Chapter 1: His Last Words

"Hey. " Sam softly utters to Bruce with a rarely used tone of urgency. Bruce is half listening, his attention preoccupied with the equipment on the walls of the space enabled quinjet.

"How long are we gonna do this?"

"It should have worked, with the reality, time and soul stones it should have worked. Theoretically — the simulations checked out, Friday said 99.99%..." Bruce's words fall on deaf ears as he attempts to convince himself he was right, what they were doing was right, because reality was telling a very different story.

"Bruce. It's been 30 minutes. For god's sake. This is wrong. Someone needs to tell him, or he's not going to stop."

"Dammit. We should have brought Shuri, maybe if we go to Wakanda they can…"

Sam grasps Bruce's green bicep tightly and his attention is forcibly taken off the medical equipment.

"They can what? Resurrect her?"

Bruce looks down in defeat, and the only sound that can be heard is the loud beeping noise coming from the cardiac monitor that designates asystole… no heart beat.

"Yeah, last time I checked THAT wasn't a thing. And THAT wasn't the plan. Besides you know exactly why we couldn't bring Shuri. The risk was too high. This was a hail mary at best, we all knew that going in and we had to try, but we need to call it. For Him."

Sam nods his head toward the painful sight behind him, Steve performing chest compressions while murmuring desperate pleas.

"Nat, come on, don't do this" the sounds of him pressing up and down on her chest are the only response.

"I've got you..."

"You've … just… Nat, you gotta meet me halfway here."

"I never meant... you had to know I never meant…this...not like this. "

"Oh God, I-I should have… I didn't ..."

"I just need you to come back. Dammit, just come back. For me, please?"

"Please, God, just please."

Sam approaches and places a hand on Steve's shoulder.

"Steve." Steve jumps at the interruption and looks over to his best friend, realizing he forgot the two other avengers were there with him.

Steve looks to Sam with wild eyes and sees his melancholy expression. Sam shakes his head side to side.

"No." Steve panics in a way he never has before.

"NO, not yet. I can do this, we can do this. She's there I can feel it. Just, give me more time. I-I can do this all day. As long as her blood is pumping and we're breathing for her, sh-she'll be okay. Right? Bruce?"

Steve looks to Bruce, and Bruce won't -no can't make eye contact.

"She- she can't be. She, she's right here… right here in front of me."

"I know," Sam uses his voice reserved for his group of veterans back home "but remember we agreed. Before we came here, we all agreed that no matter how painful it would be, we would in the very least bring her home for her funeral, to honor her. And it would be better than not trying at all."

Steve has stopped the compressions. Listening to the horrific truth in the Falcon's words.

"We only have a small time window for this and it's closing soon. If we don't make the quantum jump soon, we won't make it home. All of us. It's time."

Steve nods his head in acknowledgment, but still not taking his eyes off her still form.

"Can you give us a minute?"

Sam and Bruce go to exit the main cabin of the quintet. Bruce turns off the sound of the machines on his way to the front of the shop, while Sam casts a lingering expression of concern.

"We'll be in the cockpit if you need us. We have 30 minutes until the jump."

Once alone, Steve was drowning in his thoughts. His eyes dance over her still body. God, even now, she was beautiful. He reaches to tuck a stray strand of crimson hair behind her ear.

" I-I don't know where to start. Where do I begin to tell you how much you mean to me. I didn't realize how, how important you've become. I—"

Steve lets out a breath with quivering lips. Trying to keep it together, then a cynical chuckle escapes.

"I guess I really am predictable, huh? First Peggy, now you… You would probably make fun of my age about now, something like you can't teach an old dog new tricks. "

Steve couldn't shake the bitter taste accumulating in his mouth. History was repeating itself and that didn't sit well with Steve. He liked to think he was the master of his own destiny, but fate was telling him that he was always going to be the guy that waited too long, always alone, always out of time. He was too late with Peggy and now he was yet again too late, to tell the woman he loved what she meant to him. Only this time around he's beginning to understand the pain Peggy must have went through after being left behind, the gut-wrenching guilt of survival and the strength it required to move on. Steve takes a deep breath and musters the courage to bare his soul.

"Nat, you are undoubtedly the strongest, and most inspiring person I have ever met. You make me a better version of myself and I've come to depend on you. Working with you as partners, as best friends has been the biggest blessing in my life. When we first met, I never told you this, but my life… my life was nothing before I met you. Everything and everyone I had was gone the minute I went into the ice. Until you came along and we became the backbone of the avengers. Training Wanda, Sam and Vision together, we really complimented each other in the best always pushed me and everyone around you to be better, even if it hurt you. You supported us all, in the shadows,, anticipating everyone's needs before we even knew we needed it. God, you are just so damn brilliant. And after the accords, while we were on the run… I can honestly say I've never trusted anyone more in my life. That includes Buck. I never would have survived those years without you by my side. Hell, I dare say I have come to treasure those years. It feels so wrong without you here. I guess what I'm saying is:

Natasha, I love you. For all that you are and with every fiber in my being. I want to thank you for all the good you brought to my life and to everyone around you, despite the obstacles that came with it. I will absolutely never forget you because you are my everything."

He kisses the top of her forehead and lets go of the lifeless hand that he was subconsciously holding, and rests it across her abdomen.

He's almost nearly ready to stand, but can't bring himself to.

"I know this… it might be useless at this point. But, I have to say one more thing."

He blows out a slow, shaky breath.

"I'm sorry."a choked sob escapes his lips and tears start to trickle down his cheeks. "God, I'm so sorry." He takes a deep breath and hardens his face.

"I shouldn't have said... on the bridge. I was—it was so stupid. Whatever it takes?-What was I thinking!? We… don't... we shouldn't trade lives. We weren't supposed to trade lives. You never would have been so reckless with your words. It—it wasn't worth the cost. The price we paid was too much…the price I paid... it's too damn much. " His tears have turned angry and he feels his clenched fists break skin on his palms.

He turns his gaze away from her and into the floor, with guilt-stricken features. Unable to look at her corpse any longer, he kneels next to the cot, grasping the sheets beside her body attempting to calm his anger. After a few moments, he changes positions resting on his elbows and his hands wringing together in a prayer like fashion. He readies himself for a confession that he knows will haunt him for the rest of his life, but he owes her at least that much.

"I'm sorry..." He brings his forehead to his hands as the painful words fall out of his mouth."I-I asked you to pay the ultimate price. I- let you feel expendable, and that was never my intent, never my -you-it's my fault and I'm so sorry for that. You mean the world to so many, myself included and you deserved so much more than this."

The only reply he gets is a deadly silence which fills the room.