as safe and wanted as she did, except maybe Max when we were kids but that was…that was different.
Man, it's scary how existing sounds.
After Max and her parents had moved, we stayed in constant contact. She even came to visit a few times, but it didn't feel the same anymore. Sure, we slipped into our pirate games like nothing had happened, but we were also growing up with different interests. Max became more serious about life, whereas I decided to leave home and explore the world after graduation. So far, the most I've done is feel sorry for myself like it's a hobby, with my head feeling heavy and anxiety holding me hostage. If I had a pity party, there'd be balloons and tears for everyone, and I'd be smiling but I wouldn't be happy.
I stare up at the glowing stars on my ceiling and smile to myself. As far as I can tell, Rachel's crazy matches mine, and I love that no one else compares to her. She makes my chest hurt at how hard my heart beats whenever she looks at me, or whenever she takes my hand in hers and talks about whatever's on her mind and fuck, I could spend the rest of my life with her.
Rachel stirs and opens her eyes slowly, trying to focus on my face in the dark. "You okay?" she mumbles sleepily, and I turn my face to her with a dopey smile. "High without me?" she continues, and I laugh.
"No," I answer quietly. "No, I'm just thinking about how unfulfilling my life was before you came around." I kiss her forehead and she sighs happily, nuzzling her face into my neck. I don't know what it is about her that makes me so mushy, except for maybe the fact that she's drawn me in with whatever fierce intensity this feeling shared between us.
We sit on the fire escape outside of my bedroom window and watch cars and people move below us, passing a joint between us and nursing our own beer. "You know," she starts, and I glance at her, the glow of the sun emphasizing the lightness of her hair. She looks so angelic, and I…couldn't be further from it. I feel the sudden urge to kiss her, but she stops me with a look. "Chloe?"
I shake my thoughts and hum, my eyes meeting hers.
"I was saying, I know we've only been hanging out for a few days, but everything between us feels like we've known each other for a long time." She grabs my hand and rests her head on my shoulder. "Back home, my life wasn't the best. I had people around me who were fun to be around, but they weren't truly my friends, and my family was somewhat of a mess. My father was the district attorney and kept the fact that I was adopted hidden from me until last week, after I found him with my birth mother. That's how I ended up here." She stretches her free hand out. "I guess I couldn't live at home anymore, knowing that I was being lied to."
"That's pretty fucked up," I tell her.
She nods. "It is, and because of it, I don't trust easily anymore. But you…I feel like I can trust you, and I do. I don't want this to end."
I nod against the top of her head and kiss her forehead. Whatever loneliness I had is gone being here with her, and I have a feeling that whatever this is, it's not going to end for a very long time.
Her eyes follow a bright blue butterfly as it flutters to one end of the casket, settling down and flapping its wings slowly. She smiles and lifts her head, knowing that somewhere, whatever fate they've been given to face, they're together.