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Hermione Jean Granger-Weasley

"She couldn't be at home at the night time because it made her feel lonely but at that time she was too young."

- Alec Benjamin -

Hermione Jean Granger. War heroine, the minister for magic, a successful wife, the mother of two children. She was the definition of success. What nobody knew was that she spent hours wondering where in her life she had gone wrong - now that she was sitting on the couch, her husband's arm wrapped around her, pondering the same thing.

What had she done wrong?

She should've been utterly happy. She had achieved everything her eleven-old-self had aimed for, stability, family, power and social-acceptability. But seeing the boy she used to love as a man today… it made her doubt all the decisions she had ever made. It made her wonder for a second what would have happened if she had come back for him? If they were still together…

"What is in your mind, baby?" Ron muttered into her hair, softly kissing her forehead. Hermione could feel his breath brushing against her hair, touching the bear skin of her ears and she should've felt safe. All she felt, though, was the urge to pull away. But she didn't.

"Nothing," she, instead, said slowly getting away from her husband's grip as she tried to look him in the eyes. How could she? How could she look him in his pure blue eyes when all she could do was picture another man in place of his kind soul? How could she when she knew she still - after twenty years - had feelings for the one man her husband despised. "It is just Rose… she is such a troublemaker."

"Well," Ron grinned… how innocent he looked when he did that and how guilty Hermione was for wanting to see another grin every time, "she has it in her blood. She is a Granger-Weasley after all."

Hermione nodded with a weak smile on her face. She used to like the small talks they had, the closeness she felt between the wife and husband they were, but now… it seemed like a tourment to act like everything was fine. It wasn't.

Seeing Draco again - yet after promising she was never to face him again - made her suffer with sweet pain. The first love never dies, they say, but they forget to mention sometimes it gets stronger day by day… Sometimes it makes you want to throw away everything you have for the sake of having another moment with our very first love.

With Draco Lucius Malfoy.

With Draco who had lost his wife. With Draco who had a son. With Draco whose son was her daughter's boyfriend.

Hermione leaned on the couch again. This time, moving further from Ron so he couldn't take her in his arms like she hadn't seen her ex-boyfriend today. Like she wasn't all lost in lust.

She got lost in lust the moment she laid eyes on him. The lust had been with her for almost thirty years now and that morning, when she saw Draco once more, the lust was just amplified. When his silver eyes looked into brown ones of hers, she felt her heart skip a beat or two. She felt her heart want to clench onto something so it wouldn't fall once again. Like when it did when they had stood in the same office years ago, when the first blossoms of love were born. And epic, poetic love.

"You seem distracted, 'Mione," Ron said as he reached for her hand but she pulled away, getting lost in one of teenage-hood memories. That one time when she got drunk with Draco. When she finally had the courage to kiss him on the mouth just for the fun of it in front of everyone she knew. Because it was Draco. And with him, it was hard not to be yourself.

"I am," she admitted, "The ministry had got me all worned-out and now, Rose isn't helping much. Neither is my husband." Hermione didn't mean to make it bitter. She didn't mean to put it all on him - because it wasn't his fault. It was hers. But she couldn't help but be angry.

"Ok, what do you mean?" Ron sat straight, making a I-don't-understand face and it pissed Hermione off.

"What do I mean?" Hermione spat the words at him, "I didn't want to actually say it but you can't just help yourself, Ronald, can you?" she stood up, ready to leave the living room, pretty sure the children were listening by now, but why on earth didn't she care? "Let's hear it, then. Between me and you, the one actually doing a job, is me. The one who has the better place is me and what do you do? Hide in your joke shop? And I am the one who is supposed to cancel a meeting with the council of Wizengamot to go check on your daughter?"

"She is yours as well." Ron protested, trying to keep his cool. "Just calm the hell down, Hermione. Let's not make a big deal out of it."

"Of course you say that," Hermione shrugged, "you always do, Ronald."

"What do you mean?" He narrowed his eyes at the brunette in front of him and she lost it completely… seeing his blue eyes stormy, knowing it was because of her… it made her mad. And what better option that to lash out,

"I mean, if it was anyone else rather than you, Ronald Weasley, he would've understood by now. If it was Draco freaking Malfoy, he would've understood ages ago!" Hermione felt the tears pushing their way out and she could see Ron ready to explode, his ears the same color as his hair.

"So this is what it is about, huh?" Ron stood up, "Draco Malfoy? Seeing him made you regret all your decisions once again? I thought you were past that. I thought we were a family!"

"We are!" Hermione shouted at the top of her lungs, wondering how they got here? All angry and messed up… all caught up in the past.

"Then why don't I get that feeling?"

"Because, you are mental, Ron," Hermione found herself sobbing, tired of how long the day had gotten, "Because you are bloody blind and you want to make everything about yourself." Hermione took a step towards the staircase leading to their room, "Because, you are you and you make me wonder if I have made the right decision or not."

Hermione stormed into her bedroom, pretty sure she had said the wrong thing. Minutes later, she heard the main door slammed shut as an angry ginger left the house and her behind. Somehow, it made her feel better. Getting away from Ron was good at the moment.

She threw herself on the bed and closed her eyes. Her mind flew to the time in second year when Draco stood in front of Dumbldore, in the same room they had stood in today, and so did Hermione.

"I've heard some unfortunate news, Mister Malfoy," Dumbldore had said to the pale twelve-year-old in front of him and Draco had rolled his eyes. How much she wanted to scratch those eyes out with her nails. A year later, all she wanted to do was kiss them endlessly.

"I can't imagine what this is," Draco said carefreely, avoiding eye-contact with the old headmaster and the girl whom he had called mudblood. Hermione had shivered with hatred back then. A year later, she had shivered again but this time with ecstasy as his hands touched hers in the most gentle way imaginable.

