I slowly took my time to get inside the house, as I wanted to prolong the time I had left before the forced marriage. Every step I took, the ground creaked and I felt like dying. I didn't want to accept my fate, I didn't want any of this at all. I wished I wasn't born. My unborn siblings were lucky to dodge this life, unfortunately, I was not.
"See Kirika! I found your handmaiden, as quick as I possibly could." His smile was beaming with his face all sweaty from a hard hunt. "So now," he pushed my former handmaiden to me and ushered her to get me ready. "I won't unshackle you until you're all ready for the ceremony." He evilly teased. "I will be outside of the house to give my future wife privacy,"
My handmaiden took me to a room and stared at me in shock. She grabbed my face, making me look into her terrified eyes. "Lady Chiba…" her voice broke, as well as her heart. Her fingers scanned over the bumps and bruises all over my face and neck. "What happened?" her eyes were on the verge of crying.
I inhaled deeply, composing myself before I told her the truth. "Well…" I started my story at the beginning where she was let go to the end where my current situation lied. "If they don't come for me, I'm taking my own life. I couldn't rely on you to save me because… I care too much to see you die because of me. He is a vile person… I managed to survive this long without ending myself. I am covered in bruises, I possibly have broken bones from him, but I am glad to see you again." I smiled through my tough and painful exterior and hugged her. Feeling her warm hug made me cry from all the things I went through. My hot tears wouldn't stop rolling as I wanted to escape from reality and keep holding onto my handmaiden.
"When I saw you in black and blue, I realized that you resemble your mother when she was hurting from your father, Lady Chiba. Life wasn't all so pretty for the household, but luckily I was able to save you from the unhappy parts." She stroked through my nasty and tangly hair. "I'm sorry you had to go through this."
"I know… I'm sorry for myself too."
My handmaiden combed my hair back, making it silky smooth and started to put on the shiromuku. "This was your mother's when she got married. Your ceremony is supposed to be a day to be happy not sad." She fitted the clothing around my body, tighten it a bit so it wouldn't look too loose.
I couldn't express my dead feelings. I was nothing when I wore my mother's shiromuku. It felt dishonorable as I soiled the attire with my sadness. I was drained, I was sad; I felt like a zombie. My handmaiden tried to make me talk as I couldn't form any words in my mouth. I became mute before the ceremony. There was too much dishonor wearing the shiromuku and looking like a hot mess.
"Look at me, so I can cover up your marks." My painted face covered all the horrible treatment I've received from the last few days, but it couldn't cover the bumps only the discolored skin. "Your sorrow eyes hurts me so much…" my handmaiden had to look away from me for a split second to regain her composure.
"Wow!" he appeared into the room unannounced, as his aura was different from earlier. This time it felt suffocating from immense anger. "You're so stupid to believe that someone will help you!" my handmaiden screamed as blood formed on her kimono.
"No!" I screamed, running over to her, but he quickly dragged me from her dying body. "Let go of me! I hate you! Just die already!" I was sobbing like crazy, melting off the makeup which covered my discolored face. Her eyes locked onto me, it looked so gentle but I was confused why it would.
"You will learn that doing things behind my back will only cause you pain!" He dragged me out of the house to the shrine where we were going to wed. I felt so stupid, just so stupid to say my plan out in the open. I should've known he wouldn't have left. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but all I hope now is someone to save me.
He held the chain that stopped me from exiting the house as we walked to the shrine. "I told you I would unlock it, but I changed my mind after hearing your mischievous plans. You're never going to be saved, you're never leaving me, Kirika. I am your rightful spouse and you are mine." He stopped walking and pulled my face close to him, showing who had authority.
"Go to Hell!" I spat at his face and continued walking.
Each step I took to get there felt heavier. My body weighed a ton as I had to force myself to walk to the shrine. "This crazy ass man is trying to kill us by having demons attack us!" I realized that the sun was setting, and the night was when demons are out and alive. "Wait," I turned to look at him. "Why are we wedding right now? Don't you know that demons will be out to find food?" I started to feel anxious as I thought about what happened to Giyu's sister. She died by the hand of a demon at her wedding.
"Why not? Til death do us part right? I don't mind dying by the hand of a demon." He laughed madly. He was definitely insane and I was not safe at all. I doubt I will be saved in time.
"You're a psychopath! If you will not die alongside with you," I stared at him in disgust. "But if it is to end my torment with you, then I don't care if you die…"
"You will die with me no matter what. We are fated to be with each other."
"No, you took everything from me. You stabbed my handmaiden! You stripped my freedom away from me! And you think beating me is okay?! You're beyond insane… You're a monster." I stared into his cold eyes, feeling so disappointed and scared for my life. "You will know what Hell feels like when you die tonight."
The sky was casted red and I was in the shrine with him. I've never felt so disappointed in my life until this moment: wearing my mother's shiromuku as I wasn't content with my life. Seeing the priest made it harder for me to believe that this moment was happening— having my life sealed to a monster until we parted by death.
As the ceremony was happening, the priest was speeding up his talking before nightfall could hit, but at this point, I didn't care if I were to die by a demon. I needed an escape from the psychotic person.
"Hurry up and finish the vows!" he rushed the priest by pressuring him.