"Calling a muggle-born, a very smart muggle-born, the m-word by one of our most intelligent students is indeed an unfortunate thing to hear, don't you think?"

Hagrid had told him. Of course he had after Hermione sobbed the words while she felt her heart broken for the thousandth time in his flat.

"Mudblood, you mean?" Draco had thrown a dangerous glance at Hermione, "Why wouldn't I call her by the name she deserves?"

Hermione wanted to scream, she wanted to shout, "I HATE YOU DRACO BLOODY MALFOY!" but instead she flinched, keeping a straight face. She wasn't willing to show him how much pain he had caused her.

"You need to learn that this is unacceptable behaviour indeed," Dumbldore had said, "I am pretty sure a few detentions with the supervision of Miss Granger would help you have a clearer image of what people deserve or not."

"For how long?" Draco had choked the words with disgust and scornfully.

"For how ever long it is necessary," the Headmaster had said, "Did you want a lemon sherbet?"

Hermione, now in the edge of forty, recalled all the detentions she had supervised, all the jokes they had shared through years… how they had been friends by the end of their second-year. How they had grown to be more in the following years. How they had shared innocent kisses as thirteen-year-olds and how it turned into heated ones three years later. Just before Draco decided to shut her out. Just before her sweet fairy-tale turned into a night-mare. Just before he gave her all he had and took it away.

She remembered lying at the top of him, being in-love was good for her, he looked at her like he had never seen anything more beautiful. She remembered the feelings he made her feel, how her stomach flipped, how her lips curved for his.

"I can never stop thinking about you," he had said and how innocently she had believed. How naive she was… but was that all lies? She still wondered about it sometimes. She still wondered how good of a liar somebody should be to praise her.

She remembered how he had looked at her when Ron touched her hand in the battle of Hogwarts protectively… She remembered that was when he took the first step towards the Dark Lord and she still wondered if that was the moment she should've ran to him and never let him go. She wondered if it was all he needed to keep her close and cherish her forever.

She would never know because she hadn't run to him, he hadn't turned to throw a glance towards her and what they had was gone.

A knock on the door distracted her, pulling her out of the thick world of memories, "Mum?" it was Rose, her little girl who was making the same move as her mother had done. Apparently, Granger girls were attracted to Malfoy boys.

"Yes, honey?" She stood up and walked to her girl, who was growing so fast she hadn't realized she was actually fifteen-year-old.

"Where did Dad go?" she asked, "I mean, the fight was pretty bad so I came to check on you…"

"I'm fine, baby," Hermione kissed her forehead and hugged her so tight, "It is normal to have fights every now and then. Don't worry, Dad will be home in a while."

"Scorpius says his parents never fought." Rose grinned, "I always tell him how big of a liar he is." so, this is how happy they were. Before Astoria died and left Draco a sad widow.

"Well, families are different, honey." Hermione smiled. "Maybe they didn't fight but we do and it is going to be fine."

Rose nodded and Hermione put her hand behind her back, leading her to her bedroom, "Now, you need to sleep. I will drop you in Hogwarts tomorrow. This time, though, no fighting, ok?"

"It was Nott's fault!" the little girl protested.

"Promise me."

"I promise," Rose growled and Hermione giggled as she placed her daughter on her bed, "Night, baby."

She nodded and she put out the lights. "Mum?" she said right before Hermione leaves her room.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Scorpius is a good boy?" Rose seemed nervous and Hermione smiled. Oh, how sweetly young she seemed.

"Do you think he is?" Hermione asked her daughter. If he is half as nice as his father, he indeed is a charming young man.

"I think he is."

"Then, he is a nice boy…" Hermione smiled, "Though, don't put all of your trust in him, so fast"

"I can take care of myself, mum." Rose grinned, "good night."

Hermione left the young girl's room and walked to the living room, sitting on one of the couches, waiting for her husband to come home as she tried to put the memories at rest.

To put the broken fragments of her mind at ease… to put away the best times of her life and snap back to the reality her life was. To live this life she had.

But why did she miss him?

Because he was all the darkness she was allured to. Because he was all the mystery and love one craved. Because he was the only one who seemed to think her light was attractive.

The door moved and Ron appeared in the door framed moments later. Hermione stood up and walked to him, "Ron."

"Woah, it is late. Why are you awake?" he asked, looking tired. She didn't know what to say. So, she said what she thought he would want to hear even though it was nothing but a lie. Like this happiness she had the illusion of.

"I was waiting for you." she said, "To say I am sorry. Because, Ron, I really -" she was caught off when Ron placed his hand on her back, pulling her in as his lips touched hers in an affectionate kiss. He kissed her like she was the only thing that mattered in the world and she fought herself with all she had so she wouldn't pull away.

He kissed her like she was all he ever wanted and she kissed him like he was the only thing she didn't.

He didn't realize it.

"I am sorry, too." Ron said as he looked into her eyes. And all Hermione could think of was a pair of grey eyes that had stared into hers with such surprise this morning - it was sick and it made Hermione hate herself.

"It's okay." she said as she let Ron lead her into their bedroom. Though, all she could think of were those silver eyes even when another man's hand was touching her, even if she was staring into another's eyes.

Because, sweet lord, he was all the colors, at their weakest… and she was the painter who knew where to use them. He was all the attractions in the world… he was the hunter and she was the prey who couldn't leave his trap.

And she longed for him, she yearned for him, she missed him, because he was everything she wanted.

But above all,

He was hers.

.

.

A/N: Yes, I posted a second part. but istg this is the last one and I am sorry if I made Hermione a bit irrational - it's just love ig and I am better at writing Draco anyways so review please!

all the love,

Sanita