I, on the other hand, couldn't take this heavy weight on my shoulders. Every moment was dreadful. The sun was quickly setting as demons were ready to awaken from their slumber. The wind was howling in the sky, creating cold breezes in the air. I kept looking back to see if anyone was coming, but I saw nothing. My insanity also started to rise. "I'm sorry…" I had to do it. My life wasn't taking a turn, so I was going to do it myself.
I tackled him down, despite my injuries and soreness, and forcefully sought for any blade that he had to kill the both of us. When I finally found the blade, I whipped it out and swiftly stabbed myself in the stomach. The sharpened blade easily broke through my skin, piercing itself into me. This pain didn't hurt as much as his abuse— this pain was a good pain, a relaxing pain. It felt like nothing can hurt me again. I fell on my back from the fatal blow. Breathing was painful and short, the wound stung, blood seeped out at the corner of my lips, and blood was expanding out on my attire.
"No!" He screamed, ripping out the blade from my wound and also stabbing himself. "I will die with you…! I'll do anything...to be with you…!" He was smiling through his pain, but I hoped he died quickly.
The priest yelled in horror as his bride and groom were killing themselves, and prayed for our souls before running off.
"You idiot…!" I breathed heavily, as I forced myself to sit up. "I'm not dying with you yet!" I ripped the chains out of his hand and slowly yet painfully stood up. "I didn't stab myself in a vital area because of course I knew you would be rash and stab where you'd likely bleed more." I finally had the last laugh as he was losing tons of blood. "I won't die here with the likes of you!" I staggered out of the shrine and dangerously walked out in the dark blue starry sky.
I pressed my hands against my bleeding wound and paced my breathing. I wasn't losing much blood, but again I was attracting demons around me even more than I should have. I felt so numb from the chilly wind as I walked somewhere. I didn't know where I was going since I wasn't familiar with the area.
"It seems like I don't even have to kill you if you're already dying. Eating that one man in the shrine was delicious," I looked over my shoulder to see a demon drenched in blood from the mouth down. "I thought I didn't make it in time for the ceremony, but I did." The demon laughed, before it walked toward me.
"Ha! I'm so glad you ate him. I'm glad that he got what he deserves." My chest felt so relieved from his existence. I've never felt so safe after his death.
"Now, it's your turn…" The demon approached me, as I backed away from it. I knew I couldn't outrun it, but I had a feeling that I wasn't going to die today.
"You're wrong!" a new voice came in, and in a blink of an eye, the demon was slain.
"Kirika?! Are you okay?" Zenitsu grabbed my shoulders and shook me.
I couldn't feel happy as much as I was now. I was glad to see the trio who came to my rescue. "I'm happy… I'm okay…!" I held in my tears and hugged him. "I need to be treated immediately. I'm bleeding but not excessively."
"Right!" Zenitsu scooped me up in his arms instead of letting me walk.
"Where's Giyu?" I noticed that he wasn't there with them.
"Well…" Zenitsu inhaled sharply before telling me. "When you never returned, Giyu got worried and started to search for you, but he couldn't find you day after day…. Sooooo," he again inhaled, prolonging my question. "He locked himself up in his room, never leaving because he felt guilty from your disappearance. I don't know if he even eats. One of the pillars received your letter, but instead of telling Giyu, we took it. Tanjiro suggested that Giyu wasn't in a stable situation so it was better to leave him be until we secured you."
"Oh, I see…" I found it interesting that Giyu had a mental breakdown because of my absence. I didn't think I would've affected him so much. "When we get back to the residence, I'm going to patch up and tend to him." I couldn't believe I made him feel that way. I kind of feel bad leaving him in a distraught state. My heart felt heavier what would happen to him if I were to die because of the last few days of being captured.
"You're handmaiden has passed away too. She told us about what happened, and her last words to you was: you should live your life with content, she loves you so much, and you've grown into a fine woman who can help yourself." I felt like crying when I heard him talk about my handmaiden, but I couldn't cry while Zenitsu was taking me to safety. "She also told us to tell you that she released the doves for you since she knew you couldn't." My heart shattered into many pieces that couldn't be repaired. She stuck with me to the very end, and she still died for me even after I thought she wouldn't.
When we finally arrived at the residence, I was immediately taken into the nursing room. Shinobu was the one who was stitching me up. I told her what happened to me because I knew she wanted to ask, but didn't because of my appearance. "What he did was horrible, but I have to move past that…" I took a few minutes to take in what happened to me.
"But I'm glad you're safe now. Giyu has been crying in bed for days, and nobody was able to get him out of there." Shinobu helped me change out from the wedding attire into a lightweight kimono. "And I'm also glad that you didn't stab yourself in a vital area. You could've underwent major surgery, but this one was light and easy." She softly smiled at me.
I slowly walked in the halls to find Giyu's room. I tried to use my memory to locate his room since we were supposed to sleep together. When I located the room, I quietly slid the door wide enough for my body to slip through. There I saw him curling up like a fetus in his futon. I didn't know if he was sleeping or not, but seeing his position made my chest ache. "I'm so sorry…" I hugged his fetal positioned body without trying to rip my stitches open. "I've only caused you so much pain ever since we met." I breathed in his scent and brushed his hair away from his face. Giyu never looked so broken in his sleep—through tiredness he still had a remorseful expression that couldn't be washed away. "Would've been better if you've never have met me?" I pondered sadly, feeling like I was the cause of his suffering. "I hope you can forgive me."